Category Archives: Approach Anxiety

Real Game Or Paper Game?

How To Develop Solid Inner Game

Become A Natural Seducer

What’s the difference between paper game and real game?

First, let’s consider the different reason girls go for certain guys. Every girl has a list of what she thinks she wants in a man. These are socially acceptable things like a decent income, decent parents, a sense of humor, good friends, no prison record, etc.

On the other hand, there are things a girl unconsciously responds to. Thing she can’t help. The things that create REAL attraction. These are less “definable” things like self confidence, charisma, assertiveness, and always feeling in control of his frame anywhere, any time.

Now, if a girl is super lucky, she’ll meet a guy who satisfies both categories. How likely is that?

Consider the ideal girl for each guy. A super sweetheart, cute face, nice body, good upbringing ,but a total freak in between the sheets.

How likely is this?

For guys, study after study shows that we like freaks for short term flings, but “good girls” for long term relationships.

Girls are the same way. They like the bad boy in their bed once in a while, but they want to hook their wagon to the nice guy with the decent income.

Even genetic studies have shown that ten or twenty percent of the time, they’re married to the good guy, but making babies with the bad boy.

Does this mean that all girls are evil sociopath’s and we should hide in the closet?

Not in the least.

But as a guy going out into the world, just realize that having “paper game” will only take you so far. Some guys assume that “paper game” is all you need.

But when it comes down to it, real game will trump paper game all the time.

Even if you’ve got not much going on for you financially, developing real game will not only get you good results with the ladies, but good results in life.

All those real game qualities (self confidence, frame control, mad social skills) will also work VERY WELL in pretty much any business situation.

You may even say that this “real game,” or more correctly, “inner game” is THE most important skill to cultivate in life.

Because once you’ve got rock solid inner game, money, jobs, careers, ladies, those will be easy. They won’t be automatic, but you’ll feel much more in charge.

You’ll have the experience of walking into a place and noticing that all the girls are noticing you, and hoping that you come and talk to them.

How do you improve your inner game?

Outer practice, and inner practice.

Outer practice is just getting out there and being a human. Interact with people. Practice feeling comfortable in strange situations. Practice holding your frame in uncomfortable situations. Practice speaking your mind when you know most people will disagree with you. Practice starting conversations with strangers and making them smile and feel good because of you.

You Can Learn Inner Practice Here:

Why You Should Be A Qualifier Of Women

Have A List And Stick To It

Make Her Pass Your Tests

When a guy is checking out a girl, he’s making a LOT of assumptions about her.

Plenty of guys only need a picture of a girl to literally fall in love with her.

Now, think about what’s going on for this to happen. They’re basically assuming all kinds of things about her personality, her likes, dislikes, beliefs, etc.

All from her pretty face and smoking body. All of which are highly made up to accentuate the “good” parts, and minimize or hide the “bad” parts.

If you’ve ever had the “let down” experience of seeing a favorite actor or actress in an interview, or give a speech during an awards ceremony, this is why.

We see them up on the screen, and imagine their characters (whose words are written by others and actions dictated by others) and actually think that’s really them, on some level.

Then when they’re in an interview, and sound nervous, super shy, or just plain dumb, it’s kind of a let down.

That’s what will happen when you walk over to that girl, imagining that she’s a super perfect princess.

And from her standpoint, it seems really creepy.

Think about it this way. Imagine some guy grabbed you off the street, and told you he had a job at a big company, and he KNEW you were perfect for the job.

He didn’t want to know your skills, your background, your education. He just told you he’d pay you alot, and he KNEW you’d be a PERFECT MATCH for the company.

On top of that, he seemed to be totally desperate to hire you.

Would you take the job? Unless you were one meal away from dying of starvation, probably not.

After all, what kind of job and what kind of company doesn’t care about your skills?

To even further expand this mind experiment, imagine that you’d just spend four years in school, working on a degree you thought was really important.

And this crazy hiring guy didn’t seem to care.

How would THAT make you feel?

This is precisely how girls feel when you walk up making all kinds of assumptions about her based ONLY on her looks.

Sure, a girl needs to look good. There’s no reason to interact (if you’re looking for a relationship of some sort) unless you’re physically attracted.

But don’t let that be your only reason.

You need to talk to her. Find out what she’s like. Figure you need at least FIVE things that must be true about any girl you date.

And only ONE of them can be her looks.

What would the other four be?

If you don’t have a list, you should have one. A good solid list of things about her that need to be true.

Then when you see a cutie, you KNOW she’s only 1/5 of the way there. The rest you need to find out via regular, old fashioned conversation.

This will not only make her easier to talk to, but YOU will be much more attractive.

Essential Free Mind Tools


mindpersuasion.com

How To Slowly Build Your Own Harem

How To Get Tons Of Girls - No Colored Feathers Required

How To Surround Yourself With Gorgeous Girls

If you want to get a girl to notice you, it’s pretty easy.

Now some guys will go to great lengths to make this happen.

They’ll spend hours a week in the gym. Deprive themselves of their favorite foods so they can get that six pack that allegedly attracts women in droves.

They’ll drop half their paycheck on clothes to hopefully get one or two ladies to turn their heads when they walk in the place.

Some will even wear big goofy hats that you can’t help but notice.

Of course, if you’re a peacock, this works pretty well. But in the world of peacocks the dude just shows up with all the other dudes, and the ladies pick the guy with the brightest feathers.

If this is the way it worked for humans, all those billboards and magazine ads you see wouldn’t be for women’s clothes, they’d be for men’s clothes.

And men would be the ones paying twice as much for dry cleaning, and worrying about what shoes to go with what outfit. 

Luckily, we’re not peacocks. We can do more than change our appearance, and then sit on the bar stool hoping we get noticed.

So, what’s the secret?

Well, you already know this, so it’s not much of a secret.

Walk over there and talk to her!

See, as much as guys pound their chests about how they’re super hero alphas who slay the ladies at every turn, most guys are TERRIFIED of talking to girls. Especially girls they are interested in.

Sure, they do a good job of covering this up, even to themselves.

Some guys even choose entire CAREERS based on the women they think it will get them.

But if you can talk a good game, NONE of that other stuff matters.

And what’s the best way to get good at talking to girls?

Well, this isn’t a trick question. 

Talk to more girls!

Here’s a mind experiment. Really think about this one.

What if you made a commitment right here, right now, to NEVER try and “pick up” a girl.

You NEVER asked for a phone number. You NEVER made any kind of suggestions about getting together.

From now on, no matter what, all you wanted to do was talk to girls and enjoy the conversation, ANY WAY you could.

Now think about this for a minute.

If you were really serious, and decided to NEVER close a girl in any way shape or form, what would happen?

Well, you’d talk to a lot more girls since there would be no pressure, only fun.

Which means you’d get more relaxed.

Which means you’d enjoy their company, and they yours.

And your subconsciously driven, natural feedback loop would kick in. Just like a little kid learns to walk based on natural feedback, your ability to make her laugh, smile and feel good would naturally and consistently improve.

And pretty soon, girls would start closing you. Remember, the ONLY RULE of this “mind experiment” is that you can’t close them. If they close you, and you’re into her, then let her have you.

What would your life be like in six months?

All the girls in your life would be TOTALLY INTO YOU.

You’d never worry about flakes, never worry about how long to wait until she called you back etc.

All the nonsense would take care of itself.

Now ask yourself this honest question:

How much action have you gotten in the last six months?

Would you be willing to do this experiment for the next six months?

Try and see what happens.

Girl Getting Mind Tools:


mindpersuasion.com

Three Secrets of Unlimited Charisma

Unleash Your Mental Magnetism

Project Your Best Image

One very valuable trait you can have is to make people feel comfortable and open around you.

For some folks, this is pretty easy and natural. For them, they just show up, act normal, and people naturally flock to them.

Luckily, this isn’t something that’s programmed into our DNA. Which means if we don’t have “it,” we can easily develop it.

Just like how some people suck at cooking, sports, or music. With some practice, you can get pretty good.

So, what’s required to get that magnetic presence that will open so many doors?

First, you’ve got to be able to accept and appreciate other people. Get rid of any idea that you need to tell people how they should behave or think. 

Leave that to the egomaniac control freaks.

Next, you’ve got to accept and appreciate yourself. This sounds simple, but it’s more complicated than we may think.

A lot of us think we need to change ourselves somehow, before we can really get out there, but this is just a self-con to keep us safe on the sidelines.

The truth is that people respond to your interpretation of you, rather than you.

Since they have no idea of your ideas, feelings, beliefs, emotions, they have to follow your lead.

If you think you are inadequate somehow, so will they. But if you truly believe you are perfect just the way you are, so will they.

The final piece of the puzzle is to have some purpose for your life. Something you are creating. Something you are building.

Again, what this is is completely up to you. But if YOU think it’s important, so will they.

There’s something about someone that has all of these qualities.

They accept people, rather than judge them, so it feels good to be around them.

They accept themselves without needing constant validation and approval from others, so it feels good to be around them.

They know where they are going in life, which gives off that “natural leader” vibe, that so many of us crave not in ourselves, but in others.

Like I said, some people naturally have all three. But if you don’t, no problem.

Because once you get them, it will be just as good.

Get Yours:

Frame Control

Find The Girl Of Your Dreams

How To Create The Perfect Relationship

Are High Quality Women A Myth?

Most guys think they need to become a shopping list to get girls.

They think they need a certain level of income, a certain amount of body fat, a certain type of clothing before a girl gives them the time of day.

Then once they get all these things, they wonder why the princesses don’t suddenly fall into their lap.

Most girls, when asked about their “perfect husband” will give you a list of things they THINK are important to them.

Pretty much anybody is asked about such an important thing as a life partner, they tell you what they think they should say, rather than what really floats their boat.

Does this mean that people are horrible liars? Not at all.

It’s just that most times, we don’t really KNOW what floats our boat. Sure, we RESPOND to it when it comes around, but unless we’re ultra honest with ourselves (which is pretty impossible, btw), we’re usually blinded when it happens.

That’s why girls tend to fall in love with guys that they “didn’t think were my type” all the time.

It’s kind of like the difference between shopping for food when you’re hungry, vs. when you’re full.

When you’re full, you buy all the crap you THINK you should want. Usually healthy stuff.

When when you’re hungry, you buy stuff you REALLY want. Usually not so healthy.

This isn’t to say that what drives attraction is or isn’t healthy, it’s just an illustration to see the difference between what we want, and what we think we want.

So if you pay too much attention to conventional wisdom about what girls want (decent income, nice clothes, sense of humor, likes changing diapers, etc) you are going to be in for a HORRIBLE shock.

What do I mean?

She sees you coming along, with your personality based on her “consciously chosen things.” Then because you fit the bill, she goes with you because on paper, you LOOK like a good “catch.”

She might even get excited about showing her friends and family her good catch.

But her emotions won’t get fired up. Not even close.

Which means once she feels she’s got you on the hook, you’ll be nothing more than an ATM to her.

A provider, not a lover.

So forget about what girls TELL you what they want. Forget about convention wisdom.

Trigger those deep desires that make her chase the man of her dreams DESPITE what her friends and family might say.

When she thinks about you, she shouldn’t think of you as some “checkmark” in her box if things to do in life.

She shouldn’t be able to get her mind off you. Her heart should race when her phone vibrates. She should be nervous as hell when getting dressed to meet you.

How do you create THOSE feelings?

Your language. Your confidence. Your energy. How you talk to her, and then pull back. How you demonstrate that you like her, but you don’t need her. How you build your life with or without her.

Learn to test for REAL attraction. Unconscious attraction. Deep and ancient desire.

The kind that makes it OBVIOIUS she can’t live without you. The girls that DON’T display this level of desire? Not worth your time. Unless you’re content to be a trophy on her mantel.

However, don’t expect these girls to come to you. You’ve got to meet them, create, build and sustain attraction. Real attraction.

Will it be easy? No. 

But once you get a girl like that, she’ll be yours for life.

Get Essential Mind Tools:


mindpersuasion.com

How To Make Your Frame Irresistibly Attractive

Get Them Feeling At Home Under Your Roof

Get People To Feel At Home In Your Presence

I watched an old episode of “Criminal Minds” last night on Netflix.

This one mastermind criminal was in an interrogation with one of the mastermind FBI agents.

Since they didn’t have any evidence, they had to get the guy to confess.

It was a great study in “frame wars,” at least how they’re imagined by Hollywood writers.

Each guy was basically having a separate conversation. The criminal was talking about how quickly his case was going to dissolve, and the FBI guy was talking about how horrible the crimes were.

Each guy would completely ignore what the other guy said, and continue on with his own conversation.

This illustrated a crucial element of Frame Control. Never “bite” on the content of your opponent.

The easiest way to maintain a frame is to simply “out frame.”

But in that TV show, each guy was trying to “out frame” in a different direction, since they had two completely opposite intentions.

A true “Frame Master” will not only out-frame, but out frame in to a frame that still respects and validates the frame of the other person. 

You just go bigger, but bigger in a way to include, not alienate, the other person.

People will be much more likely to voluntarily enter into your frame if they can keep their own.

Kind of like working at a desk that doesn’t belong to you, at a company where plenty of other people work.

Bosses have known for centuries that if they let workers “personalize” their workspace, they’ll be much more productive.

If you’ve got pictures of your friends, family, etc., you’ve effectively created your own frame within the larger frame of the company.

And so long as the company keeps paying you, and you have pretty good leeway with how you can decorate and “make home” your workspace, you’ll likely be a very loyal employee.

This is EXACTLY the best way to “out frame.”

The more people you learn how to do this with, and the more natural it becomes, the more people you’ll have that are literally BEGGING to enter into your frame.

This is one of the PRIMARY reasons some companies are FANTASTIC to work for, while others, not so much.

If you want to create a fantastic frame into which many people would love to come inside, check this out:

Are You Waiting For A Hidden Secret?

Secrets Of Life

Automatic Success Strategy

Many things are simple, but not easy.

Meaning they are simple in concept, but not so easy to do.

Take weight loss for example. Eat less, and exercise more, right?

But doing that is next to impossible when we’re surrounded by so much food.

This is an example where NOT doing something is pretty hard.

On the other hand, take something like sales. All you’ve got to do is call enough people, and you’ll be rich. 

Or, if you want a gorgeous partner, all you’ve got to do is talk to enough people, and you’ll find them.

Simple in concept, difficult in practice.

Now, most people can’t even  admit this to themselves. They imagine there’s some kind of super secret technique that’s being kept from them, through some kind of hidden conspiracy.

All they need is to find out the magic “formula” and money will fall from the sky and gorgeous people will surround them and beg for their attention.

Us humans will do anything to avoid pain, including making up stories that keep us on the sidelines.

But the quickest, and most effective way to get anything is to simply get in the mix and try something. Anything.

If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t work, do something different.

Of course, it can help if you’ve had AWESOME parents who took it upon themselves to make sure you believed that you could learn anything, do anything and overcome obstacles.

Unfortunately, most of our parents were “winging it,” simply doing the best they could to keep you from running out in the street.

This tends to have the OPPOSITE effect of building in that “can do” belief of bolding going out into the world and trying new things.

After being told by parents and teachers “no” a billion times, we tend to be a bit gun shy.

Which is why it seems to hard to do things we know we “should” be doing to get what we want, but have some kind of ready made “excuse.” 

What if you could go back and change your history? What if you could reference much more supportive experiences when you looked out into the world?

What if anytime you felt like taking some kind of action, instead of hearing those “no’s” all you heard was a voice of your choosing, saying something like, “You got this!”

What would you be able to do?

What would you be able to accomplish?

In the Frame Control course, that’s one of the things you’ll get.

A method to reprogram your “referencing system” so you’ll feel compelled to take action, instead of however you feel now.

To learn more, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Eliminate Rejection From Girls

Back Off Man, I'm A Scientist!

Never Face Rejection Again

The human brain is a pretty amazing tool.

One that’s not even close to being understood yet. 

It’s very fast, which is great for survival. But it’s not so accurate. In a sense, it’s a lot like your web browser.

When you visit a familiar site, instead of loading up all the stuff fresh, it references your browser’s cache.

This makes it load much quicker than if you had to download everything every single time.

Web servers do this as well. If the page is static, they serve up a cached copy, as it’s much quicker.

This is how the brain operates in both familiar and unfamiliar surroundings.

A long, long time ago, maybe there were people that needed to stare at something for a long time, and let the information soak in long enough to figure out what was what.

But they all got eaten by dinosaurs. Which means the only people that are left are us goofs who don’t reference reality any more than your web browser downloads every  piece of data every time you visit the same web site.

Science has measured this. They know which areas of the brain are responsible for imaginary stuff, and which part is responsible for reality stuff.

Most of the time, it’s a mix of two.

Why is this important?

Well, consider this next time you’re out checking out the ladies. One of the reasons guys get so nervous is they see some super hot girl, and make all kinds of assumptions about her.

And because are much more attracted to women based on looks, this puts us at a disadvantage.

We walk over there, already having decided that she passes all of our criteria. Only she knows nothing about us.

So we feel like we’re walking over there with her having all the power. The power to accept us, or the power to reject us.

This, of course, causes all kinds of anxiety.

But when you remember that what you’re seeing is literally an illusion, it makes it easier.

Now, this is something you’ll have to consciously remember, and practice. There’s NO magic thought that you only need to think once that will get rid of your fears.

It’s something you need to train in. Just like a mental version of Karate Kid.

But this is a good way to practice.

When you see her, don’t let your caveman get away with assuming all kinds of crap. Go over there NOT to hopefully get accepted, but to find out if she IS as hot as you think she is.

All girls have flaws. Just like all guys have flaws.

See your first approach to get a better picture of her. Withhold judgment of her, until you talk to her.

If you approach with this mindset, you’ll never get rejected.

Because you’re not trying to get accepted.

You’re just getting more information.

Powerful Mind Tools:


mindpersuasion.com

Which Memories Are You Referencing?

Choose Only Memories That Support You

Don’t Be Like C3PO

An interesting study recently has proven that a large portion of our reality is imaginary.

How do they know this?

When they hook up somebody’s brain to measure all the electrical impulses, they can see which areas light up when the test subject is perceiving something outside. They show him something he’s never seen before, and ask him specific questions about it, so they know he’s focusing outside of his mind.

Then they ask him to close their eyes, and imagine something. A completely different part of their brain lights up.

But when they show him something “familiar” BOTH parts light up. Meaning he’s creating that image partially on the fly, in real time, but also partially based on his memory.

So a lot of times, what we think we’re seeing around us REALLY IS all in our head.

To make matters worse, sometimes we perceive “meanings” that don’t really exist in the first place. Somebody looks at us “funny” and we’re not only remembering something that happened before, but we’re remembering something we made up in the first place.

A lot of times our brains, in order to protect us, act like C3PO from Star Wars. That part where they were in the garbage compactor, and Luke said, “Shut down all compactors on the detention level!”

And 3PO said, “NOOOOO! Shut Them ALL Down!”

Similarly, whenever we “think” there might be danger “out there,” our brains respond with massive over kill.

Better safe than sorry, right?

But what if that thing they are protecting us from things (like rejection, for example) doesn’t exist in the first place?

Wouldn’t it be better to access more helpful memories, rather than imaginary danger?

You bet it would!

That’s one of the things you’ll learn in the Frame Control learning course.

How to dig deep in your  past, and find times when you were ultra confident.

Then you’ll look how to access THOSE memories instead.

So instead of responding like C3PO, you’ll respond like Han Solo, or any other Hero you’d like.

To get started, check this out:

Frame Control

Why You Should Love Rejection

Rejection Is Your Fastest Path To Success

Rejection Is Essential To Success

A lot of guys have a common problem with women.

And that is that they are waiting for some kind of obvious “green light” that tells them it’s OK.

This is normal. Nobody likes taking risks. We’d all love some perfect step by step method that is guaranteed to work. Some paint by the numbers system that gets us whatever we want, especially affection from gorgeous girls, without every having to put it on the line.

The trouble is that NOTHING is certain. All action requires risk. Sure, some actions are so LOW in risk they seem risk free. Things like ordering a pizza, going to the toilet in the middle of the night, or anything else simple and routine that we do over and over again.

But the simple truth of reality is that we absolutely cannot predict the future. 

It’s very common to be sitting there on the couch or in the bar talking to the girl of your dreams, and wondering whether or not you should make a move. And many guys DON’T make a move, and later claim that it was because they weren’t getting the right signals.

This is utter nonsense.

Let’s take a step back and see this from a scientific and biological perspective.

If a guy makes a move, and gets shot down, he’s going to feel like crap. BUT it won’t likely affect his social standing.  Think about one of your buddies right now. Now imagine him making a move (not an obscene or illegal move) and getting shot down. Politely shot down, not some girl screaming bloody murder.

Now, how do you feel about him after imagining that he tried and got shot down? Is he a social outcast? Is he some pariah to be avoided? Are the guys going to suddenly stop talking when he comes around, and look around in an uncomfortable silence?

Nope. If anything, he’ll get more props for trying.

Now imagine if a girl gave clear and obvious signs that she wants to be kissed. And SHE gets shot down.

What would happen to her reputation? What would her friends say? What would happen if she were known as the girl who throws herself at guys?

You know what would happen. Every girl who knew her (and every guy) would suddenly use different adjectives to describe her. (Easy, for example.)

So if you are waiting for a girl to make it obvious she wants you to kiss her, or touch her, or ask for her number, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

Not fair? Maybe not. But so what?

If you want success, you’re going to have to make a move. A risky move.

As the great founder of Sony once said, “If you want to double your success rate, simply double your failure rate!”

Now go out there and get shot down!