Monthly Archives: August 2015

Social Charisma Super Hero

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Structure Is Crucial

Many people believe they need to have some really interesting stories to talk about to be interesting.

Sounds kind of logical, but it’s not.

If you’ve ever seen a stand up comedian, they usually talk about pretty everyday stuff, right?

But it’s how they talk about it that’s funny.

If you want to become a powerfully mesmerizing speaker, either in one on one situations, or in front of groups, all you need is the stories you’ve got in your head right now.

To start, speak with bigger gestures. Congruent gestures. Don’t be afraid to show emotions on your face. It seems pretty scary at first, but when you really show a wide range of emotions that exaggerate the stories you’re telling,  you’ll turn a normal incident at a stop light into something people will remember for days or even weeks.

The second thing is to break the stories up. If you’re halfway through a story, suddenly switch into a similar story without really finishing the first one.

If you do these a few times, you’ll be creating “open loops.” The brain HATES unfinished business, so every time you “open a new loop” it will create a more desire and attention in your listener.

To make yourself even more persuasive and magnetic, take some time to think of the “emotional flavor” of all your stories. Sad, happy, exciting, surprising, discovery, etc.

Ultimately, these are the three things you’re aiming for:

1) Use a wide range of facial expressions and gestures

2) Create and leave many open loops

3) Take your listeners through several different emotions in a few minutes time

Now, this does take practice, but once you get the hang of it, it’s pretty fun. You’ll show up at a party or something, and start talking about random, everyday stuff, and people will think you are some social charisma super hero.

There’s another way to generate massive magnetism, and it’s pretty easy.

All you’ve got to do is simply pay attention to, and become interested in the person you are talking to.

After all, the most interesting thing to anybody are things about themselves. If you can get them talking about things they are interested in, and ask the right questions at the right time to get them even MORE fired up, this will also put you in the “social charisma super hero” category in their mind.

All it takes is getting out there, getting social, and having fun.

This Can Help:

Charisma Generator

Two Sides Of The Paradox Coin

How To Flip The Paradox Coin

How To Jack The System

There’s a lot of paradoxes in life.

For example, the easiest way to get a loan from the bank is to prove you don’t need the money.

The easiest way to attract a partner is to be completely happy on your own.

One way to lose weight is to increase your metabolism, which you can do by eating more food. Which will make you gain weight. 

Most of us have heard that we make our impressions of people within the first few seconds. After that, it’s hard to overcome that first impression.

On the other hand, most of us only feel comfortable with somebody after we’ve known them for a little bit, and the  more we hang out, the more we let our guard down and let them know who we REALLY are.

Which means almost always, somebody’s first impression (which is hard to change) comes when we are the most reserved and closed off.

There’s a lot of strategies to overcome this paradox. One is where you go out in public and do crazy things, like buy one grape at the supermarket, go into a burger joint and order a pizza, or walk around town with absolutely ridiculous clothing.

Do this long enough, and you’ll just stop worrying too much about what people think.

Then you can relax and be yourself right away, no matter who you meet.

Of course, not a lot of people are willing to go the supermarket and buy one grape!

Another way around this is to develop a deep appreciation for yourself. Take some time every day really settling into your own brain, accepting yourself just the way you are.

This also takes time and consistent effort. 

Whichever path you choose, consider making it a goal. Once you are able to feel comfortable around anybody, anywhere, any time, you will have an incredibly magnetic energy.

People will feel better just hanging around you.

Another thing you’ve likely heard is that communication is only 7% verbal. Meaning before you even open your mouth, your sending out MASSIVE amounts of information through facial expressions, body language, and your movements.

Which means once you feel comfortable in your own skin, people will feel it from across the room.

People will naturally gravitate toward you and want to talk to you and get to know you.

Just by showing up, you’ll magnetize an entire crowd.

Learn More:

Charisma Generator

Who Do You Hang Out With?

Choose Wisely

Choose Your Friends Wisely

I used to work with this guy who was an ultra machine shop wizard.

He could take a hunk of metal and turn it into anything, provided he had specific details.

Even without specific details, if I told him what I needed it for, he could figure it out, through a couple runs of trial and error, until it was right.

I never really thought about his line of work until I got to know him.

One thing that surprised me was that top notch machine shop guys have their own sets of tools. Meaning if they leave one company and go work for another, they bring all their tools with them.

Sure, those huge machines that are several hundred thousands of dollars stay put, but their huge toolbox filled with every tool imaginable goes wherever they go.

There’s a few games where you imagine you’re stranded on a desert island, and you’ve got to pick three or four things from a list to take with you. Sometimes it’s supposed to tell you something about your personality, sometimes there are actually things that’d make a difference. (Like a parachute to use to make some kind of shelter).

Linguistics tell us that when we speak of tools, we think of them subconsciously as companions.

Based on the prepositions we use with nouns, it gives us an idea of how we think of those nouns.

“I went to the mall with my friends.” 

“I cut the bread with a knife.”

Since both use the word “with,” it suggests we think of them as the same thing.

A companion. A helper. A friend.

Skills are also the same way.

I got the job “with” my conversational skills.

I got her number “with” my friendly demeanor.

I finished the project on time “with” my attention to detail.

They say the friends you keep determines the life you have. If you surround yourself with decent friends, you’ll always be motivated to keep up your game.

If you surround yourself with lazy bums who play video games and eat microwave food all day, you might not ever get that corner office.

Which “friends” do you bring with you everywhere you go? Helpful ones, or ones that hold you back?

Inhibitions or strengths?

If you always carry top notch skills with you, these “friends” will help you achieve anything you want.

Learn More:

Charisma Generator