Category Archives: Dating

Make Her Wait For Sex?

Don't Be So Easy!

Can All The Gurus Be Wrong?

Imagine you lived in a house, and you had an extra room to rent. So you put an add on Craigslist or wherever, saying the location and the rent. Some guy showed up, and all you knew about him was he had the cash in hand. Six months worth.

Would you accept him as your roommate? Most people wouldn’t. Most would ask some questions, at the very least. Does he smoke? Does he work, if so, what hours? Does he play the drums? Play loud music? Cook weird food at six in the morning? On the run from the law?

Most people recognize right away you’d need to screen your roommates. Call some references, etc.

But this is precisely what most guys DON’T do when they meet girls. All they care about are two things, one is she’s hot. Two is she’s willing to sleep with him.

This is exactly like ONLY demanding your imaginary future roommate can pay his rent, and nothing else.

Now, some guys don’t really care about what kind of girl she is. They’re not looking for Ms. Right, they’re looking for Ms. Right Now. They don’t care what happens the next morning.

But what if you’re looking for something a bit more long term? Something that can many turn into something more permanent?

Then you’d better know what you’re looking for!

Whether or not she’s hot, and wether or not she’s good to go (with you) is only the beginning. Cavemen from a hundred thousand years ago had the same criteria.

Which means it may be a pretty good idea to think of what kind of girl you’d like to wake up next to in the morning.

Not only that, but it may also be a good idea to figure out a way to screen her BEFORE you wake up next to her in the morning.

I know this is contrary to pretty much everything every guru and online game expert will tell you. That getting laid is the number one, primary goal. Nothing else matters.

But if you want to see her for more than a few drunken hours of fun, you might want to keep your little buddy in his pants.

I know, sacrilegious advice!

But think about it this way. If you took your time, got to know her a little bit, pretty soon you’d have a LOT of high quality candidate to choose from.

Think of this from a sales perspective. Sure, you CAN sell things to people quickly. But most people who buy things quickly don’t have money, or they have horrible credit. Because they are always buying things without thinking!

But the customers that take a while to close, the customers that think a lot about what they are buying, these are high quality customers. Customers that will keep buying from you again and again.

Of course, it depends you. What you want, and what you’re willing to do to get it.

Is Being Yourself Really Bad Advice?

Are You Too Reliant On Game?

The Dangers Of Too Much Game

What’s the biggest mistake most guys make? They try to create attraction when none is there.

Sure, there are some things, many things, that will improve your odds. If you wear nice clothes rather than something out of a dumpster, or you shower once a day instead of once a week.

There’s a myth that you can do or say certain things that will make her like you. Take a close look at that last sentence.

If a girl is to like “you,” then your words and behaviors have to be an accurate representation of “you.” Which means if you’re looking for somebody to tell you what to do or what to say, then you’re not really being “you.” 

This is one reason many guys crash and burn after only a short while. If you practice your game until it’s really tight, sure you can pull it off for a while. But sooner or later, you’re going to run out of material.

If you’ve ever talked to a stand up comedian in real life, you know they are usually pretty different in person, in an unscripted, un televised, unrehearsed conversation. Some people make the mistake of thinking they’re always running around telling funny stories to everybody they meet.

Sure, if all you care about is short term flings, then this will work very, very well. But if you want something more, you’ve got to be somebody that she is attracted to.

Meaning when she gets to know the real you, which she will eventually, she’s got to KEEP that level of attraction.

Which means that it if you’re looking for something long term, using any kind of game technology that’s NOT part of who you are might not be a great idea. 

It might even lead to the wrong conclusion about women in general, one that is very prevalent today. You practice a little bit of game, you use some techniques to increase her attraction. You get some success, but then you run out of material, she loses interest, and she’s gone.

If all you know is the above scenario, it may seem like all women are shallow, immoral creatures who’ll only stick around if you’ve got a lot of money.

If that’s how you feel, you may want to step back a bit, and dial down the game. Just be yourself. I know that on all kinds of dating forums this is the worst possible advice.

But many guys confuse “being yourself” with “being a nice guy.” Being a nice guy is the furthest thing from being yourself.

A nice guy is terrified of rejection, so he’s ultra careful about what he says or does.

But when you are yourself, you’re yourself no matter WHO you are talking to.

Sure, if you’re talking to some old lady in line at the supermarket, you might not want to cuss like a sailor, but you can certainly talk like you normally talk to your buddies.

Same with girls at the club, or girls at the library.

Talk to them like normal people, and you may be surprised.

The Myth Of Female Desire

Attraction Is Like Hunger

Are You Building A False Image?

What do women want?

All you’ve got to do is figure this out, and you’ll be in good shape, right?

Maybe.

First, remember that attraction, deep physical and emotional attraction is an instinct. Sure, the longer you’re in a relationship with somebody, and the more you get to know each other, and the more you learn to respect and support each other, you can certainly “grow to love them.”

And certainly this is the way relationships were built for most of human history. That instant lust that we all sometimes confuse for love wasn’t there in the beginning. It was a long, slow process.

But these days, you’d need to belong to some crazy religious cult or seriously consider one of those mail order bride websites to get together with somebody you barely know.

Which means in order to create a decent relationship, you’ve got to be able to create real attraction.

And once again, keep in mind this is an instinct.

Consider another instinct. Hunger. If you are hungry, you might not be sure what you want. You certainly can’t predict what you would like. Sure you might try and scan your memory to some of the things you’ve eaten in the recent past, or maybe imagine a few restaurants in your neighborhood.

But this is only an approximation. A conscious guess of how your unconscious will respond to a certain stimuli.

You could not even know you’re hungry, and then suddenly somebody puts a plate of food in front of you that you’ve never seen, and suddenly it’s your favorite dish!

This is an instinct, and we simply can’t predict how we’ll respond to certain stimuli unless it’s in front of us.

When creating attraction in women, this presents a few problems.

No woman is going to know how she’ll feel about any guy until she interacts with him. Pictures won’t do it. A copy of his resume won’t do it. Even his ultra polite behavior on a first date won’t do it.

So asking her what kind guy she likes is kind of pointless. Or even dangerous if you listen to her answer and assume it’s actually true.

This would be like you saying you’d like to eat a cheeseburger, and then suddenly wolfing down a plate of chicken wings. You weren’t lying, you were only guessing. But somebody who was busily cooking you a cheeseburger based on what you said wouldn’t really understand.

So trying to figure out what women want, and then trying to figure out how to turn yourself into that person is not a great strategy.

So what is?

Just talk to as many woman as you can. Find the one that is turned on by the natural you. And who spurs the natural desire in you for her.

It may take a while, but when you find her, you’ll be glad you put in the effort.

Is Dating Dead?

Quality Will Always Be In Demand

Quality Will Always Be In Demand

For most guys, there’s a pretty tough stage when it comes to women. That is if you are trying to create a traditional relationship. For some guys, all they want is to get laid, and get laid a lot, and this is actually pretty easy, once you get the hang of it.

But getting a “quality girl” for a “quality relationship” is not so easy.

In the old days, before the internet and social media, it was pretty straightforward. You grew up, dated a few girls, maybe even only one or two, and settled down for life.

Now, some people claim that people aren’t as “pure” as  they used to be, or they aren’t as “moral” as they used to be.

The truth is that people have many, many more options then they used to. Think of it this way. A typical guy who lived fifty years ago didn’t have that much experience with a lot of women. Not on TV, certainly not online, and usually not in real life.

The ONLY way to even see women was in person. And there simply weren’t too many places where guys and girls would go and hook up. Which meant that most men met most women through their neighborhood, their social circle, their church, their work, etc.

Which meant that when they found somebody halfway decent, they hung on for dear life. Both men and women.

Today, however, we have the illusion of choice. Anybody can go on Facebook and feel popular. Anybody can watch vlogs of girls talking and pretend, on a subconscious level, they’re in a “conversation” with her, especially if they make comments and she responds.

There’s no shortage of online forums where people can safely interact from their own homes, and put on whatever personal they’d like to pretend to be.

Does this mean the dating game is done? Killed? Dead and buried?

It can certainly seem like it. If you are with a girl who’s just not into you, she’s going to have a million options other than sitting there pretending she’s into you.

Which only means one thing.

If you really DO want to create a special relationship, you’ve got to seriously increase what you bring to the table.

Massive social skills, self-confidence, and ultra powerful frame, and a iron-clad set of criteria that you’re looking for.

Just showing up to the club and spitting enough game to get laid is not going to get you very far.

What will?

Genuine social skills. Face to face social skills. The kind where you walk into a room and people would RATHER interact with you, in person, than stare at their phones.

Sure, developing this level of social skill takes practice. And for many guys, they’d rather bitch and moan about how hard it is.

What about you?

Bottom line is that most people want great things, but aren’t willing to put in the work required to get them.

But if you DO put in the work, you WILL get them.

Get Girls Caveman Style

Sexual Division Of Labor

Division Of Labor

One way to help understand male-female relationships is to imagine we are still cave people.

Humans evolved over a long, long time, and the time we’ve been living in cities is very, very short.

We’ve been in our current form, more or less, for about 100K years. Sure, there are all kinds of different theories as to the specifics, but the bottom line is that in the big picture, we’ve been cave people a lot longer than we’ve been city living folks.

Which means that all of our instincts, specifically the ones that drive male-female attraction, and the ones that serve as the glue for male-female relationships, have been with us a long, long time.

Before technology, before electricity, before running water. Before money was invented.

So the same things that got guys and girls interested in each other back then, and kept them together, still holds true today. It may not seem like it with so much distractions, but it’s still there.

One reason humans did so well was we formed pair-bonds that generally lasted a lifetime. Sure there were exceptions, but those only prove the rule.

And the reason these pair bonds worked so well was because there was a sexual division of labor. Meaning guys did one thing, and girls did something else. Bottom line was the guys hunted, and girls gathered.

Which meant we could live in a lot different environments, since both hunting AND gathering got a lot of different types of food.

Think about this. Every day, the guys would go hunting. And the girls would gather. Both working to support the family.

The idea of a “stay at home mom” is not only an aberration in recent history, due to some extreme productivity in economics, but it’s not part of our evolutionary makeup.

Why is this important?

Because when you choose a girl for a relationship, looking pretty is just the start. You’ve got to be able to trust her, to depend on her, and make sure she’s got your back, and you’ve got hers.

Meaning when it comes to building your life, you’ve both got to be on the same page.

Keeping this in mind can help with the initial approach.

You’ve got to screen pretty carefully, as many girls simply won’t match your criteria.

This, of course, assumes you’ve got some life plans aside from playing video games and checking Facebook.

Get a plan, and start looking for a girl to help you get it.

Is it really that simple?

It’s been working for humans for thousands of years, why not you?

When Should You Use Seduction Technology?

What's The Rush?

What’s The Rush?

Here’s a dream scenario, of what an interaction with a girl would go, as most guys imagine it.

You walk up to her and use some kind of opener. She’s intrigued, and turns toward you. The more you talk, the more she becomes interested. Pretty soon she’s got the whole room fazed out in her mind, and all she sees is you.

You pay attention to her lips, they are slightly parted, and swollen. If you pay attention to her pupils, they are getting bigger and bigger. That unconscious response we all have when we’re looking at something we like.

If you touch her, she increases all her signs of attraction. Her eyes get a bit bigger, she takes a deep breath (as if she secretly wishes you were touching her somewhere else).

Whenever you say something and nod, she slightly nods as well, in perfect agreement.

So far so good, right?

Now, if ALL you want is some quick sex, and nothing else, this is as good as it gets. But most guys, even though they claim they want to love ’em and leave ’em, really want more.

Sure, sex is great. But when you’re having sex with somebody that really gets you, really believes in you, and is genuinely concerned (both for her own reasons and for yours) that you’ll be successful in life, this is a MUCH different feeling than having sex with some girl you’ve just met.

One problem of creating massive sexual desire in an hour or so is you have ZERO idea of what this girl is like. And unless she’s totally OK with getting with a guy and banging him within an hour, a couple of things are likely to happen.

One is that she’ll think you tricked her, or put something in her drink. This is very bad. Unless you’re a traveling salesman and plan to blown town in the morning, this could get you in serious trouble.

Or she could convince herself that she’s found “The One.” Why else would she sleep with you so quickly unless she absolutely KNEW you were soulmates?

This, also, could present some serious problems if you aren’t planning on slinking back to your secret hideaway in the morning.

So yea, it’s fun to create that attraction pretty quickly. But it’s also pretty frikkin dangerous.

So here’s another alternative. Another way to create that same MASSIVE sexual desire, WITHOUT all the potential problems.

First, come up with a list of criteria. Things that MUST be true about your idea girl.

Then find a girl that HAS all those criteria.

Then take her on a couple dates, just to make sure. When you ARE sure, then let loose with the mad patterns and seduction tools.

Then you’ll have a highly qualified girl, who’s perfect for you, who wants nothing more than to bang you silly.

Again and again and again.

The Never Ending Cycle Of Means and Ends

You Can't Have One Without Leading Into The Other

One Leads To Another

No matter what you do, it’s always a mix of two things.

Means, and ends.

Now, this may be a bit of an oversimplification. You can take pretty much any one thing or process and come up with a kajillion different categories to put them in. Good things and bad things. Legal and illegal. Safe or dangerous, etc.

But for the sake of this post, we’ll talk in terms of ends and means. Means is simply what you do to get the ends.

But few things are purely one or the other. And end is useless unless it’s part of a bigger process, or means, to get an even bigger end.

This is helpful to think about when you’re out with the intention of meeting people, especially the ladies.

Most guys see a cute girl, and suddenly all their problems will be solved if only she accepts them. Then they’ll be the hero of Earth, and never worry about anything again.

But even if you walk up and she falls madly in love with you, SHE is still a means to a greater end. Certainly, you are not going to use her and throw her aside like a spent Dixie cup. Hopefully you’ll see her as a partner in creating a relationship, even for a short time. And that relationships is going to be a means to create an ends of more happiness, self expression, and sexual fulfillment.

Now, if you walked up and said all this, you may sound like Data from Star Trek.

But this is how you are programmed.

All humans are built with goal seeking mechanisms, and feedback mechanisms.

And within each feedback mechanism are all kinds goals in and of themselves.

Just think about walking. Your overall intention is to get from here, to over there.

But in the process of doing so, you need to keep balance, and keep one foot going in front of the other.

If you captured only a second or two in time, and played it over and over, each step of your foot would be an end, within a larger process.

The bigger you go, the same this same structure exists. From the smallest atom all the way up to the galactic truth of why this whole thing exists.

Not to get too metaphysical, but no matter WHAT happens with that one particular girl, the same overarching goals still exist, and you will still pursue them.

So instead of seeing her as a “make or break” princess of the realm, just see her as maybe part of your own process, maybe not.

Go over and talk to her, and see what happens.

How To Properly Discriminate

Discrimination Isn't Always Bad

Increase Speed And Accuracy

They say discrimination is a bad thing, and should be avoided at all costs.

While this is true for some things, it’s certainly not true for others.

“Discriminate” is one of those vague words that has taken on some negative connotations in the past few decades.

But what does it mean?

Basically, it means looking at several choices, and choosing one for your purposes, based on some specific qualities of the things you are looking at.

Like if you wanted to buy only red apples and not green ones, you would discriminate by color. Absolutely nothing wrong with this when buying apples.

Or if you were choosing a job, and you only wanted to work in a couple cities, you would discriminate by location.

This only becomes a problem when you are assuming things about the “thing” which you are choosing, based on a very superficial quality.

Like the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” It could have a crappy cover, but be a great story. Or could have a fantastic cover, but be a horrible book.

Personally, I’ve been “conned” many times by choosing a DVD by the cover, only to find that the movie absolutely sucked. (Sometimes I think they spend more money on the cover than they do on the actual movie!)

One type of discrimination is absolutely crucial.

The women you choose to be with. Now, all humans are pre-programmed with some basic filters on what they find attractive, and what they don’t find attractive. We automatically discriminate this way. But since it’s unconscious, we don’t really acknowledge it.

But that’s not what I’m getting at.

Since getting together with (or chasing) the wrong women can cause you a LOT of grief, it’s a good idea to make sure you choose wisely.

The more accurately you can discriminate, and the earlier, the better.

Ideally, you’d be able to tell if she was your type or not within the first few minutes of talking to her.

That way you don’t waste any time.

Of course, if all you want to do is get laid, then you’ll walk up to any attractive enough girl with a pulse and do and say anything to get her into bed.

Again, that’s not what we’re after here.

So, how do you discriminate, or to use a less loaded word, qualify?

First, you need to be comfortable around attractive women so you don’t get hypnotized by their beauty.

The easiest way to do this is to simply talk to as many attractive girls as you can find. Not to pick them up, just to fill your brain with experience.

And the more you talk to, you’ll learn something amazing.

Some of them will become MORE attractive the more you talk to them.

Some of them will become LESS attractive the more you talk to them.

The more of this experience you get, the easier it will be to qualify.

Ultimate Life Strategy For Romance

Don't Be A Player

Too Much Game Is Harful

Learning too much game can do more harm than it’s worth.

There’s plenty of movies about some ultra player who’s ultra skillful with the ladies, and has billions of notches on beds all over town.

Then he meets “The One” but she sees him as a true player. Someone who’s nature is to love ’em and leave ’em.

Similar to the story of the frog and the scorpion. The scorpion begs for a ride, but the frog says he’ll sting him, and they’ll both die. The scorpion pleads and pleads, and finally the frog is convinced.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog, and they both die. Just as they are going under, the frog asks why, and the scorpion responds, “It’s my nature.”

This is the danger of learning so much game it becomes a part of who you are. So that any time you are talking to girls, you are “game mode” where you have one outcome, and one outcome only. 

To be sure, if you are absolutely certain you never ever want to settle down, then by all means. But even if you are sure now, Mother Nature has a way of messing you up when you least expect it.

You may be happily hopping from bed to bed, and then you get hit with the thunderbolt. Suddenly you’re in love. You don’t care if you ever see or sleep with another woman again.

Only problem is that girl you’re with sees you as a stone cold player.

And guess what? You may be just like that scorpion. The scorpion actually believed he wouldn’t kill the frog. But Mother Nature won.  She always does.

How do you avoid this?

If you have any inkling that you’d like to settle down in a real relationship with real potential, leave the game strategies behind.

Instead, practice simple social skills. Practice talking to people, and becoming generally interested in them. You’ll slowly expand your social circle, and build up a network of folks who’ve got your back, and you theirs.

With a solid social circle as your anchor, you’ll learn talking to cute girls doesn’t require any hidden strategies or ninja tactics. Just open, honest communication. No fear, no pretend nice guy or alpha crap to protect your ego.

Let people see the real you, while you continue to improve the real you.

You may be surprised what happens.

Two Crucial Criteria That Make Dating Much Easier

These Two Things Will Make Everything Easier

Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety

What goes through your mind when you approach a girl? If you approach girls. Many guys don’t. Or they wait until they are introduced, or they meet them through social circles, or they meet them online.

But being able to approach girls you find interesting, and start conversations with them is a very wonderful skill to have.

Now, many guys approach girls, but they find the process incredible nerve racking. Meaning they’ve got to warm themselves up. They’ve got to have a couple of drinks. They’ve got to go out with their buddies and make sure they’ve always got moral support.

That’s certainly better than never approaching, but that mind set has several limitations. One is that you are going out specifically to meet girls. This means it’s going to be very hard to be spontaneous. 

Imagine you hook up with your dream girl this way. You get married, have a bunch of kids, and you’re sitting their with your grand kids.

“Grandma, how’d you and grandpa meet?”

“Oh, he was so sweet. I was downtown in the local meet market, and he came up with his buds, all hammered, and spit out some pretty sweet game on me. He kept negging me and doing some crazy ‘push-pull’ that had me ALL confused!”

I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t how most girls dream of meeting their soul mates.

They’d like to believe that it “just happened.” They’d much rather believe you came up to them in the library, or the coffee shop, or some bookstore. And they knew you were interested, and you knew they knew, etc.

In order for THAT to happen, you’ve got to ditch the idea of “going out to meet girls” and embrace the idea of just living your life, and talking to girls you find attractive and interesting as a normal course of who you are.

Which means if you’re hanging out in a coffee shop (not to meet girls but just because you like to chill in that particular environment) and you see a cutie, you simply start a conversation and see what happens.

If she seems interested and game, you keep talking. If she pulls back, closes off, or doesn’t want to be bothered, you eject quickly AND politely. No harm, no foul.

One of the biggest mistakes guys have is not having any criteria. Meaning they see a cute girl, and they suddenly accept her just the way she is, before they even meet her.

Then when they walk up, it’s a matter of getting “accepted” or “rejected.”

But consider this, one of your most important criteria should be that SHE be open enough, self confident enough, and spontaneous enough to at least talk to you for a couple of minutes. On top of that, another important criterion is that she be interested in you enough to keep talking, or exchange numbers to talk some more, later on.

If she doesn’t meet these two criteria, then she doesn’t qualify. Nothing wrong with that.

So instead of going over and hoping you get accepted, go over just to find out what’s what.

It will make it a lot easier.