Category Archives: Uncategorized

Get In The Game

Are You Living In Past Generations?

Ready For Some Real Action?

A few generations ago, humans enjoyed a pretty nice sweet spot of history.

The industrial revolution was in full swing, wealth was increasing faster than it ever had since the dawn of time. New inventions were popping out every day making life easier and more affordable, and the population was starting to explode.

Back then, if you were a normal guy with a normal brain and a normal set of skills, you could get a decent job out of high school. So long as you showed up for work every day, and learned a bit as you went, you’d be in pretty good financial shape.

One income was enough to buy a house and a car, and your wife could stay home and watch the kids.

Meeting your wife (back then) was still tough. You still had to overcome approach anxiety, social scrutiny, the huge barrier of her parents. Not only that but the choices were pretty slim. (You certainly couldn’t hit the clubs every weekend and take home a new one nighter.)

Of course now, things are much, much different. Both in a bad way, AND in a much better way.

If you’re the kind of guy who thinks you just need to show up and get good jobs, loyal girls and affordable lifestyle, then life sucks right now. Really sucks.

But if you’re the guy willing to knuckle down and make his own way, there’s no better time in history than now.

Sure the economy is in the tank. Sure it’s hard to find a decent,  old fashioned girl.

But guess what?

Since most guys aren’t willing to do what it takes, that means those that ARE willing to will have a HUGE advantage.

Like I said, it’s not nearly as easy as it used to be. Back then, you just went with the flow and you were good.

Nowadays, you’ve got to be a nimble free agent able to shift in a moment’s notice. More than ever, you’ve got to OWN your life, rather than merely be a participant.

You’ve got to take responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens to you, whether it’s under your control or not.

If you get caught out in the rain, you can curse the gods all you want. But it’s still going to rain.

How you RESPOND to the rain makes all the difference.

Complaining about the state of affairs isn’t a very good strategy.

It’s easy, and everybody can do it.

And the laws of economics say that if everybody can do it, it ain’t worth much.

Are you willing to take responsibility?

Are you willing to OWN your life?

If you are, glory awaits.

Are You Afraid Of Non-Barking Invisible Dogs?

Only In Your Mind

Do Imaginary Fears Rule Your Life?

Once, way back in high school, I came up against fear, and the fear won.

Me and my buddy had been watching some vids, and drinking a few beers.

His parents were out of town, and there these houses being constructed nearby.

We’d decided we would go check them out. They were just frames at this point.

It was night, and very windy. We were walking through this skeleton neighborhood, when we saw this “shape” off in the distance.

In all likelihood, it was a pile of lumber that had a tarp tied down over it. But in the dead of night, with the wind howling, we imagined it was a huge mean guard dog. (Why it didn’t bark didn’t come up in our terrified high school minds).

Instead of going to check it out, we talked ourselves into going back to the safety of the couch and the TV.

We told each other stories why it wasn’t a good idea to be out anyway. Why it was better to stay safely in familiar territory, rather than explore the scary unknown.

We convinced ourselves that going back to finish watching whatever videos we’d rented (filled with predictable plot lines where the heroes safely beat the bad guys) was the logical choice. 

The good choice. The right choice.

But the reality was that we simply came up against an unknown. We turned that unknown into something horrible, in our mind, and refused to face it.

We decided it was better to embrace a known safety, made up by somebody else (the videos) than to face an unknown risk, made up by our own minds.

This is very, very common. We humans do it all the time. We convince ourselves we’re doing the right thing. The logical thing. 

But are we?

Nobody got rich by taking the safest path. Nobody built a business by avoiding risk. Nobody ever created a wonderfully fulfilling relationship by avoiding potential rejection.

Of course, we were just kids, out exploring. We weren’t looking for hidden treasure or secret love.

But you’d be surprised how often those things show up out of nowhere.

Love, money, employment, friends, relationships. None of these really show up exactly how we think they will.

Which means in order to really get the good stuff in life, we’ve always got to be open.

Hard to do when you turn tail and run at the first sign of trouble, like me and my buddy.

What about you?

Are you ready to embrace risk, uncertainty, and potential setbacks?

Or would you rather stay where it’s safe and predictable?

If you’re ready to move forward, this will help:

The Best Girl Problem To Have

When You Come To A Fork In The Road - Take It!

Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

Most guys would love to find a happy attractive girl to call their own. And be the happy attractive guy the girl calls her own.

Yet many guys run into all kinds of trouble when figuring out how to make that happen.

From a structural level, it’s pretty simple. First, figure out what you’re looking for. Looks, personality, family background, religion, politics, etc. Make a list of deal-makers and deal-breakers.

Once you’ve got a reasonable list, start sorting. 

How do you sort? 

Talk to any girl you see who might fit your criteria. Of course, one of your criteria MUST be that she be attracted to you, or else what’s the point?

Otherwise it’d be like trying to buy something that you simply can’t afford.

Now, if you did this, a couple of interesting things would happen.

You may start off realizing that your game absolutely sucks. Meaning that every single girl you talk to looks like she’s about to call the cops.

Now, at this point, two things would happen. You COULD decide women are all bitches, join your local MGTOW group and start building models or something.

OR you could decide to improve your game.

How?

This is the beauty of human behavior. You don’t really need to know how. All you need to know is what you did didn’t work. So all you’ve got to do is do something different.

Start with different openers, or ice breakers. Change your clothes. Wear a different cologne. Anything.

And pretty soon you’ll start to notice small improvements. More and more girls will be interested in you. And some will begin to meet your criteria.

This is when something else pretty cool happens. The more skills you develop, the tighter your criteria will be.

A guy who’s never even kissed a girl will have completely different criteria than a guy that talks to and dates a whole range of women.

As your experience, confidence, and skill set grows, as will your criteria.

And pretty soon you’ll come to a very NICE problem to have.

Should you KEEP improving yourself, or should you pick ONE girl and stick with her?

Only you can answer that. But it’s certainly a nice problem to have.

But you’ll NEVER run into this problem if you remove yourself from the game completely.

How long should you spend going through this process?

Well, think about the benefits. A partner for life who will have your back through thick and thin, and you hers.

Don’t rush the process. Take your time. 

Enjoy your life, enjoy your skills. And enjoy the game.

Why You Shouldn’t Talk Like A Gangster

Don't Look At The Finger, Look Where It's Pointing

Don’t Copy The Finger

There’s all kinds of funny alien type movies that play off a common riff.

They have some kind of advanced technology, but all they know about Earth people is from one or two TV shows they’ve watched.

One episode of Star Trek, for example, they found a whole planet of people that modeled themselves after old gangster movies.

This is pretty funny when it’s put into a goofy alien sci-fi movie, but we do it all the time.

Not walk around talking like gangsters, but we completely miss the structure, and focus on the content.

Now, most people don’t even know the difference between structure and content, let alone know how to separate the two.

Let’s say you wanted to start a business. So you figured you’d “reverse engineer” the most successful business you could find.

Great idea, right?

So you head down to the mall, and ask the guy in charge who has the most successful shop.

And up you go, to find out everything you can about her shop, so you can do the same.

So far so good?

You see she’s got a yellow colored sign in front, so you get a yellow colored sign.

You see she’s next to an ice cream shop, so you figure you’ve got to set up next to an ice cream shop.

You notice she’s got some guy in front dressed like a panda, so you do the same.

The trouble with “reverse engineering” things like this is that most of what we see on the outside, are a RESULT of what’s on the inside.

We see the EFFECT, and not the CAUSE.

That person’s belief about themselves. That person’s ability to understand people’s needs and come up with a solution. That person’s ability to keep trying, accepting feedback, and adjusting her shop until it matches perfectly with the customer’s needs.

Not the color of her sign.

Wanna know the REAL secret of life?

That it’s an INSIDE game first, and then it manifests in the outer world.

If you start outside and work your way, you’ll have some rough going.

One of the most important qualities you can have is self confidence.

Without that, you won’t be able to talk to people to find out what they want.

You won’t be able to keep trying and “failing” until you get closer and closer.

But with self confidence, ANYTHING is possible.

Just start trying things. Improve on what works.

Not only will you be successful, but people will start copying YOU.

Should You Go Your Own Way?

Do You Really Want To Give Up A Chance of Intimacy?

Be Careful Of Rash Decisions

Many men these days have voluntarily taken themselves out of the game.

And that’s a shame. Because getting together with a girl who’s into you as much as you are into her is a feeling matched by no other.

Unfortunately, it’s getting harder and harder to create that “special relationship.”

Or is it?

The human mind is incredibly complex and has all kinds of programmed thinking routines, most of them subconscious, to protect the ego.

One of those is the “sour grapes” mindset. You see something you want, but you can’t get it, so you convince yourself that you don’t want it.

This is easy to do, and it’s essential.  Since by very nature, (and economic law) humans are hard wired to have unlimited wants, yet we live in a world where things are scarce.

Which means we’ll necessarily want things that we can’t get. That is simply baked into the cake of life on Earth.

Now, throughout the long course of evolution, Mother Nature has made it easy on us.

Think of it this way. If we had to spend our lives chasing things that we wanted, but mostly couldn’t get, that would suck. Really suck.

In fact, there was probably a race of cavemen way back in the day that went after animals, couldn’t get them, and then moped around for days, or even weeks.

Since those guys never got laid, and didn’t get a chance to pass on those “we suck” genes, those dudes were eliminated from the gene pool.

So here we are, a couple hundred thousand years later, easily able to con ourselves.

“Did you get that girls number?”

“No, but she smokes, and she seems like a bitch.”

“Wow man, you really dodged a bullet!”

That way, we can make an easy recovery, and quickly set our sites on the next target.

Unless we give up completely.

It’s one thing to convince ourselves that any particular woman is undesirable (in order to protect our ego from the pain of rejection) but it’s something else completely to convince ourselves that ALL WOMEN are undesirable.

Now, aside from any economic arguments (divorce, child support, etc), you still can find some women that fit your criteria, so long you don’t give up.

To be sure, meeting girls shouldn’t be the number one priority in your life. But the idea of meeting women shouldn’t be off the table completely.

So long as you’ve got some solid criteria, as well as some decent sorting and qualifying skills, you won’t run into too much trouble.

After all, having options is much better than not having options.

And if you remove yourself from the dating pool completely, you are pretty much cutting off the option of meeting a nice lady to keep you happy for any span of time.

Just something to consider.

mindpersuasion.com

How To Enjoy Failure For More Success

Failure Is Fun!

Embrace Failure

Most of us hate to go backwards.

I remember I used to go hiking a lot, where we were carrying about 40 pounds of gear and food on our backs.  Sometimes we’d go “off trail” to get to a really good fishing spot, or to climb to the top of a peak.

And sometimes we’d get halfway there, only to realize we were on the wrong path. Which meant we had to backtrack a mile or so, and then start over.

Not a pleasant discovery when you’re carrying your home on your back!

When doing anything, it really, really sucks to find out you’ve been “doing it wrong,” and that you’ve got to “back up” and start over again.

Even if you go back to the beginning of a certain step (rather than the absolute beginning) it really sucks.

A common thing is to simply ignore the “mistakes” and keep forging forward.

Of course, from a purely objective standpoint, this only  makes it worse. But when you’re deep in the mix, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

This is why it’s CRUCIAL to accept that the “two steps forward, one step back” idea is essential.

Now, we all have it programmed into our brains by well meaning adults (parents, teachers, coaches, etc) that failure is to be avoided at all costs.

But without failure, there’s really no learning.

Before we learned HOW to learn (meaning before we had any idea of school or anything) we NATURALLY learned by trial and “error.” By taking two steps forward, and LITERALLY falling on our faces.

This is how EVERYBODY learns to walk.

And if was fun. 

Until we grow up and get that idea that “failure is bad” in our heads.

But the REAL CREATORS of society, those who build amazing machines, beautiful artwork, fantastic medical discoveries, they KNOW that failure is crucial.

They know that in order to double your success rate, all you’ve got to do is double your failure rate.

For example, many guys like to fancy themselves as “pick up artists,” able to sweet talk women into their beds.

They talk about how many “lays” they’ve got, or how many “number closes” they’ve got.

But the REAL question that REAL players ask, is, “How often have you been rejected?”

Now, this is not an easy thing to swallow. Most of us hold out to some imaginary magical system (wealth, girls, health, whatever) that will eliminate any failure, and give us instant success without much effort.

But the ONLY way to get better at ANYTHING is to fall on your face, pick yourself, and learn from what just happened.

If you’re only focused on the short term, this is pretty scary.

But if you’ve trained your brain to always look at the big picture, this is pretty easy. It can be just as fun as when you were a kid, learning to walk.

Get Ready For Game Day

There's Only One Way To Get Better

Practice Makes Perfect

If you want to develop rock solid confidence with girls, this is for you.

Now, to start off you need to understand this is NOT a magic switch.

Talking confidently to girls, ANY girl, is a skill. And just like any skill, it takes practice. And no matter who you are, the more practice you put in, the better you’ll get.

But you still need to practice.

Now, even guys that are pretty good NEVER practice. Imagine being on a sports team and ONLY playing when you had a regular season game. That would be a really lame way to organize your team. If you were the manager you’d be fired pretty quick.

Obviously, teams that practiced more would perform the better. 

When it comes to girls, not only do most guys NEVER practice, but each and every time they talk to a girl, it’s not even a regular season game. It’s the bottom of the ninth in the world series, and they’re down by three runs.

So, the first realization is to make time for practice. When you are practicing, you are NOT picking up. You are not EVER going to meet these girls again, even if they throw themselves at you.

Practice is practice. Game time is game time.

How do you practice?

It all depends on what level you’re comfortable with. Whatever that is, that’s a good place to start.

Say you’re good at saying “Hi” to cute girls, but after that you collapse into a puddle of terror.

So your “practice” is to go and say “hi” to ten or twenty girls, every day for a week or so.

Choose ONE DAY out of the week to be “game day.” These are girls you’re allowed to number close and call and date if you can.

Otherwise, they’re only practice.

Now, this next part is crucial. The other component of actual, in-the-field physical practice is mental practice.

Every single night (preferably before sleep so your subconscious can process it), mentally review whatever practice you did that day.

Only re-engineer the memory so it’s slightly better than what actually happened. But only slightly.

And ONLY re-engineer YOUR PART, don’t re-engineer any responses you get. So if you said a timid “hi,” change your memory so you said very congruent “Hey!” with a nice smile.

This is pretty easy, and the more you do this, the better you’ll get. No two ways about it.

It will only take a few minutes per day, and a few minutes per night.

If you did this for six months solid, your game would improve by leaps and bounds, and talking to real girls, on GAME DAYS would be much, much easier, and much, much more successful than it is now.

The only question is, are you willing to practice?

Get Started:

mindpersuasion.com

Why Hidden Risk Is Dangerous 

Not All Risks Are Obvious

Risk Is Not Always What It Seems

There’s a crucial scene in the Matrix, where Neo is presented two choices.

One, a red pill, and another, a blue pill.

The red pill will remove the scales from his eyes, so he sees things the way they really are.

The blue pill is so he goes back to sleep, blissfully unaware of the evil around him.

The red pill / blue pill dichotomy was “borrowed” from Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland) who no doubt “borrowed” it from many stories from before, in various forms.

When they say that “ignorance is bliss,” what to do they mean?

By taking the “blue pill,” and staying safely unaware of what’s going on, you don’t have to worry about too much.

Now, this is fine if you happen to be in safe place, with enough resources to survive, and enjoy some free time once in a while.

Showing up to work on time, doing what you’re told, in order to collect a paycheck that’s just enough to cover monthly expenses.

To be certain, the blue pill life ain’t exciting, it’s not glamorous, but it’s safe.

Right?

This is the great paradox of risk.

We “think” we’re “playing it safe,” but we’re really not.

Sure, in the short term, it might feel safer to do what the boss says without much question, not rock the boat too much, not mess up a good thing.

But in the long term, playing it “safe” might be the riskiest thing you’ll ever do.

Why?

If something happens, and somebody “pulls the plug” on your comfy lifestyle, what then?

Being able to stay safely on auto pilot without rocking the boat isn’t a very marketable skill.

It’s not something you can proudly show off after a lifetime of “achievement.”

The good news is you can start to take control, even if  you don’t think you need to.

Meaning if you just spent a little bit of time working on some translatable skills, things that you could take with you ANYWHERE, you’d be much better off.

I’m talking about the deep “meta skills” that most people tend to lack.

Public speaking ability, decent social skills, persuasive skills, and having the confidence that you can learn anything, to get anything.

Most people have a couple of skills.

Even better would be to have several skills

But even better would be to have the deeper confidence that you could LEARN any skill.

That way, no matter WHAT happened, you’d be able to step back a couple paces, take a look at the situation, and figure out what to do.

And not merely survive, but THRIVE.

Are You Searching For A TV Wife?

You Know Stuff On TV is Fake, Right?

Back To Reality

One of the most common features of humans is we always long for the “good old days.”

Meaning that no matter when any particular society shows up in history, there’s always a large percentage of folks (from ALL levels of society) that moan about how hard it is, compared to those glorious days of yore, when gold rained from the skies.

Well, hindsight, as they say, is 20-20. (Don’t worry, I know I’m mangling metaphors!)

Meaning whenever humans recall the past, we recall it not as it really was, but only the good parts.

Some believe this has an evolutionary component. Since humans are naturally wired to learn from experience, we tend to remember the good stuff, the stuff that worked, rather than the crappy stuff.

It’s also a handy way to complain without sounding like we’re complaining.

After all, if it’s the times that are keeping you down, rather than your skills, then it’s not really your fault, is it?

Unfortunately, this is an ego-protecting con.

The good old days were NEVER as good as we imagine they were.

Guys complain about them all the time. Back in the good old days, women were loyal, and all you had to do was get yourself a nice wife, and you were set.

That’s the way it worked on those 50’s TV shows, right?

Well, from statistics, divorces were a lot lower back then. But what does that mean?

Does that mean married couples were super happy, and it was one gigantic love fest?

Not really.

Think of it this way. If  you had a pretty good job, that started at 7 AM, you’d show up on time. Especially if there was a zero tolerance policy on being late. You’d have NO PROBLEM jumping out of bed at 6 AM every morning, AND going to sleep pretty early every night.

But what if you had a bunch of money that didn’t require you to get up at any particular time? Would you leap out of bed every morning at 6? 

No way.

That’s what happens when we live with constraints and incentives.

It’s easy to keep our noses clean. But when those constraints and incentives are gone, so do our good habits.

So, it not that women today are any different than the mythical women of yore, there’re just a lot less restrictions. Women aren’t FORCED to stay in a crappy marriage like they were 60 years ago.

But here’s the thing.

Back then, since women (and men) were stuck, men didn’t have to have ANY kind of game, whatsoever.

And most men today have crappy game as well.

Only because it’s so “normal” to have many sexual partners, and getting laid is pretty easy, most men convince themselves their game is tight just because they can get laid.

But nowadays, if you want a loyal woman, you’ve got to create REAL attraction.

And here’s something else.

Back in the “good old days” you may have had a lower divorce rate, but guys living with girls who secretly despised them wasn’t the love-fest it’s made out to be on TV.

Back then, if you wanted a “TV wife” you had to have some pretty good game, just like today.

So guys complaining today about the lack of quality women are the same guys that were TRAPPED in horrible marriages back in the “good old days.”

Just as it was back then, it is today.

If you want a woman to be loyal, have your back, and support you in your life, you’ve got to generate some DEEP LEVEL attraction.

And THAT only comes with some top notch game.

Game most guys don’t have.

Get Some:

mindpersuasion.com

Choose Your Life’s Mission

Where Are You Headed?

The Road To Uncertainty

I remember when I was a kid, I would love going on vacations.

Most of the time, it was just us driving somewhere for a few hours, staying in a motel, and then driving back later in a couple days.

There was usually some kind of activity near the motel, but nothing that I can remember now.

I just remember the excitement of being in the car, and going somewhere new.

I also remember the HUGE difference between taking classes at a local community college, as an adult, compared to when I was studying University.

When it was at Uni, it sucked. Boring, if I failed I’d be in big trouble, etc.

But as an adult, I LOVED taking classes. I was studying what I wanted to, not to get some piece of paper. 

I was learning just because I wanted to LEARN something.

I took a few language classes, tons of self improvement stuff, public speaking, even Tai Chi.

Whenever we humans do ANYTHING, the reasons we’re doing it will have a HUGE impact on how we feel about it.

Being a kid, the vacations were always outside of my control, but it was still fun. I never chose where we went, but I always enjoyed going somewhere new.

Being an adult, and taking all those classes, I felt the same way. I chose where I was going, and enjoyed the journey.

What’s the common thread?

It seems that being excited about the unknown is a crucial factor. On it’s own, it CAN be enough.

Also, going somewhere or doing something when you KNOW what the outcome is going to be, can also get your juices flowing.

But what happens when you combine these two?

What happens if you not only EMBRACE the unknown, but also have total control in where you’re going?

Sounds paradoxical, right?

But when you choose your outcome, and leave the PATH up in the air, something to discover along the way, then you’ve discovered some REAL magic.

Not only do you KNOW you are going somewhere good (or doing something good or learning something good or creating something good), but when  you’re completely OPEN to HOW you’ll get there, that’s when life takes on a whole new meaning.

Every step you take will get you wonderful feedback that will get you closer.

Your Ultimate Journey of Life.

What path are you on?

Are you dreams BIG enough?

Are the compelling enough to pull you forward, no matter what?

When you’ve got a huge dream, AND you know, deep in your bones, that you can handle anything that life throws at you, you’ve got it made.