Category Archives: Charisma

Do You Know What You’re Creating?

Four Quadrants Of Learning

If you want to learn something, you can find plenty of helpful tutorials online.

For example, I’ve got a friend who into knitting. She wanted to learn this new stitch or weave (or whatever they call them) so she just looked it up on YouTube.

If you want to learn Photoshop, there’s no shortage of tutorials, free and paid.

Most skills are like this. Figure out what out you want, find the best way to learn it, and get started.

Generally speaking, with skills (that aren’t part of our jobs) we have an outcome in mind. If you wanted to learn how to reproduce a certain photo effect, you’d know when you were finished.

Of course, you can still learn skills without knowing why you want to learn them. I’ve studied all kinds of different software, and software techniques just for the fun of learning them. Sometimes I’ll figure out a way to use them, sometimes I won’t.

The process of learning, however, is enough to be an end in and of itself.

You might say there’s four quadrants of learning. You know what you want, and you know how to get there.

You know what you want, and you don’t know how to get there.

You know how to get somewhere, but you aren’t sure want to go.

You don’t know where to go, and you wouldn’t know how to get there if you did!

Of course, this last one is kind of funny, especially when we consider that’s how plenty of us live our lives.

Sure, we somehow muddle through day by day. Sure we know we want something more. More money, more friends, more time off, more sex, etc.

But what specifically do we want, and how specifically we’ll get there is something we’d rather not think about.

At least today.

Maybe tomorrow. Or when we finally finish cleaning out our closet. Or maybe after…..

The problem is that by doing this, we run the risk of being near the end of our lives and thinking, “What happened?”

Imagine, now, if you can, you are now at the closing chapter of your life. And you are looking back at all your accomplishments.

What are you most proud of? What things were the most difficult to achieve, but the most rewarding when you achieved them?

What things do you wish you did more of? What things do you wish you did less of?

Now come back to the here and now, and imagine your life ahead of you.

What do you want to build? What would you like to accomplish?

Whatever quadrant you’re in now, you can easily shift to a more useful one.

As soon as you choose a specific desire, out there in the future, all you’ve got to do is get started in that direction.

You’ll figure out everything you need along the way.

These will help:

Mind Persuasion

How To Appreciate Girls Without Getting In Trouble

Ditch The Self Judgment

Most guys are terrified of openly expressing their interest in a woman.

They’re afraid they’ll get rejected, or worse, there’re afraid they’ll be labeled as a “creep” or a “pervert” as if they are doing something wrong.

But consider this. Sexual desire is the most natural thing there is, assuming everybody is age appropriate.

If men never expressed their sexual desires, humans wouldn’t exist.

You may even say that the whole of society is a manifestation of man’s sexual desire.

But, you say, I checked that girl out the other day and she caught me, and gave me a dirty look!

Consider this. When you think of doing the nasty with a hot girl you see, it likely makes you FEEL dirty before she even sees you. Maybe because all of your experiences are the same. Maybe because when you were a kid your mom or your kindergarten teacher found you playing with your little guy and gave you a creepy look. But that wasn’t because it was inherently bad, it’s just that grownups DON’T feel comfortable talking about that stuff with kids.

It’s like one of those chicken and egg questions. What came first? Pure, honest, sexual desire, or the feeling of creepiness surround pure sexual desire?

I suggest that pure sexual desire (age appropriate, of course) is PERFECTLY NATURAL. It’s just because most people suck at expressing it that everybody THINKS it’s creepy.

But it’s not.

In a sense, when you’re checking out a girl, you’re already judging yourself as creepy or a pervert before she even takes a look.

Which means she’s not judging you as a creep because you were checking her out, she was judging you a creep because YOU judged YOURSELF a creep.

Most guys know that women want a guy who’ll lead. But what if they automatically follow a guy as their default setting?

Which means HOWEVER YOU JUDGE YOURSELF is how she is going to judge you. Not just her, but society in general.

Which is fantastic news.

Because all you’ve got to do is STOP JUDGING YOURSELF and so will she.

If you accept your sexual desire as normal, natural, and crucially, necessary for the survival of the human race, so will she.

Which means when you express your appreciation for her, even if it’s purely sexual, she will LOVE IT.

Now, this of course means you’ve got to have a healthy desire to find out about her personality, and whether or not she’s a match.

Because the bottom line truth is that most women (simply by the law of statistics) WILL NOT be a match.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy looking.

Not just looking, but appreciating.

So next time you’re out checking out the ladies, try this out.

Think these words in your mind:

“I like looking at you. You are VERY attractive. I get good feelings when I look at you. And when I’m looking at you, I’m imagining that we are PERFECT for each other and can make each other VERY HAPPY. I would LOVE to meet you to see if that’s true or not.”

Try that, and see what happens.

Girlfriend Generator

How To Build Up Massive Attraction

Experience Is Essential

What do women want? That’s kind of a trick question, since what we want is based on our conscious decision making. Like when the waitress takes your order, or when the barber asks what kind of hair style you’d like.

When it comes to attraction, both male and female, what we want isn’t really so important. It’s what we respond to.

Now for guys, this is pretty hard to understand instinctively. Sure it makes sense on intellectually, but most guys don’t ask as if they truly understand this crucial concept.

Guys respond to girls based on how they look. And when they look at many girls, they tend to respond the same way. Big boobs, slim waist, clear skin, healthy hair, etc. So when somebody asks, what’s our ideal of a perfect woman, we describe the way she looks.

Meaning we describe the girl we respond to most. Because we respond to the same type, over and over, either in real life or through media, it’s easy to consciously describe the type of girl we dream about.

But girls aren’t nearly as interested in looks as guys are. They are much more interested in character. And character takes a lot of time to flesh out. Which means they don’t have NEARLY as much data to go from, when asked to describe what they “want.”

Even movie characters are kind of hit and miss. Male movie characters that truly turn a woman on are NOT the same type of movie characters that sell movie tickets.

At least not in the way we think.

However, if you study the kind of movies and books that women tend to DEVOUR, you’ll see a pattern.

Romance novels, for example, are filled with the same types. And guess what? They are NOT beta providers, or the hippie sensitive type.

Nor are they the politically correct type.

Woman are drawn to guys who can lead. Guys who are confident. Guys who can handle any situation that comes up.

They want to feel protected, on a subconscious level. They want to FEEL IT, rather than hear you say it.

They want to see EVIDENCE that you can do it, not you telling them you can do it.

How do you show them?

One is to be confident, no matter what happens. This is precisely WHY girls test you.

They WANT to make sure you are REALLY confident, and not easy to shakeable.

They figure if you can pass HER TESTS, once she decides she is WITH YOU, you’ll be able to handle any tests the world throws at you.

She’s not going to feel very safe with you when you’re crumbling at the first sign of trouble!

This simply CANNOT be faked, despite how much money people pay for courses that teach otherwise.

The only way to demonstrate your ability to handle anything is to experience as much as you can.

Which means talking to girls rather than looking at them.

If you start doing this, you’ll build up some incredible skills.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Have You Started To Build Your Life?

Dreams Walking In Broad Daylight

It’s always easier to go with the flow, than go against the flow.

If you are swimming, for example, swimming with the current is a lot easier than swimming against the current.

Often times beaches have “rip tides” which pull swimmers out to sea. The instinct is to swim back towards the beach, but this can get you killed.

Since you’re swimming against the tide, you’ll get pretty tired, and unless you swim on a regular basis, you won’t last long.

Instead, lifeguards say to swim parallel to the beach, until you are out of the “path” of the rip ride. Then you can swim much easier, even though you may be a bit further out.

When I was in college,we had to write three essays as part of this English class. Then we had to rewrite one of them, for our final grade.

Naturally, we would choose the best one, since that we’d already got a good start. This would make it much easier to get a good grade than if we tried to completely rewrite one that wasn’t so good.

Any time we do something that’s congruent with our nature, it’s easier than something that’s not.

What is in our nature? Being social. Interacting with others. Sleeping at night instead of during the day. Having urges to make more people. Having urges to make money or create wealth of some form.

Sure, there are exceptions. Some times we want to be alone, sleep all day, and stay away from the opposite sex.

But for most of our lives, we are striving to improve ourselves along these lines. We want better relationships. We want more income. We want more intimacy.

This is human nature. The human condition.

How you do that in your own life will be based on your own personality, likes and dislikes, history, beliefs, and about a kajillion other variables.

For most of human history, we never really had to think about this stuff. We just kind of did what was natural, and that was good enough.

But now we’ve got an incredible opportunity. To create things with much more specificity. Much more control. Much more creativity.

Every year there are more and more millionaires, some for the craziest reasons, some for pretty boring reasons.

But if you just kind “go with the flow,” it’s not likely to happen.

But when you choose it to happen, and plan it to happen, you can expect it to happen.

Because it will.

No matter what “it” is. Money. Relationships. A better career. Artistic expressions.

What will you create?

Learn How:

Goal Setting

How To Maximize Psychic Profits

Keep An Eye On Your Bottom Line

Many people tend to think of “profits” as a bad word.

The other day I was reading some blog post about some new show on Netflix. A commenter didn’t quite like Netflix’s strategy, so they complained about “profit chasing.”

What are “profits” anyhow?

In a very basic sense, it’s any time you get more out of a system than you put in.

If you grow corn, for example, and it costs you $1000 to grow the corn, and you can sell them for $1200, that means you’ve made a profit of $200.

If this particular corn farmer wanted more profits, he’d figure out a way to grow more corn. And so long as people weren’t FORCED to buy his corn, the more he sold, the happier people would be, since they were buying them based on their own choice.

In this simple case, more profits is good for everybody. More people that want corn get it, the farmer has a job he knows is benefiting people, AND the farmer’s making some decent money.

Of course, whenever there are all kinds of complicated laws and hidden agreements it can spoil the system.

But on a basic, fundamental level, profits are a good thing.

Even on a personal level, we seek profits.

For example, any time you think about doing something, you imagine yourself in the future, with your new “state” better than your current “state.”

Then you imagine the action and the risks involved in going from your current “state” to your imagined better “state.”

If you are successful, you could say that the difference between the two states (the better future state minus or current state) is your own personal “profit.”

In fact, many economists have called this “psychic revenue.” Meaning you get a benefit, but since it’s not money, it’s based on your own feelings, emotions, and subjective values.

And unless we think we’ll be better off, we won’t take action.

Now, this pretty easy when we don’t perceive any risks. Then it’s simple, and often times pretty boring. Like some routine process.

Baking a cake. Buying something from a vending machine. Driving across town to buy something you want.

But when perceived “risk” comes into play, that’s when things get tricky.

If we perceive a huge risk, then we won’t take action. We imagine the outcome as better, but we don’t want the costs associated with it (going through those scary risks).

This is why it’s so crucial to get a handle on your fears.

Since most fears are imaginary and NEVER happen, there’s plenty of things that are easily within our reach, but we simply talk ourselves out of it.

Get rid of those imaginary fears, and life becomes a LOT more fun, and a LOT easier.

Ready to blast YOUR fears away?

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

Remove The Enemy To Success

How To Grow Your Comfort Zone

All of us want things that we don’t go after.

Most of us make up stories that we tell ourselves, in order to protect our egos.

Very few of us are honest enough with ourselves to admit the real reasons to ourselves.

When I was a kid me and my friends would always dare each other to do things.

Go ring the doorbell of some crazy ladies house.

Touch some gross looking bug.

Go say something goofy to some other kid we barely knew, usually a girl.

Many times, we’d actually kind of seek out our buddies and get them to dare us to do stuff.

Stuff we wanted to do, but couldn’t really do on our own.

Many times having a group of supporters can help you do things you want to do, but can’t on your own.

But some things in life, the really good things in life, you really do have to do them on your own.

Everything that is worth getting, is going to require some kind of risk. Some kind of action where you aren’t really sure what’s going to happen.

Many people simply aren’t comfortable with this.

But those who achieve greatness, do so because they are comfortable with risk. Comfortable with uncertainty.

Now, this doesn’t meant that you need to go out and become a super hero or anything.

It means just expanding your comfort zone a bit. Just enough to feel like you’ve accomplished something worthwhile at the end of the day.

You’ve moved beyond merely handling what the world gives you (which is plenty most of the time!)

When you go above and beyond what’s required, when you push out just a little bit more, it feels pretty good.

Most people imagine that confronting fear is only when they pick up their sword and face that huge, fire breathing dragon.

But in reality, it’s those small behaviors you do on a daily basis. When you take a risk and smile at somebody.

Or be the person to approach the other person. Or be the person who speaks up on behalf of somebody else when something goes wrong.

You don’t need to wait for a monster to kill or a dragon to slay.

You’ve got opportunities every single day to conquer your fears. One by one. Little by little.

Napoleon Hill wrote decades ago that our most basic fears can hold us back from greatness.

From the wealth and relationships we deserve.

Many of these “base fears” live in our root Chakra. And left alone, they tend to fester and grow.

Taking daily action is a sure way to slowly eliminate them from your life.

Here’s another way:

Kundalini Activator

Are You Happy With What You See?

Peer Beneath The Surface

Very often we humans use metaphors to describe things. Usually to make it easier on the brain.

I read this fascinating book a while back called “Metaphors We Live By.” by George Lakoff, one of Chomsky’s original students.

It wasn’t quite what I expected. I was thinking it would be about some kind of mystical metaphysics or something. Maybe the deep meaning of life.

But it was something far more profound, and illustrates how pretty much ALL of our thinking is based on metaphors for what lies beneath the seemingly normal surface of reality.

Basically, whenever we use a noun that’s not a real object, (sometimes in NLP these are called nominalizations), we have to use them AS IF they are a real object.

And the preposition (the word that comes before them in the sentence) we use WITH THEM describes what kind of noun our subconscious minds think they are.

I know, this sounds kind of confusing.

But think of the noun, “meeting.” It’s not a physical thing. Sure, there’s the meeting room, the table, the chairs, the people. But the meeting itself is an abstract concept.

What KIND of noun do our brains think it is?

A container. How do we know this? Because we say “I’m IN a meeting.” We don’t say “on” a meeting, or “under” a meeting. We say “in” a meeting. And we are “in” containers.

How about a train, plane, or boat? We say “on.” Like it’s a vehicle.

How about a team? We also say “on.” Because we travel with a team, to meet other teams. Also like a vehicle. Compared to a club, which is more like a container. “In” the club.

There’s basically five or six different basic categories we put these abstract nouns in (containers, barriers, passages, buildings, companions, etc).

Which means in our most basic, fundamental every day language, we’re describing these abstract concepts in a way that we can pretend to make sense of them.

Most people imagine that reality is pretty simple. That what you see is what you get.

But you know there’s much more. The surface is just what’s on top.

What if all you thought about the ocean was what it looked like on top?

You know that there’s MUCH MORE to this “reality” than meets the eye. Much more underneath the surface.

Stuff most people don’t even know exists, let alone go looking for.

How about you?

Are you willing to dig through the false surface, to see what’s REALLY inside?

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator

Your Inner And Outer Light

Two Way Motivation

It’s easy to “perform” when there are some strong incentives.

If you had a pretty good job, with pretty good money, and had to be there every morning at 7 AM, you wouldn’t have a problem waking up in the morning.

Having an external, negative incentive (you’d get fired if you showed up late too often) is one strong motivating factor.

Most of us are driven largely by negative incentives, or by pain. Meaning we are more motivated to move away from pain than we are to move toward pleasure.

For example, you’ll find no shortage of “diets” that famous people follow to lose weight in order to get those awesome looking bodies we see in the movies.

But here’s the thing. If YOU were going to get a few million dollars to be in a movie, but the ONLY way you would get it if you got yourself in really decent shape, you’d have NO PROBLEM doing so.

It’s not really the specific diet that gets them into shape, it’s the motivation.

Not only negative, but also positive. Meaning on the one hand, they’re terrified of losing out, and getting rejected by Hollywood. But they’re also thrilled at increasing their fame and social status.

This is what happens when you figure out how to be motivated not only by moving AWAY from pain, but TOWARD pleasure.

Most of us move away from pain just long enough so we can sit on the couch in front of the TV for a few hours.

Those that figure out to move toward pleasure, as well as away from pain, tend to do much, much better in life.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is establish your own personal pleasure you’re going after.

I’m not talking about short term pleasure, like that ice cream in your freezer. I’m talking about huge, long term pleasure out in the future.

A perfect relationship, a great career, a feeling of spiritual peace and connection.

Those things will simply not happen if you’re ONLY motivated away from pain.

The thing is that all of us, on a very deep and fundamental level, are hard wired to WANT those things. Those perfect relationships, careers that maximize our skills and intelligence while filling up our bank accounts.

But they don’t happen naturally. You’ve got to get up off the couch and get moving. Sometimes for a while before you figure out where you’re going.

Before you get on the path you KNOW is the right path for you, there will be some trial and error.

This is normal, natural, and part of the process. Otherwise, you wouldn’t feel that thrill of discovery when you DO discover the right path.

One way that can help considerably is to open up your higher self. Get in touch with the part of you that is waiting to be pulled toward the light, rather than merely away from the darkness.

Once you discover the light within, it will be much easier to find the light without.

Learn How:

Kundalini Activator

Unleash Your Relentless Self

Create A Quiet Place In Your Mind

I had this cool physics instructor once.

Super genius, but also super soft spoken.

He was once giving a lecture, and in his soft spoken voice, and he’d said that physics was like basketball. You can only get better if you practice.

He made the comparison to watching somebody teach how to execute some type of basketball move. It’s one thing to understand how it’s done, it’s something else completely to be able to do it yourself.

That only comes with practice.

There’s a lot of misconception in the world of NLP. It’s taught, and marketed as some kind of “once and done” system where all you have to do is sit there and soak up some knowledge from some “guru” and suddenly become an NLP genius.

When people say they’ve been “trained” in NLP, that’s what they usually mean. They’ve been to an intensive seminar. Maybe a couple weeks. They’ve done some one on one practice within the seminar (where everything usually works perfectly).

If you met somebody at a party, and they said they were a classically trained pianist, what would you imagine about their “training”?

That they’d gone to a two week intensive piano seminar, and practiced a couple of songs?

Not likely. Most people would imagine they’d spent YEARS studying under some taskmaster genius, who had them doing drill after drill, until they could play the classics beautifully, emotionally, and flawlessly.

Unless you’re doing something incredibly simple, like making toast, or buying a subway ticket, mastering ANY skill is going to take time.

And MOST skills are never “master-able.” Meaning you’ll NEVER get to a point where you can sit back and say, “Yep, I pretty much got THAT all figured out!”

Even professional athletes, who have been practicing their art since they were kids, strike out (or whatever the equivalent) plenty of time.

Life is much, much more than learning a couple of tricks, and then sitting pretty.

It’s about constantly learning, growing, risking, failing, trying again, succeeding, achieving fantastic breakthroughs after long spans of nothing.

All in completely random and unpredictable order.

There’s NO guaranteed step by step process, other than figuring out what you want, trying something, and seeing what happens.

Most people are terrified of this. Most are desperate to be told what to do, and then be able to blame somebody when anything goes wrong.

One thing that will help is having a rock solid faith in yourself. Not that you’ll succeed, but that no matter what happens, you’ll be able to figure out what to do next.

Fear is incredibly paralyzing. But once you take action, the fear will vanish. And so long as you keep forward momentum going, no matter how small, you will NEVER fail.

Having a quiet place to retreat to, to regroup and re-strengthen yourself, can help.

That way, you’ll ALWAYS come back stronger.

Learn More:

Kundalini Activator

Shine Your Light

Be An Example To Others

I saw this interesting question on some financial web site the other day.

It was one of those questions designed to seem simple, but with an unexpected answer. The idea being you’d click through to read more about their financial services.

The question was about interest rates, something people generally don’t know much about.

Some say this is on purpose, so bankers can take advantage of more people.

For example, one way to describe a loan is “renting money.” Meaning they give you money, then you give them the money back, plus interest. Since you’ve got to pay them every month, like you’d pay your rent, it’s basically the same concept.

Yet they don’t use this. I mean, if you borrow a pencil from your friend at school, you just give it back when you’re done. If you borrow a library book from the library, you give it back, there’s no cost.

Yet when we “borrow” money, we have to pay extra. Maybe those bankers from centuries ago did this on purpose!

I’m sure you’ve heard that expression that we aren’t physical beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.

We are eternal, but we are in our bodies for only a blip of a split second.

Why?

Maybe we’re “borrowing” our bodies, or the matter that makes them up, from the rest of the universe.

Are we here just to have fun? Or do we have a larger purpose?

Is it a free ride, or do we need to “pay rent?”

If so, to who?

Many different religions teach us that our higher purpose is to serve others.

Reminds me of the story of the talents, from the New Testament.

To those who are given much, much is expected.

But what does this mean? What is expected of us? How can we serve others the best?

Maybe by figuring out how to maximize our skills, so we can participate in society by helping to create something that will best serve the most people.

After all, you’ve got a great light within you. Are you going to keep it hidden, or shine it so all can see?

Not only shine it, but make it as bright as you can.

How will you do that?

Maybe that’s the purpose of life itself. To not only shine your light for all to see, but spend your precious little time here maximizing it’s brightness.

Of course, this can be frightening. Not everybody is interested in our light. The world’s got plenty of problems.

But then again, maybe it wouldn’t if everybody would simply shine their lights.

Why not set an example?

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator