There are two types of tasks. Ones that take a long time, and ones that are over in a hurry. Tying your shoes, cooking dinner, fixing the squeak in your front door. These are “static” tasks that are once and done.

You don’t expect your shoes to keep coming untied, or that squeak to come back every couple days. (Or time to flow backwards and your dinner suddenly becoming uncooked).

Other tasks take much, much longer. One because they are much more involved. Two because the parameters of the task changes over time.

For example, think of a baseball game. The task is to win the game. But how that’s done isn’t specified. It all depends on what the opposing team does.

And it depends on what team you’re playing. As much they can, statisticians scout the opposition, so they can better understand who they’re up against. Even then it’s based a lot on human performance. Lesser teams beat better teams all the time.

Imagine if you wanted to know how to succeed in baseball, but you were afraid of playing. Imagine you bought a book called “How To Win Every Game You Play.” And the book was filled with strategies, techniques, gambits and plays that were guaranteed to “win every time.”

Or imagine you went down to your local bookstore and saw some guy selling such a book. You walked up and asked him:

“Are these strategies GUARANTEED to work?” 

“Yes Sir! No matter WHO you are playing against, no matter WHAT their strategy is, the techniques in this book will allow you to win every single game. In fact, we GUARANTEE you’ll go all the way, AND WIN the world series! It doesn’t even matter WHO your players are!”

Would you believe him?

I certainly hope not!

Yet this is precisely what guys are desperately looking for in the world of dating. Some guaranteed, sure fire line or strategy that will make ANY GIRL fall in love with him. Regardless of the girl, and regardless of the guy.

Part of the reason is that most guys are absolutely TERRIFIED of rejection. So instead of getting some experience of getting rejected (and proving to themselves it’s not deadly) they instead look for ways to AVOID REJECTION completely.

Some spend their entire lives looking for some “Holy Grail of Seduction” that will get them ALL of the rewards (sexy gorgeous women who throw themselves at them) with NONE of the risks.

Take a step back and you’ll see this is pretty much the human condition. Humans are terrified of failure, but at the same time want the opposite of failure. This has made us easy marks since the dawn of time.

Anybody that can convince us we can get the goods without the risks is going to make a lot of money (before they blow town!)

Problem is that’s just not possible. Just like every team is different, and every day is different, every girl is different.

And every girl is different from day to day. And so are you.

Creating a relationships is not like cooking dinner or fixing a squeaky door. It’s a lifelong process. One that involves exposing yourself to a lot of risk.

If you aren’t willing to accept and embrace risk, you’ll never get the good stuff.

The good news is that you’re not really risking anything. You aren’t going to go broke if you say the wrong thing. You aren’t going to get hit by a bolt of lighting if she laughs at your lame pick up line. Your heart isn’t going to stop if you lean in for the kiss and she gives you her cheek.

Failure is essential. It teaches you what DOESN’T work, so you can try what does.

The more you fail, the more you’ll succeed.

mindpersuasion.com