Category Archives: How To Talk To Girls

How To Turn Her On

Talk Your Way Into Her Heart

How To Talk Girls Into Attraction

Many decades ago, Dale Carnegie taught the easiest way to talk to people is to talk about the thing that we all love talking about.

Ourselves.

So if you’re wanting to walk up and talk to pretty girls, in a way that will get them REALLY interested in you, this is a very useful bit of information.

Of course, HOW you do this will impact how well it works.

If you walk up to some gorgeous girl and say, “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”

You won’t get very far. One because she either hears this all the time, or she KNOWS this since everywhere she goes guys are staring at her with those unmistakable eyes of lust.

So you’re not really telling her anything new, and you’re not really showing any insight to who she is.

Believe it or not, super gorgeous girls would really like guys to like them for something OTHER than their looks.

How do we know this?

Because they talk. If gorgeous girls WERE just content to show up and be beautiful, they would never say anything. They’d just sit there and be happy to have guys stare at their boobs (or whatever).

But since they actually open their mouths, and actual words come out that describe the actual ideas in their heads, they would actually like somebody to take an interest in something BESIDES their boobs.

Hang on, we’re just getting started.

You can’t ask her opinion on something, and then tell her how awesome she is for having that opinion.

That’s too easy. She doesn’t want to be surrounded by spineless yes men.

You’ve got to do a little bit more work.

So, what do you talk about? Talk about her plans, her dreams, her ideas about complicated things (things YOU think are complicated, not things you think she thinks are complicated).

Get her to expand on that. See past her boobs and her surface structure language.

Find things deep beneath the surface that is really worth talking about.

Think of the conversation as a treasure hunt. Look for complicated ideas, opinions, plans and dreams way beneath the surface that you can find some overlap with your own deep structure.

That’s that DEEP connection that everybody is looking for.

But here’s the bad news. Most people don’t have much below the surface. Most people (guys and girls) are really filled with useless fluff.

This means you’ll need to talk to a lot of goofs before you find somebody worth your time.

But this realization in and of itself will have a pretty cool side effect.

When you look out into a sea of beautiful girls, you’ll realize that most of them really WON’T be worth your time. You’ll see it as a sorting process, rather than a horribly scary field of unending rejection land mines.

Which will make it much easier to talk to, qualify and more importantly, DISQUALIFY gorgeous girls.

Since this is something most guys know NOTHING about, you will have a HUGE advantage, and will be much, much more attractive.

This will help:

Frame Control

Improve Your Life Game

Improve Your Life, Not Your Game

Improve Yourself, Not Your Game

One of the easiest traps to fall into is thinking that women are the enemy.

Even when guys talk about picking up girls, they act as if they need some kind of ultra ninja secret weapon techniques to keep her off balance, or use all kinds of social proof, and get her thinking in a certain way.

Think about it from a sales standpoint.

Think about a product you really like. One you buy over and over again. Or maybe a brand. For me, whenever I buy sneakers, either for jogging or walking, I always get New Balance. I bought my first pair in high school when I ran a marathon, and they served me well. They’ve been my go-to brand ever since.

So, what’s your brand or product? Got it?

Now, think of the amount of thought that goes into it. You go into a store, ask the clerk where it is, and you get it.

Now, think of something you bought because of a whole bunch of hype. Something that maybe had some really slick advertisement on TV. Maybe a smooth talking salesperson helped you “decide.”

Then you when you started to actually USE the product, you found it wasn’t all that. So when you needed to buy something similar again, you gave that particular product a pass.

When girls think about the guys, and the kind of guys they want in their lives, they think the same way.

Sure, they can be conned (sometimes pretty easily) buy smooth talking “salesman” who knows all the angles, but when they get it home and see what it’s really made of, they start to have second thoughts.

Now, if you’re a guy, seeing this from a guy’s perspective, you may not see it this way.

You may think she was super sweet and into you at the bar, but then she “turned” on you. You may say things like “women aren’t loyal,” or “woman always play you,” or “women always use you,” or something similar.

This is ALWAYS going to happen if you come on strong early on with “game” and then later show her your “true self.”

Now, I know that when guys hear, “be yourself” they think it’s the lamest idea in the world, but it does keep you honest.

If you don’t like the way you are, measured by the quality of the women you attract, putting on a fake “game face” is only going to be a short term solution.

Why not simply improve the “real you”?

Why not continuously learn new social skills and language skills that you use with everybody, all the time?

Why not develop your self-confidence and create a REAL purpose for your life that is independent from women?

I know, this is a lot of work. But so is putting on a fake “game face” and getting rejected later.

Why not put in the work on the “real you” so the relationships with quality women just happen naturally, and pretty much take care of themselves?

This will help:

Frame Control

Mind Tricks To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Give Her An Opportunity, Don't Ask For Her To Accept You

Ancient Secrets For Modern Seduction

In ancient societies, there were two ways to go to war with neighboring tribes.

One was the old fashioned way, where you show up with a bunch of guys and clubs and start swinging.

Even if you “win” this is pretty dangerous. You can lose a lot of good guys this way. That’s why  most ancient tribes, and even certain primates, rarely have a full on battle. 

They usually have “raiding parties” where they swoop in while everybody is sleeping, bash a few guys, take a bunch of stuff, and then leave before anybody knows what’s up.

In other ancient societies, they have a much more advanced form of warfare. One tribe will show up to another tribe with a bunch of gifts.

It’s kind of rude to not accept a bunch of gifts, since it usually leads to old school fighting. So the receiving tribe is pretty much forced to accept the gifts.

Which puts them on a lower standing from a social status position. When you show up and DEMAND gifts, that’s one thing. But when you show up unexpected and GIVE gifts, it’s much more powerful.

We humans do this all the time. We do an unasked for “favor,” and then act like they are in our debt. You do this, and this is done to you.

But there’s a pretty sneaky way you can use this to destroy any approach anxiety.

How?

Just see yourself as giving her the opportunity to get to know you. Now, this ONLY works on getting rid of that initial approach anxiety. It’s not a sure fire pick up method, and you STILL have to talk to her in a way that fires up her emotions.

But if you are too nervous to approach her, then none of that will matter anyway.

Most guys, when they approach, act like they are asking for something. Meaning a guy walks up to a girl, and they think they can get “rejected.”

Even thinking that “rejection” is even possible presumes that she’s got more power than you. She has the power to accept you, and she has the power to reject you.

But this feeling will lessen considerably when you imagine you’re giving her an opportunity.

Which you are. Again, you are NOT imagining that you’re God’s gift to women, or expecting anything from her.

But if you just see it from an objective standpoint, a guy talking to a girl, with BOTH of them thinking that maybe it will turn into something more, it will be a lot easier.

Think about it from her perspective. Unless you are going to walk over with your ding-dong in your hand, or if you smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster, she’s not going to be put off if you’re just a normal guy.

Even if nothing happens, she’s going to be GLAD that you approached her. She’s going to feel GOOD for having been approached.

So ditch the “accept-reject” continuum. Think if it as giving her the gift of opportunity.

To make it even easier, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Overcome Her Tests And Increase Attraction

Secrets Of Being A Verbal Ninja

Verbal Ninja Skills Are Crucial

One of the most powerful skills you can have is verbal flexibility.

Any goof can memorize a bunch of pick up lines and patterns. But a true natural will take ANYTHING she gives him, and can flip it around to mean pretty much anything else.

Imagine a fighter who only knows one punch, or a football team who only knows how to run up the middle.

They run into any opponent that can defeat that one move, and they’re done.

On the other hand, any team that can easily adjust their offense based on the defense of their opponent will win every game they plan.

Of course, this is a HORRIBLE metaphor for meeting girls. 

Why?

In sports, both teams can’t win. One team can ONLY win if the make the other team lose.

This absolutely the wrong attitude to have when meeting girls.

Unless you’re the type of guy who sneaks up behind girls and starts talking to them completely unexpectedly, she WANTS you to succeed.

If she’s NOT giving you obvious signs she wants you to go away, she WANTS you to keep going. She WANTS you to seduce her. She WANTS you to bang her silly.

Now, not the way you think. She doesn’t really know you yet. But she HOPES that you are the guy she’s been looking for, who will know how to spin all her propellers.

But in order to figure out if you’re THAT guy or not, she needs to TEST you.

Most guys are terrified of this.

You should absolutely WELCOME tests.

Why?

There are two ways for a girl to get to know a guy enough to know she wants to slip in between the sheets.

One is to go on a several dates, see him operate in various situations, see how he interacts with all levels of society, see how he handles himself under pressure.

This is pretty much the whole reason for the dating process. Most guys know right off the bat if they like a girl, since our criteria are pretty much based on her physical appearance.

But girls based their attraction on behavior. 

Now, this is all unconscious. It’s not like they have a spreadsheet with a bunch of qualities they tick off every time they finish a date.

But they need to interact with a guy for a while before they KNOW they are attracted.

UNLESS, of course, they throw out some tests.

Most guys assume that tests mean she’s mean, or wants to hurt you, or is trying to chase you away.

But in reality, when she tests you, her cave girl brain is trying to ACCELERATE the attraction process.

She wants you to pass, so she can be attracted to you.

How do you pass? 

Have the verbal flexibility and sense of humor to see they are no big deal.

Like sparring with a five year old. They are trying to hit you in the nuts. But you just playfully knock their punches away, and have fun while doing it.

See tests the same way. With a solid sense of self, some strong frame control and verbal flexibility, her tests will be a welcome acceleration to your bedroom.

Learn More:

Frame Control

How To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Destroy Approach Anxiety

Kick Fear To The Curb

I like you but I don’t need you.

This is the perfect attitude to have when talking to girls. Of course, you should never say this. Feeling needed is a very deep  and very ancient human desire. Telling somebody straight out that you don’t need them is a horrible and painful slap in the emotional face.

But, on the other hand, coming on too strong with need is really, really creepy. Any guy that expresses too much need is going to destroy any attraction that may exist.

So, in the beginning, especially when you’re first talking to her, your actions should speak much louder than your words.

And your actions should proclaim that you like her. You like looking at her. You like listening to her talk. You like her smell, her energy, her movements.

But you’re perfectly fine without her.

And on top of that, you need to also project the “energy” that the whole purpose of that entire conversation is for you to find out more about her, and for her to find out more about you.

Not to trick her into sleeping with you, or con her by projecting an image of yourself that you’re really not.

Notice all this has to do with inner game, not any kind of outer language technology.

There’s absolutely no set of “language patterns” that will project these ideas or beliefs.

Only your inner state can do that.

Inside Out, Not Outside In

How Do You Develop That Inner State?

First, see your life as the most important part of your life. Sounds silly but many people tend put things outside of themselves as very important to their lives.

Secondly, have some standards beyond physical beauty. Actually write out a list of things that your ideal girlfriend or lover has to have, besides her looks and sexy body. Personality traits. Beliefs. Ideas about her future. Levels of her self confidence.

Having a set of objective standard will make it much easier to approach.

Why?

If all you need are good looks, then you’ve accepted her before you even talk to her. Which means the whole conversation is about you hoping she accepts you. This is nerve racking, to say the least.

But when the conversation is only a means of discovering who she is, it will be a lot more fun.

So take some time. Figure out what you want in life, outside of women and relationships.

Then take some time, figuring out what you want in a woman, and in a relation.

Then have fun making it happen.

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control

The Paradox Of Becoming A Natural Seducer

How To Turn On Your Magic Love Juice

How To Boost Your Game

Most guys would love to become a natural. The guy who can just walk up to any girl, any time and just say whatever’s on his mind. Then just sit back and watch the girl transform from passive observer to drooling desirer of love.

How do you become that guy?

The answer’s pretty simple, but HOW to do it is kind of a paradox.

The answer, of course, is to practice. Picking up gorgeous girls is a skill, just like any other. To get better at ANYTHING, all you’ve got to do is practice.

HOW to practice is something that most guys never consider. Most guys see a girl, go up and get blown out, and then later convince themselves it was “practice.”

Or maybe they start to practice, but end up talking to some super cutie that feels like a life or death conversation.

Sure, if the game’s on the line and you’re making a do or die free-throw, you’ll feel like crap if you miss.

But if you’re just practicing free throws, missing won’t hurt for squat.

That’s the paradox of practicing game. In most guys’ minds, there’s no difference between practice game and real game.

Imagine this:

You’re practicing free throws, just messing around with your boys. You make one. Then another, then another. You’re about to take your fourth shot, when suddenly and magically your transformed to the championship  playoff game. You check the scoreboard, you’re down by one point, and there’s one second left.

Now how do you feel?

This is what happens if you blur the line between “real game” and “practice game.”

Practice Makes Perfect

How Can You Practice Game?

Choose an outcome. One that’s consistent with your level. Eye contact, smiles, whatever. Then go out and ONLY practice that aspect. 

NOTHING ELSE.

For example, if you’re having trouble flirting, simply practice smiling at girls while holding eye contact.

Tell yourself you’ll go out and do that fifty times. Only smile while holding eye contact.

Nothing else.

As soon as you lock eyes and smile, eject, and move on to the next practice target.

This goes with all other levels. Opening. Number closing, kiss closing. Everything.

You’ll find this is the HARDEST thing you’ll ever do.

Why?

Because once you lock eyes and smile, she may smile back. And EVERYTHING in your brain will want you to keep going. Keep smiling, go and talk to her, etc.

Don’t do this. This is practice.

If you can resist your natural tendency to keep charging forward until you get rejected, your game will quickly shoot to natural levels of easy seduction.

The ONLY thing you need to remember is whether or not is real game, or practice game.

Define that BEFORE you leave your house, and you’ll be good.

This will also help:

Frame Control

Fractionation Seduction Secrets

How To Go Faster Deeper Than Ever Before

Accelerate Your Progress

Much has been spoken about the idea of “fractionation.” This is a technique from traditional hypnosis, but once you understand it,  you’ll see it in a lot of places.

It’s a vague “concept” rather than a step by step procedure. Which means that once you get what it means, you’ll be able to apply it to a lot of different areas.

So, what is it?

It all started when a hypnotist noticed that every time an old client would come to visit, he would go into trance a lot easier. The first time they were always nervous, and reluctant to release conscious control.

But with each successive visit, it got easier and easier to put them under.

So the next natural step was to try this within one single session. Meaning the hypnotist would put them under, bring them back up, then put them under again, then back up, etc., etc.

Each time they’d go deeper.

It’s called “fractionation” simply because he’s taking one single trance, and breaking it up into smaller pieces.

This happens all the time.

When you read a book from your favorite author, each time you start a new novel, it’s easier to “lose yourself” in the story. Same goes for other artists. Every new thing they “produce,” it’s easier to slip into that special “enjoying-art” trance we all love so much when we watch TV, movies, read books, listen to music, etc.

It’s also why, traditionally, it usually takes a few “dates” to get to first, second or third base.

Same with sales. Selling a customer cold is pretty hard. But when you see the same customer a week later, fractionation kicks in and it’s MUCH easier to close them.

Get Her Dreaming About You

Fractionation – Perfect For Seduction

So, how does this work in seduction?

Many ways!

The first is when you vary your language. First you use hypnotic language, then you use regular language. Keep going back and forth, and pretty soon she’ll be so deep she won’t get her mind off you.

However, this can require a lot of knowledge of covert hypnosis, which takes a lot of practice. So you can simply think of talking about things like “her future” and then regular stuff.

Any time you get a girl talking about her ideal future, while she’s looking at you, this is going to have a really good result.

But it can be hard for her to talk about her future if she’s just met you.

So talk about something easy in her future. Then talk about normal stuff. Then talk about something else in her future (NOT the same thing.) Then normal stuff. Every time she goes back to talking about her future, it will get easier and easier.

This also works with building rapport. Consciously build rapport, then pull back. Go back and forth, and every time you build rapport, by mirroring body language and speech rates, she’ll go much deeper.

You can also do this by getting her to follow you. (This is another trick savvy salespeople have known for years.)

First, get her to move a couple feet. Then get her to move to a different area in the building. Then take her outside (or inside). Then take her to a nearby location (waffle house, coffee shop, whatever).

Each time, she’ll go deeper into the idea of “following you.” And I’m sure you can figure out what comes next!

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Easy Ways To Keep Talking To A Girl

How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl

Keep The Conversation Flowing Like Water

Most guys can walk up to a girl, say “hi,” and maybe get  her smiling.

Then what?

Knowing how to keep a conversation flowing, and her feeling relaxed and not under any pressure, is essential to being able to effectively increase her interest.

So, how do you do that?

You could come up with a bunch of stuff to say beforehand, as some people recommend, but then you’d be like a roving stand up comedian. If she doesn’t like your “act” then you don’t have much to fall back on.

A much better strategy would be to combine a couple of ideas from covert hypnosis.

One is called “Utilization.” This is when you simply take whatever she gives you, and use it. This way, you won’t freak out if she doesn’t respond the way you think she “should.”

The other thing to use is to elicit her own “trance states.”

Now, this doesn’t mean pull out your watch and start swinging like some goof up on stage.

What it does mean is eliciting, or get her talking about things she’s really interested in.

Now, most girls are going to freeze up if you walk up and start asking her all kinds of personal questions.

If You Lead, She Will Follow

Always Go First

Which is why you’ve got to go first. Meaning you mention some stuff you’re interested in, then ask her opinion.

Don’t argue or bust on her if hers are different. That comes later.

At this stage of the conversation, you’re just interested in getting her talking about things that make her feel good.

Since they are  her ideas, and not your stories or techniques, there won’t be any resistance.

Then just keep “digging for gold” and get her more and more juiced about her own ideas.

The ideal outcome for this conversational tactic is to get her talking about her “ideal future” with regards to hobbies, jobs, school, or whatever she’s comfortable talking about.

Granted, this takes time, and practice. But once you get to this level, you won’t need any kind of memorized game or patterns or even any bling.

Because she’ll be talking about her ideal future, all while looking at you.

Which will get her to subconsciously associate the two, together, (you and her dreams) in her mind.

And when you can do that, you’re doing pretty good.

This can help:

Frame Control

Do You Feel Anger When Thinking of Gorgeous Girls?

Don't Be A Butt Hurt Little Boy

Release Your Anger

Many guys get really angry with women pretty easily.

They think they “deserve” something, and when they don’t get it, they throw a hissy fit.

They imagine that since they’ve done some kind of “personal improvement” work they somehow “deserve” to get the good stuff.

This is a common misconception both in seduction, AND in economics.

I remember once, a long time ago, I went down to my local barber to get my usual summer buzz cut. Only he had shut down. So I had to go find another place. I came across this “Salon” and asked how much.

She told me an incredibly huge price, and I asked her why hers was so expensive, when my usual guy only charged $5.

She told me she’d studied hair cutting in Europe (like they have different hair there or something) and she’d been to all the exclusive hair cutting schools.

I didn’t say this, but I was thinking that I really didn’t care where she’d studied, I only wanted a buzz cut, and I was only willing to pay $5. Maybe $6, but that was about it.

Many people believe they “deserve” something simply because they put in some “work.”

Nobody Gets A Free Ride

Nobody Gets A Free Ride

Guys think that because they go to the gym, wear the right clothes and cologne, they SHOULD get laid. Like society has some kind of obligation to keep Mr. Happy happy.

Well, I hate to break the news to you, but nobody owes you squat.

The ONLY time you will EVER get ANYTHING from ANYBODY is when they want to give it to you, for their own reasons.

And this usually involves THEM getting something from YOU that they VALUE.

You only GET what you are willing to GIVE.

Not what you THINK you deserve.

This is a tough pill to swallow. Not only for guys, but for anybody who has spent any amount of time doing anything (like studying, building, investing, creating) only to find out that what they’ve got STILL isn’t valued very much by others.

But here’s the GOOD NEWS.

There’s a much EASIER way to give her what she wants, so you can get what you want.

Instead of spending all kinds of time, money and effort in the gym, or the department store, or the bling store, just walk up, and talk to her.

Find out what she likes. Find out what spins her propellers.

Talk to her in a way that will get her feeling those emotions. Listen to what she says, and frame your message in a way that she’ll enjoy hearing.

Ditch the entitlement mentality, and go straigh to the source.

Learn How

Frame Control

Embrace The Spotlight Of Seduction

She's Waiting For You

Why She Wants You To Approach Her

One of the most common fears when speaking to women you’re attracted to is how you’re “performing” in a social setting.

It’s common to feel as if all eyes are on you when walking up to a girl you’ve been flirting with from across the room.

Now, to be honest, a lot of guys ARE watching you, and some of them DO hope you fall on your face.

Why?

Because they are too terrified to approach themselves, so if they see you approach and succeed, it will make them feel worse. But if you approach and get blown out, it will actually make them feel better.

One thing humans are exceptionally good at is deceiving ourselves. Now, if you were brutally honest with yourself, the ONLY reason you don’t become an approach machine when you’re out where there’s plenty of single, attractive women is because of fear or anxiety.

This is something most guys will NEVER admit, even to themselves. We tell ourselves things like, “Well, I’m not in the mood,” or “she’s not my type,” or “I’m not in a place where I’m ready for a relationship,” or any self con job.

How do I know these are self deceptions?

Because if ANY of those women walked up to you, talked to you for five minutes, and then asked you to go home with her for wild, uninhibited sex, all of those “reasons” would vanish.

You wouldn’t tell her she’s not your type.

You wouldn’t tell her you’re not ready for a relationship.

You wouldn’t tell her you were just hanging out with the boys.

Make A Move!

Make A Move!

So when you walk over there and fall on your face, all those other guys who are too terrified to make a move will be able to feed their excuses.

“See, that’s why I NEVER approach girls, they LOVE shooting guys down!”

This, of course, is absolute nonsense.

I’m sure you’ve heard the crab theory. Where a bunch of crabs are in a bucket, and one crab starts to climb out, and all other crabs drag him back down.

It’s kind of like that.

What’s the answer?

Consider things from HER perspective. If you simply get up and walk over there, you’re sending her a strong signal.

That you aren’t scared like those other little boys. That you’re willing to take a risk, instead of waiting around for a girl to do all the work.

Just doing this will INCREASE your attraction.

A lot.

And when you carry yourself with a strong frame, one she’ll LOVE to melt into, you’ll be even better.

Learn More:

Frame Control