This is true of anything.

Now, most people don’t like to hear this. Especially when it comes to feeling confident talking to girls and not worrying too much about what happens.

Rejection sucks. Getting rejected in a social setting sucks even worse. 

But consider this, everything you learned how to do, you either learned from trial and error, or modeling.

Now, I’m not talking about some dates in history that you memorized for a history test. I’m talking about skills. Walking, talking, driving, any kind of sports or music.

Generally speaking, any learning involved modeling, which just means copying somebody else, and trial and error.

Think about a little kid who learns to walk. He or she sees all the other adults around, standing and walking on two legs. Much more efficient than four legs, right?

So they give it a try, and fall flat on their face. And laugh. And try again. And fail. And laugh. And continue until they succeed.

Being able to walk up and confidently talk to girls, and walk away JUST as confident regardless of what happens is also a skill.

And just like any other skill, it requires practice. Lots of practice.

But whenever most guys walk up to a girl, they tell themselves that THIS girl is going to be the one for them. If they succeed, they’ll be the happiest guy on Earth.

If they fail, they’ll be miserable for the rest of their lives.

Hard to practice under the sitatuions.

But practice you must, says Master Yoda.

How can you practice? One way is to simply keep some stats. Just of yourself. Not to show off to your boys or post online or try to prove your alpha-ness. Just to keep the idea of practice firmly in your mind whenever you see a cutie.

Just write down the number of girls you made eye contact with, smiled at, talked to, exchanged names with, etc.

Keep it in Excel or another form. It’s really BEST if you don’t share this with anybody.

Once you get started, you’ll see girls in a different light. It will seem much LESS like a do or die situation, and much more like practice.

Becuase you’ll have proof that every single girl is a stat. (Within YOUR experience).

Imagine if a baseball team played every single game like it was the last game of the world series.

They’d be a basketcase! In truth, if a team is a few games over 500, they’re doing pretty good. Since they play 162 (I think…) games a year, they KNOW they are bound to lose some.

Since baseball is the most statistically driven sport on Earth, they all know this.

So will you when you start keeping stats.

This will jack up your confidence, and make you much more attractive.

And pretty soon, those cute girls will be trying to get YOU into a relationship.

It works like this. You think you’re going to get something good. Doesn’t matter what. But if something happens and you DON’T get it, you’re going to feel cheated.

Now, if you think you might have one more slice of pizza leftover from last night, but really don’t, that’s not so bad.

The trouble comes when you think you are going to get something from somebody else.

Most people set themselves up for HUGE pains when they think they are getting something they deserve, and it doesn’t show up.

Even if somebody tells you they are giving you something for free, and then they change their mind, you’re going to feel cheated.

There’s no rhyme or reason to this, it’s just human nature.

And when there’s sex or romance of affection involved, it REALLY hurts.

Guy walks up to a girl, and he does everything right. She’s even into him for a while, friendly, flirty, touchy-feely, etc.

Then he number closes her, and gets shut down.

In this situation, it is REALLY easy to feel burned. Like she played you for a chump. Like she’s off with her buddies laughing all the free booze she mooched off you.

And yes, this DOES happen. Quite a bit.

But guess what?

Getting angry will ONLY make it worse.

Getting angry or hurt because of what a girl DIDN’T give you will make you much LESS attractive, not the other way around.

This why any idea of “deserving” should be absolutely ABSENT from your mind whenever you’re interacting with the ladies.

No girl wants to end up with a guy that she’ll feel any sort of obligation to.

No guy wants that either.

Humans are hard wired to cherish our freedom. Our freedom of thought.

Whenever you try to put her in a box where she SHOULD behave in a certain way, you’re basically trying to get her to be your willing mind slave.

Nobody likes doing things because they HAVE to. We only want to do things because we CHOOSE to.

So next time you’re out and about, think of how you could behave and interact with her so she’ll CHOOSE you, rather than feel obligated by any imaginary social pressure.

How do you do this?

Luckily, all humans are hard wired to want what we think we can’t have.

This is why being confident AND slightly aloof is so powerful.

Talk to her, enjoy her, but also radiate a slight vibe that says, “I like you, I enjoy you, but if you suddenly vanished from site, I’d recover pretty quickly.”

If she ever THINKS she has you, you’re done.

And any sign of neediness or expectation of what she SHOULD do is about a clear a sign as you can send that she does indeed have you.

Avoid this at all costs.

Friendly, confident, playful, and ready to bounce at any moment.