Once I was at this party, taking to a lady friend of mind. She was pretty attractive, and would always get hit on by guys.

One guy came up, and said up front he wasn’t trying to hit on her.  Then he started asking her about her clothes, where she got them etc.  During the whole conversation (which didn’t really last that long) he mentioned three or four times that he wasn’t trying to hit on her.

Which meant that he was really worried that SHE would think he was trying to hit on her. Which meant he was likely, at least on a subconscious level, hitting on her.

Many guys share this same fear. They walk up to a girl, and they’ve somehow been taught they need to be ultra secretive with their intentions, because if she thinks he’s hitting on her, he’s toast. All the music will stop, the house lights will all shine on him, and every body will KNOW that was he was breaking some cardinal rule of social etiquette.

Luckily, this is all in your head (if you indeed feel this way). The truth is that most girls LOVE to be “hit on” by guys. At least guys that are normal, and can easily take “no” for an answer.

Another time I was at this bookstore, in the coffee shop section. There was a pretty cute girl sitting at the table in front of me. Some guy walked up, and didn’t even introduce himself, ask her name, or make any attempt to start a conversation. He just asked for her phone number. She was polite, not mean in the least, but said, “no thanks.”

He DIDN’T take it in stride. He stood there for at least another couple minutes asking why. The longer he stood there, the angrier he got.

Some guys feel ENTITLED to get phone numbers from girls, simply because they walk up and ask. They act like the universe (or somebody) owes them some kind of reward simply for asking.

Now, as this guy kept getting angrier and angrier, she kept getting more and more nervous. Finally he left, and she was understandably upset. From her perspective, all she wanted was to spend a relaxing day at the bookstore, but some guy ruined it for her.

Clearly, this is NOT the way to approach. 

What IS the way to approach?

Introduce yourself. Start a conversation. If she smiles while she’s talking to you, it’s probably safe to ask. If she says “no,” walk away.

If she says “yes,” get it, smile and walk away.

If you approach like this, either way she’ll be glad you did.

Do this with enough girls, and you’ll be dating your dream girl in no time.

Learn More:

Girlfriend Generator