Category Archives: Uncategorized

Everybody Else Is Doing It Wrong

How You Can Easily Do It Right

How You Can Do It Right

Here’s the basic structure of any persuasion. But first, understand one thing. Some, all, or none of these parts are unconscious, and conscious. If you’re persuading something in a pure sales or negotiation session, they will  mostly be conscious. Everybody knows what’s going on.

If you’re creating attraction, most will be unconscious. In an attraction setting, most happen on their own, without either person really knowing what’s going on. That’s why the term “falling in love” is the way it is. We “fall” in love, we don’t “go in love” or “enter in love” or “step into love.” The use of the verb “fall” indicates it’s something that happens without us really knowing what’s going on. Like walking down the street, staring at your iPhone, and falling into a ditch. (Nice metaphor, eh?)

Why is that important? Because any time you use any kind of conscious technology to “force” an unconscious process, there’s all kinds of hidden dangers. Be warned.

Any now, here’s the process that underpins every effective persuasion. (At least ones that don’t come out of the barrel of a gun!)

Rapport

The first step is to create rapport. Get the other person feeling comfortable with you. Get them to let their guard down. Get them to open up and trust. Here’s a secret. If you can do this part well, you’re done. The rest will take care of itself.

Elicit Criteria

This is where you find what’s important to them. If their dreams come true, what would they look like. You’ll know you’ve got rapport when you’re asking them what’s important to them, and they simply won’t shut up. Congratulations!

Leverage Criteria

This is where you show them that what you’ve got is a perfect match for what they want. This when all those crazy language patterns come in. When you can use linguistic technology to show them that their criteria (usually pretty vague) can be found in your products, services, or romantic skills (also usually pretty vague). Here’s a big fat warning: If you can promise them you can satisfy them, and you really can’t, they won’t be happy until you’re dead or in jail. Be careful.

Close

This is you get them to sign the contract, give you their phone number, or go home with you. Here’s another secret. The more you do the previous steps, the easier this part is.

In fact, think of these four steps as a pyramid. The first is the very most important. The next is less important, and so on.

If you do the first really, really well, you don’t need the rest. If you do a pretty good job with the first two, you don’t need the rest, etc.

Here’s another secret. The first two are based only on your abilities to talk to others like a natural, self confident, human being. They have nothing to do with sales skills or seduction skills.

Guess which parts those sales and seduction courses focus on? That’s right. The last two. The two the won’t work for squat if you can’t do the first two.

Now you know why most people suck at sales, and suck at seduction.

They’re doing it wrong.

Do it, and you won’t have any problems. With money, or girls.

How To Cast Magic Spells

Real Magic Is Easy

Secrets Of Magic Words

Lately I’ve been watching the TV show “Supernatural” on Netflix.

It’s about a couple of guys who travel around killing monsters, like vampires, werewolves, demons, etc.

In many episodes, they use ancient “spells” to kill the bad guys.

They’ve got some ancient manuscript, usually written in Latin, and when they read the words correctly, the bad guys vanish. Or as they say in the TV show, they “gank” them.

Plenty of other stories have the same idea.

Secret words, said in the right, will do magic.

It’s no coincidence that the name of these magic collection of words are called “Spells” which is the same word to describe the collection of letters that “spell” a word.

After all, a word conjures up an idea in your head. And when I “spell” a word correctly, I get you thinking of a specific image.

Like when you read the words, “Chocolate sauce,” it creates a completely different image in your mind than if I spell out, “angry beehive.”

If I use a bunch of these correctly “spelled” words in the same direction, I can literally lead your mind where I want it to go.

“Chocolate sauce. Cake. Ice cream. Sweet. Cold.”

You get the idea.

Now, most people don’t sit around and contemplate what goes on when we speak. Most people spit out a bunch of words, or listen to a bunch of words, and then just swap ideas (powered by words) back and forth.

But when put our words together as carefully as we put our letters together when we “spell” words, we come with  ”spells” that creates all kinds of magical ideas in the heads of our listeners.

Done with enough patience, you can get people to ditch lifelong problems, buy million dollar products, and even fall in love.

It’s also no coincidence that the very first book on NLP, which described the absolute power of language, was called “The Structure of Magic.”

Now, that book’s pretty dense, and covers some complicated grammar, straight from Chomsky’s brain.

But if you want to learn the most powerful patterns in a hurry, so you can get out there and start using them (to work your own magic), then I’ve got your back.

This course will cover everything you need to get started.

And it’s only nine bucks.

Check it out:

Covert Hypnosis

Do You Really Want To Chase That One Girl?

Is She Really Worth Your Time, Money and Effort?

Is It Really Worth It?

How do you get a girl to like you?

I get that question a lot. Especially by guys who’ve got this one special girl in mind. Sometimes the one that got away. Sometimes one they’ve never really had a conversation with. 

The truth is there IS no fool proof way to make “a girl” like you. Sure, there are ways you can increase the results you get with girls in general. But a particular girl? There’s really not much. This is despite the endless programs being sold about how to “get your ex back.” 

Now, if your life depended on it, (and often times it certainly feels like it does), then there certainly ARE some things you can try. Things that MAY improve your chances with your “ex.” However, there ARE a lot of factors.

How much the relationship is broken. How long you were together. Whether or not that last time was the very “last straw.” And also, crucially missing from many of these programs, the person you’re trying to “get back.”

Do they have a lot of other options? Are they currently dating somebody else? Do they think of you as the biggest mistake of their lives?

Then there’s the ONE question that most people simply don’t want to ask. That questions those economists (the dismal science) tell us we always need to ask.

At what cost?

Now, most guys will say, “At ANY cost!” Which doesn’t really mean much. Are they willing to give up their life’s savings? Are they willing to get fired from their jobs, become homeless for two years? Are they willing to be in the doghouse for the rest of their lives?

Most guys don’t want to think about this. They want a magic fix. They want to read an ebook and say some magic words over the phone that will fix everything.

Here’s the most important thing. When you think about the REAL costs involved, both short term AND long term, of not only “getting your ex back,” but “getting her to like me,” there’s ANOTHER question to ask.

Once you figure out the TRUE COSTS of getting that to happen, ask yourself this:

What ELSE could I get with those SAME costs?

In economics, they call these “opportunity costs.” Meaning those two years you spend making it up to your ex, you could be meeting and dating TEN WOMEN, all who could end up being BETTER than your ex.

Or you could be focused on your job, so that in those same two years you could be making TEN TIMES as much money, which would allow you a lifestyle that will let you meet HUNDREDS of women you’d never otherwise meet.

So if you’re wondering about that “one special girl,” or “getting your ex back,” ask yourself this:

After considering ALL the costs, and the opportunity costs, is it REALLY worth it?

Something to think about.

Easy Ways To Skyrocket Charisma

Focus On Them, Not You

All About Your Focus

Most people think of charisma as some kind of inborn quality, like height or good looks.

If you have it you’re lucky, if you don’t, then you’re not.

Luckily, this is false. But since charisma is widely misunderstood, it’s not clear to a lot of people how to develop it.

Some people say it’s based on body language, some kind of “sexual magnetism,” or maybe some other voodoo.

But the simplest explanation is charisma is the ability to make people feel good when they are around you.

Now, granted, for some people it’s easier than others. If you’re some gorgeous super model, all you’ve got to do is look at people and smile (a REAL smile) and they’ll feel pretty good. They’ll say things like, “Wow, she really lights up a room!”

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t gorgeous super models.

So how do we normal humans create charisma? How do we make people feel good about being around us?

Give them money!

Just kidding.

The easiest is to simply use our language. Instead of talking about ourselves, and how awesome we are (or how awesome we think we are) we get them talking about THEMSELVES and whatever THEY think is awesome about themselves.

Now, if you walk up to some stranger and say, “Wow, You’re AWESOME!” they’ll think you’re some creepy network marketing goof who just escaped from the loony bin.

But when you talk to them like a normal human, but make your intention to carefully and covertly elicit things about them they enjoy, then you’re in pretty good shape.

And when you combine this with a genuine appreciation for whatever it is they are talking about, you will seem VERY charismatic.

One way to significantly fire this up is to use something called “linguistic presuppositions.”

These are pretty cool language structures that assume certain things are true. Salespeople use them to presuppose things about their products or services. Like they’re popular, worth the money, last a long time, better than the competition, etc.

But when YOU use them to presuppose good things about the person you are talking to, you’ll take your charisma to a very rare level of magnetism.

They won’t know exactly what it is about you, but they’ll LOVE being around you.

To learn how, check this out:

Covert Hypnosis

What Makes A Natural A Natural?

What's The Difference Between Cause and Effect?

Cause vs. Effect

When guys that are naturals easily pick up girls, what’s the driving force? What’s the main ingredient? If you were to reverse engineer the process, which would you think was the most important?

His clothes? His language? His use of humor? His money? The angle at which he approaches her? 

If this is all you were focused on, you’d be missing the big picture. And the main ingredient.

It helps to understand the idea of cause and effect. This is something we all know about, but often times we misunderstand which is which.

We see two things happening, one right after the other. And we naturally assume that which happened first is causing that which happened second. This is a common conclusion, and it’s often very wrong.

Sure, it helped us out back when we were cavemen, but not so much any more. Most things that happen in our modern world are way to complex to be put into simple, cause and effect relationships.

Now, consider the language a natural uses. Is it a cause or an effect? It’s an effect of his inner state. If his inner state is relaxed and confident, he’s going to choose certain words and phrases over certain other words and phrases. He won’t be afraid of telling her certain jokes, or making certain remarks.

Now consider his language and her natural feelings of attraction. If her feelings of attraction are an effect, what is the cause? Most people assume it’s his language. If they copy his language, they’ll get the same effect, right?

Not so fast.

What’s likely the cause of her feelings of attraction is a mixture of his internal state, AND his exterior behavior. How much of each? Most of it comes from his internal state. It’s really impossible to say how much, since these things are always in flux.

But it’s safe to say that the majority of the cause is his internal state.

Which means if you copy his external behavior EXACTLY, you’re still missing a huge piece of the puzzle. Which means you won’t create nearly as much attraction in as many girls as you’d like.

But with an internal state much like his, the external behavior (which is an effect of the internal state) would take care of itself.

So if you want to get the results of a natural, you’ve got to reproduce the internal state of a natural. Somebody who is confident. Somebody who feels comfortable in all social situations. Somebody who doesn’t put too much attachment to any particular outcome.

If you can do that, EVERYTHING in life will become easier. Not just talking to girls.

How To Master Both Sides Of Language

Become A Natural Persuader

Powers Of Persuasion

What’s the purpose of language?

Most people assume it’s just to convey information. Like handing somebody the sports page, or giving directions to a lost stranger.

However, many psychologists believe that the purpose of language is really persuasion.

We’ve got some idea in our heads, and we need to get that idea out of our heads, and into the heads of others.

We use language as a tool to do that. To the extent we can describe our ideas accurately and specifically enough, in a way that other people can understand, we can move those ideas out of our brains and into the brains of others.

But in reality, that’s only half the battle. What we REALLY want is for the other person to DO something.

Even if it’s something as simple as laughing at our corny jokes.

We’re really after BEHAVIOR, and our language is a tool to get that.

You call your buddy and you want to convince him to come over and play video games.

You walk up to that guy or girl and you want him or her to take an interest in you.

You talk to your boss and you want him to give you more money.

You talk to your spouse and you want him to do the dishes, or change the channel.

Whenever we do this, we are combining the STRUCTURE of our language, with the idea itself, or the content.

Now, if you’ve got some really good content (the idea you are trying to convey) you don’t need to worry about structure (how you actually say it).

If your neighborhood bar is selling beers for only five cents until midnight, you don’t need to do any persuading.

You text your buddies, saying “Beer’s only $.05 till midnight at X bar,” and that’s all you need.

This is when the message sells itself.

Other times, it’s not so easy. Just think if you could text your boss, “I need more money,” and that’d be that!

Whenever the idea, or the behavior you’re after isn’t going to happen just because of your idea, then you need to do some persuading.

But here’s the good news.

With even a normal, every day idea (“lets play video games,” “I’d like your phone number,” “I’d like a raise,”) put inside of some powerful STRUCTURE, it can become the most compelling idea there is.

Meaning whomever you deliver it to will eagerly do whatever you want.

Now, this DOES take practice, but once you build up this skill, you’ll have some ultra ninja verbal technology most people don’t even know exist.

Learn More:

Covert Hypnosis

Secrets Of Natural Seduction

Signs Are Everywhere

Respond To The Ever Present Signs

If you want to be a natural with the ladies, so you can more quickly find your dream girl, you’ve got to leave plenty of childhood ideas behind.

One thing that many guys complain about, when they’ve finished a date but haven’t been able to “close” effectively, is that they didn’t get any “green lights.”

Meaning they didn’t see any obvious signals that told them it was OK to lean in for the kiss or whatever.

Ideally, you need to get to the level where you can interpret signals that are kind of fuzzy. You’ll never get a girl looking straight at you and say, “Ok, you can kiss me now!” Unless you’re in some kind of goofy romance movie.

In reality, most of the signals will be fuzzy, and unclear. It’s your job, as a man, to notice those signals, and act on them. And to dial it back a little bit if you go too far.

Many guys don’t like hearing this. Many guys like to be told exactly what to do, exactly what signs to look for when it’s “safe” to kiss her, etc.

But if you wait for a sure thing, it’s never going to come.

Think of it like the stock market. There’s no sure thing. There’s no perfect set up. Any stock you buy can tank right away. Any stock you don’t buy can to straight to the moon. It’s your job as an investor to take a risk and pay close attention to the stock’s behavior after you buy it, and act accordingly.

Or think of it like a boxing match. Every single thing you do is based on what your opponent does. If what you’re doing isn’t working, you’ve got to change things up.

Imagine asking your boxing coach which specific moves to use, before the match even started. He’d look at you like you were nuts. You just get in there, throw a few punches, and see what happens.

How does this apply to dating, or pretty much the whole spectrum of male-female involvement?

The exact same way. There are ZERO guarantees. There’s no surefire, step by step method. There’s only those signals that girls are ALWAYS giving off. Then there’s your ability to interpret them, and then take a risk.

Then, just like the stock market, once you take a risk, you simply need to pay careful attention to how she responds, and act accordingly.

Are you getting more positive signals? Great, keep moving forward. Is she turning cold on you? Step back a bit and try something different.

Is there any way to predict how she’ll respond to you? None whatsoever. It’s all based on you, her, and the energy between you. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. 

So long as you keep playing the game, it’s all good.

Are You Frustrated By Your Jigsaw Puzzle?

Understand The Deep Structure

How To Practice Deep Structure

Sometimes you can tell a lot more about what’s unsaid, than what IS said.

Or HOW it is said.

It’s been said that it’s not the notes that make the music, but the spaces in between.

Language is the same way.

Long ago, Chomsky discovered the difference between “surface structure” and “deep structure.”

Now, this was kind of misinterpreted, and applied in places where it didn’t really belong. They even changed the names to “d-structure” and “s-structure” to avoid confusion.

But it doesn’t take away from the idea that there’s the words we say on top, and the meaning we are trying to represent with those words.

Even if you’ve got some brilliant ideas, you’ve got to get them out of your head, through that very small “language filter” and into the heads of others so they not only understand your ideas, but see the value in them.

If you’ve ever thought of something brilliant to say, only to spit out a bunch of jumbled word salad, then you know this isn’t easy.

If you told your friends you were studying “language” they would assume you were studying for a trip to a foreign country, or some class.

If you told them you were studying English, they’d think you were nuts.

Which is why when you DO make it a point to “practice” how you use your words, you’ll have a HUGE advantage over everybody else.

The trick is to first get them talking about what they want, the things they like. Then take your message, WHATEVER it is, and phrase in a way that’s a perfect fit for their brain.

If you’ve ever been in sales, you know it’s a numbers game. Or at least that’s what they tell us. Sure, if you spit out the same memorized pitch to every potential customer, you DO have to rely on numbers.

Kind of like having ONE jigsaw puzzle piece and trying to find a “natural fit.”

But if you take the time to not only elicit what’s important to your customers (or friends or potential lovers) AND structure your communication so they’ll hear it based on what’s important to THEM, then you’ll be in pretty good shape.

Meaning you can take your jigsaw puzzle piece and change it however you want, so it will fit wherever you want.

To learn how to do this, check this out:

Conversational Hypnosis

How To Be Your Own Dating Coach

Drill Yourself To Seduction Genius

Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths

Most guys do very well when they have a “dating coach.”

But the reason isn’t why most people think. Dating coaches don’t know anything more than your random Internet Keyboard jockey. 

But what they DO do (if they are worth their fees) is keep you honest.

When you think about it, most coaches are like this. Even sports coaches. Some of the greatest coaches of all time were lousy players. They aren’t great coaches because of their playing skills. They are great coaches because they have an objective view of their players. Their strengths, their weaknesses. And most crucially, specific exercises to turn their weaknesses into strengths.

So if you were to hire an expensive dating coach, this is what they’d do. They’d ask you about your strengths and weaknesses. The part of dating that is easy, and the part that is hard. Then they’d simply give you homework assignments, to keep practicing the hard stuff, until it becomes easy.

Then you’d just keep getting better and better. Then they’d help you elicit the criteria that is most important to you in finding your ideal dream girl. Then they’d help you come up with strategies and techniques to “test her” for those criteria without spending a lot of time and money. Usually on the first couple of dates.

How much would a coach like this cost? Probably a few thousand dollars. How long would it take? Maybe a few months.

And for a lot of guys, this would be money well spent. Think about it, if you could spend five grand, and be pretty much guaranteed that within six months you’d be in a relationship with your dream girl, wouldn’t it be worth it?

What’s that? Don’t have five grand laying around. No problem!

Why?

Because you can be your own coach.

You’ve just got to create some “space” to be a coach, and then use the rest of the time to be a “player.”

How do you do that?

First, you’ve got to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Then, as a coach, you’ve got to give yourself assignments. Do this at night. Daily journaling is a great way to do this.

Simply write down anything you did to further your skills. Then write down something you could do the very next day that would further them even more. Do this while being completely objective.

Then simply take that as your next day’s assignment. Some days you’ll do fine. Some days you won’t. Big deal.

But you’ll continue to make forward progress.

This does require you be honest with yourself. And this does require you actually DO your daily assignments.

But if you do, amazing things will happen.

Are you willing?

How To Be Your Own Eye In The Sky

Spy On Your Future

Peer Into Your Own Future

What’s the difference between fate and free will?

Whatever your thoughts are, here’s a mind experiment to make it more confusing.

Let’s say you’re jamming along down the freeway. 

At the same time, there’s some guy way up in a spy plane looking at all the freeways. He notices a wreck about ten miles ahead of where you’re currently driving.

So he KNOWS that in about three to five minutes, you are going to slow, and then you are going to stop.

But you have no idea.

Now, there’s a lot of ways to explain this, in terms of free will or fate.

One way might be that the person who has the most information is in the best position to exercise his or her “free will,” while people with less information are locked into “fate.”

Most people go through life and readily give up their choices, or their free will, to fate. It’s easy that way. If you rely on fate to give you good things or bad things, you’ll never feel like a failure.

Sure, you won’t usually get very much, but you won’t feel as if you’ve tried and gotten rejected.

I’m sure you can understand the attraction of this position. Getting rejected sucks. A lot.

But if you plan your life around what you DON’T want to have happen, rather than what you do, you ARE leaving it up to the gods.

But what if you were to look at your life like the guy in the spy plane?

What if you got a really, really big picture of where you were going?

Instead of each situation being a life or death, fail or succeed, win or lose, you’d see it as one step along the MASSIVE journey that is your life.

If you practiced looking at your life in this way, it would be easier to “shift” between “big picture” thinking and “in the moment” thinking.

What if the guy in that spy plane told the guy in the car about the wreck, as soon as it happened?

He’d know about it before everybody else, and would know EXACTLY which roads to take to avoid the accident, and get to wherever he was going. Safe and on time.

What if you learned how to do this? Looking at the big picture, and at the same time, looking out through your own eyes inside each and every situation?

This is what you’ll learn in the Self-Confidence course.

A way to choose several VISIONS for your life, so you can easily place any situation where it belongs, giving you an inside angle.