What exactly is a magnetic gaze?

It’s one of those things you know when you see it. You know when you feel it. Sometimes even before you see it.

First of all, what’s the “magnetic” part? Clearly, this means it’s attractive. Something you want to move towards. Something that grabs your attention, in a good way, so you don’t want to think about anything else.

Second, the gaze part. A gaze is different than a stare. Different than a glance. Different than a look. Different than an intense focus.

A gaze is relaxed, taking in everything. Open peripheral vision, taking in everything, but kind of looking at the center. Like if you’re standing up close to a HUGE but gorgeous painting. In order to see the whole thing, you’d need to stand back a few meters.

But if you’re only a couple feet away, you can gaze at the center, while taking in the outer edges with your peripheral vision.

When somebody looks at you with a magnetic gaze, they are projecting quite a few things at once.

One is they are only slightly looking at you. They are interested in you, but you’re clearly not the most important person in the world, otherwise it would be an intense stare.

Like a starving dog looking a bowl of puppy chow.

They’re also very, very relaxed. Which means they aren’t concerned in the least if you “gaze” back at them, or even stare.

They’re basically saying, “I enjoy looking at you. Whether or not you appreciate that isn’t really important, but it could be. Also, I’m not really concerned with what other people think of me standing here enjoying looking at you.”

This takes confidence. This takes inner control. This takes some practice.

Not practice DOING anything, but practice NOT doing certain things.

Like listening to those self doubts. Like worrying about what other people think about you. Like making your own self confidence and self worth dependent on their response to your appreciation of them.

How can you practice?

One way is to simple go out and “people watch.” Find somebody that you find interesting, for whatever reason. Then just relax your eyes, put them at the center of your gaze, and enjoy what you see.

At first, you may start to worry what will happen if they “catch you.” See how long you can dismiss that worry.

If they do, “catch you,” simply smile, and keep gazing. Then just slowly shift your eyes somewhere else.

Make a game out of it. See how long you can “hold it,” even after they see you. 

The magic comes when they see you gazing, you smile, and keep gazing, and they smile, and gaze right back.

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