Determine The End Point BEFORE You Talk To Her
Other “subjects” are more like skills. Math for example. The only way you can get better at math is by practicing math. If you tried to memorize some equations, it wouldn’t get you very far. Language and sports are the same way. If you tried to get better at basketball by studying some books in the library, you wouldn’t be a very good basketball player.
Sure, you could talk about it intelligently, you could sound like you knew what was going on. But if somebody put a ball in your hand, you wouldn’t know what to do.
All human relationships are skills like that. If you want to get better at sales, you’ll need to practice. If you wanted to get better at public speaking, the only way would be to practice. If you wanted to get better at negotiating, the only way would be to practice.
Talking to girls is the same way. For some reason, many guys imagine that talking to girls is something you can learn from a book or by reading various forums. Sure, this can help you in between practice sessions, but it is by no means a substitute for practice.
One problem that comes up is separating practice from the real thing. If you were practicing basketball, you’d do drills, and you’d have scrimmages, or practice games. You wouldn’t worry too much about the practice games, only the games with other teams.
But for some reason, when guys go out, they rarely see it as practice. They always see it as the real thing. Which means they don’t see it as a learning experience. It’s always in the frame of “success or failure.” And unless you’re a stone cold natural from birth, you’ll have many more failures than successes.
This makes it INCREDIBLY hard to get out there. Imagine if you were on a basketball team and the ONLY time you ever even dribbled a ball was during a regular game! You’d have to lose plenty of games through plenty of seasons before you got any good.
That’s why you should PRACTICE with girls, much more often than you talk to them for real. How do you practice? Choose an end point BEFORE you talk to her, and stick to it.
For example, if you are OK with flirting but can’t open to save your life, go out and PRACTICE opening. Don’t worry what happens next. Just see it as practice. Don’t worry about closing or even exchanging names. Once you start talking to her, YOU’RE DONE. Exit gracefully and find somebody else.
This is much harder than it sounds. Guys are genetically wired to go as far as we can with every single girl. But if you force yourself to practice, you’ll get a lot better, a lot more quickly.