Monthly Archives: December 2014

How To Turn Her On

Talk Your Way Into Her Heart

How To Talk Girls Into Attraction

Many decades ago, Dale Carnegie taught the easiest way to talk to people is to talk about the thing that we all love talking about.

Ourselves.

So if you’re wanting to walk up and talk to pretty girls, in a way that will get them REALLY interested in you, this is a very useful bit of information.

Of course, HOW you do this will impact how well it works.

If you walk up to some gorgeous girl and say, “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”

You won’t get very far. One because she either hears this all the time, or she KNOWS this since everywhere she goes guys are staring at her with those unmistakable eyes of lust.

So you’re not really telling her anything new, and you’re not really showing any insight to who she is.

Believe it or not, super gorgeous girls would really like guys to like them for something OTHER than their looks.

How do we know this?

Because they talk. If gorgeous girls WERE just content to show up and be beautiful, they would never say anything. They’d just sit there and be happy to have guys stare at their boobs (or whatever).

But since they actually open their mouths, and actual words come out that describe the actual ideas in their heads, they would actually like somebody to take an interest in something BESIDES their boobs.

Hang on, we’re just getting started.

You can’t ask her opinion on something, and then tell her how awesome she is for having that opinion.

That’s too easy. She doesn’t want to be surrounded by spineless yes men.

You’ve got to do a little bit more work.

So, what do you talk about? Talk about her plans, her dreams, her ideas about complicated things (things YOU think are complicated, not things you think she thinks are complicated).

Get her to expand on that. See past her boobs and her surface structure language.

Find things deep beneath the surface that is really worth talking about.

Think of the conversation as a treasure hunt. Look for complicated ideas, opinions, plans and dreams way beneath the surface that you can find some overlap with your own deep structure.

That’s that DEEP connection that everybody is looking for.

But here’s the bad news. Most people don’t have much below the surface. Most people (guys and girls) are really filled with useless fluff.

This means you’ll need to talk to a lot of goofs before you find somebody worth your time.

But this realization in and of itself will have a pretty cool side effect.

When you look out into a sea of beautiful girls, you’ll realize that most of them really WON’T be worth your time. You’ll see it as a sorting process, rather than a horribly scary field of unending rejection land mines.

Which will make it much easier to talk to, qualify and more importantly, DISQUALIFY gorgeous girls.

Since this is something most guys know NOTHING about, you will have a HUGE advantage, and will be much, much more attractive.

This will help:

Frame Control

Silly Card Games Of Life

Increase Your Odds

How Project Massive Power

There’s this goofy “poker” game that you might know about.

Everybody takes one card, and holds it to their head, away from them.

Nobody knows what card they have, but they can tell which card everybody else has.

Other than that, it plays out like regular poker. You bet, raise, etc, and whoever has the highest card collects the money.

But unlike normal poker, where you see your own cards, and have to rely only on body language to gauge the strength of the other players’ cards, you have to guess what your own card is by the body language and facial expressions of the others.

For example, if they look at your card, and burst out laughing, it’s probably a good idea to fold, because you probably have a low card.

On the other hand, if they all look at your card and then fold, it means you’ve got a pretty high card.

This is the EXACT process humans go through when put together in a group setting when the people DON’T know each other.

They quickly look around, and see how “strong” the other people are.

And just like that poker game, we aren’t usually very good judges of our own strength, but we’re VERY good at sniffing out the strengths of others.

Most of us UNDERESTIMATE our own strengths. Which is why we can be surprised when people come to us for guidance or ask us for our opinions.

Unless you’ve wanted to be a world class politician since you were a kid, you probably don’t go into situations looking to take charge.

The problem is, neither do most other people.

That card game mentioned above gets pretty interesting when everybody has a medium strength card. Nobody knows whose is higher, and nobody knows whose is lower. People spend a lot of time looking at the other cards, and try to find their place among them.

This is the same in groups. Most people sit around, waiting for somebody else to take charge.

Why do that?

Why not take charge? Why not step up and help everybody out?

After all, you’re not stepping on anybody’s toes. You’re not taking something from them. You are actually doing what they WANT you to do.

Most people are terrified to lead. Most people are happy to be followers.

Nothing wrong with that. Leading can create stress, anxiety, and you’ve got to make tough decisions that might not always work out.

But the benefits are extraordinary. Genuine respect, admiration, and support.

Luckily, being a leader in any group starts with a simple decision.

Are you ready?

Learn more:

Frame Control

Improve Your Life Game

Improve Your Life, Not Your Game

Improve Yourself, Not Your Game

One of the easiest traps to fall into is thinking that women are the enemy.

Even when guys talk about picking up girls, they act as if they need some kind of ultra ninja secret weapon techniques to keep her off balance, or use all kinds of social proof, and get her thinking in a certain way.

Think about it from a sales standpoint.

Think about a product you really like. One you buy over and over again. Or maybe a brand. For me, whenever I buy sneakers, either for jogging or walking, I always get New Balance. I bought my first pair in high school when I ran a marathon, and they served me well. They’ve been my go-to brand ever since.

So, what’s your brand or product? Got it?

Now, think of the amount of thought that goes into it. You go into a store, ask the clerk where it is, and you get it.

Now, think of something you bought because of a whole bunch of hype. Something that maybe had some really slick advertisement on TV. Maybe a smooth talking salesperson helped you “decide.”

Then you when you started to actually USE the product, you found it wasn’t all that. So when you needed to buy something similar again, you gave that particular product a pass.

When girls think about the guys, and the kind of guys they want in their lives, they think the same way.

Sure, they can be conned (sometimes pretty easily) buy smooth talking “salesman” who knows all the angles, but when they get it home and see what it’s really made of, they start to have second thoughts.

Now, if you’re a guy, seeing this from a guy’s perspective, you may not see it this way.

You may think she was super sweet and into you at the bar, but then she “turned” on you. You may say things like “women aren’t loyal,” or “woman always play you,” or “women always use you,” or something similar.

This is ALWAYS going to happen if you come on strong early on with “game” and then later show her your “true self.”

Now, I know that when guys hear, “be yourself” they think it’s the lamest idea in the world, but it does keep you honest.

If you don’t like the way you are, measured by the quality of the women you attract, putting on a fake “game face” is only going to be a short term solution.

Why not simply improve the “real you”?

Why not continuously learn new social skills and language skills that you use with everybody, all the time?

Why not develop your self-confidence and create a REAL purpose for your life that is independent from women?

I know, this is a lot of work. But so is putting on a fake “game face” and getting rejected later.

Why not put in the work on the “real you” so the relationships with quality women just happen naturally, and pretty much take care of themselves?

This will help:

Frame Control

How Do You See The World?

Stop Playing The Victim Card

Stop Playing The Victim Card

It’s easy to feel like a victim.

In fact, it’s so easy that everybody does it.

Only when we do it ourselves, we don’t feel like we’re playing the victim card.

It’s one of those things that’s really easy to spot in others, but very hard to see in ourselves.

Kind of like being in a dysfunctional relationship vs. having a friend in a dysfunctional relationship.

From the outside in, it’s pretty obvious to see that it’s not going to end well.

But from the inside out, it feels like we just need to fix that one “thing” and everything will be swell.

Here’s a quick self-check to see if you’re playing the victim card:

Think of something you want, right now, but have some trouble getting.

Got it?

Now, why don’t you have it?

If you come up with ANY reason OTHER than your own behaviors, you’re playing the victim card.

Harsh, I know. Especially when it REALLY IS something “out there” that’s holding you back.

But even when that’s true, pointing the finger will NEVER do you any good.

None of the superstars of history, the great artists, inventors, creators, builders ever got where they did by pointing their fingers long enough and hard enough.

They all accepted where they were, what they had, and did something with it.

Clearly, some people have a head start. Some a HUGE one. Great genes, a great bank account, a nice house from which to operate and learn about the world as they grow up.

But so what? 

Plenty of people started with absolutely NOTHING. No money, no family, not even native English skills, and they built fortunes. Empires. Huge, multi-generational businesses.

Well, that’s not really true. They DID have something.

Vision. Belief. Resilience.

That’s all you really need.

When you look out into the world, what do you see? A harsh environment that will slap you down and prove your limitations?

Or a huge collection of untapped opportunities upon which to operate?

It all starts on the inside. 

When you play the victim card, you might get some help, but that’s only to get you to be quiet and go away.

But when you play the HERO card, when you establish your true place on this Earth, the opposite will happen.

People will WANT to help you. To follow you. To just be around you.

Are you ready?

Learn how:

Frame Control

How To Practice Seduction

They Ain't Gonna Play Themselves!

Daily Practice Is Crucial For Any Skill

If you practiced picking up girls like some guys practice playing the piano, you’d be a virtuoso in no time.

What do I mean?

Think about the piano. First you learn the C chord. Then you learn a few arpeggios. Then you practice them (which is REALLY boring) until you can play any combination without much conscious thought.

Say this takes a couple weeks, 30 minutes a day. Then you move on to the G chord, then the F chord, then A, etc.

Each time, getting a little bit more efficient. In say, six months time, you can look at a piece of music, know immediately what chord it’s in, and play it through the first time.

Thirty minutes a day of boring practice, and six months or so later, you can play some pretty decent music. Even make some. Combine your new music skills with some software instruments, and there’s really nothing you can’t do.

Now, compare this to picking up girls. Most guys NEVER practice. Sure, they go out a lot and talk to girls, get their numbers, go on dates, create relationships, but it’s NEVER practice. It’s ALWAYS real.

Imagine if you ONLY practiced the piano while giving a recital in front of a bunch of people you’d never met.

You’d ALWAYS be nervous, and you’d NEVER get better.

Any time you even THOUGHT of playing the piano, you’d break out into a cold sweat. You may even spend thousands of dollars on seminars to learn the “one secret trick” that allows you to play the piano without EVER needing to practice.

So, how do you PRACTICE picking up girls?  The SAME way you practice the piano.

Spend the first week ONLY practicing eye contact. Nothing else.

Then move on to saying “hi.” 

Make sure you understand which categories girls are in. (In your mind). Practice or real.

This will shoot your game to the upper echelons of natural player mode faster than anything else.

Except maybe the skills you’ll learn here:

Frame Control

Who Does Your Life Belong To?

Get Out Of The Carriage!

Grow Up!

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is take responsibility.

One of the easiest things to do is overly depend on others, blame others, or see yourself as less than adequate.

You want something, something big. But we all have a ready made list of excuses why we don’t have it.

Maybe we think our education isn’t enough. Maybe we think we don’t have the right connections. Maybe we think there’s some hidden group of conspirators keeping us from the goods.

What makes it even worse is many times, those are all correct.

After all, having a good education, plenty of connections and a silver spoon certainly doesn’t hurt.

But the moment you blame others for your lack, in any capacity, you put yourself in a tough spot.

Because while it does feel good to shrug off responsibility, it also severely limits what you can accomplish.

If you want something, and can’t get it due to others, it doesn’t feel so bad. I mean, if you COULD get it, you would right? But since “those people” are keeping you down, why bother?

The problem with shifting blame (even when it’s factually accurate) is makes you DEPENDENT on the world. You have to wait for “them” to give you what you want. What you need. What you desire.

While it does feel good to hold that fantasy in mind, that you’ll be given stuff for free, it’s not the best strategy for success.

Because pretty much everybody else on planet earth has the same exact game plan.

On the other hand, taking responsibility is scary. Risky. Prone with failure after failure.

But the upside potential is HUGE.

Instead of waiting to be “given” free stuff, you’ll be creating MUCH BETTER stuff.

Life is a long string of trial and error experiences. If you are prone to blame others, you’ll see each one as PROOF that “they” are holding you down.

On the other hand, if you see each one as a learning experience, AND a step closer to whatever you want, you’ll see those very same events as PROOF that you are DESTINED for greatness.

Same exact events, two different perspectives.

It all depends on what you CHOOSE to believe.

Believe about yourself, believe about your skills, and believe about your purpose in life.

Do you believe you are a victim, and can ONLY get good stuff if “the universe” decides to give it to you?

Or are you in charge of your brain, your actions, and your life? And see the world as one big canvas upon which to paint your masterpiece?

One way’s easy. So easy that EVERYBODY can do it.

Which one do you want?

Get Yours:

Mind Tricks To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Give Her An Opportunity, Don't Ask For Her To Accept You

Ancient Secrets For Modern Seduction

In ancient societies, there were two ways to go to war with neighboring tribes.

One was the old fashioned way, where you show up with a bunch of guys and clubs and start swinging.

Even if you “win” this is pretty dangerous. You can lose a lot of good guys this way. That’s why  most ancient tribes, and even certain primates, rarely have a full on battle. 

They usually have “raiding parties” where they swoop in while everybody is sleeping, bash a few guys, take a bunch of stuff, and then leave before anybody knows what’s up.

In other ancient societies, they have a much more advanced form of warfare. One tribe will show up to another tribe with a bunch of gifts.

It’s kind of rude to not accept a bunch of gifts, since it usually leads to old school fighting. So the receiving tribe is pretty much forced to accept the gifts.

Which puts them on a lower standing from a social status position. When you show up and DEMAND gifts, that’s one thing. But when you show up unexpected and GIVE gifts, it’s much more powerful.

We humans do this all the time. We do an unasked for “favor,” and then act like they are in our debt. You do this, and this is done to you.

But there’s a pretty sneaky way you can use this to destroy any approach anxiety.

How?

Just see yourself as giving her the opportunity to get to know you. Now, this ONLY works on getting rid of that initial approach anxiety. It’s not a sure fire pick up method, and you STILL have to talk to her in a way that fires up her emotions.

But if you are too nervous to approach her, then none of that will matter anyway.

Most guys, when they approach, act like they are asking for something. Meaning a guy walks up to a girl, and they think they can get “rejected.”

Even thinking that “rejection” is even possible presumes that she’s got more power than you. She has the power to accept you, and she has the power to reject you.

But this feeling will lessen considerably when you imagine you’re giving her an opportunity.

Which you are. Again, you are NOT imagining that you’re God’s gift to women, or expecting anything from her.

But if you just see it from an objective standpoint, a guy talking to a girl, with BOTH of them thinking that maybe it will turn into something more, it will be a lot easier.

Think about it from her perspective. Unless you are going to walk over with your ding-dong in your hand, or if you smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster, she’s not going to be put off if you’re just a normal guy.

Even if nothing happens, she’s going to be GLAD that you approached her. She’s going to feel GOOD for having been approached.

So ditch the “accept-reject” continuum. Think if it as giving her the gift of opportunity.

To make it even easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Do You Have Trouble Speaking Up?

Speak With Confidence

Let Loose Your Brilliance

A common fear or anxiety is speaking up with an idea.

You’ve got this great idea, but when it comes time to express it, it doesn’t always come out the way you’d imagined.

Maybe you imagined your friends or that special someone responding a certain way. Positive, open, glad. But then when you start to deliver your message, the result is less than you’d hoped.

The tricky thing about comparing our expectations of reality to reality itself is that our brains are MUCH faster than the way things really play out.

It only takes a fraction of a second to imagine a good outcome. But once you start talking, and you feel all eyes are upon you, it can seem like forever. It doesn’t take long for that little voice inside to say something like, “See what happens when you open your big mouth?”

But here’s the thing. Most of the time, during the “unfolding of reality,” when all those eyes are upon you, they’re not really judging you or rejecting you. They’re just processing your message. They’re taking whatever you’re saying, and comparing it to whatever their experience is.

Even if the BEST case scenario happens (when they realize your idea is FANTASTIC), it won’t happen immediately. They’ll STILL have to digest it, think about it, compare it to their own ideas on the subject, BEFORE they realize what a good idea it is.

If you’re the slightest bit unsure of yourself, the time between the start of your message, and when they finally accept and acknowledge it will seem like a long, long time.

And whenever we’re in a situation like that, our uncertainties tend to EXPLODE in our brains, making huge mountains out of tiny molehills.

The truth is that most people (including YOU!) have some good ideas. Great ideas. Fantastic ideas.

It’s only that when we deliver them, we are less than confident.

And here’s something REALLY important to understand. If you ever DO get rejected (which happens to everybody all the time) they aren’t rejecting your idea, or even you. They’re rejecting your DELIVERY.

Which is really your own INTERPRETATION of your own idea, in the face of imagined scrutiny.

The first clue people look to whenever you speak is not the content of your message. It’s how you deliver it. It’s your confidence, your facial expressions, your body language and your voice tone.

The secret is that if YOU believe your idea or suggestion is valid and true, and you deliver it like it is, everybody else will jump right on board without a second thought.

Learn How:

Frame Control

How To Overcome Her Tests And Increase Attraction

Secrets Of Being A Verbal Ninja

Verbal Ninja Skills Are Crucial

One of the most powerful skills you can have is verbal flexibility.

Any goof can memorize a bunch of pick up lines and patterns. But a true natural will take ANYTHING she gives him, and can flip it around to mean pretty much anything else.

Imagine a fighter who only knows one punch, or a football team who only knows how to run up the middle.

They run into any opponent that can defeat that one move, and they’re done.

On the other hand, any team that can easily adjust their offense based on the defense of their opponent will win every game they plan.

Of course, this is a HORRIBLE metaphor for meeting girls. 

Why?

In sports, both teams can’t win. One team can ONLY win if the make the other team lose.

This absolutely the wrong attitude to have when meeting girls.

Unless you’re the type of guy who sneaks up behind girls and starts talking to them completely unexpectedly, she WANTS you to succeed.

If she’s NOT giving you obvious signs she wants you to go away, she WANTS you to keep going. She WANTS you to seduce her. She WANTS you to bang her silly.

Now, not the way you think. She doesn’t really know you yet. But she HOPES that you are the guy she’s been looking for, who will know how to spin all her propellers.

But in order to figure out if you’re THAT guy or not, she needs to TEST you.

Most guys are terrified of this.

You should absolutely WELCOME tests.

Why?

There are two ways for a girl to get to know a guy enough to know she wants to slip in between the sheets.

One is to go on a several dates, see him operate in various situations, see how he interacts with all levels of society, see how he handles himself under pressure.

This is pretty much the whole reason for the dating process. Most guys know right off the bat if they like a girl, since our criteria are pretty much based on her physical appearance.

But girls based their attraction on behavior. 

Now, this is all unconscious. It’s not like they have a spreadsheet with a bunch of qualities they tick off every time they finish a date.

But they need to interact with a guy for a while before they KNOW they are attracted.

UNLESS, of course, they throw out some tests.

Most guys assume that tests mean she’s mean, or wants to hurt you, or is trying to chase you away.

But in reality, when she tests you, her cave girl brain is trying to ACCELERATE the attraction process.

She wants you to pass, so she can be attracted to you.

How do you pass? 

Have the verbal flexibility and sense of humor to see they are no big deal.

Like sparring with a five year old. They are trying to hit you in the nuts. But you just playfully knock their punches away, and have fun while doing it.

See tests the same way. With a solid sense of self, some strong frame control and verbal flexibility, her tests will be a welcome acceleration to your bedroom.

Learn More:

Frame Control

How To Generate Reverse Rapport

Get People To Qualify Themselves To You

Get Them Coming To You

If you know anything about persuasion, you know rapport is crucial.

Without rapport,  you can’t do much. 

I know that you’ve heard this over and over and over again, but despite how widespread the idea of rapport is, few people practice it.

Why is this?

For one, it’s one of those things where we say to ourselves, “Oh, THAT? I already know about THAT!”

Another is that it IS pretty simple. It’s not like learning some of the other advanced stuff. It only takes a few minutes, literally, to fully understand it.

But maybe the biggest reason many people don’t practice it is because it’s easy to forget.

Especially when you get into a conversation with somebody where the outcome is pretty important.

Which in and of itself, presents a paradox.

On the one hand, when you’re with your friends and family, the outcome of any conversation isn’t usually that crucial. But that’s where you have the most rapport, built right in.

On the other hand, when you’re trying to get a phone number, or close a sale, or talk about something very important, rapport usually isn’t built in. 

Which means you’ve got to take some time and build it.

But most of the time, we’re so nervous that we simply forget. Forget to set it, and forget to check it.

Which means most people are done before they start.

Whenever we’re talking about anything regarding sales or relationship creating, we usually refer to it as a “numbers game.”

Talk to enough people, and you get what you want. Simple in theory, but often times very difficult in practice.

Even if ten percent of the people you talk to fall in love with you and your idea, that means nine out of ten will not only NOT be in rapport, but they’ll be sending you covert signals of “get the heck away from me!”

I don’t care who you are, but this doesn’t feel good to ANYBODY.

Now, on the one hand, you could FORCE yourself to build rapport. Force yourself to match their body language, rate of speech etc. 

Now, this will significantly increase your success. Maybe even a lot. But you’ll still be talking to a lot of people that want nothing to do with you.

What if there were a better way? A way to project an image where people would WANT to be in rapport with you?

Where all you’d have to do is simply show up, and the work is already done?

Instead of walking up to strangers who are thinking, “Who IS this guy…” they’ll be thinking “Wow! She picked ME!”

Instead of imposing your world on others, they’ll be pre-qualifying themselves to you.

How do you do this?

Here’s How:

Frame Control