Category Archives: Fear

Do You Keep Getting Stuck?

Know Where Your Soft Spots Are

A while back me and a couple buddies went on a backpacking trip across Scotland.

Saw some cool castles, visited some nice distilleries, and learned a lot of history.

There was this one field where a famous battle took place.

Up until that point, the only Scottish battle scenes I knew about were from Braveheart.

A whole slew of dudes running at each other screaming their lungs out. Perfect for Hollywood, but not so accurate.

In reality, the bad guys were approaching slowly across this huge marshy field. The good guys (The Scots) were slowly retreating.

Why so slow?

It was a magnificent trick by the Scots. See, they KNEW where the solid ground was, and where the super soft ground was. But the bad guys didn’t.

The Scots led them to that field, and drew them in. Then one by one, they got stuck. This allowed one or two Scots to get close enough, kill the guy with a couple arrows, and then retreat back.

Took a while, but the bad guys didn’t stand a chance, even though they were much stronger in numbers.

A very similar battle took place in ancient Greece. A small group of ships were retreating from a large larger navy. Only the retreating ships were in familiar waters. They KNEW where all the sand bars were, but the bad guys didn’t. Again, one by one, the bad guys got stuck, a one ship got close enough to shoot some flaming arrows, and it was all over.

Most of us have plenty of those hidden spots. We could be walking along and then suddenly we feel stuck. Stuck but an unexpected and powerful surge of unwanted emotions that keeps us frozen. We suddenly feel put on the spot, or suddenly feel like we’re in danger, or suddenly feel like we’re being left out or ignored.

A good way to deal with these would be to take some to figure out where they come from. Look at the structure of the situations that keep eliciting them.

Then like the Greeks or the Scots, you’d know where they were, and you’d know how to avoid them.

Or you could go one step further.

You could eliminate them altogether.

Then it really WOULD be like a movie. Only you wouldn’t be running and screaming into battle (with your face painted blue), you’d just be running and laughing through life.

Like a bunch of little kids let loose on the playground.

Open waters, clear sailing, and no obstacles in sight.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

What Kind Of Movie Is Your Life?

Your Epic Hero’s Journey

I like watching movies. It’s one of the ways I like to “turn off my brain” and relax.

Some movies are really good, I can watch them over and over again.

Some moves are pleasant to watch, but I wouldn’t want to see them again.

I also like reading novels. I’ve noticed the same thing. There’s a few, really good novels that I read every few years.

People have been telling stories, in one form or another, for as far back as humans have been writing down history.

Interesting thing is that the same story structures keep popping up in various cultures.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m watching a good movie, sometimes I imagine myself in the lead role. How I’d respond to the situation, what I may do differently.

They say a good writer can come up with a character the audience can sympathize with. Meaning we watch the guy or girl and we root for them. If we can imagine ourselves in their shoes, the writer has done a good job.

One common “feeling” when watching movies is being uplifted, inspired, motivated.

Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotist) knew that stories were the most powerful way to quickly and permanently affect change in the lives of his patients.

He wasn’t one of those, “And how do you feel about that? What do you think that means?” type of therapist.

He was a “Hmm. Interesting. That reminds me of a story. Once upon a time…” type of therapist.

Sure, stories can kill time.

But they can also do a lot more.

One type of movie that generally gets slammed by critics, even though people enjoy the movie, are “feel good” movies. These are the movies where there’s never any question the good guys are going to win. There’s not much conflict, no real bad guys, just a happy adventure where the good guys have a good time and a few laughs.

While they feel good, they don’t really inspire anything.

It’s like eating something really sweet, with no nutritional value. Tastes good, but that’s about it.

On the other hand, movies that send us through the ringer are the ones we like. When we really don’t know what’s going to happen. When we really are relieved when the good guys win.

Which do you think is a more appropriate metaphor for life? Not just life in general, but your life?

A sappy, smiley, skip through the colorful meadow? Everything works out?

Or an epic adventure, where the hero’s got to dig deep and put it all on the line?

Since this is YOUR life, and YOU are the hero, what do you want?

Snappy theme songs and happy faces?

Or you do you want to get out there and slay some frikkin dragons?

Get Going:

Mind Persuasion

How To Appreciate Girls Without Getting In Trouble

Ditch The Self Judgment

Most guys are terrified of openly expressing their interest in a woman.

They’re afraid they’ll get rejected, or worse, there’re afraid they’ll be labeled as a “creep” or a “pervert” as if they are doing something wrong.

But consider this. Sexual desire is the most natural thing there is, assuming everybody is age appropriate.

If men never expressed their sexual desires, humans wouldn’t exist.

You may even say that the whole of society is a manifestation of man’s sexual desire.

But, you say, I checked that girl out the other day and she caught me, and gave me a dirty look!

Consider this. When you think of doing the nasty with a hot girl you see, it likely makes you FEEL dirty before she even sees you. Maybe because all of your experiences are the same. Maybe because when you were a kid your mom or your kindergarten teacher found you playing with your little guy and gave you a creepy look. But that wasn’t because it was inherently bad, it’s just that grownups DON’T feel comfortable talking about that stuff with kids.

It’s like one of those chicken and egg questions. What came first? Pure, honest, sexual desire, or the feeling of creepiness surround pure sexual desire?

I suggest that pure sexual desire (age appropriate, of course) is PERFECTLY NATURAL. It’s just because most people suck at expressing it that everybody THINKS it’s creepy.

But it’s not.

In a sense, when you’re checking out a girl, you’re already judging yourself as creepy or a pervert before she even takes a look.

Which means she’s not judging you as a creep because you were checking her out, she was judging you a creep because YOU judged YOURSELF a creep.

Most guys know that women want a guy who’ll lead. But what if they automatically follow a guy as their default setting?

Which means HOWEVER YOU JUDGE YOURSELF is how she is going to judge you. Not just her, but society in general.

Which is fantastic news.

Because all you’ve got to do is STOP JUDGING YOURSELF and so will she.

If you accept your sexual desire as normal, natural, and crucially, necessary for the survival of the human race, so will she.

Which means when you express your appreciation for her, even if it’s purely sexual, she will LOVE IT.

Now, this of course means you’ve got to have a healthy desire to find out about her personality, and whether or not she’s a match.

Because the bottom line truth is that most women (simply by the law of statistics) WILL NOT be a match.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy looking.

Not just looking, but appreciating.

So next time you’re out checking out the ladies, try this out.

Think these words in your mind:

“I like looking at you. You are VERY attractive. I get good feelings when I look at you. And when I’m looking at you, I’m imagining that we are PERFECT for each other and can make each other VERY HAPPY. I would LOVE to meet you to see if that’s true or not.”

Try that, and see what happens.

Girlfriend Generator

Is Your Game Based On Irrational Thinking?

Stop The Insanity!

There’s a sane way to meet girls, and an insane way.

According to Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.

Unfortunately, this is the strategy of most guys. Meaning they meet girls, date them for a couple weeks or months, and then crash and burn.

Sometimes even for a few years until it fizzles out.

Why do relationships fizzle? Why don’t they last with those good feelings you have in the beginning?

One reason is any time you get with somebody, you’re both on your best behavior. Both consciously and unconsciously. Our caveman brains are programmed to think that sexual relationships are few and far between. So when we think we’re getting close, we’re careful not to mess things up.

Then later on, we’re so thrilled to be with somebody (that we hope will be THE ONE) it has that new, fresh, feeling of discovery.

When this happens, there is an unconscious feedback loop. You push her buttons, which makes her feel good so she pushes yours, which makes you feel good so you push hers. And on and on.

In the beginning this feels fantastic, because when she pushes your buttons, it’s unexpected, so it feels like magic.

Then once you get used to each other, that “magical” feeling wears off. It is entirely possible to keep that magical feeling, but you have to push each buttons consciously. You have to push her buttons when you don’t want to, which will create pleasure in her, which will make her WANT to push your buttons.

In the beginning, the pump primes itself, but later on, you’ve got to keep it primed consciously.

This is hard to do when you’re not that compatible. When you are consciously pushing somebody’s buttons, in order to make them feel emotional pleasure, you actually have to LIKE the person beyond sexual intimacy. You have to actually RESPECT and ADMIRE the person beyond sexual and emotional intimacy.

This is not going to happen automatically.

And guess what? For every ten or twenty people you meet, there’s really only one, maybe two that you will genuinely like, admire, and respect. This goes for all people. Male and female.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to see this when meeting girls, because you’re senses are overwhelmed by potential sexual intimacy, which ALWAYS takes precedent, since it’s a survival function.

How do you get around this?

Simply come up with some characteristics of somebody you have a HIGH PROBABILITY of liking, admiring, and respecting BEFORE you go out and meet girls.

Then when you’re talking to her, before you turn on the charm, sort for these characteristics. If she has them, then seduce her till she begs for more.

But if she doesn’t? Don’t waste your time. Because you’ll know how this one ends.

Sure, it will take time to find the RIGHT GIRL for you, but you know it’s worth it.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Fear Killing Mind Tricks

Detach From Time

Most of our fears never come true.

Of course, this nifty truism doesn’t keep those imaginary fears from keeping us stuck!

One thing that can help is some mental “timeline” tricks.

For example, it’s pretty easy to get stuck in the “here and now” when thinking about most stuff.

But as humans, (and not instinct-driven animals) it’s our job to use our brains to our highest capacity.

One way to do that is look at things from different viewpoints, from a time perspective.

For example, it can help to think beyond a time in the future when something particularly nerve wracking is coming up. If you’ve got an important meeting Friday afternoon, for example, you can lessen the anxiety by focusing on what kind of delicious meal you’ll be eating Saturday night.

If you don’t have enough juice left to do ten more sit-ups, you might imagine yourself a month or two in the future when all the sexy people are admiring your six pack.

If you just can’t study for one more second, imagining the good feeling when you ace your exams may give you the extra push you need.

Another way to lessen the effect of our “imaginary” fears is to simply embrace them. Close your eyes, and imagine the worst possible thing that you can imagine. Then fully accept it. Embrace it. Feel all those feelings that would happen, and the energy underneath them.

Then imagine what you’d do next, and then after that, and after that.

If you do this enough, you can lessen any inhibitions that the fear creates.

While this is pretty good for specific fears, like asking for a raise, or asking for a phone number, here’s a way to “go meta.”

Do this when you’ve got some alone time, to sit and contemplate.

Take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

Then imagine the most horrible thing you can, from the perspective of where you are in your life. Your boss fires you, you become homeless, your true love leaves you, whatever.

Don’t worry, this is just a quick mind experiment!

Then fully embrace that situation.

Then take a step back, and instead of looking at things a couple years down the road, look at things from the perspective of your highest, most eternal self.

That self that exists beyond time, beyond space, beyond the physical body you’re currently occupying.

See this “horrible disaster” as one small speck of experience in a sea of infinite possibility. Of infinite expanding and knowing.

Kind of weird (and potentially scary) the first couple of times, but if you practice a few times a week, for only a couple minutes each time, you may notice some pretty cool changes in your life.

More peace, less fear, more emotional openness.

Give it a try.

This can help:

Kundalini Activator

How To Make An Impression On Her

You Don't Need to Be A Clown With Memorized Patterns

How To Be Confident And In The Moment

There’s a very small difference between somebody who’s really funny, and somebody who has a well practiced routine.

Like if you watch comedians a lot, they speak like they’re just jabbering away off the top of their heads. But if you meet them in person, you might get a different idea.

I had a friend once who took his kid see this famous TV comic perform at local fair. They watched him, and really enjoyed his routine. But then they went backstage to see him, and he was TOTALLY different. Withdrawn, closed off, smoking a cigarette, and not very pleasant to talk to.

Of course, not all comics are like this. In fact, the most famous ones can generally turn it on or off at a moment’s notice, but even then it’s not what it appears.

A lot of the great “improv” comics can spin a funny story based on pretty much anything. So it seems like they’re in the moment. But in reality, they have TONS of small, memorized bits based on pretty much every topic. Which means they only need to connect anything anybody says to ONE of these memorized bits, and then it’s off to the races.

To make their “game” even tighter, they are ALWAYS coming up with new material. Meaning they’ll see some woman with a red hat in line at the grocery store, then they’ll come up with a funny story associated with that particular woman, real or not, and file it away for further use.

Now, this sounds like a LOT of work, and it is! But remember, these are the guys that are world famous, and make millions of dollars a year.

Many, many people see game, as in talking to girls, they same way. They feel they need to have a whole collection of memorized patterns and topics, so they can always riff of whatever she says.

This is kind of true, but not really.

Meaning this is the way humans are hard wired to communicate anyway. Meaning if you make it a habit of talking to as many people as you can, just to talk to them, you’ll automatically be collecting a lot of stories based on a lot of different situations.

And your genius brain will AUTOMATICALLY start to bring those stories to mind whenever you’re talking to people. Which, of course, will create a self-fulfilling loop.

You talk to people, and they’ll remind of other people, and you’ll then use those old stories to mix in with that current situation.

Your experience and anecdotes will grow. Your social comfort will grow. Your ability to be “in the moment” without fear or nervousness will grow.

All you’ve got to do is make a decision to simply start being more social with people. Then when you’re talking to that cute girl, about whatever, you’ll be the most interesting person she’s talked to in a long, long time.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Running From Pain?

How To Flip Your Internal Script

There’s a theory in NLP called “meta programs.”

It basically describes a collection of filters that we carry around with us, to make it easier, quicker and less tiresome on our poor brains to make sense of the world.

Scientists have known for a while that our brains take many shortcuts in thinking to save on energy.

Most people are surprised to find out that up to 25% of the calories you burn in any single day are from your brain.

Which is why you feel so tired after studying or thinking or worrying.

So long ago, Mother Nature decided that shortcuts in thinking would be a good thing, all else considered.

Which is the theory behind these “meta programs.”

They’re not quite set in stone, meaning you can change them, but they do take a while to change on their own.

One of the most well know is whether a person is motivated by pain, or pleasure.

If you’re motivated by pain, then you only get motivated when there’s a clear and present danger. If the danger goes away, so does the motivation.

This is what leads plenty of us to look in the mirror, get disgusted with our bodies, and then vow to change our physical shape. Only when the pain of looking at our flabby belly passes by, we lose the motivation.

Same goes with making money. When you’re close to the end of you’re rope, you’ll do anything for a buck.

But once you’ve got enough to pay the rent, the bills, and a little extra in the bank, that motivation fades.

On other hand, you could be motivated by pleasure, rather than pain. Meaning if you’ve got a goal, and the closer you get to it, the more motivation you feel.

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to find that most people are motivated by pain, and not pleasure.

This is why almost all advertisements rely on building up pain, then promising to take it away, so long as you buy the product.

Then as soon as you buy the product, the pain is gone. Until you see another advertisement. Then the whole process repeats itself.

I don’t know about you, but making pain avoidance your main strategy doesn’t seem like a great way to live life.

If you are totally successful, all you’ll do is avoid pain. If you’re in pain, getting rid of it IS the most important thing.

But once the pain goes away, there’s not much else.

Like I said, this can be changed. It takes time, and effort, but it is worth it.

Instead of running away from things, you can train your mind-body system to run toward things. Things you want. Things that inspire you. Things that empower you.

Your higher self.

You may say that becoming a fully enlightened human is learning to stop focusing on what you’re moving away from, and start focusing on where you’re going.

This will help:

Kundalini Activator

What Happens When People Start Yelling?

It’s Not You, It’s Them

Most people have heard of the “Pareto Principle,” or as it’s more often called, the 80/20 rule.

In any kind of distribution, 20% of the stuff is doing 80% of the action.

If you’ve got a large sales force, 20% of the salespeople are making 80% of the sales.

If you’ve got a hundred shirts, you wear 20% of them 80% of the time.

This also comes into play when we’re talking to strangers. One huge fear that most people have is getting rejected.

So when we’ve got some idea or even a desire to simply get out there and express ourselves, we hold back because of what we fear.

But as you know, most of our fears never come true.

So what’s going to happen when we actually get out there and start talking to people (for whatever reason)?

That familiar 80/20 rule is going to kick in.

80% of the people we talk to won’t budge one way or the other. They won’t hate us, they won’t love us.

They won’t disagree with us, they won’t agree with us.

And within that twenty percent, ten will absolutely fall in love with us and our ideas, and the other ten will act like we’ve committed the gravest sin even in looking at them.

A long time ago, I used to sell cars. This young couple came in, and wanted to buy a car, but we didn’t have the right color. I told them I’d order it for them, and call them when it came in.

Only when they wrote their number down, I couldn’t read the last two digits. So I just started with 01 and worked my way up to 99 (at least that was the plan).

I was shocked to find out that one in ten (that ten percent) were very angry that I’d called their home. I wasn’t trying to sell them anything. I just was asking for a specific person.

Most people said, “Sorry, wrong number.” and I said, “Oops.” and that was that.

But one in ten got really angry.

At first, it made me a little intimidated. But after a couple people started yelling at me, it started to become kind of funny.

Now, I’m not saying you should go out and hassle people on the street just to have a few laughs, but it is pretty interesting how tightly wound up people are.

And after the third or fourth person started into their tirade, I didn’t feel it was me at all. I KNEW they were yelling at me for their own reasons.

After all, how could they possibly be angry at me, when all I said was, “Hi is Robert there?”

Think about this next time you’re thinking about interacting with strangers. One, all your fears are false. Two, the people that do give you grief, is on them, not you.

To make it even easier, check this out:

Kundalini Activator

Develop Magnetic Attraction

Head Turning Social Charisma

What is the secret of charisma?

People who seem to have that “gift” simply walk into a room, and suddenly they’ve got everybody’s attention.

I’m not talking about famous people, or super gorgeous people, or obviously rich people.

In fact, “charisma” is pretty easy to fake. Once a college student decided to do an experiment. He made up a name, created some kind of “persona” and went to his local mall.

He brought a few other students who posed as publicists, bodyguards and a cameraman.

They just followed him around, all playing their part. He wasn’t walking or acting differently. Sure enough, a few people asked some of his “people” who he was.

Before long, the whole place was buzzing with excitement. Suddenly everybody “remembered” hearing that name before, even though he’d made it up.

Soon there was a crowd of people following him. Tweeting, taking pictures and posting everywhere.

He was fake, but their excitement wasn’t.

Obviously, while an interesting insight into human behavior, (and how easy we are to trick) charisma, REAL charisma, goes much deeper than that.

People who are genuinely charismatic have this energy about them. It’s always there. They don’t need a crew or any props.

You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it’s there.

They have a certain kind of relaxed focus. A slow and steady movement. Slow and steady speech, each word flows naturally, yet is perfect to describe the ideas in their mind.

No matter who they are talking to, they focus on them completely. They not only accept and respect themselves, just as they are, but they accept and respect others, just as they are.

They don’t talk down to people, they don’t seek approval from people.

It’s as if they have a glimpse into the entire meaning of the universe, and they know their part. They accept their part. They appreciate their part. They enjoy their part.

It’s as if they see some deep connection between all people that most of us miss.

No matter what situation they are in, they know, deep in their bones, everything will be OK.

Now, many people will say having this type of “energy” is like being born tall and good looking. You either have it, or you don’t.

Luckily, they are wrong.

This energy can be developed. Cultivated, expanded, and shared with others.

You’ve had this energy all along. Waiting to be released.

Learn How:

Kundalini Activator

Do Seduction Tricks Really Work?

Beware Of Shortcuts To The Heart

Most guys would love some kind of “shortcut” to a woman’s heart.

Just take a look at some of the headlines of popular seduction products and you’ll see what I mean.

“One weird trick that will make her love you.”

“The three texts to turn her on.”

“How to get your ex back with this one weird trick.”

“The three steps to her bedroom.”

And on and one.

Can it really be this simple? Well, it CAN. But not really. If all you’re after is some physical fun, then these might work. But unless you’re some ultra jaded poon hound, that’s going to cause trouble.

Why?

Most guys can’t just pump-n-dump, as much as we like to brag like that on the Internet. Emotions have a crazy way of getting involved once we’re intimate with a woman. When it comes to love, sex, and romance, love to slide down that slippery slope.

Meaning at first it may be just physical. In fact, you may even have a conscious, rational, adult conversation that it’s going to ONLY be physical. But chances are, somebody’s going to develop feelings for somebody. Mother Nature ain’t stupid.

Sure, some primates spend their entire lives banging as many of each other as they can.

But not the human primate. We are hard wired to form long term pair bonds. And when we’re hard wired to do something, our rational plans don’t usually stand a chance.

So if you think you’re only going after a little fun, think again. As Quarterbacks are fond of saying, every time you throw a pass, three things can happen, and two of them are bad.

Same with hooking up. Three things can happen. You both bang each other silly and then go your separate ways. Or you develop feelings and she goes her separate way. Or she develops feelings and you go your separate way.

Before you even walk up to her, ask yourself, “What do I want?”

If you are absolutely sure you ONLY want to get laid, make sure you project that energy.

Make sure she knows you’re a player.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for an honest relationship, then maybe you should ditch all those “weird tricks” and “three steps” or whatever.

Just talk to her like you confident, relaxed self. Don’t be fake nice, and don’t be fake alpha.

Just talk to her, be in the moment, and see what happens.

You might be VERY surprised!

mindpersuasion.com