If you think back to your best nights with people in general, or girls in particular, you will likely come to a startling (or maybe not so startling) conclusion.

None of those nights or days happened because you were running some ultra tight game, where you were viewing your conversations with others like some high level chess game. You weren’t planning your statements and words with a thought of what they’d say next, and what you might say after that, and ten or twenty minutes into the future.

Instead, you were likely very much in the moment. She said something, and you automatically said something back. You didn’t think about it, or choose your words, or even knew how you were going to finish a sentence when you started it.

You were in that mystical magical energy flow that is so rare but so awesome. You say something, she says something you say something, and it just flows back and forth.

Imagine if you tried to play tennis like some guys try and “spit game.” You had some set of moves memorized out, but they only worked if your opponent hit the ball a certain way.

You wouldn’t last long.

Sure, you should practice your backhand, your serve, your forehand, short game, back game (or whatever they call it). All individually, all seriously.

But when you’re playing a game, you just show up and play. Let your instincts do the work. Let your stamina do the work.

And guess what? The more you play, the better you’d get. The more you’d practice, the better you’d get.

But for some reason, guys don’t think of social skills like this. They seem to think you need to follow some set of rules or steps or something.

But in reality, it’s pretty simple. Just keep talking to people. The more people you talk to, the better you’ll get. The more people you talk to, the more experience you’ll get, which means you’ll have more stuff to talk about.

If you want to drill certain aspects of “game,” like you would in tennis, you can do that as well.

Just practice eye contact one day. Nothing else. Practice saying hello. Do nothing else until  you say hello to 100 girls. Then practice introducing yourself. Do nothing else. Keep this up until you introduce yourself to 100 girls.

Sure, it may take a while. But if you drill yourself like this, and at the same time, having relaxing, normal, conversations with people whenever and wherever you see them, you will develop some VERY powerful, VERY attractive, and VERY natural game.

The kind you don’t even need to think about. And that wonderful flow will happen again and again and again.

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