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The Best Woman Problem To Have

The Perfect Balance

There’s a fantastic problem to have with women, and unfortunately, few guys will have it.

There’s a saying I’m sure you’ve heard: “Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.”

It’s also been said that there are two great tragedies in life.

Getting what you want, and not getting what you want.

If you spend your whole life chasing something, and never getting it, it sucks. Nothing feels worse than an unfulfilled dream.

Now, most guys don’t have this, although they think they do. Meaning they really, really wish they could get a hot girl, but they never really do anything to get her. To them, this is their “dream.” But it’s not really a dream any more than playing the lotto is a solid financial plan.

When they say not getting your dream is a tragedy, it assumes you’ve taken SERIOUS action toward getting it. When it comes to women, this doesn’t mean going to the club every Friday night and wishing really hard.

Nor does it mean sleeping with club girl after club girl and getting angry they don’t suddenly morph into your dream wife the next morning.

This means really living your life to the fullest, becoming and ultra alpha leader of men, meeting several high quality women, doing everything in your power to seduce them, and STILL coming up empty handed.

This, indeed, is a tragedy.

But it’s also highly unlikely.

But what about getting your dream? Why is that a tragedy?

Because once you get your dream, the chase ends. The self development ends. That positive expectation of an unfulfilled goal ends. The imagination of a better future ends.

This is why Alexander wept after he had no more lands to conquer. This is why many astronauts who walked on the moon has serious personal problems when they came back to Earth.

This is why when you meet your dream woman (or what you think is your dream woman at the time) TOO EARLY in life, it CAN present problems. Not always.

To be sure, there are couples who met in high school, and realize that their relationship is VERY IMPORTANT, so they take the time to work on it. To BECOME each other’s dream partner.

But for most guys, they don’t really meet their dream girl (nor do many women meet their dream guy) that early in life. Sure, they tell themselves that. But in reality it’s their dream person AT THE TIME.

As they move through life and increase in social skills, earning skills, intra-personal skills, they realize that maybe, JUST MAYBE, they sold themselves short and develop a wandering eye.

Herein between the two tragedies of life lies the BEST PROBLEM to have.

When do you stop searching, and start finding?

After all, the more you search, the more skills you’ll develop, and the higher criteria you’ll demand, AND the more attractive you’ll be.

But there comes a point, when you must choose.

This, of course, is a very personal decision, and will differ from person to person.

But this is a VERY NICE “women problem” to have.

Learn How:

Girlfriend Generator

Blast Away Emotional Storms

Re-Discover Your Beliefs

The idea of a “perfect storm” is pretty common.

It was first made popular by a book and movie of the same name.

A group of fishermen went out in the Atlantic, and two storms coincided, becoming impossible to escape from.

A “once in a lifetime event.”

Since then, every time there’s a confluence of “bad” events, it’s called a perfect storm.

On an individual level, it can certainly feel like everybody’s conspiring against you sometimes.

Nothing goes your way. All the lights are red. Everybody you talk to says “no,” before you even finish.

Makes you wonder why you even got out of bed!

Other days, the opposite can happen. Everybody thinks you’re a genius. Everybody’s checking you out wherever you go. All the lights are green.

The thing that our human experience and weather have in common is something called “feedback loops.”

Windy weather changes the conditions, which feed back into the system, and affect the weather. Every once in a while this turns into a hurricane or a tornado.

In the human experience, it kind of works the same way, only about a kajillion times more complicated.

Somebody shuts you down, this puts you in a bad mood, which makes the next person less likely to listen to you, etc. etc.

Naturally, this works both ways.

You smile at somebody, they smile back. Suddenly you’re on top of the world. Your energy changes. The way you behave changes. This, of course, changes how people perceive you, which changes how THEY behave towards you, making you feel even BETTER.

When you’re smack dab in the middle of a “negative feedback loop” it can seem like you’re stuck in a tornado.

After all, tornadoes don’t suddenly morph into happy sunshine without ripping out a few trailer parks first.

However, there’s something that humans have that make it MUCH EASIER to turn on a dime.

See, weather does what weather does. It HAS to follow the laws of physics. If a tornado doesn’t like being a tornado, he or she suddenly can’t change the laws of science to turn into a puffy white cloud of happiness.

On the other hand, humans DO have that power.

Since what happens to us is largely based on how we PERCEIVE events, rather than the events themselves.

Especially when it comes to trying to “guess” other people’s intentions based on some really vague behavior.

When somebody looks at us funny when we ask for something, it could be they hate our guts, or it could be they’ve got some really bad gas, or are madly in love with us.

Not only can we change the meaning of events as they happen, but we can the meaning of ALL the events in our lives.

Going way back to when we were kids, when all of our limiting beliefs and “limitations” were “discovered.”

This can make for some VERY INTERESTING opportunities!

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

Positive Thinking To Kill Approach Anxiety

Positive Mental Practice To Make It Easy

Right Mental Practice

One problem many guys have at many levels of game is approach anxiety. Or closing anxiety. Or even talking about difficult emotional issues anxiety.

On the flip side, the more easily you can do the scary stuff (and if you can’t admit to yourself that self generated, irrational fear is your BIGGEST enemy to success with women, then there’s not much you can do with technique) the more success you’ll have.

So, how do you deal with general game-anxiety?

Well, one method is to simply blast through your fears until they are gone. But this takes a lot of uncomfortable action. This takes a lot of time.

You could drink plenty of alcohol, but then you might wake up in a dumpster somewhere without your shoes.

One way works pretty well. It doesn’t require a million dollars worth of therapy, and it doesn’t require drugs or booze.

The reason guys feel afraid is our brains are hard wired to be more sensitive to potential danger than potential pleasure.

Which means if you simply let your brain go wherever it goes, you’re going to naturally drift to worse case scenario thinking.

The solution then is to simply FORCE yourself to think of positive things. Now, “positive thinking” gets a bad rap as being new-agey or metaphysical. But if your force yourself to think positive WHILE you are taking positive action, it’s a match made in heaven.

For example, you see a girl across the room. She smiles at you, looks away, and then looks back. This is a pretty clear signal she wants you to approach. Your rational brain is telling you it’s OK to approach.

But as soon as you start getting ready to, your caveman brain starts screaming bloody murder.

In spite of all those positive signals she’s given you, your now scared witless.

However, you can cut off your caveman brain by IMMEDIATELY thinking positive thoughts.

What positive thoughts? Rainbow riding unicorns? Cute pink puppy dogs?

No silly. Think of the last time you were getting laid!

(If you’ve never been laid, think of your last kiss, or even your favorite porno.)

Seriously.

Before you even begin your approach, start fully imagining the last time you got some. FORCE your brain to focus on that thought while you start to get up to approach. FORCE your brain to keep that imagine in mind while you walk over. Even when you start the conversation, try and hold that image in mind.

(Just don’t tell her, OK?)

Now, this is MUCH HARDER (lol) than it seems.

The brain is so hard wired to think of danger, whenever you’re doing something unfamiliar, it’s like your caveman thinks you’ll DIE if you don’t think negative.

After all, thinking negative has kept humans alive since even before we were humans!

So you’ll have to build up your “positive thinking” muscle.

Just practice when you’re out “observing” girls.

This will take time. Think of it as building up your “approach muscle.”

Here’s the BEST PART.

When you’re thinking positive (thinking about the last time you got some) while looking at her, you’ll generally be smiling and pretty happy.

She’ll think it’s because of HER, not your porno filled brain!

Now, you may need to fine tune your own experiences, how you express your “happiness,” but once you get it dialed in, you can kick approach anxiety to the curb, for good!

Girlfriend Generator

How To Vanish Painful Memories

Mental Time Travel

There’s a lot of cool movies involving some kind of age regression.

Some adult goes back to his high school days, for example, but with an adult mind.

I’m sure you could think of PLENTY of things you could better if you had a chance to do them again.

Of course, if you KNEW you were going to go back in time, and had a week to prepare, that would be pretty cool.

You’d check a couple years ahead of your “target” time period, and refresh your memory on all the news, sports results, and yes, stock market results.

Of course, then you’d have to worry about the whole “butterfly effect” thing.

You might come back to the present only to find everything’s changed. (Like when this happened on The Simpsons, everything was the same except it rained doughnuts!)

This is also a pretty good plot device in any kind of Sci-Fi or fantasy based movie. Terminator, Star Trek, and many, many others.

This is likely a popular plot device because it’s such a common desire. We’d LOVE to go back and change the past!

If only to take advantage of that one opportunity that we didn’t, or NOT say or do that thing we did.

As we move through life, we really don’t have the benefits of hindsight. Everything looks so easy after we’ve been through it.

It’s always so easy to see where we went wrong, or what somebody else did wrong.

Or is it?

The thing about human memory is it is INCREDIBLY weak. Even things you are SURE happened one way, they maybe happened another way.

You’ve probably had discussions like this with your friends, where either you or them were absolutely CERTAIN about the way things went, only to find evidence of the contrary.

This is kind of a weird, and somewhat uncomfortable feeling.

You’re absolutely positive beyond doubt that there’s three slices of pizza left in the fridge, but there’s only one.

Like some ghost snuck into your place while you were sleeping and ate them all!

Even criminal prosecutors know our memories are pretty undependable. If they have an eye witness, and NOTHING else (no weapon, no evidence, etc.) there’s not much they can do.

A cop even told me once when they talk to witnesses of accidents, even within minute or two of the accident, there “testimony” is all over the place.

This is actually pretty good news.

Why?

Because of us have some pretty painful memories. But when you realize that not only are many of these not so accurate, but also that we can easily change them, we open up a whole new world.

You can go back in time (in your mind) and NEUTRALIZE all those bad memories, until they’re gone!

POOF!

Get started:

Emotional Freedom

When Should You Not Isolate?

Are You Meeting Girls Or Hunting Zebras?

How To Not Get Played

Many guys and gurus will tell you that you should always isolate your target. Meaning if you are in some club or other public place where girls and guys are all hanging out secretly hoping to meet each other, you’ll need to separate her from her friends.

Now, on a basic level, this sounds pretty predatory. This sounds like something lions will do when hunting zebras. They find a weak zebra that’s kind of separated from the pack, making it easier to hunt. If they zoom in on some big fat zebra surrounded by big, tough looking zebras, the tough looking zebras will kick the crap out of the lion.

However, when you’re out meeting girls, you’re hopefully trying to build a relationship, even if it’s short term, based on a mutual desire. So the “separate from the pack” idea is kind of off base.

Sure, it’s a lot easier to “pick up” a girl if she doesn’t have her girlfriends hanging out. Certainly, even if she IS interested in you, her girlfriends will be jealous and would rather her NOT meet anybody, if only to make themselves feel better.

And there certainly ARE many girls who enjoy being chased, without necessarily liking the guy who’s chasing them enough to allow themselves to “be caught.”

In a sense, separating her from her pack of friends makes it easier for both of you, and it can serve as a valuable test. Meaning if she’s flirting with you and sending you very positive signals, including kino, but she absolutely refuses to be separated from her friends, then she may indeed be running some game on you just to get the attention.

This is what makes “nightclub game” so difficult. Many girls go to places like that for attention, and purposely NOT to hook up some guy.

How can you tell the difference? One way is to simply number close her in front of her friends. Don’t try isolate.

Just tell her you think she’s cute, you think that she’s got a decent personality, and you’d like to get to know her better, but you don’t want to ruin “girls night out.” This will force her to show, through her actions, whether she’s really into you or just playing you for your attention.

It will also demonstrate your confidence, as most guys would be terrified to close in any way in front of all her friends, who are watching you (and secretly hoping you go down in flames, as it will make them feel better).

Will this always work? You won’t usually get a number this way, but the numbers you DO get will generally be pretty solid.

You’ve shown a lot of confidence. She’s given you her number in front of her friends, so chances are she’s not blowing you off.

Of course, to make it easy, you really have to NOT CARE if she gives you her number or not. Which means it’s a good idea it always be talking to cute girls, whenever you have a chance.

Girlfriend Generator

How To Erase Emotional Sore Spots

Mental Time Travel

Some people have injuries that never really heal.

I had a bad case of achilles tendonitis a couple decades ago. So bad that I had to get a cortisone injection right into the tendon.

Really, really painful. But a couple hours later, the pain pretty much went away.

There I was, thinking I was cured, and a older friend of mine casually mentioned, “You know that’s not ever going to go away, right?”

I had no idea what he meant, but now I do. Every time you get tendonitis, and it heals, the tendons can sometimes calcify, meaning they turn from tendon to bone. This is to strengthen the tendon, but it also makes it a bit less flexible, which can lead to later injury.

Now, much later, I need to spend a lot more time stretching than I used to.

That’s the trouble with these types of injuries. They are kind of a one way street. Other injuries, broken bones, etc, can heal pretty well. So there’s almost no trace later on. (I’ve had that happen to me as well).

Of course, if I could go back in time, and stretch out a lot more before working out, I would. Back when I was a young dumb high school kid. I thought I was indestructible. I even ran a marathon in high school, and spent maybe ten minutes stretching out before.

Many of us also have emotional injuries. And like physical injures, we just assume that’s part of life. We’ve got these hidden “blind spots” that we don’t really understand.

Somebody hits one by accident (or on purpose of they’re really evil) and it hurts like hell.

Luckily, these CAN be fixed.

In fact, there’s a way you can go back in time, and rewrite your history so the original cause is erased.

Kind of like if I went back in time and spent a LOT more time stretching. I wouldn’t need to worry about popping my achilles today!

The truth is the way we interpreted those events before. Luckily, our memories are squishy enough so that we can rewrite the way we perceived things.

And once you start doing that, you’ll see they’re all based on the same “core” set of fears of blind spots.

Get rid of the initial cause, and everything becomes easier.

All the things you do that cause anxiety, sadness, depression, worry, etc., can be obliterated.

Blasted away for good.

Leaving you free to do and get whatever you want.

And NOBODY will be able to “push your buttons” again.

Get Started:

Emotional Freedom

How To Build Relationships That Don’t Crash And Burn

Slow Down!

Once there was a kid who was studying the difference between theory and reality. So he asked his dad what the difference was. His dad told him they’d do an experiment.

First, they asked the Mom if she’d sleep with the mailman for ten million dollars. At first she was a bit put off, but then when she realized how close they were to being bankrupt, she said she’d probably do it.

Then they asked the kid’s older sister (a college student) the same question, only about the video game geek who lived next door. Again, she hesitated, but gave the same answer.

“You see,” said the dad. “That’s the difference between theory and reality. In theory, we’re a couple of millionaires, but in reality, we live with a couple of sluts!”

Yuck Yuck.

The difference between theory and reality when meeting girls (not sluts) for long term relationships is basically the same. In theory, it’s pretty easy. Choose the kind of girl you want, figure out a way to sort for those characteristics, and keep meeting girls until you find her.

In reality, it’s pretty tough. Especially when sex gets involved. Men are hard wired to hang on to any warm body that they are having regular sex with.

Even if you have rock solid criteria, once you start getting physical, it’s hard to stick to your criteria. Those emotional feelings that come with sex are so powerful it’s hard to resist.

It’s like your inner caveman is a master hypnotist who convinces you she’s the perfect girl you’ve been looking for all along.

Which is why I’d recommend NOT sleeping with any girl unless you are pretty certain she ALREADY passes a lot of your criteria.

Which means you’ve got to HAVE some criteria.

Now, what those are is up to you, but you should at least come up with some basics. College or no college, politics, religion, how she feels on certain issues.

Remember, any girl you get down with is going to feel good. But once those good feelings vanish, if the both of you don’t have a good reason to stick around, you won’t.

This is why relationships can crash and burn even when they started so hot and heavy.

So do yourself a favor. Take some time, before you go out again, to figure out what kind of characteristics you’d like in your “dream girl.”

Not only will this make it less likely to get burned, but it will also give you a lot more confidence.

Since you won’t be hoping to be accepted by every hottie you see. You’ll have the mind of a sorter, instead of a beggar. Which will make you much more attractive.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

What Kind Of Movie Is Your Life?

Your Epic Hero’s Journey

I like watching movies. It’s one of the ways I like to “turn off my brain” and relax.

Some movies are really good, I can watch them over and over again.

Some moves are pleasant to watch, but I wouldn’t want to see them again.

I also like reading novels. I’ve noticed the same thing. There’s a few, really good novels that I read every few years.

People have been telling stories, in one form or another, for as far back as humans have been writing down history.

Interesting thing is that the same story structures keep popping up in various cultures.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m watching a good movie, sometimes I imagine myself in the lead role. How I’d respond to the situation, what I may do differently.

They say a good writer can come up with a character the audience can sympathize with. Meaning we watch the guy or girl and we root for them. If we can imagine ourselves in their shoes, the writer has done a good job.

One common “feeling” when watching movies is being uplifted, inspired, motivated.

Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotist) knew that stories were the most powerful way to quickly and permanently affect change in the lives of his patients.

He wasn’t one of those, “And how do you feel about that? What do you think that means?” type of therapist.

He was a “Hmm. Interesting. That reminds me of a story. Once upon a time…” type of therapist.

Sure, stories can kill time.

But they can also do a lot more.

One type of movie that generally gets slammed by critics, even though people enjoy the movie, are “feel good” movies. These are the movies where there’s never any question the good guys are going to win. There’s not much conflict, no real bad guys, just a happy adventure where the good guys have a good time and a few laughs.

While they feel good, they don’t really inspire anything.

It’s like eating something really sweet, with no nutritional value. Tastes good, but that’s about it.

On the other hand, movies that send us through the ringer are the ones we like. When we really don’t know what’s going to happen. When we really are relieved when the good guys win.

Which do you think is a more appropriate metaphor for life? Not just life in general, but your life?

A sappy, smiley, skip through the colorful meadow? Everything works out?

Or an epic adventure, where the hero’s got to dig deep and put it all on the line?

Since this is YOUR life, and YOU are the hero, what do you want?

Snappy theme songs and happy faces?

Or you do you want to get out there and slay some frikkin dragons?

Get Going:

Mind Persuasion

How To Get Flake Proof Numbers

Always Be Testing

One very crucial skill to have when meeting girls for potential relationships is to test their attraction. Most guys blaze full speed ahead, not really knowing one way or the other.

This tends to get a lot of false positives. Meaning he’s over there chatting her up, she’s not really interested, and he doesn’t really notice. So he number closes, and she gives him the number just to get rid of him. Then he thinks he’s succeeded, but in reality he’s got a very low probability candidate. He calls her, she blows him off, and he gets angry and vents online about how all women are flakes and not to be trusted.

Sound familiar?

All this can be avoided with some simple testing. That way, you KNOW she’s interested in you before you ask for the number. Now, some people say that asking for her number is the ultimate test, but this will get you a lot of false numbers. It’s WAY too easy to simply give a guy a number and then later blow him off, or string him along.

Now, most guys don’t get this, but when a girl strings a guy along, she’s really just not assertive enough to say no. She’s hoping he’ll get the hint, but he thinks he’s still got a chance. This, of course, leads to further misunderstandings.

Anyhow, how do you test?

Many ways. Kino is one way. You simply touch her on an appropriate place, like the shoulder of forearm, and see how she responds. If she recoils in horror, or freezes, she’s not into you. If she opens up slightly, or even touches you back within a minute or so, that’s a pretty clear sign.

Another way is to close off rapport slightly, by switching from matching body language to mismatching body language. If she follows you, she’s into you. If she doesn’t, she’s not.

Another way is to take her to another location, within the same establishment. Like if she’s in a bookstore, take her over to show her your favorite photography book. If you’re in a club, take her to a different place. If she follows without hesitation, she’s into you. If she mentions her friends or anything, she’s probably not.

Now, if she’s not clearly into you, what you do next is up to you. You can back off and try to build more attraction, if you think you’re close. Or you can simply excuse yourself and go talk to somebody else.

But if you practice this, you’ll definitely start getting a much higher quality of phone numbers.

Girlfriend Generator

Rediscover Your Inner Hero

Awaken Your Genius

A long time ago, you were an absolute genius.

You looked out into the world, with nothing but excitement and curiosity.

You had no idea what was out there, only that you wanted to find out.

And the more you found out, the more you wanted to find out.

A perfect balance between means and ends. The means of getting out there was an end in and of itself, but not so much that you forgot about the ends.

You enjoyed the process, but not so much you were content to run around in circles.

You wanted to get somewhere. Then that end, that thing you were going after, was merely a small step to a larger goal. Something you sort of knew about, but not really.

The more you achieved, the more you wanted to achieve, and the more you needed to learn.

A perfect balance of learning, achieving, appreciating, and wanting more, and having the confidence, curiosity, drive and pure love for the whole process to keep you moving forward.

Then something happened. Learning stopped being so easy and natural, and started becoming frustrating, and sometimes scary.

The results were good, but not nearly as good as before.

Why?

Instead of YOU choosing them, these “results” were chosen for you.

Not only that, if you didn’t go after them the way THEY they told you to, it made you less and less excited, and more and more anxious, nervous, and frustrated.

Why does this happen?

Why do we come into this world, filled with so much love, appreciation and desire only to have it slowly and meticulously pounded out of us?

Is the world evil?

Were we put here to suffer?

I think you know the answer.

In those quite moments of inner peace, those fleeting moments of clarity, you KNOW why you are here.

You might not give it name, or words. But you know. Deep down, you know.

Your purpose is to remember who you are.

To find that inner explorer, the fearless discover of the world around you.

Perhaps you knew this before you came here.

That only that small, brief taste of your true potential would be enough.

Enough to launch you into your life’s mission to discover your true purpose.

To not only rediscover who you are, but to maximize your ability to share your gifts with the world.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion