Monthly Archives: May 2015

Your Slow Steady Path To Natural Game

What Does This Turtle Know About Seduction?

Aesop Was A Player

What is your biggest obstacle to meeting girls?

Most guys come up with all kinds of reasons. There’s no quality women. They don’t know where to meet girls. They don’t know what to say. They don’t have time, they don’t have money.

All of these are ego protecting excuses, rather than reasons.

There’s a principle in psychology called “cognitive dissonance” where we don’t see or accept parts of reality because they’ll make us feel like an idiot, or weak, or foolish.

The human brain is a master manipulator of itself in order to protect our ego.

Where does the ego live? Behind our greatest fear. But also behind our greatest fear is our greatest strength.

The good news is that when it comes to meeting girls for potential relationships, you don’t need to go full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes or go big or go home. Leave that crap for Hollywood.

It’s entirely possible, and even highly recommended, to take it slow. Very slow. If ALL you did for the next year was to slowly increase your comfort zone when it comes to talking to girls, you’d be a stone cold natural.

You wouldn’t need to spend any time on forums, or study game, or practice patterns, or change your wardrobe or even get a job. Well, you might need a job to KEEP a quality woman, but you certainly don’t need one to CREATE ATTRACTION in a quality woman. (But then again, women today are so starved for a self confident man that they would likely keep you around even if you were unemployed!)

So, how do you go about this?

Start very slow. Start very small. Take small baby steps. Every day do something that just a half inch outside your comfort zone. When it becomes easy, stretch it out just a LITTLE bit further.

Eye contact, smiles, conversations, wherever you are comfortable now, just start there.

If you do NOTHING ELSE but push your comfort zone out just a little bit at a time, you’ll become a social skill ninja that can easily seduce girls any time, any where.

Now, a year is a long time. But ask yourself this: Where were you a year ago, compared to now? If you continue to do the same thing, and get the same results, where will you be a year from now?

That may seem harsh to think about, but just wait until this time next year, when you’ve got all kinds of choice, all kinds of potential, and can talk anybody into anything.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Remove The Enemy To Success

Expand Your Comfort Zone

How To Grow Your Comfort Zone

All of us want things that we don’t go after.

Most of us make up stories that we tell ourselves, in order to protect our egos.

Very few of us are honest enough with ourselves to admit the real reasons to ourselves.

When I was a kid me and my friends would always dare each other to do things.

Go ring the doorbell of some crazy ladies house.

Touch some gross looking bug.

Go say something goofy to some other kid we barely knew, usually a girl.

Many times, we’d actually kind of seek out our buddies and get them to dare us to do stuff.

Stuff we wanted to do, but couldn’t really do on our own.

Many times having a group of supporters can help you do things you want to do, but can’t on your own.

But some things in life, the really good things in life, you really do have to do them on your own.

Everything that is worth getting, is going to require some kind of risk. Some kind of action where you aren’t really sure what’s going to happen.

Many people simply aren’t comfortable with this. 

But those who achieve greatness, do so because they are comfortable with risk. Comfortable with uncertainty.

Now, this doesn’t meant that you need to go out and become a super hero or anything.

It means just expanding your comfort zone a bit. Just enough to feel like you’ve accomplished something worthwhile at the end of the day.

You’ve moved beyond merely handling what the world gives you (which is plenty most of the time!)

When you go above and beyond what’s required, when you push out just a little bit more, it feels pretty good.

Most people imagine that confronting fear is only when they pick up their sword and face that huge, fire breathing dragon.

But in reality, it’s those small behaviors you do on a daily basis. When you take a risk and smile at somebody.

Or be the person to approach the other person. Or be the person who speaks up on behalf of somebody else when something goes wrong.

You don’t need to wait for a monster to kill or a dragon to slay.

You’ve got opportunities every single day to conquer your fears. One by one. Little by little.

Napoleon Hill wrote decades ago that our most basic fears can hold us back from greatness.

From the wealth and relationships we deserve.

Many of these “base fears” live in our root Chakra. And left alone, they tend to fester and grow.

Taking daily action is a sure way to slowly eliminate them from your life.

Here’s another way:

Kundalini Activator

Her Attraction For You Is Never Set In Stone

Always Be Testing

Always Measure

There’s a lot of sales slogans that find their way into the realm of seduction and pickup.

Always be closing, always be prospecting, hot prospect, cold prospect, etc.

But there’s one that doesn’t get much air time, because it’s not really applicable to sales, or therapy, the two other areas where having persuasive language can be a benefit.

And that is to always be testing.

This is not intuitive, because it’s basic human nature to assume that everybody sees the world the way we see the world. And this can cause guys a LOT of grief in relationship building.

Guys see a girl, and become attracted to her. This is because the evolutionary triggers installed in our brains are based on how she looks more than anything else. Sure, it is also desirable for her to be smart, friendly, have a decent sense of humor, but for basic attraction, we need looks before we need anything else.

And once she’s got the right look, based on your type, that level of attraction is fixed, and won’t change, unless her body changes significantly.

With women, this is absolutely NOT true.

Just as we’d like to have things about her personality be true as an afterthought to her looks, girls are the opposite.

They’d like a guy who looks good as an afterthought to his personality. 

This is why it’s MUCH MORE LIKELY to see a decent looking girl with an ugly guy than the other way around.

If a guy has a strong personality, good social skills, is totally confident and enjoys being in his own skin, that’s generally good enough for most girls.

Which means her level of attraction for you is going to be dependent on how she feels AT THE MOMENT.

This is crucial in the early stages. Guys almost always make the mistake that if she likes him for the first night, then her attraction for him is set in stone (like his is for her) and he doesn’t have to do anything.

This is absolutely NOT TRUE.

Especially if you’re the type to go out and use “game” when you meet her first. You’re giving her a personality that’s NOT your real personality.

From a guys perspective, it would be a girl looking completely different than she did the night before.

So, it’s very likely that her level of attraction for you is going to ALWAYS be in flux the first few weeks or even months that you’re together.

Which means it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to always measure her level of attraction. If it drops, adjust your behavior accordingly. If it’s up, keep doing whatever you were doing.

Is this fair? Maybe, maybe not. But that’s not the point. The point is if you don’t continuously measure her levels of attraction, you won’t know when it sinks, and you won’t know why she’s gone.

But if you learn to measure it and keep it up, she’ll be yours for good.

Are You Happy With What You See?

Look Below The Surface

Peer Beneath The Surface

Very often we humans use metaphors to describe things. Usually to make it easier on the brain.

I read this fascinating book a while back called “Metaphors We Live By.” by George Lakoff, one of Chomsky’s original students.

It wasn’t quite what I expected. I was thinking it would be about some kind of mystical metaphysics or something. Maybe the deep meaning of life.

But it was something far more profound, and illustrates how pretty much ALL of our thinking is based on metaphors for what lies beneath the seemingly normal surface of reality.

Basically, whenever we use a noun that’s not a real object, (sometimes in NLP these are called nominalizations), we have to use them AS IF they are a real object.

And the preposition (the word that comes before them in the sentence) we use WITH THEM describes what kind of noun our subconscious minds think they are.

I know, this sounds kind of confusing.

But think of the noun, “meeting.” It’s not a physical thing. Sure, there’s the meeting room, the table, the chairs, the people. But the meeting itself is an abstract concept.

What KIND of noun do our brains think it is?

A container. How do we know this? Because we say “I’m IN a meeting.” We don’t say “on” a meeting, or “under” a meeting. We say “in” a meeting. And we are “in” containers.

How about a train, plane, or boat? We say “on.” Like it’s a vehicle.

How about a team? We also say “on.” Because we travel with a team, to meet other teams. Also like a vehicle. Compared to a club, which is more like a container. “In” the club.

There’s basically five or six different basic categories we put these abstract nouns in (containers, barriers, passages, buildings, companions, etc).

Which means in our most basic, fundamental every day language, we’re describing these abstract concepts in a way that we can pretend to make sense of them.

Most people imagine that reality is pretty simple. That what you see is what you get.

But you know there’s much more. The surface is just what’s on top.

What if all you thought about the ocean was what it looked like on top?

You know that there’s MUCH MORE to this “reality” than meets the eye. Much more underneath the surface. 

Stuff most people don’t even know exists, let alone go looking for.

How about you?

Are you willing to dig through the false surface, to see what’s REALLY inside?

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

How To Conjure Social Proof

How To Conjure Social Proof

Easily Increase Attraction

One thing that can almost always help you is social proof. This is often misunderstood, and sometimes confused with “authority.” The two often go hand in hand.

Simply stated, social proof is when many people are doing something, and it makes that “thing” seem more attractive, purely because the crowd is doing it.

The paradox of social proof is that every single human on Earth is hard wired to respond to it, while at the same time, all of us will argue that it doesn’t have any effect on us at all.

For example, let’s say you’re walking down the street and you see a crowd lined up outside a particular store. Social proof is the crowd, and simply because the crowd is there, you are interested. If you walk up and you see them all holding fistfuls of money buying some shiny object, social proof will also make you want to buy it, even though you don’t know what it is.

Then later on, when you get home, you’ll have come up with some rational, logical reason why you bought that object. Even though you really believe these are the real reasons, they’re really just excuses. 

Whatever you are selling, if you have social proof, it’s a LOT easier to sell.

If you walk into a club with three or four girls, you’ll be a LOT more attractive. If these girls are attractive themselves, you’ll have to do VERY LITTLE work to get pretty much every girl in the club interested in you.

To make matters even BETTER, all the girls will also notice that every other girl is also interested in you, which will give you even MORE social proof.

So long as you have decent social skills, and can hold a regular conversation, it will be VERY EASY to get what  you’re after.

The problem is, of course, is that few guys have three or four girls to “wing” for them at the club.

Sure, you could hire some, and it would work, but it would be expensive.

But there’s another way. One that will give you almost the same result.

The first part is to simply talk to girls anywhere and everywhere, with two objectives. One is to get their names, two is to find out something interesting about them. That’s it. This is your “ammunition.”

Then, when you’re out and trying to meet girls for real, just start talking to any girl who’s attractive enough and giving you enough IOI’s.

This will be easy since you’ve been talking to girls everywhere.

Then, whenever you can, mention one of those girls, and that thing you found about her that’s interesting. So long as that interesting thing is appropriate for your current conversation, you can slide it right in.

And when you are vague who that particular girl is you are referencing, even better.

For example, don’t say, “This girl Betty I talked to at the post office and whom I’ll never see again said she also likes hang gliding.”

Say this instead:

“Oh you like hang gliding? This girl Betty I know also likes hang gliding. How long have you been doing it?”

And then just leave it at that. The girl you’re currently talking to will start wondering who “Betty” is, and will assume you two are together, or were together, or something.

Giving you social proof.

Do You Have Faith In Yourself?

Magic Or Science

Magic Or Science?

When I was a kid, I thought it would be the coolest things to read minds.

I went to this theme park with my brother, and this guy was doing this animal show.

He would get the participant to whisper a specific item in the dog’s ear, and then the dog would come back with the item.

I didn’t believe it until I got called up to the stage, and sure enough, I whispered an item in the dog’s ear and he brought it to me.

I was flabbergasted until I got home and my brother explained how the trick worked.

All stage magic is like that. It looks really cool, until you figure out how to do the trick.

Funny thing is we KNOW that’s going to happen. Our curiosity gets the best of us. We want to know how the trick is done, even though it will ruin the magic.

Of course, this is just pretend magic, not real magic. 

What is real magic?

It depends on who you ask. Scientists tell us that magic is any kind of technology that is beyond the current level of human understanding.

But what about any kind of technology that will ALWAYS be beyond human understanding?

On the one hand, we kind of HAVE to live in a universe that’s got specific rules. Otherwise random stuff would just keep happening, and the physical laws which bind our own bodies together might stop working.

But on the other hand, I’ve no doubt that there are MANY things going on that humans will NEVER grasp, at least in this lifetime.

But that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. That they aren’t real.

Even if you’re not a religious person, there’s plenty to be said for having a strong faith.

Even when we try something that’s a little bit outside of our comfort zone, we are demonstrating faith in ourselves.

Anytime we do something when we’re not sure what’s going to happen, we’re demonstrating faith that we ARE smart enough and courageous enough to figure out what to do once we figure out what’s going on.

The more you faith you have in yourself, the more stuff you’ll be able to do.

Most people don’t like to hear this. Most people are looking for a guaranteed, step by step, sure fire, no risk system that will get them what they want.

That only happens on TV.

But real magic requires knowing that YOU are much more than YOU think you are.

And having the faith to take action, if only to find out who YOU truly are.

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

How To Develop Ultra Strong Frame Control

Massive Frame Control

Bear Theory

You’ve heard that story of the two guys out hiking who saw the bear, right?

One guy starts putting on his running shoes, and the other guys says he can’t out run a bear.

To which the first guy says, “I don’t need to outrun the bear, I only need to outrun you.”

Remember this joke next time you’re out where the ladies are. Take a look around. You don’t have to be the super alpha of the world to get a decent girl. You only need to be slightly more alpha than all the other goofs around.

Even better, you only really need to be more alpha than the last few guys she’s talked to. No need to out-alpha a guy she’s never talked to, and won’t likely talk to, right?

Here’s another application of bear theory.

Whoever has the strongest frame will control the flow of the conversation. This isn’t so PC, but girls are hard wired to be attracted to a guy who can lead. A guy that has a stronger frame than she does. She won’t admit this, and she probably doesn’t know this. 

After all, attraction is not something we can conjure up at will. It just happens. Girls fall for guys all the time when they have no idea why. But now YOU know.

In fact, many times when a girl tests a guy, it’s to VERIFY that his seemingly strong frame is real, and not fake.

So, how do you have a stronger frame than hers? Easy. Just hold a thought longer than she can hold a contrary thought.

Meaning if you’re talking about something, and she tries to change the subject, pace whatever she said, but eventually lead the conversation back to where it was before. This is pure leading 101.

Girls LOVE a guy who can lead. Girls LOATHE guys who need to follow.

You can practice this without even talking to her. Just find a place where you can make eye contact with plenty of girls,  stationary or not.

Then practice “frame wars.”

Simply pick a girl you think is cute. Look at her and smile. Forget anything and just enjoy looking at her.

If she looks at you, HOLD that feeling, and HOLD your eye contact. Do not waver. This is practice only, it’s not intended to get any kind of particular result. The easier you can do this, the stronger your frame will be.

Ideally, you want to hold it while she looks at you, looks away, and then looks back. Even if she looks back a third time, DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Hold your posture, your gaze, your thoughts, your smile, even your eyeballs.

If she comes over and talks to you fine, but she probably won’t. Eventually she’ll go back to what she was doing.

BONUS if she’s with three or four friends, and she mentions to them, and THEY all look at you.

DON’T look at them. Only her. Remember, this is practice.

The idea is to practice holding your frame, regardless of what happens.

If you do this consistently, you’ll be amazed what happens.

Get Started

Girlfriend Generator

Your Inner And Outer Light

Two Way Motivation

Two Way Motivation

It’s easy to “perform” when there are some strong incentives.

If you had a pretty good job, with pretty good money, and had to be there every morning at 7 AM, you wouldn’t have a problem waking up in the morning.

Having an external, negative incentive (you’d get fired if you showed up late too often) is one strong motivating factor.

Most of us are driven largely by negative incentives, or by pain. Meaning we are more motivated to move away from pain than we are to move toward pleasure.

For example, you’ll find no shortage of “diets” that famous people follow to lose weight in order to get those awesome looking bodies we see in the movies.

But here’s the thing. If YOU were going to get a few million dollars to be in a movie, but the ONLY way you would get it if you got yourself in really decent shape, you’d have NO PROBLEM doing so.

It’s not really the specific diet that gets them into shape, it’s the motivation.

Not only negative, but also positive. Meaning on the one hand, they’re terrified of losing out, and getting rejected by Hollywood. But they’re also thrilled at increasing their fame and social status.

This is what happens when you figure out how to be motivated not only by moving AWAY from pain, but TOWARD pleasure.

Most of us move away from pain just long enough so we can sit on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours.

Those that figure out to move toward pleasure, as well as away from pain, tend to do much, much better in life.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is establish your own personal pleasure you’re going after.

I’m not talking about short term pleasure, like that ice cream in your freezer. I’m talking about huge, long term pleasure out in the future.

A perfect relationship, a great career, a feeling of spiritual peace and connection.

Those things will simply not happen if you’re ONLY motivated away from pain.

The thing is that all of us, on a very deep and fundamental level, are hard wired to WANT those things. Those perfect relationships, careers that maximize our skills and intelligence while filling up our bank accounts.

But they don’t happen naturally. You’ve got to get up off the couch and get moving. Sometimes for a while before you figure out where you’re going.

Before you get on the path you KNOW is the right path for you, there will be some trial and error.

This is normal, natural, and part of the process. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel that thrill of discovery when you DO discover the right path.

One way that can help considerably is to open up your higher self. Get in touch with the part of you that is waiting to be pulled toward the light, rather than merely away from the darkness.

Once you discover the light within, it will be much easier to find the light without.

Learn How:

Kundalini Activator

How To Get Better At Talking To Girls

Always Choose An End Point For Practicing

Determine The End Point BEFORE You Talk To Her

No matter what you want to get better at, practice is the only way. When we go to school, there are subjects, and there are skills. If you’re learning something like history, this is clearly a subject. You memorize all the names, dates, intentions behind all the actions, and you’re in good shape. You can use your regular thinking to understand events.

Other “subjects” are more like skills. Math for example. The only way you can get better at math is by practicing math. If you tried to memorize some equations, it wouldn’t get you very far. Language and sports are the same way. If you tried to get better at basketball by studying some books in the library, you wouldn’t be a very good basketball player. 

Sure, you could talk about it intelligently, you could sound like you knew what was going on. But if somebody put a ball in your hand, you wouldn’t know what to do.

All human relationships are skills like that. If you want to get better at sales, you’ll need to practice. If you wanted to get better at public speaking, the only way would be to practice. If you wanted to get better at negotiating, the only way would be to practice.

Talking to girls is the same way. For some reason, many guys imagine that talking to girls is something you can learn from a book or by reading various forums. Sure, this can help you in between practice sessions, but it is by no means a substitute for practice.

One problem that comes up is separating practice from the real thing. If you were practicing basketball, you’d do drills, and you’d have scrimmages, or practice games. You wouldn’t worry too much about the practice games, only the games with other teams.

But for some reason, when guys go out, they rarely see it as practice. They always see it as the real thing. Which means they don’t see it as a learning experience. It’s always in the frame of “success or failure.” And unless you’re a stone cold natural from birth, you’ll have many more failures than successes.

This makes it INCREDIBLY hard to get out there. Imagine if you were on a basketball team and the ONLY time you ever even dribbled a ball was during a regular game! You’d have to lose plenty of games through plenty of seasons before you got any good.

That’s why you should PRACTICE with girls, much more often than you talk to them for real. How do you practice? Choose an end point BEFORE you talk to her, and stick to it.

For example, if you are OK with flirting but can’t open to save your life, go out and PRACTICE opening. Don’t worry what happens next. Just see it as practice. Don’t worry about closing or even exchanging names. Once you start talking to her, YOU’RE DONE. Exit gracefully and find somebody else.

This is much harder than it sounds. Guys are genetically wired to go as far as we can with every single girl. But if you force yourself to practice, you’ll get a lot better, a lot more quickly.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Unleash Your Relentless Self

Internal Peace Of Mind

Create A Quiet Place In Your Mind

I had this cool physics instructor once.

Super genius, but also super soft spoken.

He was once giving a lecture, and in his soft spoken voice, and he’d said that physics was like basketball. You can only get better if you practice.

He made the comparison to watching somebody teach how to execute some type of basketball move. It’s one thing to understand how it’s done, it’s something else completely to be able to do it yourself.

That only comes with practice.

There’s a lot of misconception in the world of NLP. It’s taught, and marketed as some kind of “once and done” system where all you have to do is sit there and soak up some knowledge from some “guru” and suddenly become an NLP genius.

When people say they’ve been “trained” in NLP, that’s what they usually mean. They’ve been to an intensive seminar. Maybe a couple weeks. They’ve done some one on one practice within the seminar (where everything usually works perfectly).

If you met somebody at a party, and they said they were a classically trained pianist, what would you imagine about their “training”?

That they’d gone to a two week intensive piano seminar, and practiced a couple of songs?

Not likely. Most people would imagine they’d spent YEARS studying under some taskmaster genius, who had them doing drill after drill, until they could play the classics beautifully, emotionally, and flawlessly.

Unless you’re doing something incredibly simple, like making toast, or buying a subway ticket, mastering ANY skill is going to take time.

And MOST skills are never “master-able.” Meaning you’ll NEVER get to a point where you can sit back and say, “Yep, I pretty much got THAT all figured out!”

Even professional athletes, who have been practicing their art since they were kids, strike out (or whatever the equivalent) plenty of time.

Life is much, much more than learning a couple of tricks, and then sitting pretty.

It’s about constantly learning, growing, risking, failing, trying again, succeeding, achieving fantastic breakthroughs after long spans of nothing.

All in completely random and unpredictable order.

There’s NO guaranteed step by step process, other than figuring out what you want, trying something, and seeing what happens.

Most people are terrified of this. Most are desperate to be told what to do, and then be able to blame somebody when anything goes wrong.

One thing that will help is having a rock solid faith in yourself. Not that you’ll succeed, but that no matter what happens, you’ll be able to figure out what to do next.

Fear is incredibly paralyzing. But once you take action, the fear will vanish. And so long as you keep forward momentum going, no matter how small, you will NEVER fail.

Having a quiet place to retreat to, to regroup and re-strengthen yourself, can help.

That way, you’ll ALWAYS come back stronger.

Learn More:

Kundalini Activator