I like you but I don’t need you.

This is the perfect attitude to have when talking to girls. Of course, you should never say this. Feeling needed is a very deep  and very ancient human desire. Telling somebody straight out that you don’t need them is a horrible and painful slap in the emotional face.

But, on the other hand, coming on too strong with need is really, really creepy. Any guy that expresses too much need is going to destroy any attraction that may exist.

So, in the beginning, especially when you’re first talking to her, your actions should speak much louder than your words.

And your actions should proclaim that you like her. You like looking at her. You like listening to her talk. You like her smell, her energy, her movements.

But you’re perfectly fine without her.

And on top of that, you need to also project the “energy” that the whole purpose of that entire conversation is for you to find out more about her, and for her to find out more about you.

Not to trick her into sleeping with you, or con her by projecting an image of yourself that you’re really not.

Notice all this has to do with inner game, not any kind of outer language technology.

There’s absolutely no set of “language patterns” that will project these ideas or beliefs.

Only your inner state can do that.

How Do You Develop That Inner State?

First, see your life as the most important part of your life. Sounds silly but many people tend put things outside of themselves as very important to their lives.

Secondly, have some standards beyond physical beauty. Actually write out a list of things that your ideal girlfriend or lover has to have, besides her looks and sexy body. Personality traits. Beliefs. Ideas about her future. Levels of her self confidence.

Having a set of objective standard will make it much easier to approach.

Why?

If all you need are good looks, then you’ve accepted her before you even talk to her. Which means the whole conversation is about you hoping she accepts you. This is nerve racking, to say the least.

But when the conversation is only a means of discovering who she is, it will be a lot more fun.

So take some time. Figure out what you want in life, outside of women and relationships.

Then take some time, figuring out what you want in a woman, and in a relation.

Then have fun making it happen.

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control