Category Archives: Self Confidence

How To Update Your Brain

Update Your Brain Software

Don’t Wait For Automatic Updates

Often times I’ll be getting ready for bed, and I’ll go to shut off my laptop.

Then Windows tells me I’ve got to wait for more than ten updates before it shuts down.

Thanks Windows!

Since shutting down my laptop is the last thing I until I hit the sack, it kinds of throws a monkey wrench into my big plans!

I’ve also got a couple other pieces of software that kind of fire off on their own.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be without these. One is an anti-virus checker, and one is an automatic backup.

I had a computer crash many years ago and lost TONS of data. Never again.

While they do seem to fire off at the absolute wrong times, they are pretty amazing.

Those dudes and gals who design all this software know that most of us are pretty lazy, and if it didn’t update automatically, it never would.

Our brains are sort of the same way, but not really.

On the one hand, our brains are way more advanced that humans a few hundred thousand years ago.

So our brains do kind of “manually update,” just like Windows, only the process is very, very slow.

At least the automatic process.

The reality is that your brain is much more under you control that you realize.

But since nobody ever teaches how to do this in school, we assume our brain are fixed.

Now, there ARE plenty of types of folks who benefit from this. Politicians, advertisers, con artists, etc.

Which is why often times the “powers that be” would much rather us stay with our factory programming.

If we are unaware, and prone to fear and anxiety, we’re much easier to control, and sell stuff to.

As I’m sure you’re aware, creating fear is a great way to sell a product, get votes, make sure you slip a couple of extra bills into the collection basket at church, etc.

The good news is that you don’t need to keep relying on your factory settings.

You can rewrite the wiring in your brain.

Instead of feeling anxious and nervous when going into new situations, you can feel relaxed and confident.

Now, it’s not as easy a waiting around for a few extra minutes before you go to sleep while your brain downloads the latest updates, but it’s pretty darn close.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence Generator

How To Re-Write Your Caveman Brain

Rewiring Your Brain Is Easier Than You Think

Ready For Human Brain 2.0?

I remember the first time I went bungee jumping, a long time ago.

Of course, I’ve only gone twice, but the first time was WAY different than the second time.

Even though my conscious mind was totally aware there was ZERO danger, I was still petrified.

Me and a buddy went to this amusement park, and one of the rides was bungee jumping. It was about twenty stories high, and the stairway to the top was inside the skeleton like structure.

We decided I’d go first, so my buddy watched me walk up to the top. He said I was slow, and hunched over, like I was walking to the gallows or something.

The guy at the top gave me the instructions (just stand at the edge and lean forward), and I almost passed out from fear.

But as soon as I went past the moment of no-return, something pretty amazing happened.

My fear was immediately replaced by exhilaration. Excitement. A feeling like I’d never felt before.

Pure adrenalin.

The next time I went, (a year or so later) it was much different. Since I knew what to expect, it was exciting the entire time. I walked up the stairs faster, and instead of slowly “leaning forward,” I leapt off the top platform.

Most conventional wisdom tells us we have to do something first, and then the confidence comes later.

Normally, this is true.

But normally, we’re using our brains the way they are hard wired. With the factory installed programming. Programming that was designed for a time when there were just as many critters trying to eat us as we were trying to eat them.

As you’re well aware, that’s not true any more. There’s rarely any physical danger. If you’re in a job interview, and you give the wrong answer, the guy’s not going to call in a couple of goons to beat you to a pulp.

If you walk over and talk to a pretty girl and say the wrong pick up line, she’s not going to pull out a switchblade and stab you in the eye.

But our caveman brains don’t think so. Our caveman (or cave woman) brains are still screaming bloody murder, like there’re tigers around every corner.

The good news is that with a little bit of reprogramming, and some targeted visualization, you can flip the switch on where confidence comes from.

You can get the confidence FIRST, and then take action.

Easy action.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

Why More Failure Means More Success

Time Waits For No Man

Action Is Everything

In dating they’ve got this thing called the “three second rule.”

When a guy sees a girl, he’s supposed to walk over and start a conversation within three seconds.

Now, some say this is because all girls are super confident and are always in control of their emotions, which means if they send a “signal” to a guy that it’s safe to come over, and he doesn’t, then she’ll lose interest, within three seconds.

This, of course, is utter nonsense.

One thing most guys are shocked to find out is that girls are just as clueless as guys when it comes to finding, meeting and creating relationships.

So that’s not the reason for the three second rule.

What is?

If you expand this back a bit, and consider ALL desires, then the three second rule makes more sense.

I remember a long time ago I was at this goofy real estate seminar. The instructor, (in a clever ploy to “train” the audience to take action) pulled out a hundred dollar bill and just held it out.

About one or two seconds passed by, until one person got up and ran to the front. Soon after she did, about twenty other people did the same thing.

Since she was first, she got the $100.

Everybody else that was waiting to make sure it was “safe” didn’t get squat.

(As an aside, that same guru did that a few times during this “free” seminar before the big “pitch” which meant that by then many of the attendees were “well trained” to dive right into his multi-thousand dollar course.)

The bottom line is that when you see an opportunity, it’s a good idea to take it.

Not wait around for confirmation.

Not wait for somebody to give you clear instructions

Not wait until other people take action so you know it’s safe.

Hence the three second rule.

If you could train yourself, to AUTOMATICALLY take action, without thinking, within three seconds, what would you do?

In the dating community, guys that do this are called “approach machines.”

See somebody cute, walk up and start talking BEFORE you get a chance to talk yourself out of it.

What if you could do this with ALL opportunities?

Sure, you’d strike out a bunch.

But so did Babe Ruth.

AND he also hit WAY more home runs than anybody else, at the time.

He didn’t wait for an OK or a signal from his coach before he swung.

He saw high fat one and instinctively swung with all his might.

(He also lived large off the field as well).

Would you like to do the same?

This will teach you how:

Self Confidence

How To Feel Confident In Any Situation

Life Is An Inside Game

It’s An Inside Game

I remember a long time ago I decided to learn the piano.

I bought a fairly cheap keyboard, and couple of “do it yourself” learning books.

And I stuck with it long enough to be able to play a few fairly complicated songs from memory.

At the same time, I didn’t really want anybody to know. If my friends and colleagues knew, they might ask me to play in front of them (or so I imagined).

Playing at home seemed fine, but the idea of playing in front of people was something I was definitely NOT interested in.

Funny how a lot of our behaviors are like that. We do great on our own, but are embarrassed as hell if we find out somebody’s watching.

If you ever get caught singing in the car, you know what I mean.

There’s a reason why that saying, “Dance like nobody’s looking” has so much power.

Something about social pressure makes us cringe.

On the other hand, if you get unexpected and positive social attention, there’s not much that feels better.

Napoleon learned a long time ago that the easiest way to generate loyalty among his troops was to praise them in front of others.

The funny thing is that if you watched two videos of two different situations, it would be hard to tell the difference between social pressure and positive social recognition.

If you’ve ever done something publicly, thought it went terrible, and then were told you did perfect, you know what I’m talking about.

Back when I was doing Toastmasters, for example, I’d give speeches. I’d think I’d failed miserably, and then people would come up afterwards and not only compliment me, but ask me for more information about the topic.

The truth is that feeling confident or not confident when doing something is more of an inside game than most of us realize.

If we imagine something is going to be hard, or we’re going to fail, we’ll feel nervous and anxious.

But if we imagine something is going to be easy and we’ll succeed, we’ll feel like we own the situation.

The good news is that both of these “hallucinations” is totally under your control.

You just have to learn how to “front run” your brain so it doesn’t slip into automatic thinking.

To learn how, check this out:

Self Confidence

Is Your Life Complete?

Keep Climbing

Do You Have Everything You Want?

They say it’s not the cards you are dealt, but how you play them.

If, of course, refers to poker. The game is a LOT more complicated that just checking your cards vs. your opponents.

There’s plenty of strategy, and there’s plenty of ways you can present your cards.

In many games, there’s also a chance to replace the cards you want with ones that are hopefully better.

Change Whatever You Want

Clearly, life is very similar. We all come into this world with certain “cards,” like our parents, our looks, our height, etc.

And like in poker, we can “replace” some of the stuff we’ve got with something that we want.

For most people, this usually translates into moving to a different city, going into a different career than your parents, or altering your appearance through exercise.

One thing people rarely consider is their intelligence level.

Boost Your Brain Baby!

For one, I’m sure you’re aware that there are plenty of different kinds. Social intelligence, musical intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, mathematical intelligence, artistic intelligence, etc.

Most of us think of our “intelligence” like we think of our “personality.” If you’ve ever taken one of those personality tests, you may have felt “stuck” in one of those categories.

The truth is that WHO you REALLY are is not set in stone. Not in the least.

On the contrary, there is a LOT that you can change about yourself, for the better.

You Are More

Now, most people just accept who they are, accept what that will get them and shrug their shoulders and go back to watching TV.

But a select few realize there’s ALWAYS much more.

There’s ALWAYS room to grow, to change, to explore, to prosper.

The question is, which one are you?

Are you one of the “complacent” ones, who just accepts their lot in life, (and whatever happens to be on TV that night)?

Or do you look at yourself in the mirror and REALLY BELIEVE yourself when you say:

“I Can Do Anything.”

The truly successful people KNOW they their lives are ALWAYS a work in progress. They are ALWAYS learning, always growing, always exploring.

Are you?

Get Started:

Easily Eliminate Rejection

The fear of rejection is incredibly common, and incredibly debilitating.

It always stems from childhood, around the time you became a pain in the you-know-what.

If you’ve got kids, you know what I mean. When they’re young and cute, and can barley walk and talk, any step forward is a literal miracle.

However, once kids can move completely on their own, they stop being little bundles of happiness and become a stress inducing source of terror. What if somebody takes them? What if they get hurt? What if they run away and I can’t find them?

So we all go through a transition when the adults (or gods as we think of them at the time) stop smiling at everything we do, and start yelling at us, or looking at us with those angry faces.

Since we still think they are gods, the only conclusion we can make is that we did something wrong.

The only problem is we NEVER really have any idea what is “right” and what is “wrong.”

All we know is sometimes they smile, and sometimes they get angry.

Here we are as adults, and we still have that deep fear. We want to express ourselves, we want to take action, but part of us isn’t sure what’s going to happen. Maybe they’ll smile, maybe they won’t.

The trick is how you present yourself to others. If you present yourself as something that can be accepted or rejected, then you may get rejected.

For example, consider this common question, as guys ask girls on dates:

“Will you have dinner with me?”

She can say “yes,” she can say, “no.”

One is good, the other is bad. She says “yes,” it’s 100% success. She says “no” it’s 100% failure.

One simple shift in how you “ask” can make all the difference.

A common strategy is to say something like this:

“I’m going to Roberto’s for dinner tomorrow night. You can join me if you like.”

If she says “no,” it’s only about a 50% failure, 50% success, since you’re going anyway.

If she says “yes,” then it’s a 100% success.

But why even let them say “no?”

There’s a way to communicate with others so they wouldn’t even dream of saying “no.” Because you won’t be talking about  you, or your ideas, you’ll be talking about them.

The things they’re interested in. The things that fire up their imagination.

Then later on, (if you want), after you’ve built up a huge bubble of positive energy around them (a filter through which they’ll now see you) you talk about anything you’d like.

And because they’ll now start seeing YOUR ideas through THEIR desires, they’ll almost always go along with them.

Whatever they are.