I was reading a pretty good financial article the other night.

It was by this guy who’d written a few bestselling books. He’s got connections inside the Federal Reserve, and he’s been in the business for many years.

So he knows what he’s talking about.

Anyhow, he said anything is easy to understand when you have the right model.

But with the wrong model, you’ll never “get it.”

Of course, politicians and the economists who work for them choose models to help their careers, rather than accurately describe what’s going.

Which is why government run economies usually don’t do so well.

One my favorite stories from physics is the discovery of Quantum Mechanics.

A bunch of ultra-smart dudes (Einstein, Bohr, Plank, etc) were trying to out exactly how this “event” was happening.

They kept trying different mathematical models, and kept getting it wrong. Even Einstein.

But unlike government goofs who are in love with their own ideas, as soon as they found out their model was wrong, they had no problems trashing it and coming up with a new one.

We ALL share the same type of misconception.

We become so in love with our own models, even when they aren’t working, we’ll do anything to FORCE them to be right.

That’s the heart of “cognitive dissonance.” We literally can’t see things that prove us wrong. Our monkey brains won’t let us. It thinks our egos can’t take it.

But if you’re trying to do ANYTHING that involves the participation of other people, you’ll ONLY be able to find people that are congruent with your own model.

This is where “confirmation bias” comes from. We only hang out with those who agree with us. Only watch TV shows that we agree with. Only read news sources that share our opinions of the world.

But if you can ditch that thinking, you’ll be able to build relationships with A LOT MORE people.

If you’re trying to sell something, you’ll make a lot more money.

If you’re trying to find a romantic partner, you’ll have a lot more options.

Now this is much deeper than simply trying to “see another person’s point of view.” Or changing your politics just to make a sale.

This is about listening to other people describe THEIR OWN model of the world.

And when you do that, you’ll be able to present YOUR IDEAS in terms of THEIR MODEL.

That way, it will sound much, much more congruent to them.

You’ll get more agreement, more dates, more sales more of whatever else you want that other people have.

Learn More:

Interpersonal Resonance