Category Archives: Dating

The Caveman Pick Up Angle

Look For A Partner, Not A Lover

Economic Partners

Taking a big picture look is a big help in a lot of situations.

Finding a suitable partner is no different. 

So if you’re wondering how to best go about finding a girlfriend, this may help give you another perspective.

One of the biggest problems facing mankind is that we are living in a modern world with a caveman brain.

We lived as hunter-gatherers for hundreds of thousands of years. Before we were even human, really. So the instincts that kept us safe, alive and thriving are still very powerful.

Consider hunger. Back then, food was scarce. So those that had genes that made them eat until they couldn’t move any chance they got tended to last longer.

Those that had genes that made them always worry about their figures didn’t.

Consequently, all humans today, when presented with cheap and plentiful food tend to get fat. It’s very HARD to simply not eat when the opportunity is right in front of  you.

All of our other instincts are the same way. They helped us then, but now, not so much.

One thing to understand is how male-female relationships were back then. They were much different than they are now. Much of what we expect now is really a very recent addition, and often times just not true.

Most people have been brainwashed into thinking that partnership between males and females should be about fantastic feelings and sex that never ends.

That’s partly true. 

That’s the attraction that brings us together in the first place. But it’s not what keeps us together.

What keeps us together?

If we look back in our common ancestry, we’ll see the difference.

A mutual cooperation in the creation of wealth.

Men and women were attracted because of physical reasons. They stayed together for economic reasons.

Meaning they were both on the same team. They were both pursuing the same goal. They wanted as much wealth as they could get, for the family.

And when the kids got old enough, that was their job too. To create as much wealth as they could to keep the family safe and secure.

This was true all the way up to the industrial revolution. Only after that did it start to be possible for one person to make enough money for the whole family.

That’s when all these crazy notions about lifelong romance and sappy love stories started to become popular.

If that’s ALL you’re looking for, you’ll certainly find it. But it won’t last long.

How can you apply this to modern dating?

Just ask yourself, next time you’re thinking about approaching a girl:

“Do I want her on my team, to help me create wealth for my future family?”

And she should be asking herself the same question about you, so you’d better be ready to answer. Not directly of course, but through your approach to relationships and life.

This can go a long ways it getting rid of that approach anxiety that’s based on false ideas about human relationships.

Something to think about next time you’re out looking for ladies.

The Statistics Of Seduction

Get Your Numbers Up!

How To Minimize Anxiety

If you want more success with women, then you’ve got to fail more often.

This is true of anything.

Now, most people don’t like to hear this. Especially when it comes to feeling confident talking to girls and not worrying too much about what happens.

Rejection sucks. Getting rejected in a social setting sucks even worse. 

But consider this, everything you learned how to do, you either learned from trial and error, or modeling.

Now, I’m not talking about some dates in history that you memorized for a history test. I’m talking about skills. Walking, talking, driving, any kind of sports or music.

Generally speaking, any learning involved modeling, which just means copying somebody else, and trial and error.

Think about a little kid who learns to walk. He or she sees all the other adults around, standing and walking on two legs. Much more efficient than four legs, right?

So they give it a try, and fall flat on their face. And laugh. And try again. And fail. And laugh. And continue until they succeed.

Being able to walk up and confidently talk to girls, and walk away JUST as confident regardless of what happens is also a skill.

And just like any other skill, it requires practice. Lots of practice.

But whenever most guys walk up to a girl, they tell themselves that THIS girl is going to be the one for them. If they succeed, they’ll be the happiest guy on Earth.

If they fail, they’ll be miserable for the rest of their lives.

Hard to practice under the sitatuions.

But practice you must, says Master Yoda.

How can you practice? One way is to simply keep some stats. Just of yourself. Not to show off to your boys or post online or try to prove your alpha-ness. Just to keep the idea of practice firmly in your mind whenever you see a cutie.

Just write down the number of girls you made eye contact with, smiled at, talked to, exchanged names with, etc.

Keep it in Excel or another form. It’s really BEST if you don’t share this with anybody.

Once you get started, you’ll see girls in a different light. It will seem much LESS like a do or die situation, and much more like practice.

Becuase you’ll have proof that every single girl is a stat. (Within YOUR experience).

Imagine if a baseball team played every single game like it was the last game of the world series.

They’d be a basketcase! In truth, if a team is a few games over 500, they’re doing pretty good. Since they play 162 (I think…) games a year, they KNOW they are bound to lose some.

Since baseball is the most statistically driven sport on Earth, they all know this.

So will you when you start keeping stats.

This will jack up your confidence, and make you much more attractive.

And pretty soon, those cute girls will be trying to get YOU into a relationship.

Seduction: Manipulation Vs. Persuasion

Don't Be This Guy

Beware Of Mind Tricks

The structure of persuasion is pretty simple. Honest persuasion, that is.

In fact, the structure of dishonest manipulation is pretty simple as well.

Everybody has “triggers” things that we respond to unconsciously. Without really thinking.

For example, “social proof” is a trigger that humans are hard wired to notice. If a crowd is going one way, we’ll generally go with the crowd.

Scarcity is another thing. If something is running out, it will seem more valuable, even if we don’t really know what it is.

Another one is commitment and consistency. We tend to do what we’ve done in the past.

All of these are designed to save energy on brain power. Our brains use a lot of energy. And energy is pretty scarce, at least it was when our minds were being built here on Earth.

So if you can set up anything, sales, seduction, whatever, based on these instinctive triggers, people will generally go along with you.

Until they suddenly find out that what you’ve got isn’t really what you’ve promised.

The problem with this instinctive triggers is that they can make ANYTHING seem really special and valuable. But once the effect of the triggers wear off, they’ll see that “thing” (which is usually YOU, btw), for what it REALLY is. Which is usually not nearly as great as they thought it was.

That’s why using these in seduction is not really a good idea, unless you are some kind of “pump-n-dump” or “hit-it-and-quit-it” type of guy.

So if that’s manipulation, what’s persuasion?

Kind of the same. Only you find out what their (whoever THEY are) SPECIFIC triggers are based on the situation.

If you’re selling a car, for example, you find out what specific things get their juices flowing when they think about their idea car.

If you’re talking about a health club membership, you talk about their ideal health goals and how they’d like to achieve them.

Then it’s just a matter of taking their specific triggers, and matching them up with your product, if you can.

Now, if you FIRST find out what their specific triggers are, THEN see that they match your product pretty closely, THEN use their unconscious, pre-programmed triggers, they’ll literally fall in love with you and your product.

If you can do this consistently in sales, you can make a TON of money.

How does it apply to seduction and dating? 

Same basic structure.

Just get them talking in terms of what they’re looking for in a relationship. Of course, you can’t do this overtly, it’s got to be covert.

But however you do so, when you get them talking in terms of love, commitment, a future together, a family, whatever, you’re doing pretty good.

And if you see there’s a match, even better. Once you do, then you can start using the unconscious triggers, and you’ll be home free.

Just DON’T use these to build up emotions for short term fun, especially if SHE’S looking for long term stuff.

That’s pretty evil, and it WILL come back to haunt you.

But so long as you’re open, honest and on the up and up, this works pretty well.

Always Be Ready To Bounce

Keep One Of These In Sight At All Times

Always Have An Exit Strategy

What thing that can get anybody into a heap of trouble is having unrealistic expectations.

It works like this. You think you’re going to get something good. Doesn’t matter what. But if something happens and you DON’T get it, you’re going to feel cheated.

Now, if you think you might have one more slice of pizza leftover from last night, but really don’t, that’s not so bad.

The trouble comes when you think you are going to get something from somebody else.

Most people set themselves up for HUGE pains when they think they are getting something they deserve, and it doesn’t show up.

Even if somebody tells you they are giving you something for free, and then they change their mind, you’re going to feel cheated.

There’s no rhyme or reason to this, it’s just human nature.

And when there’s sex or romance of affection involved, it REALLY hurts.

Guy walks up to a girl, and he does everything right. She’s even into him for a while, friendly, flirty, touchy-feely, etc.

Then he number closes her, and gets shut down.

In this situation, it is REALLY easy to feel burned. Like she played you for a chump. Like she’s off with her buddies laughing all the free booze she mooched off you.

And yes, this DOES happen. Quite a bit.

But guess what?

Getting angry will ONLY make it worse.

Getting angry or hurt because of what a girl DIDN’T give you will make you much LESS attractive, not the other way around.

This why any idea of “deserving” should be absolutely ABSENT from your mind whenever you’re interacting with the ladies.

No girl wants to end up with a guy that she’ll feel any sort of obligation to.

No guy wants that either.

Humans are hard wired to cherish our freedom. Our freedom of thought.

Whenever you try to put her in a box where she SHOULD behave in a certain way, you’re basically trying to get her to be your willing mind slave.

Nobody likes doing things because they HAVE to. We only want to do things because we CHOOSE to.

So next time you’re out and about, think of how you could behave and interact with her so she’ll CHOOSE you, rather than feel obligated by any imaginary social pressure.

How do you do this?

Luckily, all humans are hard wired to want what we think we can’t have.

This is why being confident AND slightly aloof is so powerful.

Talk to her, enjoy her, but also radiate a slight vibe that says, “I like you, I enjoy you, but if you suddenly vanished from site, I’d recover pretty quickly.”

If she ever THINKS she has you, you’re done.

And any sign of neediness or expectation of what she SHOULD do is about a clear a sign as you can send that she does indeed have you.

Avoid this at all costs.

Friendly, confident, playful, and ready to bounce at any moment.

Your Biggest Obstacle To Love

It's All In Your Head

Hint: It’s All In Your Mind

Most everything you’ll read or be sold today regarding seduction and dating is partly a scam.

I don’t mean that sellers or bloggers are scamming readers or customers. It’s the people reading and buying that are scamming themselves.

The biggest block to guys getting the girls they want is fear. I know many guys will disagree, and say their not afraid. It’s just that the market is too bad. Or they don’t want to spend a lot of money. Or they don’t have the right job, or whatever.

But think about this, if you can. Imagine you’re at the grocery store, and you’d like an apple. You have an idea of the perfect apple. So you head over to the apple cart. You start picking up the apples, looking at them, feeling their softness or hardness. Finally after ten minutes or so (you’re REALLY picky when it comes to apples) you finally settle on the perfect one.

Now, when you were picking up any individual apple, what were your emotions like? Afraid, nervous, worried, impatient, bored?

Most likely not. You looked at this big pile of apples and were pretty certain you’d find ONE that would be perfect. It may take a few minutes, but you KNEW you’d find one. The entire time, you’d likely be thinking “Man, this is going to taste SO GOOD!”

Now, just for the sake of argument, imagine if you could talk to girls, all girls, with the same mindset. Zero fear, zero anxiety, zero worry, zero consideration to what other people were doing or whether or not they were watching you.

Would you have ANY trouble finding your dream girl, REGARDLESS of your status in life?

Nope.

But many guys are terrified to admit they are terrified. So they come up with all kinds of excuses. Some of them cover up their fears by approaching and closing TONS of women, creating numerous but shallow relationships that are based on nothing but drunken fun. (Not that there’s anything wrong with drunken fun!)

The structure is the same, inspecting apples vs. dating girls, but the time period is far, far longer.

What if you were as completely open and fearless with not only talking to girls, but dating them, and completely and confidently opening yourself up to them?

Not only that, but what if you had such rock solid criteria, you’d know RIGHT AWAY if they were your type or not. There’d be NO WAY they could fool you.

What would your life be like then?

Would you need a billion and one pick up lines? Would you need to strategically organize your bedroom for the most efficient, resistance free closing?

Most likely not.

Obviously, this is much more easier said than done. Even admitting that the biggest problem is emotional resistance is tough for most guys.

It’s hard to let go of being able to blame the world, blame society, blame women, whatever.

But once you realize all you need to do is get over your irrational fears, there’s a whole world of women out there just waiting to be loyal to a guy like you.

Should You Go Your Own Way?

Do You Really Want To Give Up A Chance of Intimacy?

Be Careful Of Rash Decisions

Many men these days have voluntarily taken themselves out of the game.

And that’s a shame. Because getting together with a girl who’s into you as much as you are into her is a feeling matched by no other.

Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder to create that “special relationship.”

Or is it?

The human mind is incredibly complex and has all kinds of programmed thinking routines, most of them subconscious, to protect the ego.

One of those is the “sour grapes” mindset. You see something you want, but you can’t get it, so you convince yourself that you don’t want it.

This is easy to do, and it’s essential.  Since by very nature, (and economic law) humans are hard wired to have unlimited wants, yet we live in a world where things are scarce.

Which means we’ll necessarily want things that we can’t get. That is simply baked into the cake of life on Earth.

Now, throughout the long course of evolution, Mother Nature has made it easy on us.

Think of it this way. If we had to spend our lives chasing things that we wanted, but mostly couldn’t get, that would suck. Really suck.

In fact, there was probably a race of cavemen way back in the day that went after animals, couldn’t get them, and then moped around for days, or even weeks.

Since those guys never got laid, and didn’t get a chance to pass on those “we suck” genes, those dudes were eliminated from the gene pool.

So here we are, a couple hundred thousand years later, easily able to con ourselves.

“Did you get that girls number?”

“No, but she smokes, and she seems like a bitch.”

“Wow man, you really dodged a bullet!”

That way, we can make an easy recovery, and quickly set our sites on the next target.

Unless we give up completely.

It’s one thing to convince ourselves that any particular woman is undesirable (in order to protect our ego from the pain of rejection) but it’s something else completely to convince ourselves that ALL WOMEN are undesirable.

Now, aside from any economic arguments (divorce, child support, etc), you still can find some women that fit your criteria, so long you don’t give up.

To be sure, meeting girls shouldn’t be the number one priority in your life. But the idea of meeting women shouldn’t be off the table completely.

So long as you’ve got some solid criteria, as well as some decent sorting and qualifying skills, you won’t run into too much trouble.

After all, having options is much better than not having options.

And if you remove yourself from the dating pool completely, you are pretty much cutting off the option of meeting a nice lady to keep you happy for any span of time.

Just something to consider.

mindpersuasion.com

Get Ready For Game Day

There's Only One Way To Get Better

Practice Makes Perfect

If you want to develop rock solid confidence with girls, this is for you.

Now, to start off you need to understand this is NOT a magic switch.

Talking confidently to girls, ANY girl, is a skill. And just like any skill, it takes practice. And no matter who you are, the more practice you put in, the better you’ll get.

But you still need to practice.

Now, even guys that are pretty good NEVER practice. Imagine being on a sports team and ONLY playing when you had a regular season game. That would be a really lame way to organize your team. If you were the manager you’d be fired pretty quick.

Obviously, teams that practiced more would perform the better. 

When it comes to girls, not only do most guys NEVER practice, but each and every time they talk to a girl, it’s not even a regular season game. It’s the bottom of the ninth in the world series, and they’re down by three runs.

So, the first realization is to make time for practice. When you are practicing, you are NOT picking up. You are not EVER going to meet these girls again, even if they throw themselves at you.

Practice is practice. Game time is game time.

How do you practice?

It all depends on what level you’re comfortable with. Whatever that is, that’s a good place to start.

Say you’re good at saying “Hi” to cute girls, but after that you collapse into a puddle of terror.

So your “practice” is to go and say “hi” to ten or twenty girls, every day for a week or so.

Choose ONE DAY out of the week to be “game day.” These are girls you’re allowed to number close and call and date if you can.

Otherwise, they’re only practice.

Now, this next part is crucial. The other component of actual, in-the-field physical practice is mental practice.

Every single night (preferably before sleep so your subconscious can process it), mentally review whatever practice you did that day.

Only re-engineer the memory so it’s slightly better than what actually happened. But only slightly.

And ONLY re-engineer YOUR PART, don’t re-engineer any responses you get. So if you said a timid “hi,” change your memory so you said very congruent “Hey!” with a nice smile.

This is pretty easy, and the more you do this, the better you’ll get. No two ways about it.

It will only take a few minutes per day, and a few minutes per night.

If you did this for six months solid, your game would improve by leaps and bounds, and talking to real girls, on GAME DAYS would be much, much easier, and much, much more successful than it is now.

The only question is, are you willing to practice?

Get Started:

mindpersuasion.com

Mind Tricks To Kill Fear

Is This What Talking To Girls Feels Like?

Control Your Thoughts – Control Everything

Imagine if you tried swimming using the following method.

You stood there on the side of the pool, shaking from fear. All your buddies were swimming, but you weren’t sure if you could do it.

Maybe you looked at a point off in the distance, and imagined how cool it would be to swim over there. Then you imagined the cold hand of death grabbing your ankle and pulling you down to the lonely bottom.

You grit your teeth, and jump in. Only you don’t try and swim. You just kind of float there. Then suddenly your instincts kick in, and you start dog paddling. Everybody’s laughing. You paddle back to where you came from, and climb out.

Absolutely humiliated.

This is very similar to what most guys do when they approach girls. Especially when they’re nervous while approaching.

Now, if you’re nervous and you approach anyway, congratulations. Most guys can’t do this.

But when you approach, there’s some things you can do to make it a lot easier, and some things to do that will make it a lot harder.

The thoughts you hold in your head WHILE approaching are crucial. If you don’t purposely hold positive thoughts, your caveman brain will take over.

This is like you dog paddling in the pool. Running on instincts.

But if you approach with some positive thoughts, and HOLD those thoughts, it will be a lot easier.

This would be like swimming the crawl, based on conscious thinking, rather than dog paddling, based on instinct.

Every action you take, there’s a battle going on in your mind. Your conscious, rational self, vs. your caveman instincts.

Your caveman instincts are usually only good if you’re in a caveman environment. Like there’s some sort of horrible, life threatening danger, and you’ve got to take care of business.

But when talking to cute girls, your caveman brain is NOT your friend.

Your conscious mind is.

What thoughts should you think?

Firstly, you’ll need to FORCE them in the forefront of your brain. Like you might need to consciously remember how to swim.

Any thoughts of any positive EXPERIENCES with women will do. Ideally, you should have a positive experience in the recent past, and one in the near future. Which will take place AFTER you talk to the girl you’re about to talk to.

Any positive experience will work. A girl that smiled at you. A cute girl you talked to at Starbucks (whether she was working there or not.)

ANY experience will do.

This works for many reasons.

You won’t see the girl you’re about to talk to as a life or death situation. 

Which means you’ll significantly tone down any neediness or desperation. She’ll pick up on this, and this will increase her likelihood of being attracted to you.

Now, this can be tough to do if you don’t have ANY positive experiences with women. But you can certainly go and get some.

Just hit up some shops or restaurants around town where cute girls work. DO NOT try and pick them up. Just be friendly with them. Go in once a week or so. Learn their names, and tell them yours.

Remember, these are NOT girls you are picking up or number closing or getting advice from or anything. Just some girls to have a friendly, BRIEF, chit-chat with while you drink your coffee or whatever.

THEN, when you see some girls you’d like to talk to, for real, think of those “practice girls” while you do so.

Do this long enough, and you’ll be building up a HUGE amount of positive experiences with women.

Just remember that this ISN’T automatic, at least not at first. The first couple dozen times you talk to real girls, in the real world, you’ll need to FORCE your brain to think of those positive experiences, WHILE APPROACHING and WHILE TALKING.

But if you keep it up, that feeling of “good experiences with women” WILL become automatic.

And you’ll have suddenly turned into a natural.

The Myth Of Seduction Techniques

Get In The Game And Have Some Fun

Your Own Experience Is The Best Teacher

There are two types of tasks. Ones that take a long time, and ones that are over in a hurry. Tying your shoes, cooking dinner, fixing the squeak in your front door. These are “static” tasks that are once and done.

You don’t expect your shoes to keep coming untied, or that squeak to come back every couple days. (Or time to flow backwards and your dinner suddenly becoming uncooked).

Other tasks take much, much longer. One because they are much more involved. Two because the parameters of the task changes over time.

For example, think of a baseball game. The task is to win the game. But how that’s done isn’t specified. It all depends on what the opposing team does.

And it depends on what team you’re playing. As much they can, statisticians scout the opposition, so they can better understand who they’re up against. Even then it’s based a lot on human performance. Lesser teams beat better teams all the time.

Imagine if you wanted to know how to succeed in baseball, but you were afraid of playing. Imagine you bought a book called “How To Win Every Game You Play.” And the book was filled with strategies, techniques, gambits and plays that were guaranteed to “win every time.”

Or imagine you went down to your local bookstore and saw some guy selling such a book. You walked up and asked him:

“Are these strategies GUARANTEED to work?” 

“Yes Sir! No matter WHO you are playing against, no matter WHAT their strategy is, the techniques in this book will allow you to win every single game. In fact, we GUARANTEE you’ll go all the way, AND WIN the world series! It doesn’t even matter WHO your players are!”

Would you believe him?

I certainly hope not!

Yet this is precisely what guys are desperately looking for in the world of dating. Some guaranteed, sure fire line or strategy that will make ANY GIRL fall in love with him. Regardless of the girl, and regardless of the guy.

Part of the reason is that most guys are absolutely TERRIFIED of rejection. So instead of getting some experience of getting rejected (and proving to themselves it’s not deadly) they instead look for ways to AVOID REJECTION completely.

Some spend their entire lives looking for some “Holy Grail of Seduction” that will get them ALL of the rewards (sexy gorgeous women who throw themselves at them) with NONE of the risks.

Take a step back and you’ll see this is pretty much the human condition. Humans are terrified of failure, but at the same time want the opposite of failure. This has made us easy marks since the dawn of time.

Anybody that can convince us we can get the goods without the risks is going to make a lot of money (before they blow town!)

Problem is that’s just not possible. Just like every team is different, and every day is different, every girl is different.

And every girl is different from day to day. And so are you.

Creating a relationships is not like cooking dinner or fixing a squeaky door. It’s a lifelong process. One that involves exposing yourself to a lot of risk.

If you aren’t willing to accept and embrace risk, you’ll never get the good stuff.

The good news is that you’re not really risking anything. You aren’t going to go broke if you say the wrong thing. You aren’t going to get hit by a bolt of lighting if she laughs at your lame pick up line. Your heart isn’t going to stop if you lean in for the kiss and she gives you her cheek.

Failure is essential. It teaches you what DOESN’T work, so you can try what does.

The more you fail, the more you’ll succeed.

Be Sociable To Find Your Dream Girl

She's Not Going To Come To You!

Get Off Your Couch!

Many people feel stuck, especially when it comes to the ladies.

It’s kind of like having a job. When you’ve got a good one, everybody wants to hire you.

But when you’re unemployed, and have been for some time, nobody wants to touch you.

Same with the ladies. When you’re in a happy relationship, it seems every girl’s got eyes on you and wants to jump your bones.

But when you haven’t gotten any in a while, no female wants to be around you.

It’s easy to understand why this is. When you’re in a happy relationship, you radiate ZERO neediness. Nothing but happy, relaxed confidence. You like yourself, you like your life. You walk the Earth like everything’s groovy. Girls pick up on this, and they want some.

On the other hand, if you haven’t even touched a female since Bush was president, you radiate something different completely. Neediness, lust, desperation. Things that women absolutely HATE.

So, what do you? How do you remedy this situation? Easy.

Consider how you’d get in shape if you haven’t moved from your sofa in a couple years. First you’d start walking ten or twenty minutes every day. Then maybe a bit longer.

Then you might actually do a couple sit ups and push ups in the morning. Maybe you’d even join a gym.

Keep it up, and pretty soon your jogging a couple miles in the morning, and then hitting the gym every other night after work.

Before long, you’re in pretty decent shape.

Now, imagine if you got right off the couch and tried to run two miles. Then spent an hour in the gym. If you didn’t end up in the hospital, you’d be sore as hell the next day, and you’d likely never work out again.

See what I’m getting at?

You can get whatever you want. Money, girls, a six pack. You just gotta take it slow.

So, how do you take is slow when you’re ultimate goal is to have a sexy sweetheart to call your own?

Start talking to people. Become sociable. Talk to the old lady at the grocery store. Talk to people at work.

Pretty soon talking to people will be easier and easier. And you’ll notice that many people actually LIKE talking to you. They’ll SMILE when they see you coming.

Just keep pushing out your comfort zone very slowly, and eventually pretty girls will be among those you talk to.

And one of them might be the girl of your dreams.

Will it be easy? Probably not. But it won’t be any more difficult than walking twenty minutes every morning if the furthest you’ve ever been is your fridge.

Most guys imagine they need some kind of magic “fix” and then it will be all good with the ladies.

It doesn’t work like that. It takes time, and dedicated effort.

But just like changing from a big squishy couch potato into a solid mass of muscle, if you put in the effort, you WILL get the results.

Just as surely as the night follows day.

These Mind Tools Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com