It’s funny how things that are true on a huge, galactic scale are also true on a tiny, microcosmic scale.

Solar systems are made of suns with planets orbiting around them. Planets have moons orbiting around them. Atoms are made of a nucleus with electrons orbiting around it.

Interacting with girls is the same way, both on a large scale, and on a microcosmic scale.

For example, most guys know instinctively if you make girls the sole purpose of your life, you won’t get very far. 

Sure, there are some world famous pick up artists that are actually homeless, but because of their super tight game, they just move from relationship to relationship, always staying with the girls they are currently with. 

Even though they’re homeless, they never have to spend a single night on the street.

Now, for some, this would be a dream come true. But for most normal guys, this would kind of suck. It’s nice to have your own place, your own car, your own money, your own job and a boss who appreciated what you do and would fight tooth and nail to keep you on board.

In the big scheme of things, having a girl is a great PART of your life, to be sure. And all that comes with that later on (family, etc, if that’s what you want.)

But that shouldn’t be the central FOCUS of your life.

Similarly when you go out, making girls the most important focus isn’t likely the best strategy. Most guys, when they think back to the best nights of their lives, according to their interactions with females, were nights where they DIDN’T specifically go out looking for girls.

Take a look at this on an even smaller scale. Suppose you’re in some place with your boys, having fun. You see a cutie across the room, and you trade a few flirty eye locks.

If you dropped everything and walked over there while staring straight at her as if she were the ONLY person in the world, she’d likely flee in terror.

That’s why it’s always a good strategy to kind of “show up” next to her. Then simply “ease yourself” into a conversation with her.

Now, if you’re doing this as part of your “game,” and while you “pretend” to be nonchalant, you can’t get your mind off her, it might not work as well.

But if you’re attitude is to “make your way over there,” and “see what she’s like,” AND it’s congruent with your attitude toward girls both in life and that night, you’ll be much more successful.

You and she will be more relaxed when you talk. You’ll both be less likely to “put on your game face” and try any short term tricks.

Which means if you DO hit it off, it will be real, and not fake.

Now, holding that frame of mind can be tough.

This will help:

Frame Control