One of the most powerful things you can do is increase your congruence.

This is one of those things that’s easy to talk about, but hard to measure or even define.

It basically comes down to how much of “you” is on board with your actions or words.

Like if you said something you really didn’t believe, most people would know.

One clear sign of incongruence is body language. We all know the signs. Crossed arms, crossed legs, not making eye contact.

If you’ve got kids, you can spot a lie a mile a way.

But a deeper incongruence is when we “think” we believe something, but we really don’t. At least not on all levels.

It’s like when we say something, we’re trying to convince ourselves just as much as everybody else.

However, when you DO develop a large amount of inner congruence, it’s like the gates of heaven open up.

People not only believe every word you say, but they agree with you, and will follow you to the ends of the earth.

Cult leaders are notorious for this kind of thing. They say and do the craziest stuff, that on paper would look absolutely ridiculous.

But when they say it, they are so congruent, and they believe it on ALL levels, it sounds like the most obvious and natural thing there is.

The truth about us humans is we are EASILY swayed by somebody who believes something with all their heart, REGARDLESS of what the content of the message is.

Throw in some social proof, and it’s literally impossible to resist.

Of course, like any other tool, this can be used for good, or for evil.

You can lead people to massive happiness and self-expression, or lead them off a cliff.

You can lead people to generate real and lasting change in their own lives, and the lives of all around them, or you could easily con them out of their life’s savings.

I’m sure you’ve seen examples of both.

Luckily, we all get a choice. A choice of not only which skills to learn, but how we decide to use them.

If you want to learn more, check this out:

Frame Control