Category Archives: Uncategorized

Quickly Accelerate Your Social Confidence

From Zero To Social Hero

How To Build Social Momentum

Momentum is an incredible thing.

Once you get going, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

This is true for behavior as well as physical momentum, but for completely different reasons.

With physical momentum, you’re relying on Newton’s Second Law (bodies in motion tend to stay in motion). Once you get something going, all you need to do is put in enough energy in the system to overcome the natural resistance, like friction, and you’re good.

If you reduce friction, you can coast for quite a while.

Similarly, when you’re doing some kind of behavior, it’s much, much easier to keep going, than it is to get going.

Especially if you’re doing something that involves uncertainty.

But unlike pure physics, the longer you’re going, the easier it gets.

Why?

Because one of the biggest anxieties when interacting with others is you never know what’s going to happen. Usually, when you do something the first time, (like ride a motorcycle or use a pogo stick) it’s kind of shaky the first couple of times. But once you get used to it, you can pretty much do it without thinking.

But talking to people isn’t like that. Every single time is different.

So the more you talk to people, the easier it gets for a couple of reasons. One is you’re have more experience with a wide diversity of people. For this reason, it’s crucial to talk to as many different people as you can. 

If you’re trying to build up your confidence in talking to a girl of a specific type, talking to regular people will help. It will build in your deep understanding that no matter WHO you talk to, most people have a LOT in common. So when you do see that girl, you’ll see her more a human than an imaginary perfect angel. 

The second reason it will keep getting easier, is you’ll build up your experience of handling uncertainty.

Sure, it’s never going to be completely comfortable doing things where you don’t know what’s going to happen.

But the more you can prove to yourself that you can handle any conversation with anybody, no matter what happens, the fact that you DON’T know what’s going to happen will bother you less and less.

So if you want to get better at talking to gorgeous girls, talk to people. All people. Everywhere. Start slow and work your way up.

Anytime you see an opportunity, exchange a few words, and see what happens.

It will make MANY THINGS in life much, much easier.

Not just girls.

Generate Prosperity Momentum

Picture

Positive Feedback Loops

One of the coolest things to experience is a positive, self-sustaining loop.

These happen a lot, and unfortunately for some, we tend to remember and focus more on the “negative” self sustaining loops than the positive.

Since most people have some kind of experience with dieting and losing weight, that’s a good example of both.

A positive self sustaining loop would be when you start small, build up some momentum, and then find yourself six or so months later actually looking forward to exercising. You start needing less and less willpower to avoid those foods you know you should.

On the other hand, eating the wrong foods tends to make you feel lousy. And when we feel lousy, we tend to turn to quick “pick me ups” which tend to more of the wrong foods. And the cycle continues.

I’m sure you can identify cycles like this in all areas of life. They’re part of nature, and even inorganic systems like whirlpools and sinkholes.

In our own lives, one common difference is our time frame. When we’re in a “negative” self fulfilling loop, our minds tend to focus only a day or two ahead of time. When we feel like eating that “bad” food for example, we are intently focused on the present, without really focusing on the outcome a couple days later.

On the other hand, when we find ourselves in those wonderful “positive” self fulfilling loops, we tend to look at the long term. Because the long term looks GOOD. 

That affects our “now” decision making process, which helps us to make decisions in the “now” that are much better for our future.

It’s no secret that people that do well in business are VERY good at this. The ability to think about what they are doing NOW, and see how it will affect their lives years in the future.

Now, I know how incredibly hard it is when you’re smack dab in the middle of one of those “negative” self reinforcing loops. It can seem impossible to get out.

The trick is to start small. Very small. So small you won’t even notice. The secret of building a HUGE life of massive prosperity is not on gigantic thing you do.

It’s a gigantic COLLECTION of very small things you do. Things that will snowball into HUGE things out into your future.

All rich people have this in common. They all started small. (A surprisingly small number of rich people inherited their wealth). Then by slowly building that ever important momentum, they turned those small daily things into a life of HUGE success.

YOU can do the same. All humans can. We all have the capacity. And it only takes a small shift in thinking to kick it off.

If you start today, you’re future “you” will thank you.

Here’s How:

Prosperity Generator

Continuous Improvement

You're Not A Ninja Yet!

Keep Getting Better

Here’s a question for those of you who study martial arts. And even if you don’t it will still make sense.

Suppose you do the work required to earn your black belt. Are you done? Can you effectively defend yourself against pretty much anybody?

What about in tournaments? Obviously not. At the tournament level, getting a black belt is like your entry fee. There’s guys in tournaments who are way ahead of just a black belt. 

How about this, suppose you got a black belt, and were decent enough to win some local tournaments. Then you took a few years off. Could you jump right back in the ring and compete? Even if you stayed in shape, if you didn’t practice those specific skills, you wouldn’t do very well.

Most guys recognize this as obvious, with any sport. It takes a while to get to a certain level, and it takes a while to maintain that level.

But when it comes to dating, we suddenly think that we not only don’t need to practice, but all it takes is some kind of minimum understanding of game (no doubt read on blogs or forums) and we think we’re Jedi masters of seduction.

Now, I know that martial arts isn’t the best metaphor for meeting girls. After all, you’re not walking over there to spar. She wants you to succeed just as you do.

No girl wants to reject a guy who’s walking over to talk to her. She’d rather he be the man of her dreams. Or at least the man of the evening.

But the idea of always needing to practice, and always needing to improve yourself IS a good part of the fighting metaphor.

Most guys don’t get this. They assume if they can get laid, then it’s a matter of finding the right girl.

But consider this.

Once you can get laid on a fairly consistent basis, that’s kind of like a black belt. Sure, it’s a good accomplishment you should be proud of.

But it’s only the beginning. There’s ALWAYS a need to improve your fighting skills.

While you may not be fighting against her, you ARE fighting against every other guy she can potentially date.

And sure, if you’re talking to her in a bar surrounded by other goofs, she might see you as a hero.

But as soon as she starts comparing you to other guys, you may not seem like much.

Not fair? No, it’s not. But neither is life.

Everybody’s main objective on planet Earth is to get as much as they can while they’re here, for as little effort as possible. Nobody’s job is to give away stuff for free.

Mother Nature isn’t too concerned with evenly handing out the goodies. She’s not the kind grandma who makes sure all the kids get a piece of candy.

She’s a ruthless ringmaster who let’s us loose an says, “Go!”

And then steps back to watch the fun.

If you don’t step up your game to get the quality girl, and KEEP HER, somebody else will.

Like it or not, that’s the way it goes.

Now are you going to sit there and let all those other goofs get your dream girl?

Up And Down The Hills Of Life

Get To The Bottom and Go Back To The Top

Earn Your Pleasure

I used to love riding up and down hills on my bike.

As I did, I’d always play “Helter Skelter,” by the Beatles, in my mind.

Especially the first part, which goes:

“When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
till I get to the bottom and I see you again…
Yea yea yea…”

I love going up, and I also loved going down. But I also love being up on top, especially if was a particularly good hill with a particularly good view.

Some of my friends would like riding on long, flat spaces. I thought that was pretty boring.

It was easy, as you didn’t have any hills. But you also didn’t get the views, nor the massive speeds you got riding back down.

The fastest I ever clocked was 53 mph, just coasting down this big long hills.

It’s hard to separate out best part, in my mind. All three (the climb, the view, and the ride back down) all have their unique pleasures.

There’s also these trips you can take in famous places, where they haul you and your bike up to the top of a mountain and then let you coast back down. Usually places like Hawaii or Costa Rica or other Island type resort spots with high hills.

I went on a canoe trip like that once. They drove us up river, and then let us ride the current back down for a few days. 

It didn’t take much work, so we just kind of relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

(and drank lots of alcohol!)

Now, that can be fun from time to time, but it’s also pretty boring. Since you didn’t really put in any effort, there’s not much enjoyment you can get out of it.

If you’ve got kids or know anybody that’s got kids, then you know it’s not such a great idea to simply give them whatever the want without the necessary feeling of “earning it,” especially as they get older.

This can create some pretty spoiled kids. (A lot of famous people like that these days…)

What about you? What kind of life do you envision?

A flat, stable ride that’s safe, easy and boring?

Somebody to do all the work, while you get the benefits?

Or the ability to do the work, enjoy the view, AND the ride down?

And then, as Paul screamed, “go back to the top of the slide”?

Your life, your choice.

If you want it safe, it’s easy, but limited.

If you want somebody to do all the work, it’s pretty boring.

But if you want to put in the effort, your life belongs to you. And you’ll get much, much more.

What do YOU want?

Make It Happen:

Prosperity Generator

The Process Of Dating

The Never Ending Process Of Relationship Building

Flow Power

What’s the difference between a process and an outcome?

One way to describe them is that the process is a way to get an outcome. Or you may say that a process is made of many, many outcomes that lead to a greater outcome.

Or you may say that a process is a consistently evolving system based on tons of interdependent variables and feedback loops. An outcome is an event in time or a thing.

Take rain and the weather, for example. The weather is always changing, always in flux, and always feeding back into itself. The amount of variables are few, and are inorganic. Pressure, wind speed, heat, humidity, that’s about it. 

The outcome is the weather event. Rain, snow hail, whatever. Of course, each event, if you drill down into the time span is a process unto itself. The process of rain can cause all kinds of events, or outcomes. And in turn, they themselves are processes that create outcomes.

The weather is the process that creates an outcome of rain. Rain is a process that creates an outcome of wet soil. We soil is a process that leads to mature corn. Mature corn is a process than turns into popcorn. And and on. In reality, there’s not a hard limit between any process, and any outcome.

It all depends on your frame of reference.

One life long process that many guys treat as an outcome is male and female interactions.

Even within a relationship, a happy committed relationship, the process is ALWAYS changing. The needs, wants, desires, subjective beliefs and values of each person are ALWAYS changing.

Once you get past that lovey dovey super sex part, a real relationship takes a ton of work. Real work, not just check-the-boxes-off-a-list work.

That’s why so many relationships fail. Neither person is willing to put in any work after the lovey dovey sex magic ends, and the real give and take begins.

Of course, if all you care about is the lovey dovey super sex part, and you’re happy to be a serial monogamist your entire life, more power to you. Plenty of people are happy with that, men and women.

But if you want something more, you’ve got to understand that ALL aspects of human relationships RARELY leave the process stage.

Unless you’re at a funeral, and your throwing dirt on a dead dude in a box.

So next time your out in a social setting, and you see some girl you’d like to talk to, think of your potential interaction with her as one long process.

Instead of saying, “how can I GET some of that,” which implies you’re going after some static “thing,” think more in process terms.

“How can I create a sustained interaction with that person that will satisfy both of our wants and needs in a way that will make us both better off than we are now?”

Or if that sentence is too long, how about this one:

“I wonder if we can build something together.”

Try this, and see what happens.

The Myth Of Your Potential

Can You Reach The Top?

Was Maslow Mistaken?

What does it mean to be “self-actualized?”

This, of course, comes from Maslow. But how did he come up with the idea, and how did he arrive that now famous pyramid?

If you’ve read about NLP, then you know about “modeling.” It’s the best way to learn something.

It’s how all of us learned to walk, talk, etc. We basically copied those around us.

The original NLP guys basically took this process and modeled how really persuasive people talk and behave. Then they came up with a way to apply this modeling model.

Which is why some call NLP the “study of excellence.” Meaning you see somebody doing what you want, and you simply copy them until you get it right.

And this is precisely what Maslow did.

He chose a lot of high performing individuals of his day, and simply tried to figure out made them tick.

He categorized them based on their level of “performance,” and came up with his “hierarchy.”

At the top, of course, is “self actualization.”

So, what were the people doing whom he labeled as “self actualized?”

Were they meditating in caves? Sitting in the middle of the desert in the lotus position while the rain mysteriously fell around them?

Nope.

They were doing things. Making things. Writing things.

Now, here’s a mind bending question for you.

If you were to go back in time, find one of those “self actualized” people that Maslow found, and asked them these questions:

“Have you learned all you will ever learn? Are your skills as good as they are going to get? Can you now rest, since you’ve reached Nirvana?”

What do you think they would have said?

I’m going to guess that they would have said a big, fat, obvious NO to all those questions.

Whatever project they were working on, I’m sure they knew deep in their bones there was MORE to do. MORE to create.

Think about this statement:

“Reach Your Potential.”

Is that even possible? Once you get to a certain level, then what? Retire down to Florida and drink ice tea?

Nope. Once you get to a certain level, WHATEVER that is, you just reach higher.

The truth is you will ALWAYS be looking to improve yourself, as you should.

Unless, of course, you’re HAPPY where you are now. You DON’T want any more.

Those “self actualized” people were DOING THINGS.

They were creators. Builders. Artists. Scientists. 

What do YOU wan to do?

How To Practice Social Skills

Drill Baby Drill!

How To Consistently Increase Your Skills

Most people have a belief that they’ll be able to “step up to the plate” when the time comes.

When it comes to girls, this is a very convenient lie guys tell themselves. They see a girl across the room they’d like to get to know, but then they feel a bit of anxiety. Since they don’t want to admit to themselves (and most likely can’t) that they’d like to, but they can’t because they’re too afraid, their hamster starts spinning.

They figure out SOMETHING about her that disqualifies her. Then they tell themselves that since she’s not really his type, he won’t bother going over there. This is a very quick self-deception that happens in a couple seconds, before he even knows what’s going on.

The human brain is ultra quick, and ultra sneaky when it comes to protecting the ego.

The the guy says something like, “Well, of course, I’m nervous, but if I ever DO see a girl that’s my type, I’ll have NO PROBLEM walking over there. Until then, I’m a super ninja observer of society.”

Unless you’re dating several super models and you’re super happy with your relationships with females, you’re likely doing this all the time. This is common, and all people do it.

How can you avoid this? Or at least diminish the effect it has on your ability to talk to cute girls you MIGHT find interesting?

Practice.

As important as getting into a decent relationship is, and as dependent on social skills as that is, few people feel the need to “practice” social skills.

But think of something similar, like public speaking. People realize that if they become better and more comfortable at public speaking, they’ll make more money, and have more job opportunities. So they practice.

Just like anything you want to get better at, the more you practice, they better you’ll get.

Why should talking to girls, or people in general, be any different.

How do you practice?

Simply take whatever level you’re good at, and push the comfort zone a bit. Then practice like anything else. Choose 30 minutes, where you’ll do nothing but practice.

Just like you’d spend 30 minutes practicing scales on the piano, or down at the dojo or the gym. You don’t practice the piano or martial arts whenever you have the opportunity, do you? No, you make time to practice. And when you practice, you drill yourself.

Do the same with girls.

Pick something you’d like to get better at. Approaching, opening, flirting, whatever.

Then choose a certain amount of time, every single day, and practice doing that. Only that. Nothing more. Nothing less.

When that (whatever it is) becomes so easy it’s boring, start practicing something a little bit harder.

Einstein’s Secret Weapon

Leverage This Double Edged Sword

Revealed Mysteries Of Mathematics

According to Einstein, what’s the most powerful force in the world?

Compound interest.

There’s a story of a clever scientist who did a job for a foolish yet rich king.

The king asked him how much he wanted in payment, and the scientist proposed this:

Day one you place one grain of rice on a chessboard square. The next day you place two grains on the next chess board square. Then double the rice grains each day until the board is filled.

No problem, said the king, thinking the scientist was an idiot.

64 Days later, the scientist owned the entire kingdom.

Why? If you double each grain of rice, each day, after 64 days, you’d have more rice than exists in the world.

Of course, compound interest can work the other way as well.

If you’ve got credit cards, for example, it doesn’t take long to get into trouble.

Plenty of people get so far in the hole they can barely pay the minimum payment, which amounts to ONLY the interest.

Which means their balance never decreases.

I know these aren’t fun ideas to think about.

Imagine if you were buying a pair of pants, and they didn’t show you the actual price, they showed you the total price after putting in on your credit card and letting the interest going up for a few years!

Why don’t they do this?

Why don’t they teach us about interest rates in school? 

Maybe they don’t want us to know. Maybe they want us to be debt slaves our entire lives.

Here’s something else to consider.

Suppose you increased your skills by a certain percent each year.

This works the same way as numbers, rice grains and money.

Let’s say your level of skill (in any area) was X.

And let’s say you increased your skill by 50% each year.

After the first year, your skill would be 1.5X.

After the second year, your skill would be 2.25X. 

Three years: 3.4X

Four years: 5X

In just four years (I know that seems like a long time) your skills in ANY AREA would be FIVE TIMES what they are now.

Money making skills, relationship building skills, business starting skills.

Maybe THIS is why they don’t want us to learn about compound interest.

Just imagine if you focused on ONE skill for the next five years or so.

What would be able to do then? What would your life look like?

Where would you live? Who would you spend your time with?

What skills do YOU want to learn?

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

How To Radiate Confidence and Attraction

Don't Make This Mistake

Ditch The Nice Guy Routine

One of the most attractive things in a person is congruence. If you want to do better with the ladies, all you’ve got to do is increase your congruence.

What is congruence? Basically it means being your true, honest self. Now, this doesn’t mean blurting out whatever comes to your mind. But it does mean not hiding your emotions, intentions and desires.

Many guys, when talking to girls, tend to hold back. They’re afraid of rejection, afraid of offending her and ruining their chances, or maybe even saying something silly.

So they pretend to be somebody they’re nice. Many guys go too far in the opposite direction. They’re so worried about offending her, that they become overly nice. This is the stereotypical “nice guy” that girls don’t like. In fact, they despise them.

Not because they are mean, or they’d rather date some biker who just escaped from prison. It’s because they don’t trust him. Maybe consciously he seems OK. But on a subconscious level, he’s sending some creepy vibe. Some vibe that says “I’d really like to have sex with you but I’m pretending really hard that I just want to be your friend.”

Sex is natural, normal and healthy. Sexual desire is natural, normal and healthy.

Yea, but what about that time you were checking a girl and she gave you a dirty look?

She gave you a dirty look not because you were checking her out, but because you were checking her out while feeling like you were doing something wrong. You judged yourself before she got a chance to. Since you yourself felt you were doing something wrong, so did she.

That’s why some guys can seemingly get away with murder. They talk raunchy, tell dirty jokes, and have no problem talking about sexual topics.

Since they accept these as normal things, so does she.

She’d LOVE IT if you talked to her like you talk to your buddies. Relaxed, confident, playfully teasing her, and generally  having a good tie.

So, back to that hard to define word, “congruence.”

Simply accept your desires. Don’t be afraid to look at girls, and let them know through your eye contact and self confidence that you like what you see.

Do this, and you’ll be miles ahead of all the other clowns out there.

Make Them Go Crazy For You

All Energy in One Place

Secrets Of Linguistic Congruence

One of the most compelling traits somebody can have is congruence.

This is something you’ve no doubt heard of. But it’s also one of those vague words that’s pretty hard to pin down.

For example, if you were at some seminar listening to some guru speak, and he was going on and on about the importance of “congruence,” everybody would be nodding their heads in agreement.

Only problem is that just like politicians, spitting out some vague, nice sounding words is great, until you need to know exactly what’s being said.

So, what EXACTLY does congruence mean?

Technically, from a purely mathematical standpoint, it means “parallel” or “mirror image.”

On a personal, internal level, it means having all “parts” of you on the same page, or pointing in the same direction.

For example, if part of you wanted to go out, while another part of you wanted to stay home, you could say you were “incongruent” in your plans.

Politicians that say things to get elected, but don’t really believe are “incongruent” in their delivery.

Often times we believe something on one level, but not another. Which means we’re projecting an “incongruent” message without knowing it.

We think we are speaking some truth, but others suspect something’s up.

One way this can present itself is when we’re talking to others, and “pretending” that they are making a good point, or that we understand what they are saying, when we’re really not.

If this happens to us, it’s not a very good feeling. It almost feels as if like somebody’s being just a bit condescending, or they think we’re silly on some level.

The truth is that unless you’re talking to your best friend from kindergarten, with whom you’ve buried bodies and shared a prison cell, you’re going to be incongruent on some level.

This is precisely where ultra charismatic and magnetic people get their energy from. They don’t really HAVE any extra energy.

They’re just taking ALL their energy, and focusing it on whomever they’re speaking with. They can suspend disbelief, they ditch any ideas they have on the subject.

They make the person they are speaking with feel absolutely comfortable sharing their deepest secrets.

Because this is NOT some kind of trick or manipulation. This is genuine, honest, congruent focus on the other person.

Which means they FEEL THIS on a deep level.

And when you can take THEIR ideas, and wrap them in these language patterns, and give them back to them, they will feel even better.

If you want, they’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis