Category Archives: Uncategorized

How To Stop Agonizing Over Your Crush

Find Somebody Who Likes You As Much As You Like Them

How To Switch Your Interests

One thing humans have a hard time doing is predicting their instincts. This is something Mother Nature was very, very clever about when she set them up. Sure, we all have a raw desire to eat, for example, but we also have a huge range of things that can satisfy that hunger.

Even if you have a specific desire for a cheeseburger, for example, you won’t starve if you can’t find one. There’s plenty of other things that can fit the bill. Or imagine being really thirsty. Sure, you may have a hankering for red Gatorade, but if they don’t have it at your local 7-11 you won’t die of thirst. You’ll happily drink another flavor or even (gasp!) water.

Imagine if your friend invited you to a dinner party. Would your presence be contingent on what they were serving? Not likely.

This is true for all instincts, especially sexual or romantic desire. That’s the strongest.

However, if it seems easy to switch a pizza for a cheeseburger, even when you’ve had your heart set on pizza, why is it so hard to stop pursuing any particular girl when she’s simply not into you?

The Internet is filled with guys and gals DESPERATE to make that “one person” like them.

However, if you step back, the process is the same. Before they met that person, they had a “raw instinct” or desire to meet somebody. Then they met that person and they were close enough. So now all their energies are focused on that “one person.” 

But consider this. You’re friend tells you he’s having chicken burritos for dinner, and invites you over. You’re fantasizing about chicken burritos all week. But then you show up, and he’s got beef stew instead. Will you pout, and refuse to eat? Will you feel like you’re friend has tricked you? No. You may say something, but you’ll eat the beef stew, and probably enjoy it.

So why can’t we switch our romantic interests as quickly as we can switch our food interests?

It all comes down to our ancient brains. Food was always just around the corner. And built deeply into our collective experience is that there’s plenty of different kinds of food. So we KNOW on a deep, instinctive level, that if we don’t get the particular food we’re after, they’ll be a suitable replacement sooner or later.

But with romantic interests, it’s a LOT different. For most of our history, most people only had a couple chances in their entire lives to hook up.

So we were programmed to see those few chances as DO OR DIE on a deep, instinctive level. That’s why when you’ve got your sites set on your crush, it’s nearly IMPOSSIBLE to forget about them and find somebody else.

But here’s the thing. If you literally FORCE yourself to interact with other people, you WILL find somebody that will replace them in your mind.

This is simply a matter of overriding unconscious instincts and programming with conscious thinking and behavior.

This is the stuff civilization is made of. This is what civilized people do.

If you simply make it a habit, make it part of who you are, to interact with girls (or guys) on a regular basis. You will be a lot less likely to get messed up emotionally by a crush that doesn’t return the affection.

Here’s a step by step plan that will help:

Where Will Your Journey Take You?

Your Path is Waiting

Discover And Define Your Purpose

They say the biggest migration in human history was the California gold rush.

Countless people from the East Coast of the United States moved to the West Coast, when gold was discovered in 1849.

Now, that is a long journey. One a lot of people didn’t make. And the ones who were successful didn’t all find huge golden nuggets.

But there’s something with humans that gets us going on long journeys. So long as we believe there’s something at the end, we’ll get moving.

Some believe this exists on a very deep and subconscious level. Previous human migrations were based on massive climate change. Those that had the desire to uproot and move survived. Those who were content to sit around and wait to see how things played out didn’t.

Today, we still have the deep urge. Only it’s not always an urge to move physically. But it’s there.

Learning, creating, finding new ways to express ourselves.

If we don’t have SOME form of forward momentum, it’s easy to feel lost, stuck and even like there’s “no point.”

Especially today, when good jobs are vanishing faster than ice cubes on a summer sidewalk, it’s hard to find your place.

The good news is that any kind of forward momentum will help. Any kind of small project, exercise program, personal financial goal is better than just sitting around waiting for something to happen.

You were put here to do something great. The purpose of your life is to find out what that is.

Nobody is going to tell you. Nobody is going to hold your hand. Nobody is going to show you the way.

It’s scary, it’s risky, and it’s anything but guaranteed.

But taking bold action in the face of uncertainty is the very juice of life. The reward wouldn’t be so sweet if it was easy.

Since you’re reading this now, you must have SOME idea of your life’s dreams. Your purpose.

Have you started?

Far into the future, when you’ve long passed, what will you be remembered for? What will your contribution be?

What will be your life’s masterpiece?

You are the Hero of your life.

Choose your Journey, and get started:

How To Detach From Outcome

Do You See What I See?

Helpful But Vague Advice

One of the pieces of advice often given to guys who want to do better with girls is to “detach from outcome.”

This is pretty good advice for pretty much any kind of performance. If you’re too worried about the results, the additional stress and anxiety will mess up your behavior.

Paradoxically, the less you’re concerned with the outcome, the more likely you are to achieve it.

However, this is one of those catch-22’s. It’s nearly impossible to detach from the outcome if you don’t have any experience in getting it.

For example, if you’ve never gotten a phone number from a girl, and you ask somebody, it’s going to be very, very hard not to be nervous.

On the other hand, if you’ve gotten hundreds of numbers, it’s a lot easier to not care too much if the girl you’re currently talking to is going to give you her number.

It seems that in order to detach from the outcome, you first have to achieve the outcome a bunch of times. It doesn’t take much to see this can quickly turn into a recursive loop of insanity, keeping you stuck over in the shadows, while all the other guys are having all the fun.

What’s the answer?

Instead of detaching all the way from the outcome, simply pull back a bit. For example, if you want to get the number, set that as your intention, and then forget it. Then consciously think of all the things you would need to do anyway, to get the number, and focus on those. 

Like walking up to her, talking to her, making her smile and laugh. Lose yourself fully in the process. Enjoy the process. Make that your “intermediary outcome.”

See your main outcome of getting her number as comprised of a bunch of intermediary outcomes right after another.

If you are terrified of talking to her, focus on just walking up. Enjoy that process. Do it a few times until you build up a memory of getting that outcome, and then move on to the next.

Walk up and say hi, and then go somewhere else. Once you’ve got plenty of THAT experience, start an actual conversation.

Sounds like a long time, right?

Well, consider this. Most normal guys NEVER get much better at talking to girls than they were in high school. They may find themselves DECADES later still struggling with the same issues.

If you took your time, planned on a few months of just pure practice, and forgot about any outcome, you’d improve a LOT quicker.

This will help:

Girlfriend Generator

The Happy Popcorn Seller

Easy Money

People Want To Give You Money

When I was in high school I had a lot of retail jobs, usually related to some kind of food.

Selling popcorn at the movies, selling pizzas at a pizza shop, working the counter in various fast food places.

I always liked the fast pace, but what I enjoyed most was interacting with people.

Everybody’s happy when they’re about to eat something. They’re happy to be paying for something that’s going make them feel good.

Especially when I worked at the movies. People buying popcorn on a Friday or Saturday night before seeing the latest blockbuster were always in a good mood.

The conversation was just long enough to exchange smiles, a couple of “thank you’s” and then on to the next person.

This is the kind of transaction people overlook when they say “money is evil.”

Money is just energy. It’s how you use it that can be evil. It certainly doesn’t have to be.

Nor does wanting more money, regardless of how  much you’ve got.

Storing up potential energy for the future is a good thing. It’s even programmed into animals who hibernate.

When they are in “collection mode,” they don’t get angry at each other.

“Hey! Look at that greedy squirrel! Doesn’t he have ENOUGH nuts already? Sheesh! The nerve of some rodents!”

They are too busy getting as much as they can, to survive the long cold winter.

Humans are the same way. We have ZERO idea what future will be like. Yet we have this unique capacity to look out into the future and plan for what we think might happen.

So we store up as much “energy” as we can, which is our case, is money.

The more we have, the better we feel about being able to handle ANYTHING that comes our way.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Nothing evil about it. It’s only evil if you do evil things to get money.

So long as you get it “correctly,” there’s nothing to worry about.

How do you do that?

By providing value, real value to others. Just like selling popcorn at the movies.

Provide value that they’ll be happy to pay for.

The more you can do that, the more you’ll get paid.

Right now, you have an incredible amount of learning capacity. There are literally endless amounts of skills and methods you can discover that will help you deliver MORE value to others, and get paid MORE in the process.

The world is huge, and people’s needs are endless.

No matter WHAT you are capable of now, there’s people out there that need it. And are willing to pay for it.

And the more you increase what you’re capable of delivering, the more you’ll receive.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

Secrets Of Social Confidence

No Need For Tricks

No Need For Tricks

Many guys would pay a lot of good money to learn the secret of attracting women. Like if there was some magical combination of words or behaviors that would get a girl turned on.

When people started combining the idea of covert hypnosis and seduction, a lot of people made a lot of money. The idea of walking up to a girl and telling her some story which sounds normal, but is really turning her into a raving nymphomaniac, is something guys would pay THOUSANDS of dollars for.

And to be sure, if you did have enough covert hypnosis skills, you certainly could do that.

But here’s the thing. Deep inside most desires to do something like that, is a desire to “shortcut” the system.

Meaning the traditional way of getting a girl is pretty simple. Walk up to and talk to a lot of people. Not only girls, but pretty much everybody. In fact, if you made it habit of being a social, outgoing person, it would soon be second nature.

This is pretty terrifying to many guys. So they buy courses and go to seminars in hopes of shortcutting the system. They figure if they only learn some secret weird trick (or set of weird texts) they’ve only got to talk to one or two girls.

Unfortunately, any kind of system that is based on human communication can ONLY be vague at best. The best hypnotists in the world only have their level of skill because they’ve been practicing for YEARS on real people, in real situations.

No matter what you’re trying to learn, sales, covert hypnosis, pick up, being a stand up comedian, it’s simply going to take a lot of practice. There’s simply no way to shortcut the process.

So here is the good news.

If you accept the above as valid, then you don’t really need to learn ANY seduction or pickup technology.

The most fundamental human skill is communication. The more you communicate, the better you’ll get at it. There’s no need to memorize patterns or study “alpha male” behavior or anything else.

You’ve already got the skills programmed into your DNA to be a charismatic speaker. In front of one person, or in front of many people.

All you’ve got to do is practice.

Start talking to people. Realize that if you want to be good with the ladies, you’ll need to be the kind of guy who’s comfortable talking to anybody, anywhere, any time.

Sure it may be scary at first. But stop and consider what will happen when you DO become ultra comfortable with the ladies.

You will lose ALL social fear. Asking your boss for a raise, cold calling people on the phone, anything you want to do, that involves talking to people, will become natural and easy.

Isn’t that worth taking some time to practice?

Start slow, and build your skills over time.

This will show you how:

Girlfriend Generator

The Most Important Skill Of All

Delayed Gratification

Save It For Later

There’s a lot of skills you can develop if life.

Some are pretty specific, and not very transferable. Meaning if you learn them for a particular job, you might not be able to use them again, especially if they are for a specific machine for a specific purpose.

On the other hand, some skills are very useful, and can come in handy pretty much everywhere.

These are more like “life skills” that “job skills.”

Many of these life skills are very much preferable than job skills even to employers.

But beyond that, having a good set of life skills will, obviously, make life a lot easier.

What skills are these?

There are the obvious ones, like conversational skills, assertiveness, self confidence, a sense of humor, listening ability etc.

Then there are some skills that are related to financial matters, like understanding how credit and interest rates work.

There’s one skill, however, that can pretty much trump all of them.

Because the more you have of this particular skill, the easier the rest of those life skills be will be to learn and demonstrated.

What skill is this?

The ability to delay gratification. Or in broader terms, to look at the big picture, time wise.

Many of us are so focused on the here and how, it’s hard to see how our actions will play out a couple of days or weeks into the future.

Scientists and economists tell us that one thing that makes us human is our ability to look into the future, and plan for it.

All the other animals on Earth simply live in the present, driven by instincts.

And to an extent, many of us do that as well.

It’s certainly easy, being bombarded by all kinds of advertisements and slogans that are designed to trigger our instinctive mind, rather than our rational mind.

Luckily, we all have the ability to stop and use our conscious minds. To think about what we’re doing today, and how it will resonate far out into the future.

This will help us NOT do things we shouldn’t do, and it will give us the will to do what we know needs to be done.

It can also help us look past any social fears that exist in the present, and see them in the context of what we’re building with our lives.

Ultimately, it’s up to you. You can live on autopilot, focusing only on satisfying those ancient instincts, or you can create something more.

Create a huge dream for your life. Close your eyes and visualize it. See it way out there in the future. See how every small step you take today can either make it happen, or keep it from happening.

This Will Help:

Prosperity Generator

Don’t Argue With Her Unconscious

Roll With The Punches

Roll With The Punches

There’s a lot of misconceptions about what women want.

Often times somebody will proclaim they’ve finally uncovered what women really want. But then you find out it’s because they’ve done a survey. This should tell you right away they have no idea what they are talking about.

Why?

First, realize that attraction is not a choice. What women are attracted to is based on subconscious instincts that they themselves rarely understand.

This is hard to understand from a guy’s perspective. There’s a clear and obvious set of observable indicators of what generally peaks a guys interests. So when any guy describes what is attractive, it’s pretty simple. If a girl is hot, she’s hot.

But since girls are not as attracted to looks as guys are, it’s hard to put their finger on what gets them going.

Here’s another example.

Everybody likes food. Everybody likes slightly different food. Sometimes you want pizza, sometimes you want steak and lobster, sometimes you want something exotic.

It all depends on your mood. If somebody asked you, “What kind of food do you find delicious?” You might come up with an answer that sounded good.

But if you were walking into a restaurant and saw some food you’d never seen before, you may suddenly decide this was your favorite dish of all time.

You simply cannot objectively decide or measure or plan what kind of food you think is “delicious.”

When it comes to being attracted to guys, on a deep level, women are in the same situation.

They simply can’t predict or plan or consciously predict who they’ll find attractive.

Sure, they might give an answer that “sounds good.” But just like in the food example above, that’s going to go out the window when they see somebody who REALLY gets them going.

Does this mean it’s completely hopeless? Does this mean there’s nothing you can do?

Yes and no.

No if you’ve got your eyes on ONE particular girl. If you’ve tried to create attraction and have failed, there’s really not much you can do.

Imagine having a dinner party and cooking some food. But then your guests don’t really like it. Do you think you could “make them like it” by changing your clothes, or putting different music on in the background? Obviously not.

But this is what guys try to do when they try to get that “One Girl” to like them. I hate to break it to you, but if she doesn’t like you, she’s not likely going to. Unless you’re willing to totally change your personality and behavior.

On the other hand, this is great news.

Why?

Because you can generally figure out if a girl likes you or not pretty quickly. And instead of wasting your time trying to get “one girl” to like you, you can spend your precious time finding “a girl” that likes you.

And once you find her, all you’ve got to do is be yourself, and she’ll like you.

The real you.

Your Pre-Built Dream Machine

Dream Machine

Unleash Your Genius Entrepreneur

What does it mean to be an entrepreneur?

Many people imagine some kind of well funded inventor launching the next billion dollar start up.

Others may imagine some guy in his garage searching for that one invention that will save the world.

In reality, EVERYBODY (including YOU) is an entrepreneur.

What’s the structure of an entrepreneur? They think of something that may make them some money. They take action based on this idea. They get feedback from the marketplace. They adjust their ideas based on this feedback and try again.

This is the same process behind all human action.

You take a quick inventory of your state, right now.

Then you imagine a future that is better than now. Then you take action to attempt to create that future. We get a result, which gives us feedback. If we’ve improved our state, great. If not, we take action again.

The human mind-body-system is hard wired to operate on this behavioral structure. From the most basic movements, like shifting in your seat, to creating your biggest dreams, it’s the same.

Sometimes it’s unconscious, sometimes it’s conscious.

Sometimes is very small, and the outcome is almost guaranteed. Sometimes the actions are HUGE, and the absolute best we can do is move step by step toward our goals. Getting valuable feedback along the way.

Sometimes it CAN feel very magical. These are times when we’ve taken HUGE leaps, but they were unconscious, so we really didn’t know we were taking leaps.

There are ultra lucky people who live their whole lives like this. They never really try, they just do what comes natural, and get paid, get famous, and take their places in the history books.

The biggest mistake you can make is in thinking that if it’s NOT going to happen naturally, (or magically) that it’s not going to happen.

Since this strategy is build into every single human, all you’ve got to do is bring it up to the conscious level.

Choose your dreams, and then do something. Anything. Did you get closer? Great! Do more!

Did you move further away? No problem! Do something different!

However, this ONLY works if you CHOOSE your goals. Own your decisions. If you wait for it to happen magically, it most likely won’t. The dream fairy’s not going to show up to hand you the goods.

But if you own your life, own your behaviors, and own all the feedback, you can create anything you want.

ANY THING.

Get started:

Prosperity Generator

How To Practice Social Skills

Small Steps

Don’t Go Too Far Too Fast

Most people know there’s inner game, and outer game.

Inner game is based on your beliefs, what you are capable of, and how you feel about yourself with respect to the rest of the world.

Outer game is your actual skills. This can, of course, apply to almost any kind of skill. Martial arts, music, you name it. You can play the piano beautifully in your own home, for example, but collapse into a pile of mush in front of others.

The good news is about your social skills is that you can build up both inner game and outer game at the same time.

Now, most guys don’t consider game as something you can “practice” and “improve” like any other skill. If you were a martial artist, for example, you wouldn’t ONLY practice whenever you had a match. That would be silly.

Instead, when you consider all the time actually performing any kind of martial arts, 99% is training, and only 1% of it is in the actual ring in a competition.

What would happen if you practiced your social skills the same way?

Meaning that most of the time, you practiced, instead of doing it “for real.” Now, many guys say it’s practice, but that’s only after they get blown out and don’t get what they want.

But what happens when you consider it practice before the interaction begins?

First, you’d have to decide exactly what you’re practicing. Eye contact, conversations, number closing, whatever.

Once you’ve got that established, you ONLY practice THAT. Nothing else.

This is something many guys have a hard time getting. As soon as they find themselves in a conversation, they go as far as they can until THEY get blown out, or THEY blow the other person out.

But what happens if you ONLY practiced up to the level of comfort, and nothing more?

Until you are absolutely and completely confident starting conversations, and can do so without a second thought, ONLY practice starting conversations.

As soon as you start one, exit (politely), and look for the next one.

You may find that this skyrockets your social skills and game in a VERY short period of time.

Since you’ll be building up your experience of positive experiences, that ENDED on a positive note, rather than you or them getting blown out, your confidence would soar.

Having a step by step plan can help.

Try this one:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Generate Momentum

Start Slow And Keep Pushing

Start Slow And Keep Moving

A lot of people feel lost these days.

Meaning they’re working some of job they don’t really like, earning income that’s just barely enough, and not sure of the future.

No question, this is a crappy situation.

A few decades ago, all you had to do was show up, do a good job, and you’d get paid.

Not so much any more.

More than ever, it’s up to you to make your own way. This ain’t fair, but it’s the way it is.

Luckily, there’s plenty of opportunities. All kinds of ways to freelance, start your own business from scratch, and get something going on the side.

The secret of creating your own thing is that the process is the exciting part.

Once you make that first dollar, you’re hooked. That feeling of creating something with only your thoughts and the physical tools you have right now is a pretty fantastic one.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that they’ve got to hit it big right out of the gate, but few people EVER find success this way.

Even the greats from history took time.

But once you get started, something else will happen.

That job that sucks so much won’t suck so bad any more. Because it won’t be the ONLY thing you’ve got going. 

Instead of thinking about it as your ONLY hope for survival, you’ll suddenly see it as a temporary “crutch” to help pay the bills until you get your own thing going.

Even if you just spend a few minutes a day on your “project,” your mind will shift.

Your spare time will be spent not with worry, but with hope and expectation for a better future.

You’ll actually wake up in the middle of the night with ideas. Ideas you can put into action.

All it takes is that first step. Then another. Then another.

Then you’ll have something few people ever experience.

Self generated momentum. Created by you and sustained by you. To create your future.

Once you get a taste of your independence, you’ll never look back.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator