Category Archives: Frame Control

Secrets Of Massive Social Power

Are You Really The Captain Of Your Ship?

Leverage Your Instincts – Don’t Fight Them

I read this amazing book several years ago.

It was called “Chimpanzee Politics,” and it was about this group of chimps in this huge compound somewhere in Europe. These scientists studied them for a couple years, recording their every move and social interaction.

They behaved very, very much like humans, hence the title.

The leader, or the alpha male, got most of the sex, and most of the food.

And when you consider that chimps and humans split off from a common ancestor over two million years ago, meaning that we’ve had that same programming in us for AT LEAST that long, it’s pretty mind boggling.

How long have our conscious minds been around? Scientists figure that language is a key. And they figure that language, besides grunts and hand signals, popped up maybe 30,000 years ago.

Which means our deeper instincts, that get us to organize into these “tribal hierarchies” have been the driving force of our existence for the majority of the time.

Even today, underneath the very recent, and very thin layer of our conscious brains (the neo-cortex) is that incredibly powerful subconscious, our collection of vast instincts.

Who do you think wins when the subconscious battles the conscious?

Try making the conscious decision to hold your breath for five minutes and see what happens!

Or try going on a diet of nothing but boiled chicken breasts for a month and see what happens!

Whether we like it or not, our subconscious minds are VERY powerful, and usually in control.

I know it sounds cool to use metaphors like “our conscious minds are the captain of the ship, and our subconscious is the engine room,” but it really isn’t like that.

Otherwise dieting would be easy. Talking to strangers would be easy. Standing up in front of people and giving speeches would be easy.

Any time we try and do something and feel a flood of conflicting emotions, it’s because our feeble conscious minds are saying, “But I want to do this!” while our subconscious minds are saying, “Um…no.”

Sometimes we recognize this, sometimes we don’t.

Most of the time we don’t go along with our subconscious instincts. We fight them, wish they didn’t exist, or think we are somehow “self-sabotaging” ourselves.

The secret is to not overpower your subconscious, or even control your subconscious. That would be like trying to swim against the tide.

Our caveman brains have taken us far. Why not act in congruence with them? Why not choose goals that are congruent with our deep instincts? Why not get the tide on our side?

One way to do that is to leverage the powers of social authority.

This is one of those thing that’s incredibly powerful, that we don’t usually notice.

When you can claim your rightful place at the top of the social food chain, everything will fall into place.

Just like our distant cousins, the chimps, whoever’s at the top gets most of the stuff.

It’s GOT to be somebody.

Why not you?

Learn how:

Frame Control

How To Approach A Girl For The First Time

The Best Approach Angle For Success

Defocus With Congruence

It’s funny how things that are true on a huge, galactic scale are also true on a tiny, microcosmic scale.

Solar systems are made of suns with planets orbiting around them. Planets have moons orbiting around them. Atoms are made of a nucleus with electrons orbiting around it.

Interacting with girls is the same way, both on a large scale, and on a microcosmic scale.

For example, most guys know instinctively if you make girls the sole purpose of your life, you won’t get very far. 

Sure, there are some world famous pick up artists that are actually homeless, but because of their super tight game, they just move from relationship to relationship, always staying with the girls they are currently with. 

Even though they’re homeless, they never have to spend a single night on the street.

Now, for some, this would be a dream come true. But for most normal guys, this would kind of suck. It’s nice to have your own place, your own car, your own money, your own job and a boss who appreciated what you do and would fight tooth and nail to keep you on board.

In the big scheme of things, having a girl is a great PART of your life, to be sure. And all that comes with that later on (family, etc, if that’s what you want.)

But that shouldn’t be the central FOCUS of your life.

Similarly when you go out, making girls the most important focus isn’t likely the best strategy. Most guys, when they think back to the best nights of their lives, according to their interactions with females, were nights where they DIDN’T specifically go out looking for girls.

Take a look at this on an even smaller scale. Suppose you’re in some place with your boys, having fun. You see a cutie across the room, and you trade a few flirty eye locks.

If you dropped everything and walked over there while staring straight at her as if she were the ONLY person in the world, she’d likely flee in terror.

That’s why it’s always a good strategy to kind of “show up” next to her. Then simply “ease yourself” into a conversation with her.

Now, if you’re doing this as part of your “game,” and while you “pretend” to be nonchalant, you can’t get your mind off her, it might not work as well.

But if you’re attitude is to “make your way over there,” and “see what she’s like,” AND it’s congruent with your attitude toward girls both in life and that night, you’ll be much more successful.

You and she will be more relaxed when you talk. You’ll both be less likely to “put on your game face” and try any short term tricks.

Which means if you DO hit it off, it will be real, and not fake.

Now, holding that frame of mind can be tough.

This will help:

Frame Control

Your Inherently Programmed Recipe For Greatness

Build Your Life Any Way You Want

How To Build Any Life You Want

Being able to reverse engineer something is a great talent.

Companies, restaurants, writers, artists, even governments do this all the time.

In fact, copying others and improving on what they are doing is the cornerstone of human advancement.

Ever since the first caveman saw another caveman throw a rock, and thought to himself, “Hmm, great idea, but I think I could do it better…” humans were off to the races.

Of course, some things are easier to copy or “reverse engineer” than others. Some of them are more conscious and some are unconscious.

When you were a kid, before you could walk, learning was simply of watching the adults and trying until you could reproduce what they were doing. Talking was the same. And to an extent, so was writing.

However, if you were an engineer for an electronics company, and they wanted you to reverse engineer your competition’s smart phone, it would be completely conscious.

We can also reverse engineer behavior, but it can be tricky. Often times we copy the external behavior, when it’s the internal state we should be focused on.

For example, if you wanted to copy a world class pianist, it would be foolish to only focus on the clothes they wore, or their posture or even facial expressions as they sat down at the piano.

You’d need to get inside their brain and copy their beliefs, and more importantly, their experiences and memories of practice, which likely is a large factor in their confidence.

Because playing the piano is not a natural human trait, it requires years and years of practice.

But other things, that sometimes seem difficult, ARE natural human traits, and therefore DON’T require years and years of practice.

Anything involving human interaction, communication and persuasion is hard wired into our brains.

Often times all you need is a strong inner state, and you can learn the rest by trial and error, just like you did when you learned to walk.

Because of your strong confidence and self belief, you’ll naturally interact with others in a way that will help you get exactly what you not.

Not only that, but it will seem to others like it was THEIR idea to give it to you.

This is what happens when you demonstrate that strong inner frame. That frame where you tell yourself (just like when you were a kid), “I can do this,” no matter what.

How do you get this frame?

By doing a set of mental activities (much like mental exercise) and switching how you view yourself, and the world.

To learn how, click this:

Frame Control

The Exchange Model Of Seduction

Exchange Emotions Instead of Beg For Them

Get Your Mind Right!

There’s one problem that’s pretty common (among guys) when getting out and interacting with females. An overestimation of HER worth, and an underestimation of YOUR worth.

The thing to understand about ALL human interactions they are based on exchange.

Sure, when we’re kids and in a family, we just get what we need without really having to give anything back.

But once we grow up and put on our big boy pants, that crap needs to get tossed out the window.

Nobody’s going to give you anything just because you think you deserve it.

Especially girls, girls who have options (which is the kind of girls you SHOULD be going after, but that’s another argument completely.)

In order for any girl worth her salt to spend any time with you, she’s got to be getting something out of the deal.

She needs to benefit just much as you are benefiting.

Granted, this all happens on a subconscious level, but it’s still there.

If you don’t create those emotions and feelings in her that she wants from you, she’s not going to give you those emotions and feelings you want from her.

Luckily, this is pretty automatic. Both men and women are hard wired to reciprocate when we get out buttons pushed in the right way.

The only trouble comes when you assume she’s got more to offer you than you’ve got to offer her.

To make it worse,  if you walk to her with an emotional “trade deficit” AND an expectation that she SHOULD feel a certain way, it’s going to make it even harder.

Both of these problems go hand in hand. Which means once you get rid of one, you’ll usually get rid of the other.

How do you do this?

First, understand how attraction works. We usually need to feel attraction first, before we are willing to create attraction in others, even subconsciously.

No girl is going to be sweet and feminine and affectionate with you unless she ALREADY feels those feelings for you.

The next step is to stop overestimating her value, AND to stop underestimating your own value.

Don’t walk over there with a puffed up chest thinking your king Alpha of the Planet, but DO have an honest appreciation for your strong points.

Then just go over and talk to her.

See it as a discovery process. Show her what you’ve got, and see what she’s got.

If you’re both feeling it, good job. If not, it’s NOBODY’S fault. Nobody’s cheating anybody. Nobody is manipulating anybody. Nobody’s dissing anybody.

Think of it like setting up a booth at your local flea market. Do you get super pissed when people wander by without buying anything? Nope. You just hang until you see people that ARE interested in what you’ve got.

Luckily, for most guys, that only means finding ONE girl when it comes to romance.

So get out there and mingle until you find her.

This will help:

Frame Control

Do You Underestimate Your Instincts?

The Ancient Power Within

Ancient Powers Lie Within

Most of us overestimate the power of our conscious minds.

Not only that, but we underestimate the power of our instincts.

This isn’t easy for a lot people to hear, but it can be very useful to understand.

For example, if you’ve ever “cheated” on a diet, you know EXACTLY how powerful your instincts are.

After all they have been part of us for millions of years, and they deal with real world survival on a very real level.

When our instincts are telling us to eat, “they” really believe we are in danger if we don’t.

Which is why dieting by willpower alone is virtually impossible.

Fear of heights is another example. This is a natural born fear that exists deep in our programming. Try leaning over the edge of a high balcony and using your conscious mind to remove the fear.

These are a couple of instincts (fear and food) that we know and feel. Others are much more hidden beneath the surface.

Think about the last time you “cheated” on a diet, or promised yourself you weren’t going to eat or drink something, but you did anyway. Just before you ate it, you likely told yourself some “story” that sounded “logical” at the time.

But since you saw clear evidence of what you were doing, it’s easy to see this was just a rationalization.

But when we rationalize other instincts that we don’t acknowledge, we really tend to believe the rationalization as if it’s the real reason driving our behavior, and not the underlying instinct.

Which can get us into a lot of trouble. We end up saying, “Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.”

What this really means is our instincts were driving our behavior, and our rationalizations for that behavior seemed logical enough.

Because we are deeply social creatures, two of the most powerful instincts that tend to operate outside of our conscious awareness are social proof and authority.

People that are in positions of authority can say the craziest things, and people will believe them as if they’re self-evident logic.

The strange thing about authority is that it’s not something that can be given to you. It has to be something that you simply assume to be true.

And since 99.99% of the people would be TERRIFIED of taking any kind of leadership role, assuming that position is pretty easy.

Naturally, this is like any other tool. You can use it for good, or you can use it for evil.

You can lead people to happiness, pleasure and wealth, or doom and despair. It’s completely up to you.

Where will you lead them?

Learn more:

Frame Control

How To Turn Her On

Talk Your Way Into Her Heart

How To Talk Girls Into Attraction

Many decades ago, Dale Carnegie taught the easiest way to talk to people is to talk about the thing that we all love talking about.

Ourselves.

So if you’re wanting to walk up and talk to pretty girls, in a way that will get them REALLY interested in you, this is a very useful bit of information.

Of course, HOW you do this will impact how well it works.

If you walk up to some gorgeous girl and say, “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”

You won’t get very far. One because she either hears this all the time, or she KNOWS this since everywhere she goes guys are staring at her with those unmistakable eyes of lust.

So you’re not really telling her anything new, and you’re not really showing any insight to who she is.

Believe it or not, super gorgeous girls would really like guys to like them for something OTHER than their looks.

How do we know this?

Because they talk. If gorgeous girls WERE just content to show up and be beautiful, they would never say anything. They’d just sit there and be happy to have guys stare at their boobs (or whatever).

But since they actually open their mouths, and actual words come out that describe the actual ideas in their heads, they would actually like somebody to take an interest in something BESIDES their boobs.

Hang on, we’re just getting started.

You can’t ask her opinion on something, and then tell her how awesome she is for having that opinion.

That’s too easy. She doesn’t want to be surrounded by spineless yes men.

You’ve got to do a little bit more work.

So, what do you talk about? Talk about her plans, her dreams, her ideas about complicated things (things YOU think are complicated, not things you think she thinks are complicated).

Get her to expand on that. See past her boobs and her surface structure language.

Find things deep beneath the surface that is really worth talking about.

Think of the conversation as a treasure hunt. Look for complicated ideas, opinions, plans and dreams way beneath the surface that you can find some overlap with your own deep structure.

That’s that DEEP connection that everybody is looking for.

But here’s the bad news. Most people don’t have much below the surface. Most people (guys and girls) are really filled with useless fluff.

This means you’ll need to talk to a lot of goofs before you find somebody worth your time.

But this realization in and of itself will have a pretty cool side effect.

When you look out into a sea of beautiful girls, you’ll realize that most of them really WON’T be worth your time. You’ll see it as a sorting process, rather than a horribly scary field of unending rejection land mines.

Which will make it much easier to talk to, qualify and more importantly, DISQUALIFY gorgeous girls.

Since this is something most guys know NOTHING about, you will have a HUGE advantage, and will be much, much more attractive.

This will help:

Frame Control

Silly Card Games Of Life

Increase Your Odds

How Project Massive Power

There’s this goofy “poker” game that you might know about.

Everybody takes one card, and holds it to their head, away from them.

Nobody knows what card they have, but they can tell which card everybody else has.

Other than that, it plays out like regular poker. You bet, raise, etc, and whoever has the highest card collects the money.

But unlike normal poker, where you see your own cards, and have to rely only on body language to gauge the strength of the other players’ cards, you have to guess what your own card is by the body language and facial expressions of the others.

For example, if they look at your card, and burst out laughing, it’s probably a good idea to fold, because you probably have a low card.

On the other hand, if they all look at your card and then fold, it means you’ve got a pretty high card.

This is the EXACT process humans go through when put together in a group setting when the people DON’T know each other.

They quickly look around, and see how “strong” the other people are.

And just like that poker game, we aren’t usually very good judges of our own strength, but we’re VERY good at sniffing out the strengths of others.

Most of us UNDERESTIMATE our own strengths. Which is why we can be surprised when people come to us for guidance or ask us for our opinions.

Unless you’ve wanted to be a world class politician since you were a kid, you probably don’t go into situations looking to take charge.

The problem is, neither do most other people.

That card game mentioned above gets pretty interesting when everybody has a medium strength card. Nobody knows whose is higher, and nobody knows whose is lower. People spend a lot of time looking at the other cards, and try to find their place among them.

This is the same in groups. Most people sit around, waiting for somebody else to take charge.

Why do that?

Why not take charge? Why not step up and help everybody out?

After all, you’re not stepping on anybody’s toes. You’re not taking something from them. You are actually doing what they WANT you to do.

Most people are terrified to lead. Most people are happy to be followers.

Nothing wrong with that. Leading can create stress, anxiety, and you’ve got to make tough decisions that might not always work out.

But the benefits are extraordinary. Genuine respect, admiration, and support.

Luckily, being a leader in any group starts with a simple decision.

Are you ready?

Learn more:

Frame Control

Improve Your Life Game

Improve Your Life, Not Your Game

Improve Yourself, Not Your Game

One of the easiest traps to fall into is thinking that women are the enemy.

Even when guys talk about picking up girls, they act as if they need some kind of ultra ninja secret weapon techniques to keep her off balance, or use all kinds of social proof, and get her thinking in a certain way.

Think about it from a sales standpoint.

Think about a product you really like. One you buy over and over again. Or maybe a brand. For me, whenever I buy sneakers, either for jogging or walking, I always get New Balance. I bought my first pair in high school when I ran a marathon, and they served me well. They’ve been my go-to brand ever since.

So, what’s your brand or product? Got it?

Now, think of the amount of thought that goes into it. You go into a store, ask the clerk where it is, and you get it.

Now, think of something you bought because of a whole bunch of hype. Something that maybe had some really slick advertisement on TV. Maybe a smooth talking salesperson helped you “decide.”

Then you when you started to actually USE the product, you found it wasn’t all that. So when you needed to buy something similar again, you gave that particular product a pass.

When girls think about the guys, and the kind of guys they want in their lives, they think the same way.

Sure, they can be conned (sometimes pretty easily) buy smooth talking “salesman” who knows all the angles, but when they get it home and see what it’s really made of, they start to have second thoughts.

Now, if you’re a guy, seeing this from a guy’s perspective, you may not see it this way.

You may think she was super sweet and into you at the bar, but then she “turned” on you. You may say things like “women aren’t loyal,” or “woman always play you,” or “women always use you,” or something similar.

This is ALWAYS going to happen if you come on strong early on with “game” and then later show her your “true self.”

Now, I know that when guys hear, “be yourself” they think it’s the lamest idea in the world, but it does keep you honest.

If you don’t like the way you are, measured by the quality of the women you attract, putting on a fake “game face” is only going to be a short term solution.

Why not simply improve the “real you”?

Why not continuously learn new social skills and language skills that you use with everybody, all the time?

Why not develop your self-confidence and create a REAL purpose for your life that is independent from women?

I know, this is a lot of work. But so is putting on a fake “game face” and getting rejected later.

Why not put in the work on the “real you” so the relationships with quality women just happen naturally, and pretty much take care of themselves?

This will help:

Frame Control

How Do You See The World?

Stop Playing The Victim Card

Stop Playing The Victim Card

It’s easy to feel like a victim.

In fact, it’s so easy that everybody does it.

Only when we do it ourselves, we don’t feel like we’re playing the victim card.

It’s one of those things that’s really easy to spot in others, but very hard to see in ourselves.

Kind of like being in a dysfunctional relationship vs. having a friend in a dysfunctional relationship.

From the outside in, it’s pretty obvious to see that it’s not going to end well.

But from the inside out, it feels like we just need to fix that one “thing” and everything will be swell.

Here’s a quick self-check to see if you’re playing the victim card:

Think of something you want, right now, but have some trouble getting.

Got it?

Now, why don’t you have it?

If you come up with ANY reason OTHER than your own behaviors, you’re playing the victim card.

Harsh, I know. Especially when it REALLY IS something “out there” that’s holding you back.

But even when that’s true, pointing the finger will NEVER do you any good.

None of the superstars of history, the great artists, inventors, creators, builders ever got where they did by pointing their fingers long enough and hard enough.

They all accepted where they were, what they had, and did something with it.

Clearly, some people have a head start. Some a HUGE one. Great genes, a great bank account, a nice house from which to operate and learn about the world as they grow up.

But so what? 

Plenty of people started with absolutely NOTHING. No money, no family, not even native English skills, and they built fortunes. Empires. Huge, multi-generational businesses.

Well, that’s not really true. They DID have something.

Vision. Belief. Resilience.

That’s all you really need.

When you look out into the world, what do you see? A harsh environment that will slap you down and prove your limitations?

Or a huge collection of untapped opportunities upon which to operate?

It all starts on the inside. 

When you play the victim card, you might get some help, but that’s only to get you to be quiet and go away.

But when you play the HERO card, when you establish your true place on this Earth, the opposite will happen.

People will WANT to help you. To follow you. To just be around you.

Are you ready?

Learn how:

Frame Control

How To Practice Seduction

They Ain't Gonna Play Themselves!

Daily Practice Is Crucial For Any Skill

If you practiced picking up girls like some guys practice playing the piano, you’d be a virtuoso in no time.

What do I mean?

Think about the piano. First you learn the C chord. Then you learn a few arpeggios. Then you practice them (which is REALLY boring) until you can play any combination without much conscious thought.

Say this takes a couple weeks, 30 minutes a day. Then you move on to the G chord, then the F chord, then A, etc.

Each time, getting a little bit more efficient. In say, six months time, you can look at a piece of music, know immediately what chord it’s in, and play it through the first time.

Thirty minutes a day of boring practice, and six months or so later, you can play some pretty decent music. Even make some. Combine your new music skills with some software instruments, and there’s really nothing you can’t do.

Now, compare this to picking up girls. Most guys NEVER practice. Sure, they go out a lot and talk to girls, get their numbers, go on dates, create relationships, but it’s NEVER practice. It’s ALWAYS real.

Imagine if you ONLY practiced the piano while giving a recital in front of a bunch of people you’d never met.

You’d ALWAYS be nervous, and you’d NEVER get better.

Any time you even THOUGHT of playing the piano, you’d break out into a cold sweat. You may even spend thousands of dollars on seminars to learn the “one secret trick” that allows you to play the piano without EVER needing to practice.

So, how do you PRACTICE picking up girls?  The SAME way you practice the piano.

Spend the first week ONLY practicing eye contact. Nothing else.

Then move on to saying “hi.” 

Make sure you understand which categories girls are in. (In your mind). Practice or real.

This will shoot your game to the upper echelons of natural player mode faster than anything else.

Except maybe the skills you’ll learn here:

Frame Control