Category Archives: How To Talk To Girls

How To Find High Quality Women

Searching For High Quality Women?

Criteria Are Essential

It’s easy to feel angry and frustrated if you aren’t having much success with the ladies.

Even if you are “hooking up” from time to time, it can be frustrating if they turn out to be “low quality” women.

The thing about sex is it’s not nearly as meaningless as many people like to believe. Humans have been around for a long, long time, and we wouldn’t have been as successful, compared to other animals, if we didn’t have a lot of advantages.

One of those advantages is that humans are one of the few animals that form long term pair-bonds.

To make it even more powerful, humans are the ONLY animal that employ sexually specific labor.

Meaning that back in the caveman days, both men and women looked for food. But men looked for different food (meat or protein) than women (roots, nuts, berries, etc). 

Basically men hunted, while women gathered.

This became a HUGE advantage because humans could live in a LOT more environments than all other animals.

If the men OR the women came up empty, we were still OK for a while.

So it became even MORE IMPORTANT to our deep programming to look for relationships, rather than anonymous sex, like many other primates.

One way this plays out is guys think they are looking for a one-nighter, only to find they’re having feelings for the girl after a couple rolls in the hay.

Since women are MUCH BETTER at compartmentalizing this kind of thing, if they’re going into it with ONLY a one-night-stand mindset, they’re much more likely to hold that one-night-stand mindset.

The end result is a guy who thinks he’s looking for a one-nighter ends up having feelings, when she doesn’t.

This leads to many guys thinking that all women are sluts, or low quality, or feeling “cheated” or lied to.

Now, I’m not saying that sex within hours of meeting is wrong or immoral, but it CAN make it complicated to build a solid relationship, if that’s what you’re after.

Another reason for a lot of confusion is many guys don’t have much criteria. Meaning they aren’t sure what kind of girl they’re looking for, other than a girl that likes them.

Then when they have sex, they assume all THEIR criteria is fulfilled, but the girl might think otherwise.

She might ONLY see you as some “guy she hooked up with” rather than boyfriend material.

One way to avoid this is to have some solid criteria BESIDES her physical appearance.

Then take some time to sort for this FIRST, before sleeping with her.

I know this is against what most gurus preach, which is to bang her as soon as possible, but if you consider a long term strategy of building a healthy relationship, rather than a string of heartbreaks, it may be something to consider.

Build Your Inner Game:

mindpersuasion.com

Easy First Conversation Techniques With Women

Easy Peasy Cherry Squeezy

Easier Than You Think

What’s better, to chase women, or to get women to chase you?

In reality, you need a mix of the two. If you try to get women to do EVERYTHING, you’re going to be lonely.

Go to any club and you’ll plenty of guys hugging the walls waiting for the girls to make a move.

On the other hand, if you are always pushing forward no matter WHAT, she’s going to be put off.

The trick is to first assert yourself, then pull back a little, and make sure she follows.

This can be physical, or conversational, or even attention wise.

But make no mistake, get used to the idea that you’re going to have to make the first approach.

You’re going to have to get the conversation started. You’re going to have to assume the authority position and make it easy for her to talk to. You are going to have to take the initial risks.

Then you pull back, and see if she’s interested enough to follow you.

Nothing dramatic, just small “tests” to see if she’s interested.

Of course, the most basic test is to simply ask for her number.  If she gives it to right away with a smile on her face, you’re doing pretty good.

But as you know, many girls will give our their numbers without really being interested. They aren’t being mean or deceptive, it’s just VERY hard sometimes to say “no.”

So if you’re the type that makes it a point to collect tons of numbers, you realize it’s a “numbers” game.

But you CAN tell whether or not she’s into you or not BEFORE you ask for the number, if you know what to look for.

Does she carry her half of the conversation? Does she offer up “free information” or do you feel like you are pulling teeth?

If you touch her lightly on the forearm, does she pull her arm back in disgust, or does she seem to warm up to you slightly, or even reciprocate within a few moments? Are here eyes wandering around the place while you’re talking to her or is she looking at you most of the time?

These are all fantastic signs that you’re doing well with her. When this happens, don’t draw it out.  She’ll never say, “Let me give you my number so you can ask me out!”

It’s your job to approach, it’s your job to “read the air” and determine if she’s into you, AND it’s your job to get her number and get out before you blow it.

A lot to remember, to be sure.

But one thing that will make it easier if you think of EVERY SINGLE GIRL you talk to ask practice.

Only by her showing significant and continued interest in you does she move from the “practice” to “potential relationship” category in your mind.

Keep this attitude and you’ll go far!

The Myth Of The Quality Woman

Are You Chasing A Mythological Woman?

Myth Busting Relationships

What does it mean to find a “quality woman?”

Many guys are moaning all over the place that they don’t exist. Or at least not anymore. And many women feel the same thing about guys.

There’s a couple of things going on here.

One is that it’s very easy, and very simple for people to complain that it’s not like the “good old days.”

This doesn’t take any effort, and it requires no risk or potential failure. It’s just another manifesting of the age old argument that it’s the world’s fault that you can’t get what you want.

This is absolute hogwash. Even if it is true to a degree, this is a horrible mindset to take on. Once you start blaming the world, or your own “unique” situation, or whatever, for your lack, it’s pretty much all over.

Because if it’s somebody else’s fault you can’t get what you want, it’s also somebody else’s responsibility to give you what you want.

Sure, if you’re two years old and still happily crapping your pants, that might be a viable argument.

But as an adult, if you’re waiting for the magic pixie dust fairy to show up and grant your deepest wishes, you’ll be waiting a long, long time.

So idea number one is that if you can’t find what you’re looking for (ideal partner or not) you’re simply not looking hard enough.

Yea, it’s a tough world. Get over it. It’s always been a tough world, it will always be a tough world.

Next idea is the whole “quality woman” (or quality man) myth.

What does this mean? Some guys will say girls that are loyal, that will stand by you, that won’t cheat on you, etc.

But any girl that’s REALLY into you will show these qualities.

Unless she’s got some serious issues, a girl who’s head over heels in love with you is going to be loyal, she’s going to have your back, and she’s not going to cheat on you.

So if you’re meeting girls that don’t seem to fall into this category, guess what?

They simply aren’t feeling you.

Who’s fault is that?

Most likely, it’s nobody’s. No girl is obligated to fall for you. No girl is obligated to feel loyalty to you.

Your job, if you want a loyal girl, is to be the guy she wants to be loyal to.

Don’t sit around moaning about the state of the world.

Improve yourself. Enhance your career. Increase your social skills. Become comfortable being a laid back leader in social situations.

Choose a life for yourself that gets you out of bed every morning. 

Turn your life into a mission.

Do this, and you won’t have any problems with girls, or anything else.

How To Start A Conversation With A Girl

She'll Only Follow You If You Lead

Go First And See If She Follows

One of the most crucial things to understand about being a guy is that guys go first.

Now, this of course isn’t always true. If you’re at work, in the military, anywhere professionally, and your not top on the totem pole, you’re going to following orders and following in general. Sometimes men, sometimes women.

But in the world of romance, especially in the early days, you’ve got to go first. With pretty much everything.

Now, this is tough. It’s easy to go overboard. If you walk up to some stranger and tell her you love her, she’ll call the cops.

And if you’re on a first or second date and you open the emotional floodgates, she’ll run away screaming.

So on the one side, you’ve got to go first, just so show her it’s safe. Then you’ve got to wait and let her catch up.

The metaphor of walking down an uncertain trail in the woods is good. You lead, but not by very far. If it’s safe, you walk side by side. When it’s dangerous, you go first, but just enough so she doesn’t get scared. Don’t leave her behind. Always make sure she’s following close behind.

How does this translate into the dating world?

You approach her. You start talking to her. If you want to know something about her that may be uncomfortable, you reveal yours first.

Now, many “gurus” will disagree with this. They’ll say all girls are super defensive and will need to have their “shields” broken through with all kinds of slippery mind games and pick up gambits.

Sure, if you approach a super model who’s getting hit on by millionaire pro athletes all the time, you may indeed need to step up your game.

But if you’re a normal guy, looking to meet a normal girl, you don’t really need too many tricks.

If you see her across the room, and she sees you seeing her, she knows you like her. And if she looks at you a couple of times, (without that look of fear in her eyes) she WANTS you to go and talk to her.

She’s not going to walk to you.

When you walk over, introduce your name first. Say things that are easy for her to respond to. Save the “did you see those two girls fighting outside” opener for the club girls.

Reveal your interests, then ask about hers. If she seems to like talking to you, keep going.

Be honest with her. Tell you enjoyed talking to her, you’ve got to go, but you’d like to continue the conversation later. 

Exchange numbers by getting her to call her phone from your phone.

Then bounce.

Always keep the trail metaphor in mind. You go first, and then wait for her to follow. So long as she follows, you’re good. 

If she doesn’t? 

No big deal. There’s more where she came from.

How To Sort For Your Dream Girl

You're Number One!

Why Settle For Second Best?

It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees, when it comes to meeting girls and looking for Miss Right.

(Or Miss Right Now if that’s your thing.)

Long time ago I went skydiving. It was the kind that required only about five minutes of instruction before jumping out of the plane.

We had an experienced jumper strapped to our backs, which would kind of hold our hand. We got to pull the chute, but in case we blacked out or puked, he’d be there to make sure we didn’t die.

One thing the guy told me right before we jumped has stuck in my mind, as it’s very useful in many different areas.

“Don’t look at a point on the ground. You’ll fixate on it and miss everything.”

What he meant was that we were only free falling for about a minute. And if we looked way down below, and saw a house or a car or something, we’d tend to stare at it. If that happened, our ride would be over and we would have missed it.

I followed his advice and didn’t look down at all. Just out onto the horizon.

(One of the most amazing experiences of my life.)

When you’re talking to girls (or prospecting as they say in sales) it’s easy to “fixate” on one girl.

There’s a whole world of girls out there, but once you start talking to one, and she seems to like you a bit, it’s very easy to lose the big picture.

Then suddenly she’s turned from a “prospect” into the only game in town. Sink or swim. Win or lose. Live or die.

If this happens, it’s almost guaranteed you WON’T get her, unless she’s TOTALLY into you.

One thing that turns both girls AND guys off is desperation.

Texting too much, calling too much, hanging onto conversations too much.

If she’s got a medium level of attraction, this will kill it in a hurry.

Sure, there’s certain “rules,” like only text three times a week, or only call every other day, or whatever.

But if she’s your ONLY option, these rules are impossible to follow. You’ll drive yourself nuts.

The EASIEST way to make sure you don’t switch in to desperation mode is to ALWAYS BE PROSPECTING.

Meaning you should always be talking to girls, making them laugh, seeing if they’re personalities are as attractive as their faces.

And always dating them if you’re into each other enough.

AND always being open about it.

One criteria that you MUST have is that she should be into you AT LEAST as much as you are into her.

And when you’re going out with several girls, and one of them starts pressuring you for exclusivity, then it’s time to consider her.

But never before that.

This will make you more attractive, and give you much more choice, which will keep you out of the desperation mind set.

These Tools Will  Help:

mindpersuasion.com

Get Rid Of Approach Anxiety By Becoming The Sorter

They Pass Your Tests - Not The Other Way Around

See Beneath The Surface

Most guys are incredibly nervous when they approach girls. In fact, it can take years of practice to fully get over this.

And even guys who DO get over this, once they’re off the market for a while, their skills will go back to zero.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly tried the market, you may have felt WAY out of your league.

Why is this?

One of the reasons is all of the assumptions that guys make about girls. Since guys are hard wired to be attracted primarily to looks, we assume that if she’s cute, then every other part of her is good also.

Which means when we walk over there, we assume that SHE already passes our “tests” and it’s completely up to us to pass her tests.

This is enough to give ANYBODY the jitters, no matter WHAT it is your doing.

Luckily, the part about her looks being “good enough” is absolutely false.

And here’s a way to prove it to yourself, AND get over your approach anxiety faster than you ever could just by pushing through them.

This will take some time, but you’ll be gaining an EXTRAORDINARY amount of experience, AND decreasing your levels of anxiety significantly.

Here’s what you do.

First, come up with some deal breakers. Either pure red flags, (according to you, nobody else) or things you’d rather she didn’t have.

This must be personality traits, habits, beliefs, things that will take a little bit of conversation to get to.

Smoking, a certain religion or political affiliation, cat person (or dog person) anything that you don’t imagine your “Dream Girl” of having.

Then, simply talk to girls LONG ENOUGH to disqualify them. Don’t get ANY numbers.

After you go through ten or twenty girls, you’ll have a sudden burst of realization.

That there’s MUCH more to girls than just their looks.

And that will absolutely DESTROY any feelings of “she’s perfect and I must qualify myself to her.”

ALL without getting any rejection.

Now, it’s important to have a friendly attitude while doing this. Don’t get angry, don’t put them down (out loud or in your mind). Just talk to them long enough until you get a red flag.

Then simply disqualify them IN YOUR MIND, politely end the conversation, and walk away.

Once you leave the mindset of the desperate beggar, and enter the mindset of the sorter, it will get much, much easier.

This Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com

Mind Tricks For Massive Confidence With Girls

How To Shift From Anxiety To Confidence In No Time

Flip Your Mental Switch

Here’s a great trick that will quickly boost your confidence.

You go somewhere where there’s plenty of cute girls to flirt with.

Someplace where people are out walking around is best. When you see a cutie coming your way, make eye contact and smile at her like she’s a friend. Like you know her.

While you are doing this, purposely remember a fun time you actually had with a cute girl. Nothing physical, just a fun conversation with a friend from school or work or something.

Nine times out of ten, she’ll smile back.  Even do a few double takes when you pass each other.

This is the perfect “energy” to have when out in public.

Most guys like girls, but they don’t know how to meet girls. For most guys, meeting girls just happens. Which means it always feels out of control.

And most guys like sex, but don’t get nearly as much as they want (if any lol).

You combine these two feelings, and whenever they see a cute girl they’d LIKE to get with, it brings up all kinds of negative feelings. Lack, being out of control, feeling alone, left behind, etc.

And sometimes these feelings morph into anger at the girl.

This is a natural human trait. We want something, and we can’t get it, so we blame the world. In this case the girl.

Now, it’s pretty obvious what will happen with this mindset. You’ll be looking at a girl with a mixture of lust, frustration, desperation and perhaps even a tinge of anger.

Not the kind of energy she’s looking for in a guy.

This, of course, will make it much harder to meet girls, which will increase those feelings. And this is a very hard trap to get out of.

So you’ve got to prime the pump, so to speak.

Hence the exercise described above.

The trick is to FORCE your brain to think of a happy, carefree spontaneous conversation you had with  a girl, no matter how long ago.

Then FORCE your brain to “pretend” the girl you’re looking at is an old friend. 

These two thoughts combined will get rid of those negative feelings and emotions long enough for her to notice your energy, and flash you an honest smile.

And when a cute girl flashes you an honest smile, and holds it, and even does a double take, it feels pretty good.

Try this out whenever you’re in a funk. Try and get five to ten good, honest smiles before talking to anybody.

It will not only put you in a good mood, but it will turn that negative self sustaining loop into a positive one.

Learn More Mind Tricks:

mindpersuasion.com

Stop Making Childish Excuses!

Get Out There And Get In The Mix!

Put On Your Big Boy Pants

It doesn’t take much effort find so called “game experts” bemoaning the state of male-female relationships these days.

If you dig beneath the surface, what many of these “gurus” are really teaching is a very complicated philosophical “proof” that is based on the oldest excuse in the book.

“It’s Not My Fault.”

Now, this is a very touchy subject. On the one hand, very few people had ideal childhoods. And it’s no secret that something as emotionally deep and powerful as male-female relationships is HIGHLY dependent on how well you were “raised” in this regard.

To be certain, those things that happened to you as a kid were absolutely NOT your fault.

But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about guys who claim they can’t get laid, or find the ideal woman, or find WHATEVER they want, because of a variation of an age old argument that will simply not die.

“The World Is Broken.”

If you were to develop some invisible time machine that had a universal translator so you could travel around and listen in on various people belly aching about pretty much ANY kind of “lack,” you’d hear the same argument.

“It was much better in the good old days.”

“This generation has gotten a raw deal.”

“There just aren’t any X out there. I’ve looked.”

X can be jobs, girls, plots of land to build a cabin, places to prospect for gold, rocks to throw at zebras, you name it.

Why is this argument so popular?

Because it’s incredibly easy.

It takes no risk. It takes little mental effort. It’s very common so you’ll always have good company (misery loves company, eh?)

AND it protects you from taking risks, failing, or doing ANYTHING uncomfortable.

But guess what?

When it comes to girls, WHATEVER you want, you can get.

So long as you are willing to do what it takes to get it.

The strategy is simple.

Choose your criteria. Looks, personality, belief, religion, family background, etc.

Then simply start sorting.

AND realize that your dream girl must be attracted to you as much as you’ll be attracted to her.

Many guys miss this obvious point.

They think any kind of “work” they do is not dependent on her subjective desires.

Your job is to NOT ONLY find a girl who meets your criteria, but to meet a girl that thinks YOU meet HER criteria.

This, unquestionably, is a LOT of work.

And it’s understandable if you don’t want to put in that much work.

Just don’t kid yourself.

Don’t say, “The market sucks.” Or “There aren’t any quality women.”

At least do yourself the courtesy of telling yourself the truth:

“I probably could find my dream girl, but I’m too scared, and I’m too lazy.”

But if you really DO want to find her, (and you should because the benefits are better than ANYTHING on planet Earth), then get busy.

This Will Help:

mindpersuasion.com

True Alpha Behavior

Alphas Aren't Really Mean and Scary

Not What Most Guys Think

Many guys get stuck when girls try and “test” them.

If you read any forum related to getting girls, guys will post something she did or said, and ask:

“Was this a test?”

It can be confusing. You can be jamming along, everything’s groovy, and then suddenly she says or does something that doesn’t make any sense, and kind of puts you on the defensive.

When this happens, and it does, will and continue to happen, it generally IS a test.

Why do girls do this?

Girls don’t like guys for the same reasons guys like girls. Guys are much more into looks and physical beauty. This doesn’t mean that it’s the ONLY thing, but it’s a pretty important one.

Girls, on the other hand, are much less concerned with looks, and more concerned with personality. This, of course doesn’t mean that looks are COMPLETELY irrelevant to girls, but they’re not nearly as important as guys think they are.

So when a guy is checking out a girl, he knows right away if he’s attracted. She’s pretty, she’s got nice features, she’s dressed to kill. In about two seconds, the male attraction is fired up.

But when girls feel attraction, it doesn’t happen right away. She needs to be a lot more sure of his personality.

Since this has been true since the dawn of time, girls are hard wired to “test” a guy to make sure he can handle unexpected things.

No girl wants to hook her wagon to a guy who’s going to collapse into a butt-hurt little boy at the first sign of trouble.

So, how do you respond?

Think of it from her perspective. A evolutionary, biological perspective.

The whole purpose of her tests is to make sure he can handle adversity without being affected.

Which means you don’t get angry, you don’t try and “flip the script” and show her who’s boss.

The less her tests bother you, the better.

This is the REAL dominant alpha that girls respond to.

Not the kind who can yell and scream and act all tough and stoic and all of that other BS.

The guy who’s happy and content with himself and sure of himself and his abilities no matter WHAT happens.

Imagine you’re a caveman, and you’ve got a cave wife and a couple of cave kids following you down some dirt path.

If you come up to an obstacle, how do you respond?

If you’re her ideal caveman, you’ll simply say, “Hmm. An obstacle. Let’s go around it.”

If you’re a butt-hurt little cave boy, you’ll say, “This is so unfair! I didn’t sign up for this!”

Which guy do you think most girls would like to follow?

Build up your belief in yourself. Accept whatever she says as an opportunity to demonstrate your value by shrugging them off.

No big deal.

This will get her attracted to you faster than anything else.

More Mind Tools:

mindpersuasion.com

How To Meet Your Ideal Girlfriend

Get Her To Fall In Love With You

Step By Step To Love

How do you get a girl to like you?

Many guys struggle with this. If this is you, then you may not like you’re about to read.

To be sure, there’s plenty of courses and trainings and seminars that teach certain step by step behaviors and language patterns to get into her goods.

And to an extent, these work pretty well, especially if you’re only looking for short term flings.

But if you’re really into a girl, and you think she may be “The One,” then those “tricks” might backfire.

To make this easier to understand, we’ll use the metaphor of food, rather than seduction. It works the same way, as in it’s not a choice, and when it happens it happens. And when somebody gets REALLY hungry, especially for a certain food, there’s not much that will stop them from satisfying that hunger.

So let’s say you’ve got this potential customer. You’ve got to get them hungry, so they’ll buy what you’ve got.

But since you’ve only got certain ingredients, you can’t really cook ANYTHING. If you’re a bakery, for example, and all they want is deep fried pizza, there’s not much you can do.

Anyhow, there ARE a lot of “tricks” you can do to entice people’s hunger for bread. Offer discounts. Make sure your bread smells really good when people get close to your store. Put up a picture of the mayor in your shop.

And if you use enough of these tricks, you’ll get enough customers to come into your shop to buy bread.

One thing that WON’T work is if you explain to people consciously why they should eat bread.

Another that wouldn’t work is if you tell him how desperate you are for their business. Or how happy you’ll be if you buy their bread.

The ONLY thing that will work is if you get them hungry for bread.

Which means it’s got to be THEIR decision, based on THEIR unconscious desires. Try as you may, you simply CAN NOT use conscious ideas and logic to trigger somebody’s UNCONCIOUS desires.

That’s why plenty of adverts don’t make any conscious sense, but they work like gangbusters to sell products.

Here’s something else to consider. Supposing they do fall for your marketing tricks (authority, social proof, good smelling bread, testimonials from famous people etc.) guess what’s going to happen if they get your bread home and find out that your bread tastes like crap?

That’s right, they won’t buy any more of your bread.

Can you see how this works with females?

You can ask her or beg her or trick her to like you. 

But won’t unless the following happens:

She Must Be Attracted To You For Reasons She Can’t Explain Logically

How do you do this?

Well, I hate to say this, but you’ve got to be as attractive AND authentic as you can.

Meaning put aside the tricks or language manipulation. Build up your self confidence, social skills, frame control, and your belief in your ability to create and live a magnificent life.

Be yourself, but transform yourself into your very BEST self. For real. For life.

Then interact with as many girls as you can.

Essential Mind Tools:

mindpersuasion.com