Monthly Archives: January 2015

Two Crucial Aspects Of Life

Inner Game Is Key To Everything

Inner Game vs. Outer Game

There’s always two aspects to everything.

Of course, many things  have many variables, all interdependent, and many that are way beyond conscious comprehension.

But for most things, they can be broke down into a couple of broad categories.

Like movies. Guy movies (action, aliens, horror, zombies) vs. girl movies (romance, drama, etc.)

Or if you’re talking about booze, there’s beer and wine, and then the hard stuff.

If you’re making a cake, there’s the baking part, and then the decorating part.

In music there’s tension, and release.

Human accomplishment is something that is both incredibly complicated, and also incredibly simple, based on how you look at it.

Take making more money, for example. On the outside, there’s a virtual limitless amount of skills you can learn, relationships you can build, products you can help create, sell and otherwise bring to the market.

On the inside, there’s the simple belief that no matter what happens, you’ll succeed.

Outside is filled with endless and ever changing variables.

Inside is either the worry of, “I don’t know if this will work..” vs. the thought of “Yep. I got this. No matter what.”

Once the inside is taken care of, the outside takes care of itself.

This is true no matter what field you look in. Sports, money, romance, business, building your own cult, anything.

The most fundamental component that ALL successful people have is the raw belief that they’ll be successful.

BEFORE they become successful.

Before Bill Gates became a multi-kajillionaire, he believed he could.

Before Alexander conquered much of the known world, he believed that he could.

Before you succeed at anything, you must believe that you will.

And once you believe you wil, you will.

So why limit yourself?

Why not set HUGE goals, HUGE dreams, HUGE plans for your life?

Choose whatever you want, and then set the belief.

Because once that belief is set on the inside, all that stuff on the outside will be easy.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety By Becoming The Sorter

They Pass Your Tests - Not The Other Way Around

See Beneath The Surface

Most guys are incredibly nervous when they approach girls. In fact, it can take years of practice to fully get over this.

And even guys who DO get over this, once they’re off the market for a while, their skills will go back to zero.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly tried the market, you may have felt WAY out of your league.

Why is this?

One of the reasons is all of the assumptions that guys make about girls. Since guys are hard wired to be attracted primarily to looks, we assume that if she’s cute, then every other part of her is good also.

Which means when we walk over there, we assume that SHE already passes our “tests” and it’s completely up to us to pass her tests.

This is enough to give ANYBODY the jitters, no matter WHAT it is your doing.

Luckily, the part about her looks being “good enough” is absolutely false.

And here’s a way to prove it to yourself, AND get over your approach anxiety faster than you ever could just by pushing through them.

This will take some time, but you’ll be gaining an EXTRAORDINARY amount of experience, AND decreasing your levels of anxiety significantly.

Here’s what you do.

First, come up with some deal breakers. Either pure red flags, (according to you, nobody else) or things you’d rather she didn’t have.

This must be personality traits, habits, beliefs, things that will take a little bit of conversation to get to.

Smoking, a certain religion or political affiliation, cat person (or dog person) anything that you don’t imagine your “Dream Girl” of having.

Then, simply talk to girls LONG ENOUGH to disqualify them. Don’t get ANY numbers.

After you go through ten or twenty girls, you’ll have a sudden burst of realization.

That there’s MUCH more to girls than just their looks.

And that will absolutely DESTROY any feelings of “she’s perfect and I must qualify myself to her.”

ALL without getting any rejection.

Now, it’s important to have a friendly attitude while doing this. Don’t get angry, don’t put them down (out loud or in your mind). Just talk to them long enough until you get a red flag.

Then simply disqualify them IN YOUR MIND, politely end the conversation, and walk away.

Once you leave the mindset of the desperate beggar, and enter the mindset of the sorter, it will get much, much easier.

This Will Help:

Are You Plagued By Hallucinations?

Create Your Own Custom Hallucinations

Why Not Hallucinate What You Want?

I used to love those 3D pictures, the kind that looked like noise at first.

Then if you stare at them the right way, a cool image appears, suddenly out of nowhere.

Some people are better at “getting it” than others. It usually took me a while.

Most of us aren’t used to looking at a flat object as if it were in three dimensions.

There’s plenty of other images that are specifically designed to “trick” the mind.

Old ladies that suddenly morph into young girls, a lamp that suddenly turns into two people about to kiss, stairs that go up in a loop, but really don’t go up at all.

One of the biggest tricks of the mind is one we play on ourselves.

We can “negatively hallucinate” something, meaning it’s right in front of us, but we can’t see it.

(Guys are particularly good at this, especially when looking for our keys).

Or we can think something is there, when there’s not. Like when somebody looks at us with a plain expression on their face, and we read WAY too much into the situation.

The trouble is that we respond not to reality itself, but our interpretation of reality.

Even if our keys are right there, since we can’t see them, we’ll keep looking, and end up being late to wherever we’re going.

We could have talked to that person, and turned their genuine neutral feelings about us into something positive, but since we imagined they were angry or judgmental or whatever, we never even held eye contact for more than a split second.

The good news it that our perception of reality is TOTALLY flexible, AND it’s TOTALLY up to us.

Do you think our keys really care if we find them or not?

Even better, that neutral person would LOVE for us to turn them into a “positive-feelings” person, so they’re actually hoping we’ll perceive them differently than we have been.

This skill is rarely talked about, let alone taught, but it exists, and learning it is perhaps the most important thing you can do.

Since there’s so much “stuff’ out there to choose from, why not choose things that support you?

Why not “imagine” people are dying for you to talk to them?

Why not “imagine” that opportunities are everywhere, just waiting to scoop them up?

Why not “imagine” that your biggest and most compelling plans in life are not only easy, but the whole reason you were put here?

All you’ve got to do is shift your mind, and you’ll see.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Mind Tricks For Massive Confidence With Girls

How To Shift From Anxiety To Confidence In No Time

Flip Your Mental Switch

Here’s a great trick that will quickly boost your confidence.

You go somewhere where there’s plenty of cute girls to flirt with.

Someplace where people are out walking around is best. When you see a cutie coming your way, make eye contact and smile at her like she’s a friend. Like you know her.

While you are doing this, purposely remember a fun time you actually had with a cute girl. Nothing physical, just a fun conversation with a friend from school or work or something.

Nine times out of ten, she’ll smile back.  Even do a few double takes when you pass each other.

This is the perfect “energy” to have when out in public.

Most guys like girls, but they don’t know how to meet girls. For most guys, meeting girls just happens. Which means it always feels out of control.

And most guys like sex, but don’t get nearly as much as they want (if any lol).

You combine these two feelings, and whenever they see a cute girl they’d LIKE to get with, it brings up all kinds of negative feelings. Lack, being out of control, feeling alone, left behind, etc.

And sometimes these feelings morph into anger at the girl.

This is a natural human trait. We want something, and we can’t get it, so we blame the world. In this case the girl.

Now, it’s pretty obvious what will happen with this mindset. You’ll be looking at a girl with a mixture of lust, frustration, desperation and perhaps even a tinge of anger.

Not the kind of energy she’s looking for in a guy.

This, of course, will make it much harder to meet girls, which will increase those feelings. And this is a very hard trap to get out of.

So you’ve got to prime the pump, so to speak.

Hence the exercise described above.

The trick is to FORCE your brain to think of a happy, carefree spontaneous conversation you had with  a girl, no matter how long ago.

Then FORCE your brain to “pretend” the girl you’re looking at is an old friend. 

These two thoughts combined will get rid of those negative feelings and emotions long enough for her to notice your energy, and flash you an honest smile.

And when a cute girl flashes you an honest smile, and holds it, and even does a double take, it feels pretty good.

Try this out whenever you’re in a funk. Try and get five to ten good, honest smiles before talking to anybody.

It will not only put you in a good mood, but it will turn that negative self sustaining loop into a positive one.

Learn More Mind Tricks:

Take Your Brain on a Shopping Spree

Grab Whatever You Want

Take Anything You Want

Here’s a fun mind experiment.

You are at your favorite shopping mall. (Or department store, or supermarket or whatever).

You’ve got a shopping cart, and five minutes.

You can go to any store, and grab anything you want, and put it in your basket, for free.

No limitations.

What would you grab? Assuming you can’t sell anything, so you don’t just grab the most expensive stuff, what would you get?

This is a fun experiment to play with your friends, just to see what kinds of things they value.

But it’s also a good metaphor for the way we look at the world.

How so?

Our senses are being hit with millions of bits of information per second, but our conscious minds only handle a small fraction. Less than a hundred bits.

The stuff that’s important to us, like our names, money on the ground, a tiger that just escaped from the zoo, that stuff gets front row seats in our conscious minds.

The rest?

Straight into long term storage, most likely to never been seen again.

What kinds of things?

Those attractive people who are checking you out.

Those people that would be perfect for you to talk to and get some traction behind that idea of yours.

That bookstore or magazine stand that’s got the book or article that might send your career into a completely different direction, allowing you to make more money than you ever thought possible.

The trouble is that most of us never notice ANY of those things.

But it’s easy to “fine-tune” your mind, to see whatever you want to see.

Even better, you can create any set of ideas or beliefs you want, and train your mind to see PROOF of whatever you want.

Most people say they’ll believe it when they see it.

But as I’m sure you know, you’ve got to believe it FIRST, then you’ll start seeing it.

Granted, it’s not quick. It’s not as simple as mumbling some magic phrases.

But it is very easy. And it only takes a few minutes a day of private mental practice.

What would YOU like to believe?

The world really IS like that imaginary shopping mall with all the stuff.

You really CAN grab whatever you want.

Tune your brain, and it’s yours for the taking.

Learn How:

Belief Change

Stop Making Childish Excuses!

Get Out There And Get In The Mix!

Put On Your Big Boy Pants

It doesn’t take much effort find so called “game experts” bemoaning the state of male-female relationships these days.

If you dig beneath the surface, what many of these “gurus” are really teaching is a very complicated philosophical “proof” that is based on the oldest excuse in the book.

“It’s Not My Fault.”

Now, this is a very touchy subject. On the one hand, very few people had ideal childhoods. And it’s no secret that something as emotionally deep and powerful as male-female relationships is HIGHLY dependent on how well you were “raised” in this regard.

To be certain, those things that happened to you as a kid were absolutely NOT your fault.

But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about guys who claim they can’t get laid, or find the ideal woman, or find WHATEVER they want, because of a variation of an age old argument that will simply not die.

“The World Is Broken.”

If you were to develop some invisible time machine that had a universal translator so you could travel around and listen in on various people belly aching about pretty much ANY kind of “lack,” you’d hear the same argument.

“It was much better in the good old days.”

“This generation has gotten a raw deal.”

“There just aren’t any X out there. I’ve looked.”

X can be jobs, girls, plots of land to build a cabin, places to prospect for gold, rocks to throw at zebras, you name it.

Why is this argument so popular?

Because it’s incredibly easy.

It takes no risk. It takes little mental effort. It’s very common so you’ll always have good company (misery loves company, eh?)

AND it protects you from taking risks, failing, or doing ANYTHING uncomfortable.

But guess what?

When it comes to girls, WHATEVER you want, you can get.

So long as you are willing to do what it takes to get it.

The strategy is simple.

Choose your criteria. Looks, personality, belief, religion, family background, etc.

Then simply start sorting.

AND realize that your dream girl must be attracted to you as much as you’ll be attracted to her.

Many guys miss this obvious point.

They think any kind of “work” they do is not dependent on her subjective desires.

Your job is to NOT ONLY find a girl who meets your criteria, but to meet a girl that thinks YOU meet HER criteria.

This, unquestionably, is a LOT of work.

And it’s understandable if you don’t want to put in that much work.

Just don’t kid yourself.

Don’t say, “The market sucks.” Or “There aren’t any quality women.”

At least do yourself the courtesy of telling yourself the truth:

“I probably could find my dream girl, but I’m too scared, and I’m too lazy.”

But if you really DO want to find her, (and you should because the benefits are better than ANYTHING on planet Earth), then get busy.

This Will Help:

How To Get A Bigger Brain

Get A Better Perspective

Expand Your Picture Of Reality

One of the cool tricks you learn in NLP is “going meta.”

This just means looking at something from a larger perspective.

Looking at the big picture, stepping back, etc.

For example, if you’ve ever been to a live training, you’ve probably done this while speaking to somebody. Choose a partner and start talking about something not so important.

Then see the conversation from their eyes, and back from your eyes.

Then see the conversation from an imaginary, third person perspective, off to the side.

This gets pretty complicated, and it’s hard to keep even the simplest conversation going when flipping around like this.

It is, however, a very important skill to learn. For example, whenever making a big decision, it’s tough to separate from your emotions.

Which means if you CAN do that, you’ll have a much better chance of choosing an option that will serve you best, in the long run.

Another great skill to have is to “go meta” regarding your capabilities.

For example, when many people go into new environments, especially social environments where there’s some pretty good potential, it’s very common to feel nervous or anxious.

The brain looks out into the situation, and quickly notices two things. One is that there are many interesting people, with many potential benefits.

On the other hand, ALL of them are strangers.

This mix can easily cause anxiety.

On the one hand, part of you is saying “Let’s Go!” and is eager to get the good stuff.

On the other hand, another part of you is saying, “Hold on! We don’t know any of these people!”

Which is why being able to “go meta” is very helpful.

Sure, they are strangers, but they are also people, in the larger sense.

So when you’ve got your brain thinking “Let’s Go!” And “Hey, People! We’ve talked to people before!”

It will give you a lot more confidence and enthusiasm.

The trick is to train your brain so you “go meta” automatically, instead of having to do it consciously.

All you’ve got to do is learn how to build in the beliefs you want, rather than rely on your “factory programmed” beliefs.

How do you do that?

Here’s How:

Belief Change

True Alpha Behavior

Alphas Aren't Really Mean and Scary

Not What Most Guys Think

Many guys get stuck when girls try and “test” them.

If you read any forum related to getting girls, guys will post something she did or said, and ask:

“Was this a test?”

It can be confusing. You can be jamming along, everything’s groovy, and then suddenly she says or does something that doesn’t make any sense, and kind of puts you on the defensive.

When this happens, and it does, will and continue to happen, it generally IS a test.

Why do girls do this?

Girls don’t like guys for the same reasons guys like girls. Guys are much more into looks and physical beauty. This doesn’t mean that it’s the ONLY thing, but it’s a pretty important one.

Girls, on the other hand, are much less concerned with looks, and more concerned with personality. This, of course doesn’t mean that looks are COMPLETELY irrelevant to girls, but they’re not nearly as important as guys think they are.

So when a guy is checking out a girl, he knows right away if he’s attracted. She’s pretty, she’s got nice features, she’s dressed to kill. In about two seconds, the male attraction is fired up.

But when girls feel attraction, it doesn’t happen right away. She needs to be a lot more sure of his personality.

Since this has been true since the dawn of time, girls are hard wired to “test” a guy to make sure he can handle unexpected things.

No girl wants to hook her wagon to a guy who’s going to collapse into a butt-hurt little boy at the first sign of trouble.

So, how do you respond?

Think of it from her perspective. A evolutionary, biological perspective.

The whole purpose of her tests is to make sure he can handle adversity without being affected.

Which means you don’t get angry, you don’t try and “flip the script” and show her who’s boss.

The less her tests bother you, the better.

This is the REAL dominant alpha that girls respond to.

Not the kind who can yell and scream and act all tough and stoic and all of that other BS.

The guy who’s happy and content with himself and sure of himself and his abilities no matter WHAT happens.

Imagine you’re a caveman, and you’ve got a cave wife and a couple of cave kids following you down some dirt path.

If you come up to an obstacle, how do you respond?

If you’re her ideal caveman, you’ll simply say, “Hmm. An obstacle. Let’s go around it.”

If you’re a butt-hurt little cave boy, you’ll say, “This is so unfair! I didn’t sign up for this!”

Which guy do you think most girls would like to follow?

Build up your belief in yourself. Accept whatever she says as an opportunity to demonstrate your value by shrugging them off.

No big deal.

This will get her attracted to you faster than anything else.

More Mind Tools:

How To Benefit From Einstein’s Error

Einstein Was Wrong Quite A Lot

Copy The Smartest Guys On Earth

If it rains, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

If you’re intending to play baseball, maybe not so good.

If you’re growing crops, then it’s probably a good thing.

If you apply for a job and don’t get it, is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

Bad thing if the company takes off and everybody gets rich off the stock options.

Good thing if the company sucks and they end up laying everybody off.

The bottom line about pretty much anything is that the meaning is not only open to interpretation, but many people will have different interpretations.

And they’ll all be right.

Even though the world exists with or without us, how we perceive it, and how we perceive ourselves is always open to interpretation.

This is pretty good because all you’ve got to do is try on different interpretations, and see which one works best.

One of the most mind boggling advances if physics happened just like this.

In the early 1900’s a bunch of the smartest guys on Earth (Einstein and friends) were sitting around trying to figure out this phenomenon called “Black Body Radiation.”

They kept watching what was happening, and then describe it mathematically and they kept getting it wrong.

Even Einstein.

Then this guy Max Plank (in his twenties) had an “out of the box” idea, and quantum physics was born.

Luckily, we can apply that very same model. Just keep trying different “stories” of what’s going on, until you find one that fits.

The good news is that you can do this on stuff that’s happening right now, around you, and you can also do this with stuff that’s already happened.

All you’ve got to do is choose something you’d like to be true (like “making money is easy,” or “talking to super sexy people is easy,” or “giving persuasive speeches in front of hundreds of people is easy”) and find evidence of this in your history to support it.

And it will be true.

Truth is there’s billions of stuff going on around you AND there’s billions of stuff that happened to you already.

All you’ve got to do is choose something you’d like to be true, and then find evidence to support it.

No physics required.

Learn more:


How To Find Your Dream Girl

Get Girls To Fall In Love With You

Step By Step Love Building

Most guys realize something pretty incredible when they start getting success with the ladies.

And that is that it’s not really as heavenly as they imagined.

Sure, it’s still a wonderful feeling to be with somebody special. Somebody who really gets you and has your back when you need it.

But it’s much more of a “two way street” than some guys imagine.

This is because there is a difference between getting something as a gift, and getting something in exchange.

Remember being a little kid, and getting birthday presents? Or any other present?

It feels good to get something. Something good. Something unexpected. Simply because.

That’s great if you’re a kid. And some guys apply this philosophy to girls. They act like they “deserve” something just “because.”

Like a little kid pounding his fists on the dinner table because there’s no ice cream.

“But You Promised!”

The only reason a girl will “give you” anything is because she’s getting something equally valuable from you.

And as tough as this is to hear, if you aren’t getting what you want from girls, then you don’t have much to offer, at least from their perspective.

No pretty girl, who gets plenty of attention from guys, is going to look across the room at some guy, and just spontaneously decide to walk over and give him the goods.

Girls just aren’t wired that way.

They like being approached. They like being talked to in a special way. They like to feel special feelings. 

And if a guy can consistently make them feel those special feelings, she’ll be more than willing to give back.

Now, it’s absolutely crucial that NONE of this happens on a conscious level. It’s not like trading baseball cards with your buddies.

Your behavior has to trigger those feelings. And those feelings in her will trigger her behavior that then triggers those feelings in you.

To get, you’ve got to give. But not like most guys think they’re “giving.”

How will you know when you’re “giving” correctly? She’ll be responding correctly. Body language, pupil dilation, lip color, skin color, percent of the time she’s looking at you and not gazing around the room.

Now, this requires a lot of practice. A lot of times you’ll go over and talk to her, and nothing will happen.

But if you talk to enough girls, you’ll see that just being you will be enough to get certain girls into you.

Then you just keep focusing on those until you find one you like who likes you.

Now, like I mentioned before, once you get to this level, it’s pretty mechanical. You’ll start to lose that “magic feeling” when a girl looks at you a special way.

You may even feel like you’re wasting your time. After all, you’ll find that if you talk to ten girls a night, you’ll get at least a couple who are interested in you.

You’ve stopped looking for unexpected “presents” and you’ve entered the grown up world of relationship creation.

Which means you can literally design your perfect dream girl, in every way, and then simply go out and find her.

Get Started Now: