Author Archives: mindpersuasion

Shock And Awe Relationship Opener

Don't Dance Around The Issue

Stop Dancing Around!

When it comes to picking up girls, guys tend to beat around the bush, so to speak. (NO pun intended, you sick freak!)

Meaning guys rarely come out and say what’s on their minds. But consider a few statistics, mental or otherwise.

Imagine how much time, money and energy you spend trying to “meet girls.” Now, I know that plenty of guys go out to meet girls, don’t meet any girls, and then tell themselves they REALLY were just going out to hang with their boys.

Yea, right!

But just play along. Think of the percent of time you actually get some, vs. the time you spend TRYING to get some. Probably a pretty slim percentage.

Now, consider the famous “Shock and Awe” opener. You walk up, introduce yourself, and calmly and plainly, (not offensively) ask if she wants to go somewhere and get busy.

IF (and I know this is a huge IF) someone had the balls to do this, how do you think those numbers (shock and awe) would compare to somebody who simply approaches when he’s confident, flails around, and finally asks for the number?

Sure, the shock and awe guy would get rejected a lot. But you’d be surprised how often you wouldn’t be. Now, not every girl would go somewhere right away with you, but a lot would definitely be impressed with your confidence.

And you would be INCREDIBLY confident just after a few times.

Now, I’m not recommending that you do this. And you’re likely thinking, “Yea, but I don’t WANT short 
term sex, I want a relationship!”

So why not try the “shock and awe” relationship opener?

“Hey, I think you’re cute, and I’m wondering if you have an equally interesting personality. Maybe we might have enough in common to at least be friends, or maybe even fall in love, after we get to know each other. Why don’t you give me your phone number, and I’ll call you later on so we can get together?”

How do you think THIS would work? If you tried it only ONCE a night on any cute enough girl that was giving you some IOI’s?

Now, this certainly WOULDN’T guarantee your success, but it would certainly short cut all the dancing around the topic most people do in the club! (See what I did there?)

Now, you don’t have to necessarily say this, but if you keep this IDEA in the forefront of you mind while you approach, and while you’re talking to her, it would certainly make things at lot clearer.

Try it, and see:

Girlfriend Generator

How Do You Decide?

Two Skills For Ultimate Success

Two Crucial Life Skills

Most people like being told what to do.

Not all the time, of course. But whenever there’s any kind of doubt, question or uncertainty, one common response is to look around for some kind of authority.

When I visited my friend in the hospital after she had her first kid, her and her husband, both professionals, looked completely at a loss.

She looked and me and said, “I have idea what I’m supposed to do!”

If you’ve got kids of your own, you know the feeling.

This is both the best part AND the worst part about being a fully functioning adult.

One is that nobody tells you what to do, so you can do whatever you want.

But since there’s nobody telling you what to do, if you mess up, it’s all you.

This can be pretty terrifying, leaving a lot of us stuck in indecision.

Sometimes even the simplest decisions can take forever, if we’re the only ones deciding.

For many situations, having one “decision maker” is pretty efficient. I was at this small seminar once, and the instructor decided we’d order some pizzas for lunch. Just deciding what kind to get, that would satisfy everybody, took over thirty minutes!

It’s definitely a balance. A very delicate one. You’ve got to be bold enough to make the decisions that really count, and know when to step back and let somebody else do the deciding when it’s not that important, at least to you.

Those that tend to do best have two very important qualities. One is they make a decision and stick to it. They don’t waffle around and wait for everybody’s input in hopes of avoiding the dreaded failure.

They quickly weigh their options, and decide.

As the ancient Samurais said, “Every decision must be made within seven breaths.”

The second crucial skill is to fully accept the responsibility of your decisions. No blaming, no guilt, no self-punishment.

With these two skills alone, you can get very, very far in life. Because every single decision you make will give you more experience and knowledge, that will make the rest even better.

Even if you’re starting from zero, with only a vague idea of where you’re going, and how you want to get there.

Choose, take action, measure results, own them, and choose again.

Is it really that simple?

Once you get rid of all those emotional blind spots and obstacles (that EVERYBODY has), yes. It is.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

How To Find Your Ideal Girlfriend

Always Be Prospecting

Always Be Prospecting

There are two phases of life. Being a kid, and being an adult.

Little kids only get stuff when the grown ups give it to them. Adults only get stuff when they get out there and interact with other adults, and create some kind of mutually beneficial exchange.

Of course, there are some adults who get things by stealing, or manipulating others. Hopefully you’re not one of those.

Not only because it’s immoral, but it’s a horrible strategy that only works in the short term.

So, how do you get whatever you want as a rational thinking adult?

First, you’ve got to figure out what you want. Then you’ve got to find somebody that has it. Then you’ve got to figure out what they want. If you’ve each got what each other wants, then you can make a trade.

Luckily, in advanced economies, we’ve created money that can get around this “coincidence of wants.”

But this only works if you can pay somebody money for what you want, and then they can go and pay somebody that same money for what they want.

But what if what you want is not based on money? What if you’re after a relationship with an attractive woman?

You’ve still got to play the same game. Figure out what she wants, figure out what you want, and see if there’s a basis for exchange.

Granted, in relationships most of this happens unconsciously. Which means you’ve got to just get in there and see what happens. If you both have what each other want, you’ll feel it. If you don’t, you won’t.

But you’ve still got to get out there and interact with plenty of girls. Interact with them enough to find out if there’s a mutual benefit.

Generally speaking, this can happen after the first couple of face to face conversations. Get togethers, dates, whatever you want to call them.

Of course, this requires that you know what you want. And you have a pretty good idea of what you’ve got to offer. And the conversational and social skills to not only elicit these from her, and demonstrate what you’ve got.

Again, it’s crucial to understand that most of this is NOT based on any kind of overtly measurable quantities. If you show her your resume or portfolio, it probably won’t go over well.

However, you must have something in your brain besides merely a hope that she’ll accept you.

You’ve got to have an idea of what you’re looking for, and an established line of communication between you and your intuition.

Naturally, this is like any other skill. To get really good at it, you’ve got to practice. How do you practice? Start talking to and dating plenty of cute girls, that’s how!

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Being Held Back?

Blast Away Internal Obstacles With Ease

Remove Internal Obstacles

One cool concept in sales and marketing is something called a “split test.”

Like if you have some kind of company, and you are running ads that you can measure the results of, you change something. 

Then you see which of the two variations does better.

So long as you keep doing this, you’ll keep improving how well your ads are performing.

Salespeople are fond of saying, “Always be closing,” or “Always be prospecting.” Meaning you should always be looking for new customers, or always trying to “close” or convert shoppers into buyers.

Savvy marketers, on the other hand, say things like, “Always be testing.”

Meaning you’ll never know how something will work unless you try.

Even if you’ve never sold anything, and never want to sell anything, this mindset can help.

One TED Talk I saw recently was about a woman who’d decided enough was enough, and she was going to find herself a partner.

So she “reverse engineered” all of the online dating sites, and did tons of testing. She put up a bunch of different profiles, just to see which would attract the most responses.

Then she matched the ones that did best, with the ones that were true about herself.

Then she came up with some rock solid criteria of the kind of guy she was looking for, and went to work.

Just like clockwork, she found a guy, they were perfect for each other, and they got married.

While this kinds of kills the idea of a magical romance “just happening” like it does in the movies, she’s happily married to a guy who’s happily married to her.

This is what happens when you choose your goal, and make the decision to get it no matter what.

A lot of things in life can be looked at this way.

There’s billions of people, millions of places to live and work for, clubs to belong to, spiritual methods of digging deeper into your soul.

Your job is to sort through them all until you find something, that’s perfect, for you.

Sure it may take a while. A lifetime even. But that’s half the fun!

Most people have at least three or four careers their entire lives. Learning new skills and seeing where all those opportunities will lead.

With an open mind and the ability to trust yourself, there’s not much you can’t do.

One thing that CAN stand in the way is emotional baggage. 

For example, if you were offered the PERFECT job, great money, great hours, great location, great office, great support staff, but you had to give a one hour speech every week, to a room full of strangers, would you take it?

Many people wouldn’t.

This is the trouble with emotional baggage. The more you’ve got, the less options you have.

Of course, the flip side is when you ditch your baggage, everything opens up.

EVERYTHING.

Get started:

Emotional Freedom

Be Excellent – Be Gone

How To Get Girls

Make Yourself Scarce

If you’ve never seen a movie called, “The Tao Of Steve,” you should check it out. Not because it’s a well made movie or anything. The main character is this PUA named Steve, and while it does have a sappy, Hollywood ending, the character does convey some powerful points.

Namely, the secret of getting girls is to “Be excellent, be gone.”

Now, this can easily be misinterpreted, and like any vague truism, how you apply it makes all the different. Just saying it or reading about it won’t do squat.

Be Excellent

This simply means be the BEST you can be, at SOMETHING. You don’t have to be a renaissance man, or a jack of all trades. Just be really good, and really enjoy being really good, at something. Women are hard wired to love a guy who passionate about something.

This means you’ve got something going on in your life that drives you. Some mad goal way out in the future you are pursuing. Some skill that you want to be the best out, even if it kills you.

It also means being confident and socially outgoing. If you are the best piano player in the world, but pass out in fear every time a girl smiles at you, it won’t get you very far.

You’ve got to be comfortable enough talking about your passion in a way that inspires other, not for the skill itself, but how you describe it.

If you want a good character study of this, Paul  Newman’s character in “The Hustler” is perfect. He sucks in life, but he’s a pool master. And when he talks about how he loves pool, it makes his girl go crazy for him.

Be Gone

This means you aren’t dependent on any one person’s approval. You can bounce on a dime if the situation turns against you. While you enjoy her company, if she violates any of your spoken boundaries, you’re gone faster than a puff of smoke in a hurricane.

It also means you don’t hang around longer than you need to. Instead of hanging around on the first or second date hoping to eventually get lucky, you get in, you have fun, and you leave.

You are confident enough that if she doesn’t want to see you again, somebody else will. Most guys are terrified since they imagine this will lower her desire for you. Luckily, it has the opposite effect.

As Steve describes, “We want what we can’t have.” This, of course, invokes the Law of Scarcity. If you are excellent AND you are scarce, this will significantly increase her desire for you.

This is why too much texting, too much calling, too much fawning will KILL your chances with any one girl.

The take away from all this?

Choose some skills that you will pursue whether or not they get you laid.

Be comfortable talking about your passion about these skills as socially appropriate, and let your passion shine when appropriate.

Make yourself scarce.

Do this, and you’ll have your pick of dream girls to choose from.

Own Your Life – Own Your World

Become A Leader

Have You Got This?

One of the greatest things you can say to yourself, (and mean it) is, “I got this.”

Maybe you’re sitting with your friends and something happens, and nobody knows what to do.

Then you say, “I got this,” and take care of business.

Sometimes it means you’re the one paying. Sometimes it means you’re the one speaking up for the group. Sometimes it means you’re the one that’s going to figure out what to do.

They’ve done plenty of studies about how humans interact with each other in groups. They put a bunch of strangers together, and there’s ALWAYS a person who emerges as the leader.

Whether you’re stuck on an island, or stuck in an elevator. Pretty soon, somebody is going to be the leader.

Usually this doesn’t happen like on TV. There’s no fighting, or wrestling for dominance. There’s just one guy or girl who’s got that, “I got this” vibe a little stronger than the rest.

Maybe you’ve been in that situation?

Something happens. You’re with people you don’t really know. You look around and pretty quickly assume that everybody else is waiting for somebody to tell them what to do. So you step up and say, “I got this.”

What’s funny is they take ten separate groups, and take all the “leaders” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of THEM becomes the new leader. They also take the lowest ranking “followers” and put them together, and lo and behold, one of them becomes the new leader.

The more you can say “I got this,” the more you’ll be chosen as the natural leader in more situations.

No matter WHAT you do in life, this can ONLY help you.

More money, more choices, more respect, less trouble, etc.

How do you get this ultra self-confident level of natural authority and power?

Tap into your true nature.

See, all humans come into the world with a magnificent set of skills and abilities. But most of us get them hammered out of us for all kinds of reasons. By the time we reach young adulthood, all of our genius, creativity, boldness and fearlessness has been forcefully replaced by timidity, anxiety, a need to be told what to do, and fear.

To reclaim your power, all you’ve got to do is peel back that layer of crap that’s been layered on top.

To reveal your true nature within.

Then you can show the world who you REALLY are.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

The Biggest Killer Of Game

The Biggest Roadblock To Success

The Most Deadly Mind Trap

There’re a lot of things that can mess up your game with women. Many ways guys self sabotage themselves.

Looking at her boobs when you should be looking into her eyes. Not number closing when she’s most likely to comply. Waiting too long before you approach. Calling too many times between get-togethers. Texting too often, not often enough. This list can go on and on.

There is however, one “meta” self-sabotage that will absolutely destroy you. And this doesn’t only apply to game, it applies to life as well. It’s very insidious, as most guys who are guilty (which is a lot of guys) not only don’t realize they are guilty, but are rarely able to admit it if it’s pointed out.

What makes it even worse is that it’s sometimes true. But this doesn’t help.

What it is?

A simple idea. A simple thought that once you believe it, once you use it to justify your inability to get what you want, you’re done.

“It’s not my fault.”

Blaming people other than ourselves is one of the easiest things to do. Politicians have known this ever since democracy was invented. Once those smooth talkers found out that if all they did was tell people their problems weren’t their fault, they could win every single time.

And what makes it worse is sometimes it’s true. It really ISN’T your fault.

Say you approach a girl, and she turns you down. Not because your game was weak, but simply because you weren’t her type. Maybe you reminded her of her step-brother who molested her in third grade. Who knows.

This really ISN’T your fault. But guess what? Because something isn’t your fault DOES NOT MEAN it is somebody else’s fault. Often times it is NOBODY’S fault.

Many guys spend all times of time and energy blaming women, feminism, the current dating market, their background, and on and on.

Why?

Because once you accept that it’s somebody else’s fault, you don’t have to try anymore.

And believe it or not, as much as guys claim they’d do ANYTHING to get laid, they aren’t willing to do what it takes.

Given the option of approaching ten or twenty women a week, and NOT getting what they want, and approaching ZERO women but blaming somebody else, many guys would choose option two.

If you really ARE willing to do whatever it takes to find your dream girl, simply admit that most of the time, it’s nobody’s fault that she turned you down.

It’s not a rejection, it’s a mismatch. Her criteria and yours.

Now, this is very hard to see if you don’t HAVE any criteria, which is why getting some will make it easier.

That way, you’ll ditch the “please accept me” mindset, and take on the “are we right for each other mindset.”

Do this, and it will be a lot easier to find her.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Lean Forward With Perfect Balance

Always Stay In Balance

Stable or Unstable?

When I was a kid me and my buddies went to a local amusement park.

We were on this one roller coaster, and just as we were about to be “launched,” the operator gave us some advice.

“If you lean forward, you’ll go faster!”

We all dutifully leaned forward.

Then we debated over the next several weeks if that really worked, or if he was just messing with us. In our third grade minds, we could easily see both sides of the argument.

Leaning forward is a pretty good metaphor.

Sometimes you’ll be jamming along, and everything is going perfectly. Green lights, parking spaces, everybody’s laughing at your jokes. Everybody you smile at smiles back like you’re a movie star or something.

But as soon as you realize what’s going on, you can mess things up. Kind of like leaning forward in your mind. Just enough to get you that momentum, but too much and you fall over.

In physics, there’s this thing called “unstable equilibrium.” Something is at rest, and all the opposing forces are in balance (the equilibrium part) but one small push can mess everything up,

Then there’s “stable equilibrium” where no matter how hard you push, the system will go back to the way it was.

Like a marble at the bottom of a big glass bowl with huge sides. No matter how much you push the marble up one of the sides, it will slide down to where it started.

On the other hand, if you flip the bowl over, and balance the marble on top, it can stay there. But even a small breeze will knock it off.

It seems there’s a perfect balance of “positive expectation” as it rests between our conscious and unconscious minds.

Too much in the conscious mind, and there’s not enough deep belief, or “knowing” that is required.

It’s like having a slight suspicion that everything’s going to work out when it does. Like you’re surprised, but not really.

Too much expectation and you fall on you face. Pride goes before a fall, as they say.

One thing that can throw a monkey wrench into the whole process is any kind of nervousness, anxiety or fear.

Being an overly cautious driver, for example, will almost ensure you get all the red lights.

You see a signal way up ahead, and you start slowing down because you’re afraid you’ll get caught in the intersection, so you almost hope the light turns red before you get there.

Sure, certain things SHOULD cause us fear, as they keep us physically safe. But most of the things we are afraid of, will never happen. 

Most of the things we are worried about exist only in our imagination, and are based on false memories and assumptions about ourselves.

Get rid of those, and it will be MUCH EASIER to lean forward through life.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

How To Become A Natural

Get Better Every Day

Get Better Every Day

One of the most powerful ways to rapidly improve your game, whatever that means to you, is daily journaling.

Now, this isn’t a quick fix, and won’t instantly give you massive amounts of confidence and number closing, but you will consistently improve your skills with this method.

It requires ten or fifteen minutes a day. First, you think of anything you did that particular day that had anything to do with women. Anything from any kind of potential eye contact to a kiss close.

The first thing you do is write down what happened. Be as objective as possible. Don’t write down any feelings or intentions or imaginary intentions of reasons for her behavior.

Write down what you did, and how she responded. Or what you didn’t do, and how she responded. This could be as simple as “I looked away when she made eye contact with me.”

Next is to write down what you wish you would have done. Like you wish you would have held eye contact longer, or you wish you would have said “hi,” or said something differently.

Next, you imagine the best case scenario of how she would have responded to what you wish you would have done. 

Finally, imagine that in your mind, with as much detail and emotions as possible. The thing you wish you would have done, and her best case response.

Play it through in your mind several times. See it from third person perspective (you watching you do it) and the first person perspective (you living through it).

The more you do this, the more you’ll program your brain it actually do the new behavior automatically and spontaneously. You won’t even have to think about it. You’ll just do it.

Granted, this will take some time. This is most definitely NOT a quick fix, or something you only need to do a few times.

This is like exercise. Nobody starts a jogging routine and only plans to do it for a couple of weeks until they get in shape, and then go back to the couch.

When people start an exercise program, they intend to keep at it for the rest of their lives.

Ideally, think of this exercise the same way. Start today, and do this every single day, for the rest of your life. 

This works especially well if you’re inside of a relationship. This works especially well in sales. In fact, this pretty much works in all areas of life!

If you started today, and picked one small behavior each and every day to “rewrite” and program into your brain, you would be a natural before long.

The Power Of The Pen

How To Train Your Brain

Prime The Mental Pump

One powerful self development tool is writing.

There’s all kinds of ways it can help.

One is to simply carry a small notebook around with you. Any time you’ve got an idea, take some time to write it down.

Using an actual paper and pen is helpful. It takes a bit more time than typing, and is more of an involved process from a mind-body perspective.

So whatever you are writing down, your subconscious is going to figure it’s pretty important, since you’re making the effort.

Otherwise it may think your texting or tweeting something not so important.

Sometimes I’ll go to a coffee shop, sit there with my notebook and pen, and just start writing. After a few minutes, it’s hard to keep up with my brain. Once you train your subconscious that you’re really serious, it will start feeding you all kinds of creative ideas.

I usually make a list of things I want to do, and the list is WAY longer than I have time. Which means I get to choose the best ones, and try them out.

If you’re the type who likes using your dreams, this is also a good method. Keeping a notepad and pen next to your bed, so when you wake up, just write down a few ideas from sleep.

Some of the best inventions came to geniuses while they slept.

Now, were they geniuses because they wrote down their dreams or did they wrote down their dreams because they were geniuses?

It’s very likely that one follows the other.

Another way writing can help is to review things that didn’t go so well. You can actually use this to rewrite your memory.

Take something that happened, and write it out.

Then write it out the way you wish it had happened. 

If you wanted to say something, but didn’t, or said something but didn’t want to, this is perfect.

Just write out what happened, and write out what you wish would have happened. Then come up with a reasonable scenario that would have happened if you did you wish you would have done.

Then take a few minutes remembering your NEW memory. Since you took the time to write it out, your subconscious will most likely go along with it.

And next time you are in a similar situation, you’ll actually respond as if you DID do the “rewritten” memory. Which means you’ll perform better, whatever that means to you.

If you did this once per day, you’d slowly be building up a huge collection of real successes. Which, of course, would spur even more successes.

You can not only do this to your daily activities, but your entire history as well.

Rewrite it however you’d like it to be.

So you can have whatever life you want.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom