The power of congruence is often misunderstood, or not even realized by many.

Sometimes we feel like everything’s easy, and other times it just feels like everything we do is doomed to failure. Sometimes we get all green lights, other times it seems we can’t help but to get stuck in traffic.

The deep feeling of congruence, when everything just effortlessly “flows” is pretty cool. Everything just “clicks” in the right way, and stuff happens without any effort or scarcely any conscious thought.

Even simple things like going to see a show with your friends are ten times more enjoyable when everything just automatically falls into place. You get the best parking spot, you show up and get the perfect seats. You get up to buy some popcorn and nobody’s in line so it only takes a couple seconds.

Congruence is even better when it’s happens spontaneously between people. Either somebody you’ve just met or an old friend.

Once I was in an airport bar, waiting for my boarding call. I had about two hours, and I hadn’t brought anything to read. Then I saw some girl reading a book that I’d read. She noticed I was looking at her book, and we started a conversation. Turns out we both had loads in common, and the two hours seemed to pass in a few minutes.  One thing just let to another, conversationally speaking, and before I knew it I heard my boarding call. Easy, effortless and enjoyable.

Most of the time this happens spontaneously, but it can be created. But if we wait for conversational congruence to happen spontaneously, we’ll be missing out on a LOT.

Because once you open yourself up to all the potential, you’ll literally find opportunities everywhere you go.

Doesn’t matter if you’re selling something, looking to make a friend, or just want pass the time with an enjoyable conversation.

When you understand the structure of language, and how to let the other person’s criteria lead the conversation, you’ll find it easy to make friends wherever you go.