Monthly Archives: September 2014

How To Sell Her Your Banana

Become More Attractive

Putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes is an incredibly effective way of becoming more persuasive.

This is true in sales, romance, and any kind of conversation where you’re trying to get your ideas across with little resistance.

The secret to all influence is taking your idea, and translating them so they are easily accepted by others, based on their own “model of the world.”

This includes their beliefs, their recent experience, and what they think is important.

For example, let’s say you were selling bananas. And you could sell them based on their nutritional value, or their taste, or their versatility. (Just go with it, OK?)

Now, if you came across somebody who was a health nut, and planned out all their meals based on specific nutritional information, it wouldn’t do you very good to try and sell them your bananas based on how delicious they were.

On the other hand, if you came across somebody who ONLY chose food based on taste, you’d be wasting your breath if you talked about all the vitamins and minerals in a banana.

Talking to girls is the same way. 

Now, I’m not saying to walk up to a girl and start selling her your banana!

However, instead of walking up and spitting some goofy lines WITHOUT first talking to her and seeing what she’s all about, like most guys do, take some time to get to know her.

Find out what’s important to her. Find out what spins her propellers.

The cool thing about this method is that if you’re talking to her about what she likes, what kinds of things turns her on (not like that!), what her dreams are for the future, something pretty cool will happen.

She’ll start to see YOU, through HER OWN filters of desire.

So if you hold off just a little bit, and turn on her own filters of desire BEFORE you start saying anything about you, you’ll have a MASSIVE ADVANTAGE.

Once her desires and filters are fired up, she’ll be much more likely to be attracted to you (and your banana, lol) when you DO get around to talking about yourself and your interests.

Especially when you inevitably find those things you’ve got in common.

The truth is that HOW you talk to her is much more important than WHAT you talk about.

Learn how to talk to her in that special way so she can’t help falling for you.

Develop Long Lasting Recognition

It’s been said that when we don’t care who gets credit, we can get a lot more done.

However, voluntarily giving up public recognition is a hard thing to do. General Napoleon (among others) knew his solders would fight with a lot more intensity if they knew there was a chance of being publicly recognized for their bravery.

If you’ve ever had a good idea, and somebody else got or took credit for it, it certainly stings.

However, there is short term “credit” or “recognition,” and there’s a longer term “energy.”

What’s this mean?

If somebody gets a good idea, and they take credit (deservedly or not) that recognition won’t usually last long. On the flip side of coming up a good idea is the concept of “what have you done for me lately.”

If you spend too much time worrying about getting credit, or recognition, people are going to start to notice.

Instead of thinking of you as the “idea person,” they’ll start to think of you as the “attention seeking person.”

On the other hand, if you’re the person who’s always coming with good ideas, and specifically letting others take the credit, you’ll be developing something MUCH more powerful.

A deep sense of appreciation and magnetism. People will start to think of YOU, in unconscious terms as somebody that’s just good to have around.

They’ll feel much better, much safer, and in much more capable hands when you’re there.

And since this will all be on an unconscious level, it will come across to them as a deep feeling of appreciation and gratitude that they just can’t put there fingers on.

So, how do you BECOME that idea person? Easy. Just base everything you discuss largely on THEIR criteria.

Since we always take actions and make decisions on our own criteria, when you start out by talking about THEIR criteria, without being obvious, you’ll seem like a breath of fresh air. 

Since you’re really using THEIR criteria to base your ideas on, you’ll just need to change up your communication style, just a bit.

Instead of showing up and overwhelming them with your ideas (like almost everybody else does), you’ll be covertly eliciting THEIR ideas, and handing them right back to them.

And they’ll think it’s (and YOU’RE) the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Easy Questions For Natural Attraction

Most guys spend a LOT of time trying to think of “what to say.”

In fact, this is a common excuse for NOT talking to her. 

“I was going to go and talk to her but I just didn’t know what to say.”

“I felt totally confident, but since I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t make a move.”

And other similar nonsense. I say “nonsense” because almost always, the real reason we don’t make a move is NOT the one we tell ourselves.

Sure, rejection is pretty terrifying. But you can not only insulate yourself from rejection, but  you can talk to her in a way that doesn’t require the perfect opener or pickup pattern.

First of all, in order to become rejection proof, you just structure your communication in a way that you can’t get rejected.

If you never ask or suggest anything, she can’t reject you. Sure, if you walk over and ask for the number within the first ten seconds, she can say “no,” in which case you’ve been rejected.

But if take ten minutes instead of ten seconds, you’ll get a LOT better response.

Just start talking to her about things she can’t say “no” to. Meaning don’t ask any yes or no questions about you, or anything you want her to do.

Talk to her about things she’s likely interested in. Fish around for similarities in interest between the two of you.

While doing so, pay close attention to her body language and facial expressions. It will tell you everything you need to know.

So much that if you wait for the right time to “ask” her anything, instead of spitting it out because you can’t wait, she’ll almost always say “yes.”

And not the kind of “yes” that she just says to get rid of you, but the “yes” that means she really, really wants to get to know you.

See, when you talk to her in the right way, and ask her the right questions, she’ll almost always “feel you” no matter who she is.

How To Blast Away Social Fears

Most of our fears are never realized.

Meaning we go through life with all kinds of things we are terrified of what might happen, but they never happen.

I remember once a long time ago, I made this HUGE mistake where I used to work. Based on the results of an experiment I was running (I worked in lab many years ago) the company made some big decisions.

Only I found out, after the money was spent, that I’d made a mistake, and the results were not even close to what I thought they were.

I was TERRIFIED of telling my boss. As soon as I did, he suggested we both talk to HIS boss, which was even scarier.

But something funny happened. I explained what happened, and she just said, “OK, so you’ve got something in place now so this won’t happen again?” To which I said of course. She said, “OK,” and started talking about something else.

I thought I was going to be fired, or worse, but the reality was much more plain.

No matter WHAT you’re afraid of, it won’t likely happen, even if you tried.

I used to play this game in college with my buddies. I would stand at a strategic location at some party, and my friend would whisper the most obscene and corny pick up lines ever, and I’d spit them out at the first girl who walked by.

At first, I was pretty sure I was going to get slapped, or arrested. But most of the time, they just giggled, and kept on walking.

No matter WHAT your fears are, if you take some small, simple steps forward, you’ll likely be very surprised.

Especially if your fears involve interacting with others.

But consider this. EVERYBODY has pretty much the same fears when it comes to interacting with others.

Rejection. Being told we’re idiots, or silly. Embarrassment.

Which is why when YOU make the first move, they’ll almost always open you with open arms.

Doesn’t matter if you’re making friends, looking for new clients, or just enjoying people.

To make things even easier, when you start off talking about THEM instead of throwing your ideas in their face (like most people do) they’ll be even more glad to meet you.

How To Make Day Game Easy

Most guys are terrified of rejection from girls.

If she says “no,” to whatever you’re suggesting, there’s not much that feels worse. Especially if it happens in front of your friends or her friends.

This is one of the main reasons guys like to hunt in packs. It lessens the sting of rejection to a considerable degree.

But here’s something to consider. It takes a lot of time and planning to get together a group of guys to go “hunting.” And anyplace a group of guys goes to pick up girls, all the girls will KNOW they are there to hit on them.

And if you take some time to inventory all the happy couples in your life, they didn’t likely meet at some meet market.

They met through friends, or at somebody’s wedding, or sitting next to each other in class.

Places where people usually DON’T go to pick up.

Meaning when you think of that special girl out there, whoever she is, and wherever she is, you won’t likely meet her in some meet market, surrounded by your buddies.

In fact, when you DO meet that special girl, there’s a high probability that she’ll be alone, or you’ll be alone.

And unless you feel confident enough to walk up and start talking to her (in NON pick up language), it’s not going to happen.

Sure, you can wait for somebody to introduce you to somebody, or meet people through social circles, but by developing the confidence to just walk up and start talking to people, you’ll have LOT more options, and chances, and you’ll meet that special girl a LOT sooner.

Now, back to that dreaded thought of “rejection” that usually keeps guys safely on the sidelines.

It’s ONLY possible to “get rejected” if you actually suggest something that she can say “no” to.

If you DON’T do that, you can’t get rejected.

Now, it is possible of for you to walk up to her, and have her shut you down completely before you even open your mouth, but if you shower regularly and you don’t have your ding-dong hanging out of your pants, that’s not very likely.

But there IS a way talk to her that is literally rejection proof, so you’ll be able to “feel each other out” and see if you’re both ready to take the next step.

No risk, no worries, no rejection.

And no matter WHAT happens, you’ll BOTH feel much better after the interaction.

Easily Eliminate Rejection

The fear of rejection is incredibly common, and incredibly debilitating.

It always stems from childhood, around the time you became a pain in the you-know-what.

If you’ve got kids, you know what I mean. When they’re young and cute, and can barley walk and talk, any step forward is a literal miracle.

However, once kids can move completely on their own, they stop being little bundles of happiness and become a stress inducing source of terror. What if somebody takes them? What if they get hurt? What if they run away and I can’t find them?

So we all go through a transition when the adults (or gods as we think of them at the time) stop smiling at everything we do, and start yelling at us, or looking at us with those angry faces.

Since we still think they are gods, the only conclusion we can make is that we did something wrong.

The only problem is we NEVER really have any idea what is “right” and what is “wrong.”

All we know is sometimes they smile, and sometimes they get angry.

Here we are as adults, and we still have that deep fear. We want to express ourselves, we want to take action, but part of us isn’t sure what’s going to happen. Maybe they’ll smile, maybe they won’t.

The trick is how you present yourself to others. If you present yourself as something that can be accepted or rejected, then you may get rejected.

For example, consider this common question, as guys ask girls on dates:

“Will you have dinner with me?”

She can say “yes,” she can say, “no.”

One is good, the other is bad. She says “yes,” it’s 100% success. She says “no” it’s 100% failure.

One simple shift in how you “ask” can make all the difference.

A common strategy is to say something like this:

“I’m going to Roberto’s for dinner tomorrow night. You can join me if you like.”

If she says “no,” it’s only about a 50% failure, 50% success, since you’re going anyway.

If she says “yes,” then it’s a 100% success.

But why even let them say “no?”

There’s a way to communicate with others so they wouldn’t even dream of saying “no.” Because you won’t be talking about  you, or your ideas, you’ll be talking about them.

The things they’re interested in. The things that fire up their imagination.

Then later on, (if you want), after you’ve built up a huge bubble of positive energy around them (a filter through which they’ll now see you) you talk about anything you’d like.

And because they’ll now start seeing YOUR ideas through THEIR desires, they’ll almost always go along with them.

Whatever they are.

The Male Advantage

If you want to get a girl attracted to you, you’ve got to talk to her.

This is GREAT NEWS.

Why?

Guys are attracted to girls to a very LARGE degree, by looks. Meaning if a really hot girl walks into a coffee shop, and she’s taken the time to create an even better appearance with her clothes, jewelry and makeup, she really doesn’t have to do much else to create attraction.

Seriously, imagine your type of woman. Looking just the way you like. She walks into a coffee shop, walks over, and sits down right across from you. All she does is smile that sexy smile, and look at you.

If you’re like most guys, you’ve already fallen in love with her by this time. You’re not really concerned with her personality, or her dreams or what she does for a living. In fact, for most guys, whatever these things are, (her personality stuff) you’d be quick to agree that it’s AMAZING, whatever it is.

On the other hand, think of a girl who repulses you. (Don’t worry, this is just a mind experiment, we’re not out to slam anybody or hurt anybody’s feelings.) Imagine THAT girl came over and sat down, looking at you the same way. 

You probably couldn’t get out of there quick enough, no matter WHAT she said.(Unless it was something involving millions of free dollars).

Guys on the other hand, don’t have this power. Meaning most girls won’t fall in love with a guy JUST based on looks. Lust, yea, Eye candy, yea. But most girls, if they DO see some eye candy model, generally put them into a “category.”  This “category” is most definitely NOT boyfriend category.

Now, I’m going to assume that you’re not some kind of magazine model eye candy guy.

Which means that you have INCREDLBE POWER with ONLY your language.

The attraction that girls feel is MUCH MORE determined by things like your personality, and how YOU can make her FEEL with your conversational skills.

And lucky for us guys, conversational skills can simply get better and better. The more you learn, the more attractive you’ll become, and the LESS things like looks, money, social status, will matter.

The BOTTOM LINE when it comes to attraction is how well you can conversationally create those feelings in her.

Now, most guys THINK they can ONLY create those feelings if they’re rich, or famous, or some other nonsense.

But now you know the secret.

Misunderstood Secrets of the Law of Attraction 

Many people have had not so great results with the Law of Attraction.

Meaning they do the  meditations, do the visualizations, and wonder why it isn’t working.

Don’t get me wrong, the Law of Attraction is a powerful universal force, but it’s most often misunderstood.

Firstly, it’s a metaphor for how things work. We humans have brains that are hard wired to only understand the most simple things. Anything beyond a simple “cause and effect” relationship between objects is beyond our comprehension.

Think of chess masters. They need to think several moves ahead, meaning they need to be able to predict the potential movements of each of their movements in the future. Say they have three potential moves. Each one of these three potential moves can be met by three from the opponent. That’s NINE potential changes in the chess board from three moves.

Two moves out, and he’s got to imagine 27 moves. Three moves out, and he’s got to imagine 81 moves. At only three moves out, he’s stretching the limits of conscious thought.

This is in a system (chess) where the moves are very well defined, and constricted.

In real life, there’s about a billion more outcomes from each move. Even if we tried to think two or three moves ahead, it’s WAY beyond our conscious comprehension.

This is the first stumbling block to the Law of Attraction. We think we need to “understand” how it’s going to work.

Clearly, unless you’re doing something simple like buying an ice cream cone, there’s NECESSARILY going to be about a BILLION potential things between where you are and where you want to be.

So TRUSTING  your unconscious is crucial. Expecting immediate and easy to understand results will only make you frustrated.

The second thing people have trouble understanding is this thing called “The Universe.”

As the LOA goes, if you “put out” a certain kind of energy, you’ll “get back” like energy.

But what exactly IS “The Universe?”

All the stars and planets out there spinning around? Some kind of metaphysical dust that nobody can see?

Nope.

“The Universe,” as it’s metaphorically used in the LOA, is always and only OTHER PEOPLE.

Everything that exists that’s NOT HERE NATURALLY ( I mean things other than trees or rocks or dirt) was made by OTHER PEOPLE.

And chances are, whatever it is you want, is going to made by OTHER PEOPLE.

Or at the very least, OTHER PEOPLE are going to be involved.

And since EVERY SINGLE PERSON who ever lived has something called “Free Will,” in order to get the cooperation of OTHER PEOPLE,  you’re going to need to talk to them in a way that will make them WANT to help you GET WHAT YOU WANT.

How To Get Her To Open To You

Girls are easy to talk to when you know the secret.

Most guys see girls as the holders of some kind of magical power, which they and they alone decide who to give it to.

Now, this is an easy mindset to get into, especially if it’s been a while since you got some genuine affection from a lady.

When operating from the “scarcity mindset,” everything is more difficult, no matter WHAT you’re trying to get.

But when you look at girls through the right frame, it’s actually pretty easy.

There’s a certain way to talk to them, and a certain way to measure how well you’re doing.

Both are pretty easy and straightforward to learn. 

Next time you’re out and about, just check out all the “guy-girl” interactions you see. Forget about listening in the conversation, and you’ll be able to tell just by the body language who’s into whom.

Meaning if the girl is facing the guy, has her arms and legs uncrossed, is looking at him more than half the time, and has an open expression on her face, AND she’s smiling easy, she’s literally imagining him taking her somewhere private to do the grownup.

However, if she’s closed off, not really looking at him, and her face doesn’t have that “glow,” then she’s either getting ready to bolt (if they’ve just met) or they’re having a huge fight and the poor guy isn’t going to be getting any from her any time soon (if they’re a couple).

This is EASY to see if you’re an objective observer, but most guys completely miss out when their in the mix.

But simply paying attention to her, as if you were a third party observer, while talking to her, is one of the most crucial skills to have.

In reality, if this were the ONLY skill you knew, you’d be much better than most guys,

See, when you’ve got an accurate feedback mechanism, you really can’t fail. All you’ve got to do is just literally TRY ANYTHING, and see how it works. If it DOES work, just do more. If it DOESN’T work, just do less.

But when you combine some basic observational skills with some powerful language technology, you’ll have the BEST of both worlds.

You can read her body language, AND talk to her in a way so her mind, body and spirit will literally AND figuratively open up.

To YOU.

How To Float Through Life Without Resistance

People who take the time to improve their skills generally do much better in life than those who don’t.

Sure, some people get lucky, and somehow stumble their way to love or riches, but for the most part, people who have achieved greatness in their lives do so simply because they made a decision to do so.

And they stuck with it, no matter what. There’s all kinds of stories and anecdotes, most of which you’ve likely heard, that support this. Every successful business has three or four failures behind it, you’ve gotta get through ten “no’s” before you get to that all important, “yes,” etc.

The idea of “keeping your eye on the prize” has been around for a long, long time. The reason is that this statement is true (keep your eyes on the prize) both literally and metaphorically.

If you’re running a race, for example, you’d be much better of starting directly at the finish line that your competitors.

If you’ve got a big goal in life, it’s MUCH easier if you focus on that big fat juicy goal than all the little problems that WILL come up from time to time.

If you look at those tiny problems in light of the massive accomplishment your life is becoming, they’ll be small blips. But if you lose sight of your purpose, and stare at those little bumps in the road, they’ll likely morph into giant mountains of doom.

Kind of like when I went parachuting for the first time. The guy told me, right before I jumped out, “Don’t look down!” But he also described WHY I shouldn’t look down. 

Not because it was scary or anything, but he said that when people tend to look down, they “fixate” on something down below, and miss the wonderful experience of just “floating” in mid-air, which is what it feels like when you reach “terminal velocity.”

And that “floating” feeling something that I completely didn’t expect. Nothing I’ve ever experienced comes close.

Well, almost nothing. The truth is that we all tend to move through life and “forget” about who we are and who’s around us.

The only thing that compares to that wonderful “floating” feeling (besides sex, anyway) is when you get into a conversation with somebody, and it’s just a free flowing exchange of wonderful ideas, each one building up the last, into a self sustaining loop of wonderful creativity and discovery.

Most people rarely experience this, but with the right language technology, you can literally generate that feeling at will.