​I used to know this guy who was ULTRA excited.

Not about anything in particular, just about life itself.

He had a job selling cars, and even though he didn’t know so much about cars, he could sell them. Really, really well.

Once he told me a story about a minivan he sold. The only thing he knew about it was that it had 9 cupholders.

He kept referring to this over and over and over again, with EXTREME excitement. “It’s got a great engine, it’s super safe, cause it’s got all these airbags and stuff, and did I mention it’s got NINE cupholders? Everywhere you go, PARTY in the minivan, people!”

Maybe this guy had some genetic defect or something, or he had a super reserve of adrenalin somewhere most of us don’t. He was also a chain-smoking heavy drinker, so maybe he was always trying to overcompensate his hyperness.

When people sell stuff, it’s common to think you’ve always got to be so over the top all the time.

After all, most people are taught in order to sell, you’ve got to push push push on “features and benefits.”

I read this book once on linguistics, by Stephen Pinker (I’m a HUGE fan, he’s got a few TED talks).

He said that all language is persuasive. Meaning whenever we talk, we have SOME kind of outcome in mind, even if it’s to cheer up our friend, or get them to meet us down at the pub for a couple.

Dale Carnegie taught decades ago that the easiest way to get somebody to do something is to simply get them thinking it was their idea.

He also said that everybody is always wondering, “What’s in it for me?”

So when you first are going to say ANYTHING, first ask yourself, “How is the OTHER person going to benefit by what I say?”

Compare this to the strategy most people use:

“Me, me, me, me, and oh, by the way, me.”

Even if you don’t really know the person, you can kind of guess what they want, based on who they are, and what they are doing.

Like if you’re talking to somebody cute in the grocery story, just take a few seconds to come up with a reasonable assumption about THEIR model of the world before you open your yap.

Everybody wants validation and to be recognized for who they are.

If you do this FIRST, before you talk about what YOU want, you’ll be pretty amazed.

Then again, maybe you won’t. Maybe this is something you ALREADY know.

This is the outer game that makes everything EASY.

If you want to boost your INNER game, to make it even easier, check these out:

Mind Persuasion