Be A Leader First

How you deal with frame tests will make or break your game.

Most guys are terrible at this. At the first sign of trouble, they eject, run home, write some post on their favorite forum about how girls are evil, and they shouldn’t behave the way they do, and get all kinds of positive support and feedback from a world filled with keyboard jockeys.

Now, think about this from a female perspective. Most guys never do this. Most guys think of “women” in the abstract, and expect them to behave in a certain way, and then they get all butt hurt when they don’t.

Don’t Expect A Pushover

Imagine a woman moving through the world. She wants a strong leader. She wants somebody who will make her feel safe. She wants somebody who will “softly” overpower her frame, with respect and kindness.

She DOESN’T want some guy who’s going to expect her to behave in a certain way, they get emotionally wounded when she doesn’t.

She is hard wired to shake your frame any way she can, just to make sure you’re the real deal. The STRONGER your frame, the STRONGER her attraction for you. The ONLY way she will know if your frame is strong is if she tests it.

Crude Example

Think of a blind guy going to a bar. He only likes girls with big boobs, so he’s got to cop a feel whenever possible to qualify of disqualify girls. Now, he won’t just reach out and grab them, that would get him slapped. So he’ll talk to her, touch her shoulder, and eventually rub up against her boobs with his arm or something.

When a girl talks to a guy, she’s got the same disadvantage. She’s got to “feel out” your frame. She can’t tell by looking, and she can’t tell by surface structure conversation. She’s got to rattle you a bit, and see how you respond.

How do you prepare for this? Practice verbal flexibility. Practice choosing an outcome, an intention for the conversation, and gently steer it back to that intention no matter WHERE the conversation goes.

Language Ninja

That way, no matter WHAT she says, you’ll just see it is a short detour, and then get back on track.

Every time you steer the conversation back on track, she’ll follow you, and any time a girl follows a guy, physically, conversationally, or metaphorically, that spells attraction.

How do you learn how to do this?