Category Archives: Attraction

Secrets Of Social Confidence

No Need For Tricks

No Need For Tricks

Many guys would pay a lot of good money to learn the secret of attracting women. Like if there was some magical combination of words or behaviors that would get a girl turned on.

When people started combining the idea of covert hypnosis and seduction, a lot of people made a lot of money. The idea of walking up to a girl and telling her some story which sounds normal, but is really turning her into a raving nymphomaniac, is something guys would pay THOUSANDS of dollars for.

And to be sure, if you did have enough covert hypnosis skills, you certainly could do that.

But here’s the thing. Deep inside most desires to do something like that, is a desire to “shortcut” the system.

Meaning the traditional way of getting a girl is pretty simple. Walk up to and talk to a lot of people. Not only girls, but pretty much everybody. In fact, if you made it habit of being a social, outgoing person, it would soon be second nature.

This is pretty terrifying to many guys. So they buy courses and go to seminars in hopes of shortcutting the system. They figure if they only learn some secret weird trick (or set of weird texts) they’ve only got to talk to one or two girls.

Unfortunately, any kind of system that is based on human communication can ONLY be vague at best. The best hypnotists in the world only have their level of skill because they’ve been practicing for YEARS on real people, in real situations.

No matter what you’re trying to learn, sales, covert hypnosis, pick up, being a stand up comedian, it’s simply going to take a lot of practice. There’s simply no way to shortcut the process.

So here is the good news.

If you accept the above as valid, then you don’t really need to learn ANY seduction or pickup technology.

The most fundamental human skill is communication. The more you communicate, the better you’ll get at it. There’s no need to memorize patterns or study “alpha male” behavior or anything else.

You’ve already got the skills programmed into your DNA to be a charismatic speaker. In front of one person, or in front of many people.

All you’ve got to do is practice.

Start talking to people. Realize that if you want to be good with the ladies, you’ll need to be the kind of guy who’s comfortable talking to anybody, anywhere, any time.

Sure it may be scary at first. But stop and consider what will happen when you DO become ultra comfortable with the ladies.

You will lose ALL social fear. Asking your boss for a raise, cold calling people on the phone, anything you want to do, that involves talking to people, will become natural and easy.

Isn’t that worth taking some time to practice?

Start slow, and build your skills over time.

This will show you how:

Girlfriend Generator

Don’t Argue With Her Unconscious

Roll With The Punches

Roll With The Punches

There’s a lot of misconceptions about what women want.

Often times somebody will proclaim they’ve finally uncovered what women really want. But then you find out it’s because they’ve done a survey. This should tell you right away they have no idea what they are talking about.

Why?

First, realize that attraction is not a choice. What women are attracted to is based on subconscious instincts that they themselves rarely understand.

This is hard to understand from a guy’s perspective. There’s a clear and obvious set of observable indicators of what generally peaks a guys interests. So when any guy describes what is attractive, it’s pretty simple. If a girl is hot, she’s hot.

But since girls are not as attracted to looks as guys are, it’s hard to put their finger on what gets them going.

Here’s another example.

Everybody likes food. Everybody likes slightly different food. Sometimes you want pizza, sometimes you want steak and lobster, sometimes you want something exotic.

It all depends on your mood. If somebody asked you, “What kind of food do you find delicious?” You might come up with an answer that sounded good.

But if you were walking into a restaurant and saw some food you’d never seen before, you may suddenly decide this was your favorite dish of all time.

You simply cannot objectively decide or measure or plan what kind of food you think is “delicious.”

When it comes to being attracted to guys, on a deep level, women are in the same situation.

They simply can’t predict or plan or consciously predict who they’ll find attractive.

Sure, they might give an answer that “sounds good.” But just like in the food example above, that’s going to go out the window when they see somebody who REALLY gets them going.

Does this mean it’s completely hopeless? Does this mean there’s nothing you can do?

Yes and no.

No if you’ve got your eyes on ONE particular girl. If you’ve tried to create attraction and have failed, there’s really not much you can do.

Imagine having a dinner party and cooking some food. But then your guests don’t really like it. Do you think you could “make them like it” by changing your clothes, or putting different music on in the background? Obviously not.

But this is what guys try to do when they try to get that “One Girl” to like them. I hate to break it to you, but if she doesn’t like you, she’s not likely going to. Unless you’re willing to totally change your personality and behavior.

On the other hand, this is great news.

Why?

Because you can generally figure out if a girl likes you or not pretty quickly. And instead of wasting your time trying to get “one girl” to like you, you can spend your precious time finding “a girl” that likes you.

And once you find her, all you’ve got to do is be yourself, and she’ll like you.

The real you.

How To Practice Social Skills

Small Steps

Don’t Go Too Far Too Fast

Most people know there’s inner game, and outer game.

Inner game is based on your beliefs, what you are capable of, and how you feel about yourself with respect to the rest of the world.

Outer game is your actual skills. This can, of course, apply to almost any kind of skill. Martial arts, music, you name it. You can play the piano beautifully in your own home, for example, but collapse into a pile of mush in front of others.

The good news is about your social skills is that you can build up both inner game and outer game at the same time.

Now, most guys don’t consider game as something you can “practice” and “improve” like any other skill. If you were a martial artist, for example, you wouldn’t ONLY practice whenever you had a match. That would be silly.

Instead, when you consider all the time actually performing any kind of martial arts, 99% is training, and only 1% of it is in the actual ring in a competition.

What would happen if you practiced your social skills the same way?

Meaning that most of the time, you practiced, instead of doing it “for real.” Now, many guys say it’s practice, but that’s only after they get blown out and don’t get what they want.

But what happens when you consider it practice before the interaction begins?

First, you’d have to decide exactly what you’re practicing. Eye contact, conversations, number closing, whatever.

Once you’ve got that established, you ONLY practice THAT. Nothing else.

This is something many guys have a hard time getting. As soon as they find themselves in a conversation, they go as far as they can until THEY get blown out, or THEY blow the other person out.

But what happens if you ONLY practiced up to the level of comfort, and nothing more?

Until you are absolutely and completely confident starting conversations, and can do so without a second thought, ONLY practice starting conversations.

As soon as you start one, exit (politely), and look for the next one.

You may find that this skyrockets your social skills and game in a VERY short period of time.

Since you’ll be building up your experience of positive experiences, that ENDED on a positive note, rather than you or them getting blown out, your confidence would soar.

Having a step by step plan can help.

Try this one:

Girlfriend Generator

Make Her Wait For Sex?

Don't Be So Easy!

Can All The Gurus Be Wrong?

Imagine you lived in a house, and you had an extra room to rent. So you put an add on Craigslist or wherever, saying the location and the rent. Some guy showed up, and all you knew about him was he had the cash in hand. Six months worth.

Would you accept him as your roommate? Most people wouldn’t. Most would ask some questions, at the very least. Does he smoke? Does he work, if so, what hours? Does he play the drums? Play loud music? Cook weird food at six in the morning? On the run from the law?

Most people recognize right away you’d need to screen your roommates. Call some references, etc.

But this is precisely what most guys DON’T do when they meet girls. All they care about are two things, one is she’s hot. Two is she’s willing to sleep with him.

This is exactly like ONLY demanding your imaginary future roommate can pay his rent, and nothing else.

Now, some guys don’t really care about what kind of girl she is. They’re not looking for Ms. Right, they’re looking for Ms. Right Now. They don’t care what happens the next morning.

But what if you’re looking for something a bit more long term? Something that can many turn into something more permanent?

Then you’d better know what you’re looking for!

Whether or not she’s hot, and wether or not she’s good to go (with you) is only the beginning. Cavemen from a hundred thousand years ago had the same criteria.

Which means it may be a pretty good idea to think of what kind of girl you’d like to wake up next to in the morning.

Not only that, but it may also be a good idea to figure out a way to screen her BEFORE you wake up next to her in the morning.

I know this is contrary to pretty much everything every guru and online game expert will tell you. That getting laid is the number one, primary goal. Nothing else matters.

But if you want to see her for more than a few drunken hours of fun, you might want to keep your little buddy in his pants.

I know, sacrilegious advice!

But think about it this way. If you took your time, got to know her a little bit, pretty soon you’d have a LOT of high quality candidate to choose from.

Think of this from a sales perspective. Sure, you CAN sell things to people quickly. But most people who buy things quickly don’t have money, or they have horrible credit. Because they are always buying things without thinking!

But the customers that take a while to close, the customers that think a lot about what they are buying, these are high quality customers. Customers that will keep buying from you again and again.

Of course, it depends you. What you want, and what you’re willing to do to get it.

Is Being Yourself Really Bad Advice?

Are You Too Reliant On Game?

The Dangers Of Too Much Game

What’s the biggest mistake most guys make? They try to create attraction when none is there.

Sure, there are some things, many things, that will improve your odds. If you wear nice clothes rather than something out of a dumpster, or you shower once a day instead of once a week.

There’s a myth that you can do or say certain things that will make her like you. Take a close look at that last sentence.

If a girl is to like “you,” then your words and behaviors have to be an accurate representation of “you.” Which means if you’re looking for somebody to tell you what to do or what to say, then you’re not really being “you.” 

This is one reason many guys crash and burn after only a short while. If you practice your game until it’s really tight, sure you can pull it off for a while. But sooner or later, you’re going to run out of material.

If you’ve ever talked to a stand up comedian in real life, you know they are usually pretty different in person, in an unscripted, un televised, unrehearsed conversation. Some people make the mistake of thinking they’re always running around telling funny stories to everybody they meet.

Sure, if all you care about is short term flings, then this will work very, very well. But if you want something more, you’ve got to be somebody that she is attracted to.

Meaning when she gets to know the real you, which she will eventually, she’s got to KEEP that level of attraction.

Which means that it if you’re looking for something long term, using any kind of game technology that’s NOT part of who you are might not be a great idea. 

It might even lead to the wrong conclusion about women in general, one that is very prevalent today. You practice a little bit of game, you use some techniques to increase her attraction. You get some success, but then you run out of material, she loses interest, and she’s gone.

If all you know is the above scenario, it may seem like all women are shallow, immoral creatures who’ll only stick around if you’ve got a lot of money.

If that’s how you feel, you may want to step back a bit, and dial down the game. Just be yourself. I know that on all kinds of dating forums this is the worst possible advice.

But many guys confuse “being yourself” with “being a nice guy.” Being a nice guy is the furthest thing from being yourself.

A nice guy is terrified of rejection, so he’s ultra careful about what he says or does.

But when you are yourself, you’re yourself no matter WHO you are talking to.

Sure, if you’re talking to some old lady in line at the supermarket, you might not want to cuss like a sailor, but you can certainly talk like you normally talk to your buddies.

Same with girls at the club, or girls at the library.

Talk to them like normal people, and you may be surprised.

Get Your Ego On Your Side

Embrace Your Inner Monkey

Trust Your Inner Caveman

There’s a lot of ways our ego can get in the way.

Even coming to an agreement on what the ego is can be difficult.

From a purely biological standpoint, it can be considered a leftover set of instincts from our days as hunters/gatherers.

Back in those days, we lived with the same group of people our entire lives, so their opinions of us were VERY important.

If they were talking trash about us behind our back, we could be in serious trouble. Life threatening, kicked out of the tribe trouble.

On the other hand, if everybody thought you were the bees knees, then you got a better looking mate, first dibs on all the big kills, and all the best spots to live whenever the tribe found a living spot.

So it became advantageous for those primitive humans to be super-hyper-sensitive to the opinions of others.

But like most other instincts, what worked well back then can only get in the way today.

For example, you could make a LOT of money in sales. It’s not that complicated, you’d just have to memorize a “pitch,” and call enough people, and you’d be making some serious cash.

Only problem is after getting yelled at by people who don’t like being called at home, you’d quit in a hurry.

Most sales that are based on commissions have a HUGE turnover rate. People are lured in by the potential big money, then run away in terror after getting their ego’s beat up.

Unfortunately, those instincts are pretty hard to ignore. For example, another instinct is to stuff our pie holes with food whenever it’s available. Worked back then, but not so much now.

But just understanding it doesn’t really help much. (Those burgers fries and ice cream sure do taste good!)

The trick isn’t to ignore or suppress your ego. 

The trick is to accept it, appreciate it, and manage it.

Think of it as your ally, rather than your enemy.

The easiest way is to have an overarching goal that is MORE IMPORTANT than the short term gratification of your ego.

One of the most important skills to develop, regardless of what you’d like to create in life, is to step back and see the big picture.

See your current situation in the context of your entire life.

Many people think of what they’d like to create, but then get stuck when their fear-driven ego (and all that other baggage) shows up.

But when you train your ego think long term, rather than short term, it’s a lot easier.

This will show you how:

Prosperity Generator

The Myth Of Female Desire

Attraction Is Like Hunger

Are You Building A False Image?

What do women want?

All you’ve got to do is figure this out, and you’ll be in good shape, right?

Maybe.

First, remember that attraction, deep physical and emotional attraction is an instinct. Sure, the longer you’re in a relationship with somebody, and the more you get to know each other, and the more you learn to respect and support each other, you can certainly “grow to love them.”

And certainly this is the way relationships were built for most of human history. That instant lust that we all sometimes confuse for love wasn’t there in the beginning. It was a long, slow process.

But these days, you’d need to belong to some crazy religious cult or seriously consider one of those mail order bride websites to get together with somebody you barely know.

Which means in order to create a decent relationship, you’ve got to be able to create real attraction.

And once again, keep in mind this is an instinct.

Consider another instinct. Hunger. If you are hungry, you might not be sure what you want. You certainly can’t predict what you would like. Sure you might try and scan your memory to some of the things you’ve eaten in the recent past, or maybe imagine a few restaurants in your neighborhood.

But this is only an approximation. A conscious guess of how your unconscious will respond to a certain stimuli.

You could not even know you’re hungry, and then suddenly somebody puts a plate of food in front of you that you’ve never seen, and suddenly it’s your favorite dish!

This is an instinct, and we simply can’t predict how we’ll respond to certain stimuli unless it’s in front of us.

When creating attraction in women, this presents a few problems.

No woman is going to know how she’ll feel about any guy until she interacts with him. Pictures won’t do it. A copy of his resume won’t do it. Even his ultra polite behavior on a first date won’t do it.

So asking her what kind guy she likes is kind of pointless. Or even dangerous if you listen to her answer and assume it’s actually true.

This would be like you saying you’d like to eat a cheeseburger, and then suddenly wolfing down a plate of chicken wings. You weren’t lying, you were only guessing. But somebody who was busily cooking you a cheeseburger based on what you said wouldn’t really understand.

So trying to figure out what women want, and then trying to figure out how to turn yourself into that person is not a great strategy.

So what is?

Just talk to as many woman as you can. Find the one that is turned on by the natural you. And who spurs the natural desire in you for her.

It may take a while, but when you find her, you’ll be glad you put in the effort.

Is Dating Dead?

Quality Will Always Be In Demand

Quality Will Always Be In Demand

For most guys, there’s a pretty tough stage when it comes to women. That is if you are trying to create a traditional relationship. For some guys, all they want is to get laid, and get laid a lot, and this is actually pretty easy, once you get the hang of it.

But getting a “quality girl” for a “quality relationship” is not so easy.

In the old days, before the internet and social media, it was pretty straightforward. You grew up, dated a few girls, maybe even only one or two, and settled down for life.

Now, some people claim that people aren’t as “pure” as  they used to be, or they aren’t as “moral” as they used to be.

The truth is that people have many, many more options then they used to. Think of it this way. A typical guy who lived fifty years ago didn’t have that much experience with a lot of women. Not on TV, certainly not online, and usually not in real life.

The ONLY way to even see women was in person. And there simply weren’t too many places where guys and girls would go and hook up. Which meant that most men met most women through their neighborhood, their social circle, their church, their work, etc.

Which meant that when they found somebody halfway decent, they hung on for dear life. Both men and women.

Today, however, we have the illusion of choice. Anybody can go on Facebook and feel popular. Anybody can watch vlogs of girls talking and pretend, on a subconscious level, they’re in a “conversation” with her, especially if they make comments and she responds.

There’s no shortage of online forums where people can safely interact from their own homes, and put on whatever personal they’d like to pretend to be.

Does this mean the dating game is done? Killed? Dead and buried?

It can certainly seem like it. If you are with a girl who’s just not into you, she’s going to have a million options other than sitting there pretending she’s into you.

Which only means one thing.

If you really DO want to create a special relationship, you’ve got to seriously increase what you bring to the table.

Massive social skills, self-confidence, and ultra powerful frame, and a iron-clad set of criteria that you’re looking for.

Just showing up to the club and spitting enough game to get laid is not going to get you very far.

What will?

Genuine social skills. Face to face social skills. The kind where you walk into a room and people would RATHER interact with you, in person, than stare at their phones.

Sure, developing this level of social skill takes practice. And for many guys, they’d rather bitch and moan about how hard it is.

What about you?

Bottom line is that most people want great things, but aren’t willing to put in the work required to get them.

But if you DO put in the work, you WILL get them.

Get Girls Caveman Style

Sexual Division Of Labor

Division Of Labor

One way to help understand male-female relationships is to imagine we are still cave people.

Humans evolved over a long, long time, and the time we’ve been living in cities is very, very short.

We’ve been in our current form, more or less, for about 100K years. Sure, there are all kinds of different theories as to the specifics, but the bottom line is that in the big picture, we’ve been cave people a lot longer than we’ve been city living folks.

Which means that all of our instincts, specifically the ones that drive male-female attraction, and the ones that serve as the glue for male-female relationships, have been with us a long, long time.

Before technology, before electricity, before running water. Before money was invented.

So the same things that got guys and girls interested in each other back then, and kept them together, still holds true today. It may not seem like it with so much distractions, but it’s still there.

One reason humans did so well was we formed pair-bonds that generally lasted a lifetime. Sure there were exceptions, but those only prove the rule.

And the reason these pair bonds worked so well was because there was a sexual division of labor. Meaning guys did one thing, and girls did something else. Bottom line was the guys hunted, and girls gathered.

Which meant we could live in a lot different environments, since both hunting AND gathering got a lot of different types of food.

Think about this. Every day, the guys would go hunting. And the girls would gather. Both working to support the family.

The idea of a “stay at home mom” is not only an aberration in recent history, due to some extreme productivity in economics, but it’s not part of our evolutionary makeup.

Why is this important?

Because when you choose a girl for a relationship, looking pretty is just the start. You’ve got to be able to trust her, to depend on her, and make sure she’s got your back, and you’ve got hers.

Meaning when it comes to building your life, you’ve both got to be on the same page.

Keeping this in mind can help with the initial approach.

You’ve got to screen pretty carefully, as many girls simply won’t match your criteria.

This, of course, assumes you’ve got some life plans aside from playing video games and checking Facebook.

Get a plan, and start looking for a girl to help you get it.

Is it really that simple?

It’s been working for humans for thousands of years, why not you?

When Should You Use Seduction Technology?

What's The Rush?

What’s The Rush?

Here’s a dream scenario, of what an interaction with a girl would go, as most guys imagine it.

You walk up to her and use some kind of opener. She’s intrigued, and turns toward you. The more you talk, the more she becomes interested. Pretty soon she’s got the whole room fazed out in her mind, and all she sees is you.

You pay attention to her lips, they are slightly parted, and swollen. If you pay attention to her pupils, they are getting bigger and bigger. That unconscious response we all have when we’re looking at something we like.

If you touch her, she increases all her signs of attraction. Her eyes get a bit bigger, she takes a deep breath (as if she secretly wishes you were touching her somewhere else).

Whenever you say something and nod, she slightly nods as well, in perfect agreement.

So far so good, right?

Now, if ALL you want is some quick sex, and nothing else, this is as good as it gets. But most guys, even though they claim they want to love ’em and leave ’em, really want more.

Sure, sex is great. But when you’re having sex with somebody that really gets you, really believes in you, and is genuinely concerned (both for her own reasons and for yours) that you’ll be successful in life, this is a MUCH different feeling than having sex with some girl you’ve just met.

One problem of creating massive sexual desire in an hour or so is you have ZERO idea of what this girl is like. And unless she’s totally OK with getting with a guy and banging him within an hour, a couple of things are likely to happen.

One is that she’ll think you tricked her, or put something in her drink. This is very bad. Unless you’re a traveling salesman and plan to blown town in the morning, this could get you in serious trouble.

Or she could convince herself that she’s found “The One.” Why else would she sleep with you so quickly unless she absolutely KNEW you were soulmates?

This, also, could present some serious problems if you aren’t planning on slinking back to your secret hideaway in the morning.

So yea, it’s fun to create that attraction pretty quickly. But it’s also pretty frikkin dangerous.

So here’s another alternative. Another way to create that same MASSIVE sexual desire, WITHOUT all the potential problems.

First, come up with a list of criteria. Things that MUST be true about your idea girl.

Then find a girl that HAS all those criteria.

Then take her on a couple dates, just to make sure. When you ARE sure, then let loose with the mad patterns and seduction tools.

Then you’ll have a highly qualified girl, who’s perfect for you, who wants nothing more than to bang you silly.

Again and again and again.