Author Archives: mindpersuasion

Secrets Of Natural Seduction

Signs Are Everywhere

Respond To The Ever Present Signs

If you want to be a natural with the ladies, so you can more quickly find your dream girl, you’ve got to leave plenty of childhood ideas behind.

One thing that many guys complain about, when they’ve finished a date but haven’t been able to “close” effectively, is that they didn’t get any “green lights.”

Meaning they didn’t see any obvious signals that told them it was OK to lean in for the kiss or whatever.

Ideally, you need to get to the level where you can interpret signals that are kind of fuzzy. You’ll never get a girl looking straight at you and say, “Ok, you can kiss me now!” Unless you’re in some kind of goofy romance movie.

In reality, most of the signals will be fuzzy, and unclear. It’s your job, as a man, to notice those signals, and act on them. And to dial it back a little bit if you go too far.

Many guys don’t like hearing this. Many guys like to be told exactly what to do, exactly what signs to look for when it’s “safe” to kiss her, etc.

But if you wait for a sure thing, it’s never going to come.

Think of it like the stock market. There’s no sure thing. There’s no perfect set up. Any stock you buy can tank right away. Any stock you don’t buy can to straight to the moon. It’s your job as an investor to take a risk and pay close attention to the stock’s behavior after you buy it, and act accordingly.

Or think of it like a boxing match. Every single thing you do is based on what your opponent does. If what you’re doing isn’t working, you’ve got to change things up.

Imagine asking your boxing coach which specific moves to use, before the match even started. He’d look at you like you were nuts. You just get in there, throw a few punches, and see what happens.

How does this apply to dating, or pretty much the whole spectrum of male-female involvement?

The exact same way. There are ZERO guarantees. There’s no surefire, step by step method. There’s only those signals that girls are ALWAYS giving off. Then there’s your ability to interpret them, and then take a risk.

Then, just like the stock market, once you take a risk, you simply need to pay careful attention to how she responds, and act accordingly.

Are you getting more positive signals? Great, keep moving forward. Is she turning cold on you? Step back a bit and try something different.

Is there any way to predict how she’ll respond to you? None whatsoever. It’s all based on you, her, and the energy between you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. 

So long as you keep playing the game, it’s all good.

Are You Frustrated By Your Jigsaw Puzzle?

Understand The Deep Structure

How To Practice Deep Structure

Sometimes you can tell a lot more about what’s unsaid, than what IS said.

Or HOW it is said.

It’s been said that it’s not the notes that make the music, but the spaces in between.

Language is the same way.

Long ago, Chomsky discovered the difference between “surface structure” and “deep structure.”

Now, this was kind of misinterpreted, and applied in places where it didn’t really belong. They even changed the names to “d-structure” and “s-structure” to avoid confusion.

But it doesn’t take away from the idea that there’s the words we say on top, and the meaning we are trying to represent with those words.

Even if you’ve got some brilliant ideas, you’ve got to get them out of your head, through that very small “language filter” and into the heads of others so they not only understand your ideas, but see the value in them.

If you’ve ever thought of something brilliant to say, only to spit out a bunch of jumbled word salad, then you know this isn’t easy.

If you told your friends you were studying “language” they would assume you were studying for a trip to a foreign country, or some class.

If you told them you were studying English, they’d think you were nuts.

Which is why when you DO make it a point to “practice” how you use your words, you’ll have a HUGE advantage over everybody else.

The trick is to first get them talking about what they want, the things they like. Then take your message, WHATEVER it is, and phrase in a way that’s a perfect fit for their brain.

If you’ve ever been in sales, you know it’s a numbers game. Or at least that’s what they tell us. Sure, if you spit out the same memorized pitch to every potential customer, you DO have to rely on numbers.

Kind of like having ONE jigsaw puzzle piece and trying to find a “natural fit.”

But if you take the time to not only elicit what’s important to your customers (or friends or potential lovers) AND structure your communication so they’ll hear it based on what’s important to THEM, then you’ll be in pretty good shape.

Meaning you can take your jigsaw puzzle piece and change it however you want, so it will fit wherever you want.

To learn how to do this, check this out:

Conversational Hypnosis

How To Be Your Own Dating Coach

Drill Yourself To Seduction Genius

Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths

Most guys do very well when they have a “dating coach.”

But the reason isn’t why most people think. Dating coaches don’t know anything more than your random Internet Keyboard jockey. 

But what they DO do (if they are worth their fees) is keep you honest.

When you think about it, most coaches are like this. Even sports coaches. Some of the greatest coaches of all time were lousy players. They aren’t great coaches because of their playing skills. They are great coaches because they have an objective view of their players. Their strengths, their weaknesses. And most crucially, specific exercises to turn their weaknesses into strengths.

So if you were to hire an expensive dating coach, this is what they’d do. They’d ask you about your strengths and weaknesses. The part of dating that is easy, and the part that is hard. Then they’d simply give you homework assignments, to keep practicing the hard stuff, until it becomes easy.

Then you’d just keep getting better and better. Then they’d help you elicit the criteria that is most important to you in finding your ideal dream girl. Then they’d help you come up with strategies and techniques to “test her” for those criteria without spending a lot of time and money. Usually on the first couple of dates.

How much would a coach like this cost? Probably a few thousand dollars. How long would it take? Maybe a few months.

And for a lot of guys, this would be money well spent. Think about it, if you could spend five grand, and be pretty much guaranteed that within six months you’d be in a relationship with your dream girl, wouldn’t it be worth it?

What’s that? Don’t have five grand laying around. No problem!

Why?

Because you can be your own coach.

You’ve just got to create some “space” to be a coach, and then use the rest of the time to be a “player.”

How do you do that?

First, you’ve got to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Then, as a coach, you’ve got to give yourself assignments. Do this at night. Daily journaling is a great way to do this.

Simply write down anything you did to further your skills. Then write down something you could do the very next day that would further them even more. Do this while being completely objective.

Then simply take that as your next day’s assignment. Some days you’ll do fine. Some days you won’t. Big deal.

But you’ll continue to make forward progress.

This does require you be honest with yourself. And this does require you actually DO your daily assignments.

But if you do, amazing things will happen.

Are you willing?

How To Be Your Own Eye In The Sky

Spy On Your Future

Peer Into Your Own Future

What’s the difference between fate and free will?

Whatever your thoughts are, here’s a mind experiment to make it more confusing.

Let’s say you’re jamming along down the freeway. 

At the same time, there’s some guy way up in a spy plane looking at all the freeways. He notices a wreck about ten miles ahead of where you’re currently driving.

So he KNOWS that in about three to five minutes, you are going to slow, and then you are going to stop.

But you have no idea.

Now, there’s a lot of ways to explain this, in terms of free will or fate.

One way might be that the person who has the most information is in the best position to exercise his or her “free will,” while people with less information are locked into “fate.”

Most people go through life and readily give up their choices, or their free will, to fate. It’s easy that way. If you rely on fate to give you good things or bad things, you’ll never feel like a failure.

Sure, you won’t usually get very much, but you won’t feel as if you’ve tried and gotten rejected.

I’m sure you can understand the attraction of this position. Getting rejected sucks. A lot.

But if you plan your life around what you DON’T want to have happen, rather than what you do, you ARE leaving it up to the gods.

But what if you were to look at your life like the guy in the spy plane?

What if you got a really, really big picture of where you were going?

Instead of each situation being a life or death, fail or succeed, win or lose, you’d see it as one step along the MASSIVE journey that is your life.

If you practiced looking at your life in this way, it would be easier to “shift” between “big picture” thinking and “in the moment” thinking.

What if the guy in that spy plane told the guy in the car about the wreck, as soon as it happened?

He’d know about it before everybody else, and would know EXACTLY which roads to take to avoid the accident, and get to wherever he was going. Safe and on time.

What if you learned how to do this? Looking at the big picture, and at the same time, looking out through your own eyes inside each and every situation?

This is what you’ll learn in the Self-Confidence course.

A way to choose several VISIONS for your life, so you can easily place any situation where it belongs, giving you an inside angle.

Who Controls Your Life’s Meaning?

Are You Relying On Pre-Defined Meanings?

How To Define Your Own

If somebody gives you an egg, what does it mean?

Naturally, it depends on the context. If you’re making a cake, it means you’re one step closer to eating something sweet.

If you’re in the middle of an egg fight, it’s time to throw it at the enemy.

If you’re a high school hooligan, and you’re in the middle of vandalizing a “friend’s” house, it means something completely different.

What if somebody hands you a iron bar? Does it mean you can finally escape from prison, or they’re helping you change a tire?

What if somebody hands you a stack of money? Does it mean you’re on easy street, or now you’re in debt to the devil?

Very little of what happens to us has any meaning that is absolutely set in stone.

There is a LOT more flexibility than most of us realize.

Of course, if trying to “buck the trend” makes your brain hurt, and you’d rather be told what things mean, so you can get back to your bag of Cheetos and TV shows, then this won’t make much sense.

But I suspect you’re not the Cheetos eating, TV watching couch blob like most people these days.

You suspect there’s much more to life than simply taking what “they” give you.

You want more. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.

And you know there IS more.

There’s plenty of sappy statements that describe the ability to look out into the world and make it mean what you want it to.

But there are scarce few who actually make it a habit of doing that.

Most people are desperate for somebody to “tell them what it means.”

Other people dare to wonder, “Hmm, I wonder what meanings I’ll discover today.”

What about you?

Are you ready to realize that the meaning of every single situation really IS up for grabs?

Unless you’re taking a math of physics test, you can “play around” with meanings all you want.

In fact, society is ruled by those who control not events, but the meaning of events.

And you can do the same.

Maybe not rule the world, but you can certainly rule YOUR world.

Just figure out what you want in life, and see how easily you can mold situations to fall in line.

And instead of seeing the world with scary situations that may end badly (as most people do), you’ll see situations as stepping stones to your inevitable success.

How To Become The Ultimate Alpha

Are You Trying To Salivate?

Are You Trying To Be A Wolf?

Girls will always go for the alpha.

But what does that really mean? If you’re a wolf, it means the biggest most fiercest dude in the pack. The one who can physically dominate all the rest.

And for most other animals, this is true as well. Basically it means the one dude who can control the situation. In the animal kingdom, this means by sheer brute force, nothing else.

What about humans? Most guys mistakenly assume guys are the same. The biggest, toughest, most physically fit. To be sure, if you go by Hollywood movies (which are written by NON-alphas) this holds true.

But what about real life?

Remember, the measure of an alpha is the guy who can hold control the best. 

So who controls people the best? And in the most situations?

To be sure, in many situations, the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious guy. But put this guy in a boardroom, and he’ll most likely be WAY over his head. Maybe on a desert island he’ll do OK. But not in real life.

For one thing, this is situationally dependent. And since we’re talking about being an alpha to attract the females, we need to think about how she’s interpreting this alphaness.

Does she want alpha who’s ONLY alpha in that particular situation? Or is she going to be attracted to a guy who is likely to be alpha in MOST situations he finds himself in?

Remember, the more situations she imagines he’ll be alpha in, the better.

The boardroom, the bedroom, the locker room, AND the desert island situation.

How can you demonstrate ALL that?

Easy. Show her that no matter what happens, you can not only handle it, but come out on top. This means you’ve always got to feel confident in your ability to get your needs met no matter HOW the situation turns out.

Which means you’ve FIRST got to determine what your needs are. Most guys don’t even get this far. They just hope they’ll get something good, and not get something bad.

So if you first determine your basic outcome for the particular situation, then you’ll be already ahead.

Then you simply figure out how to “work the room” to get your outcome.

If you’re going into a boardroom situation, then you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the meeting. If you’re hanging with your boys, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome in mind for the evening.

If you’re going on a date, you’ve got to have an ideal outcome for the evening as well.

If you can not only come up with an ideal outcome for each and every situation, and make that outcome come true, no matter what happens, (and crucially to convince everybody else it’s the best outcome) THEN she’ll see you as the ultimate alpha. 

And she’ll never want to leave you.

Navigate The Maze Of Life

Trial and Error Is The Only Way Through

The Magic Of Trial And Error

Imagine you were at the beginning of a big maze. One that was about 50 meters on either side. Made up of bales of hay or something. And with you, you had a can of spray paint, so you could mark your path.

You also had a backpack with some food, water, and other necessities. Basically, you had plenty of time to get to the other end of the maze. You were the only one there. No monsters, no other people trying to mess with you.

And imagine, on the other end of the maze was a fantastic prize. Something you could carry with you, back to the starting point. And once you figured out how to get to the end point, every time you brought the prize back to the starting point, another prize would magically appear.

Now, the first time through would probably be pretty sketchy. You’d make a lot of wrong turns. You’d run into a lot of dead ends. But if you were smart, and you used your can of spray paint wisely, after once or twice through the maze it would be pretty easy.

Pretty soon, going from start to finish would only take a few minutes. And since each time through would get you a new prize, you’d start piling up the goods.

Now, think about the very first time through. Would you be nervous? Of course. Would this keep you from starting? Of course not.

This is precisely how life is. We are going somewhere good, but we aren’t sure how to get there. Sometimes we take wrong turns, some times we  have to back track. But so long as we keep the end in mind, and remember what we did right, and what we did wrong, we simply can not fail.

Yet many guys are stuck. They are stuck on one side of the room, where literally right on the other side are gorgeous girls just waiting to be approached.

Will you say the right thing the first time? Most likely not. But just like the  maze, all you need to do is keep trying, and remembering what works and what doesn’t, and you’ll get better each time.

And each time you get a prize, they just keep getting better. Sure, you might start small. A smile and some nice eye contact. A nice conversation. A phone number. A couple of decent dates. So long as you keep trying, and keep remembering what works and what doesn’t, you HAVE to keep getting better and better.

Unfortunately, many guys are terrified to try. They imagine getting stuck is going to be much worse than it really is. They imagine horrible monsters hiding behind every corner of the maze, when they’re really none.

This is true of not only girls, but everything else worth getting in life as well. Fantastic careers, prosperity, health, wealth, anything. And you’ve already got everything you need to get started.

So get started!

The Cutting Edge of Forward Momentum

The Magic of Forward Momentum

Generate Long Range Vision

They have this thing in economics called “disruptive technology.”

Everything’s going swell in one particular industry, and then somebody invents something new.

And it pretty much shakes everything up.

For example, when Henry Ford came along, the horse and buggy industry took it pretty hard.

When the Internet came along, print newspapers started going belly up. When Kindle came along, traditional publishers started going out of business.

The bottom line is that technology, which really means creative people at the forefront of society, is always marching forward.

While it’s pretty scary to get caught unaware, it’s pretty thrilling (and EXTREMELY profitable) to be on the cutting edge.

Even if you’re just a consumer, having all these things invented that make life easier is pretty cool.

Ever since I switched to Kindle, for example, I can bring my entire library with me everywhere I go. That is something I couldn’t have even imagined only a few years ago.

Before, if I brought a book to a coffees shop, and the book sucked, there wasn’t much I could do.

Both society wide an on an individual level, life is a constant forward motion of learning and discovery.

Or at least it can be. It SHOULD be, but many of us are afraid.

Many of us are afraid of change, afraid of learning new things, and afraid of the unknown.

To be sure, that feeling of “not knowing what to do” isn’t the best in the world.

But on the flip side, knowing perfectly well what’s going to happen, and being completely prepared, is pretty boring.

It’s like sitting on your couch eating familiar food and watching the same movie for the fiftieth time.

Sure, that might be a great plan if there’s a blizzard outside, but it’s not exactly the best strategy for a fulfilled life.

On the other hand, charging forward all the time without thinking can be pretty dangerous.

Naturally, having a balance is best. Being in that “sweet spot” of accepting the unknown while carrying within you that natural attitude of learning, discovering, and accepting all feedback that comes your way.

Being able to look out into a situation, and not know what’s going to happen, but still feel confident enough to make a move anyway is a pretty good skill to have.

Especially in our rapidly changing society and economy.

One thing that can help considerably is by having several long term “visions” for your life.

Meaning no matter what situation you find yourself in, you know how you can leverage it to your benefit.

Fully participating, and fully appreciating every interaction.

That’s what having strong self confidence is REALLY all about.

To fire up your own self confidence, so you can fully appreciate everything life has to offer, check this out:

Is Game Getting In The Way?

Simpler May Be Better

Sometimes Less Is More

There’s a belief that without any kind of structured “game” then guys would be helpless.

Meaning that unless there were guys teaching other guys how to talk to girls, date girls and hopefully get laid with girls, then it would otherwise never happen.

Now, there’s a few things wrong with this theory. To be sure, it does indeed help to know a little bit of what to say. And it helps A LOT to have a group of guys who have been there to share your experiences with, so you can do better next time.

But often times, when guys talk about “game” they are talking way beyond the basics of mutual male support.

Firstly, lets consider guys a hundred years ago. Obviously, they got laid, as there are many more people here than now than there were then. And they generally stayed in long lasting relationships, as the divorce rates back then were much lower than they are now.

And many guys will point to this as the very reason we need game. Girls are so low quality these days, they’ll say, that guys need some kind of super ninja tactics.

But that may be making the problem worse.

Now, let’s define the problem as not being able to meet quality girls for quality relationships.

How does game help this? Generally speaking, any kind game is only a short term strategy. It’s very, very hard to employ any kind of social technology over the long term.

Even politicians know this. That’s why they are always super vague when they speak. They know that if they are specific on any particular issue, they’ll likely contradict themselves later on.

So if you’re using any kind of technology to get girls interested in you, it’s definitely going to work in the short term.

But short term flings are made from much different ingredients than long term relationships.

Short term flings are based on short term interests. They necessarily overlook elements of compatibility and mutually shared experiences.

On the other hand, long term relationships are based on mutual physical interest, but only as an opening ingredient.

For any person to commit to another person, think of what’s involved. A lot of time, money, energy, and most importantly, opportunity cost.

For every hour you’re expecting that other person to spend with you, they CAN’T spend it doing anything else.

So you’re basically asking them to decide that the time they spend with you is the very BEST choice they can make.

Now, think about this. For anybody to spend time with somebody, at expense of all else, they’d better be getting their needs met. They better be with somebody that shares a lot of their interests. They better be with somebody that is got the same basic world views and life plans.

Otherwise, you’re asking for somebody without any world views, without any life plans, and without any idea of what they want. Somebody that will voluntarily chuck everything just to be with you.

Sure, game works in the short term. But it may be keeping you from finding that special lady that will only show her true self to you over a natural course of time. Without the social manipulation of any kind of game.

Something to consider.

Your Personal Road To Riches

Can You Paint By Numbers To Riches?

Is Step By Step Success Possible?

Most people would love a “paint by the numbers” system of success.

It doesn’t really matter what field. Relationships, business, health.

It seems us humans are hard wired to look for shortcuts. So when some savvy marketer comes along and gives us some secret formula that he discovered while hiking through some hidden cave in Tibet, we start salivating.

While that seems compelling from the inside out, let’s take a look from the outside in.

To be sure, doing anything mechanical WILL have a proven, step by step system. One that leaves no room for error, or mistakes.

Like rebuilding an engine, or baking a cake, or traveling from point A to point B. All you need is a simple, step by step system to follow, and so long follow the steps in order, you’ll be OK.

But whenever we do ANYTHING that involves other people, there’s really no simple method that works for everybody.

The “secret method” can ONLY be vague, at best.

Humans are a HUGE collecting of continuously changing variables, so if you want to create ANYTHING that’s based on the cooperation of others, there IS going to be a LARGE amount of winging it.

And this means doing stuff that won’t work, doing stuff that may have the opposite effect, and doing stuff that will work a million times better than we’d hoped.

To make it even more confusing, we’ll never know until AFTER we try.

To make even MORE confusing-er, we humans tend to look back at things that worked out and “rewrite” history, to make ourselves look like super heroes.

We say things like, “See, I KNEW that was going to happen!”

Or, “I had a feeling he’d say that!”

Now, most people are pretty uncomfortable doing things when they have no idea how it’s going to come up.

Hence our repeated tendency (since pretty much the dawn of time) to try or buy “secret solutions.”

But the bottom line is that unless you’re willing to take risks, accept and learn from ALL feedback, you won’t get very far.

The GOOD news is that changing your mindset, and doing some consistent mental practice, you can learn to actually HAVE FUN doing things when the outcome is uncertain.

Once you start to EXPECT and look forward to any feedback, (rather than pin you hopes on ONLY good feedback) life really becomes an incredibly fun journey.

Filled with learning, growing, success in all areas, and plenty other ideas to be discovered.