Category Archives: Influence

How To Get Her To Follow You Anywhere

Be A Leader First

How you deal with frame tests will make or break your game.

Most guys are terrible at this. At the first sign of trouble, they eject, run home, write some post on their favorite forum about how girls are evil, and they shouldn’t behave the way they do, and get all kinds of positive support and feedback from a world filled with keyboard jockeys.

Now, think about this from a female perspective. Most guys never do this. Most guys think of “women” in the abstract, and expect them to behave in a certain way, and then they get all butt hurt when they don’t.

Don’t Expect A Pushover

Imagine a woman moving through the world. She wants a strong leader. She wants somebody who will make her feel safe. She wants somebody who will “softly” overpower her frame, with respect and kindness.

She DOESN’T want some guy who’s going to expect her to behave in a certain way, they get emotionally wounded when she doesn’t.

She is hard wired to shake your frame any way she can, just to make sure you’re the real deal. The STRONGER your frame, the STRONGER her attraction for you. The ONLY way she will know if your frame is strong is if she tests it.

Crude Example

Think of a blind guy going to a bar. He only likes girls with big boobs, so he’s got to cop a feel whenever possible to qualify of disqualify girls. Now, he won’t just reach out and grab them, that would get him slapped. So he’ll talk to her, touch her shoulder, and eventually rub up against her boobs with his arm or something.

When a girl talks to a guy, she’s got the same disadvantage. She’s got to “feel out” your frame. She can’t tell by looking, and she can’t tell by surface structure conversation. She’s got to rattle you a bit, and see how you respond.

How do you prepare for this? Practice verbal flexibility. Practice choosing an outcome, an intention for the conversation, and gently steer it back to that intention no matter WHERE the conversation goes.

Language Ninja

That way, no matter WHAT she says, you’ll just see it is a short detour, and then get back on track.

Every time you steer the conversation back on track, she’ll follow you, and any time a girl follows a guy, physically, conversationally, or metaphorically, that spells attraction.

How do you learn how to do this?

Here’s How:

Natural Influence

The Ideal Frame Of Mind For Attraction

Warning! Kind Of Gross

Most guys approach girls like they are, in some way, like their moms.

This is deeply subconscious, even old Freud, that “cigar is just a cigar” guy realized this.

Of course, when girls first meet guys, they will almost always seem them through the filter of their father. One of the easiest ways to predict how any relationship will unfold is see how she thinks about her father, her relationship with him, and how he thinks about his mom, and his relationship with her.

All Below The Surface

Obviously, none of this is going on consciously. Few guys or girls will look out into the thumping bar scene and sort for people that remind them of their parents.

However, once you break out of this common way of thinking, you’ll gain a tremendous amount of power and freedom with the type of girls you deal with.

Bible Knowledge

Way back in the Old Testament, it says a guy will leave his family and stick to his wife.

Meaning he’ll grow up within the family unit, fully dependent on Mom and Dad, and as soon as he’s old enough, he hooks up with his wife. His wife, of course, does the same thing.

Which means in a very real sense, husbands and wives become replacements for moms and dads.

If you look out into the world today, you’ll see plenty of evidence of this.

Not Like Kids!

Unfortunately, it’s usually the guys doing the child like behavior.

Meaning it’s very common for guys to treat their wives or girlfriends like their moms.

They feel the need to ask for permission, get approval and are always worried about making her happy.

Believe it or not, girls HATE this.

They Want Leaders Not Beggars

Girls would very much like guys to be independent thinkers. They want, on a deep level, a guy who will LEAD, so they can follow. No girl dreams about meeting prince charming so she can lecture him about staying up past his bedtime.

No girls dreams about some easily butt-hurt little boy who’s going to be always asking for her permission.

So, how do you create this personality, rather than the little boy personality?

Next time your out and about, FORCE yourself to think of your IDEAL LIFE, that is not dependent on ANY PARTICULAR GIRL. When you are imagining your ideal life, see your girl in a SUPPORTING ROLE.

Find Your Leading Lady

Imagine your life as a movie. You are the star. She is NOT the co-star. She is a supporting actress.

When you look out across the sea of femininity, look for an appropriate supporting actress. Not a co-star, not a surrogate mother.

Look at the girls in your life that you are dating, or thinking about dating, and ask yourself:

“Which of these girls can best help me get what I want?”

And then choose accordingly.

To help you even further, check this out:

Natural Influence

She Loves The Mysterious You

Right Action Creates Wonderful Attraction

The same skills you need to take action are the same traits that will make you attractive.

There’s this theory in quantum physics thought up by a guy named Schroedinger.

He says that all matter-energy states exist in a state of “limbo” and they only solidify when they are observed.

That Cat

The famous example is “Schroedinger’s Cat.” There’s a box, and there’s a cat inside. Is the cat alive, or dead? If the box is closed, it’s both alive AND dead. In that state of quantum limbo. Only when you open the box will you see if it’s alive or dead.

Creating attraction, if you’re a guy, works the same way. Girls are different. Guys feel attraction for girls based largely their looks. This isn’t PC, this is just the way it is.

Girls feel attraction for guys based on their behavior. Not PC, just the way it is.

So when you’re looking at her across the room, you already know she’s hot.

But she’s looking at you, and she’s not sure. Despite what all the gurus tell you about wearing all kinds of bling and colorful peacocked shirts, that will only give you a slight advantage.

Your Actions Tell Her Everything

As soon as you make a move, that advantage (if it was one) will quickly vanish, overshadowed by your behavior.

But here’s the thing.

The mindset that makes it easy to approach, is the SAME mindset that makes you ultra attractive.

The on that says, “Hey, she’s pretty cute, I wonder what her personality is like?”

Don’t Beg For Attention

Not the on that says, “Wow, she’s a Goddess! I hope she accepts me!”

The good news is that just like Schroedinger’s cat, nobody knows until you make a move. When she’s checking you it across the room, she really can’t know anything about you unless she sees you in action.

The first step is to walk across the room with confidence. This is easy when you haven’t pedestalized her. Just see her as a cute girl with an unknown personality. Maybe really sweet, maybe a nutjob lunatic.

Dig For Her Treasure

The second step is to talk to her with a playful and interesting way. Don’t worry by impressing her with your stats. Ask the right questions, and gently guide her to through the right emotions.

Do that and you’ll get any girl you want.

Learn More:

Natural Influence

Where Do You Rank In Social Status?

It’s Always Somebody Else

We all love to point the finger.

No matter what happens, one of the EASIEST things to do is feel like a “victim.”

If we are a victim, then it’s not our fault.

And sometimes, it’s much better failing, if it’s NOT our fault, than anything else.

This is one of the reasons we humans LOVE authority figures so much.

Who’s In Charge?

All kinds of experiments show that when you put a group of people in a strange situation, there will ALWAYS emerge some kind of “leader.”

Now, think about what this requires. It requires at least one person in every single group to WANT to become a leader. To WANT to tell others what to do.

On the other hand, it requires many more people to WANT to be followers. To WANT to be TOLD what to do.

Whatever You Say, Boss

After all, being told what to do removes a lot of fear, and a lot of risk. It also removes the need to think, especially about actions with uncertain outcomes.

If there’s one thing we humans are terrified of, it’s taking action when we’re not sure what’s going to happen.

But if somebody steps up and says, “I’m in Charge!” It’s suddenly much, much easier for a lot of us.

I’m Just Following This Guy

No thinking, no worrying, no tough decisions. And if things go wrong, it’s not OUR fault, right?

We were just doing what we were told.

The funny thing is that the capacity of being a leader, AND being a follower is in EVERYBODY.

And this is based on scientific proof, not some squishy metaphysical idea.

See, they’ve done TONS of experiments. They take groups of people, split them apart into smaller, completely random groups.

And in each group, one person’s a leader, and everybody else is a follower.

But not all followers are equal. There’s a certain “pecking order,” or varying levels of social status.

There’s people that are in the middle, and there’s people that are clearly at the bottom.

And guess what? When they take the very BOTTOM PERSON from each group, and put THEM in a group, the same thing happens.

One person ends up the leader, and everybody else is a follower.

That means in every situation, you can be a leader, or YOU can be a follower.

It’s up to you.

Here’s something else to think about.

Are You Waiting For Permission?

All of the people in the history of the world who created great things, great ideas, great inventions, do you think they waited until somebody TOLD them what to do?

Or did they just DO IT?

If you’re waiting for somebody to come and hold your hand, and show you the risk free step by step process to EASY SUCCESS, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

On the other hand, if you’re willing to learn, take responsibility and TRY NEW THINGS, then you’ve got a fighting chance.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

How To Discover Your Inner Magic

Unconscious Love

The border between the conscious and unconscious is where it’s at.

When you’re (or your body is) doing something unconsciously, like walking, breathing (most of the time) pulsing your blood through your veins, and processing the billions of bits of information hitting your sense, you never know.

When you’re doing something consciously, like writing (most of the time), speaking about some kind of topic that’s crucial to your livelihood (like talking to your boss or your kids) then it’s all above board, and you know what’s going on.

But the magic happens when it’s right there on the border. When it could easily go either way.

Getting lost in conversation with a friend or loved one, and then forgetting what you were talking about.

In The Flow

Playing a well rehearsed piece on an instrument, and both listening and playing at the same time.

Losing yourself in physical activity, getting that often sought after “flow.”

This is when we humans are at our best.

That perfect combination of automatic instinctive, and subconsciously programmed behaviors coupled with consciously chosen direction.

This is pure magic. When we choose where we want to go, with our conscious, and then turn over the reigns to our unconscious to get us there.

With our full trust and appreciation.

Expand The Interface

The bigger this “border” is, and the more often we experience it, the richer our lives become.

Consciously looking out into a world filled with wonderful opportunities, while digging deep below the surface to pull up our vast resources.

Combining conscious vision and unconscious skills to achieve greatness.

When people fully begin to realize the vast reaches and depths of their minds, they usually come to one stunning conclusion:

“There is MAGIC here!”

Have you discovered yours yet?

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Your HUGE Upside Potential

Flip Fear Around

Most people, when coming up against risk and possible failure, ask themselves the question, “What if it doesn’t work?”

Meaning they focus on the potential negative outcome. Which of course increases the chance of it happening. This is similar to the thinking in NLP to “not use a negative.”

If you tell a kid to NOT do something, they’ll do it. Since “not” is an abstract concept, if somebody tells you to NOT cross the street against the red light, you’ll HAVE to imagine yourself crossing the street against the red light.

The Can’t Process A Negative Myth

Of course, like any other quick and easy saying, this doesn’t always hold true. If I told you NOT to jump into the piranha tank at the zoo, you’d have to picture yourself jumping in, getting eaten, and then come back to me with a, “Yea, no kidding, genius!”

So in a sense, when we’re trying something when the outcome is uncertain, we’re kind of telling ourselves, on an unconscious level, to NOT fail. Then of course, we imagine failing. Which is the same as asking ourselves, “What if it doesn’t work?”

But as somebody famously said, the quality of your life is based on the qualify of the questions you ask yourself.

Flip Your Questions Around

Once you train yourself to ask yourself, “What if it DOES work?” Then instead of feeling fear and anxiety in face of those uncertain situations, you’ll be thinking of all the cool stuff that will happen when you do succeed.

While you may not succeed in that particular instance, you WILL succeed eventually, if you KEEP taking action, and you KEEP asking yourself those positive questions.

Right Questions Yield More Answers

The thing about asking yourself those positive questions is you’ll get a LOT more answers. If you fail, there’s only a few things that will happen.

(For those of you into trading, it’s kind of like the difference between shorting a stock and going long. If you short, you can only make so much. But if you go long, you can hang on for YEARS and make a fortune.)

But if you succeed, the sky’s the limit. There’s literally no telling what will happen once you succeed.

One success leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to more creative ideas and creative action.

Magic Generating Creativity

This is what happens when you open up the TRUE creative genius in your mind. Not just higher intelligence, or a better memory, or passing all your tests with flying colors (AND a good night’s sleep) but the massive creativity that WILL make life magic.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Free Mind Tools:

Secrets Of Seduction Resonance

When I was a kid, I LOVED the idea of resonance.

This is when you apply a certain frequency to a certain system, where the applied frequency is the same as the natural frequency.

Like pumping your legs on a swing in the same frequency as the swing plus you, as a pendulum.

If you pump your legs at the right frequency, you can get pretty high without much effort.

Leverage The Laws of Physics

Similar to sloshing all the water out of a bathtub. Slide back and forth at the same frequency of the water in the tub, and you can get your mom pretty angry.

I had a science teacher once who applied this on a boat.

Him and his buddies (about ten people) were on the top deck of this sightseeing boat. They would go back and forth across the top, cause the boat to rock slightly. Once they figured out what the natural rocking frequency of the boat was, they just copied it.

Pretty soon the boat was tipping back and forth with HUGE swings, making everybody completely freaked out. There they were on calm seas, and they were rocking back and forth as if they were in a storm.

Everywhere You Look

This concept of “resonance” shows up all over nature, and you can use it with MAD results in seduction.

In fact, if used correctly, (which DOES take practice!) you’ll be able to get a girl so turned on BEFORE you approach her, you can say pretty much ANYTHING, and she’ll be all over you.

How does it work?

It requires that you see and understand all the micro signals that people are sending out ALL the time.

Body language, facial expressions, how slow or fast their eyes move around, how long they hold eye contact, and about a billion other things.

The Female Advantage

Now, women hard wired to do this automatically. Meaning they can walk into a room and “feel” right away who’s into whom, who’s secretly screwing whom, who WANTS to secretly bang whom, who’s been having a fight, etc.

When you gain this ability, you’ll literally be able to see into the female world.

Which means you’ll be able to see each individual girl’s “resonance frequency.”

Enter Her World

Then all you’ve got to do is interact with her, congruent with HER resonance frequency, and she’ll feel a deep connection with you, and she won’t know why.

Now, being able to read a room like that takes some practice. Both going out in public and just “feeling” the energy, as well as doing regular mind development exercises which will significantly boost your social intelligence.

But once you get there, you’ll literally see into a world that few people know exist.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

The Path To Inspiration

Where does “inspiration” come from?

Many people would LOVE to create a lot more in life, but feel they aren’t sufficiently “inspired.”

I’m sure you’ve heard the famous statement, “Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration,” and I think it’s commonly misunderstood.

Consistent Effort Required

People generally assume that once they feel “inspired” that “inspiration” will give them the motivation and energy to push through all that icky “perspiration.”

However, it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes you’ve got to start with the perspiration before you get any inspiration. Sometimes that magical one percent inspiration doesn’t come until you’ve put in fifty or even sixty percent perspiration.

Always Stirring The Pot

Of all the geniuses throughout history, the ones that came up with ideas that literally changed the world, they didn’t get their ideas by passively sitting around waiting for a magical jolt of inspiration from the gods.

They worked tirelessly day in, day out, sometimes being ridiculed by their peers, BEFORE they got that inspiration.

What kept them going was not the inspiration itself, but the belief that it WAS COMING.

Think of somebody who loves to run every morning. I used to, so I speak from experience.

Getting out of bed is never easy, especially when it’s still dark outside.

Stretching, putting on your shoes, and starting the run takes an enormous amount of willpower.

But after I literally FORCED myself to do it every single day for a few weeks, it got easier and easier.

Powerful Momentum

Not because I bounded out of bed every morning a huge desire to run around my neighborhood in the dark while everybody else was still sleeping, but because I KNEW what was coming.

Inevitably, after a couple miles, after I slipped into a rhythm and FORGOT I was exercising, I would get what people call a “runner’s high.” A mix of brain chemicals pumped into the blood that minimize physical discomfort and maximize feelings of euphoria.

But every single morning, part of me wanted to stay in bed. Part of me wanted to accept that it was OK to “go running tomorrow instead.”

Only by overcoming that internally placed obstacle with perspiration, did I ever experience that inspiration that I KNEW would come.

Bank Shot Method

This the TRUE secret of creation. Put in the work first, and the inspiration comes later.

Luckily, there are some proven techniques to not only increase your genius thinking ability as well as some “genius mining techniques” so you can go through the same process.

Do the work first, and those genius inspirations WILL FOLLOW.

Learn More:

Intelligence Accelerator

Blast Away Social Anxiety

Most of us are shy when we ask for something.

At the very least, we’re a bit nervous before interrupting somebody and getting them to do what we want.

Even if it’s their job, like a waiter or waitress in a restaurant, or a teacher in a classroom, a lot of us are a bit timid when breaking somebody’s training of thought and asserting our wishes in there.

After all, they could say no.

Truth is that we’ve all been programmed to one degree or another to be a little “nervous” when asking for something. Since if “they” (whoever they are) say “no,” we’re pretty much done.

On a deep level, it feels like we are giving them complete control over our lives, just for a little bit.

They have, for a brief instant, the power of approval or disapproval. Approval feels fantastic, disapproval feels terrible, and it’s completely OUT of our hands.

All mammals are hard wired to absolutely HATE situations where they don’t have power and choice. All kinds of studies on rats and other simple creatures show this over and over.

Is there away out of this trap?

There most certainly is. Most of us just “pop the question” without any regards to the other persons wants and needs.

Now, if you already know the person, as a friend or partner or spouse, there’s not much risk.

But if you don’t know them, that anxiety can creep up.

However, when you first find out what THEY want, and then frame your request or suggestion in terms of what THEY want, rather than what you want, something pretty cool will happen.

They won’t see you as “imposing” on them. They’ll see you as “helping them.”

When they satisfy your request, whatever it is, instead of seeing it as “accommodating” you, they’ll see it as a win-win outcome where you’re BOTH getting your needs met.

More like an even trade, rather than one person giving somebody else something.

And when you can get people to feel that, you’re doing pretty good.

Pretty soon all that anxiety vanishes, and you start to REALLY feel your power.

Relationships, interactions, even basic communication all becomes a lot easier.

Develop Long Lasting Recognition

It’s been said that when we don’t care who gets credit, we can get a lot more done.

However, voluntarily giving up public recognition is a hard thing to do. General Napoleon (among others) knew his solders would fight with a lot more intensity if they knew there was a chance of being publicly recognized for their bravery.

If you’ve ever had a good idea, and somebody else got or took credit for it, it certainly stings.

However, there is short term “credit” or “recognition,” and there’s a longer term “energy.”

What’s this mean?

If somebody gets a good idea, and they take credit (deservedly or not) that recognition won’t usually last long. On the flip side of coming up a good idea is the concept of “what have you done for me lately.”

If you spend too much time worrying about getting credit, or recognition, people are going to start to notice.

Instead of thinking of you as the “idea person,” they’ll start to think of you as the “attention seeking person.”

On the other hand, if you’re the person who’s always coming with good ideas, and specifically letting others take the credit, you’ll be developing something MUCH more powerful.

A deep sense of appreciation and magnetism. People will start to think of YOU, in unconscious terms as somebody that’s just good to have around.

They’ll feel much better, much safer, and in much more capable hands when you’re there.

And since this will all be on an unconscious level, it will come across to them as a deep feeling of appreciation and gratitude that they just can’t put there fingers on.

So, how do you BECOME that idea person? Easy. Just base everything you discuss largely on THEIR criteria.

Since we always take actions and make decisions on our own criteria, when you start out by talking about THEIR criteria, without being obvious, you’ll seem like a breath of fresh air.

Since you’re really using THEIR criteria to base your ideas on, you’ll just need to change up your communication style, just a bit.

Instead of showing up and overwhelming them with your ideas (like almost everybody else does), you’ll be covertly eliciting THEIR ideas, and handing them right back to them.

And they’ll think it’s (and YOU’RE) the greatest thing since sliced bread.