Category Archives: Uncategorized

Only If You Want A Quality Relationship

The Myth Of The Quality Woman

Is The Market Terrible?

Where you can find a “quality woman”?

I hate to break it do you, but they don’t exist. No, I don’t mean like that. I don’t mean in the bitter, “poor me” sense that you’ll find bleeding all over the “manosphere” (whatever THAT means.)

I mean that you simply can’t put labels like “quality” on people without having a specific set of parameters.

One thing that Maltz taught in Psycho-Cybernetics is to NEVER compare yourself to others.

Take the next random dude you meet on the street, for example.  You’re going to be better at a bunch of stuff than he is. He’s going to be better at a bunch of stuff that you. At least today. Tomorrow? Maybe a different story completely.

Does this mean it’s hopeless finding what you might subjectively describe as a “quality woman?” Not at all. But first, you’ve got to ditch that label, because it’s pretty meaningless.

Reminds me of this movie called “Punching The Clown.” There was this guy who was a singer/comedian. He had this weird style of playing his guitar while spitting out ridiculous jokes, that “sort of” sounded like a song.

One day, a big Hollywood Exec came to see him in a studio.

“Show me your FUNNIEST gag!” The exec said. So the guy starts singing one of his deadpan, slow boiling type humor.

The exec interrupts him. “No, no. Show me one that’s FUNNY right off the bat!”

This went on for a while, until the exec gave up.

Of course, the meaning of the scene is that “funny” is not some objective thing like a law of mathematics. Even something that’s funny to one person may not be funny to somebody else.

So stop looking for some kind of magical “quality woman” to jump out of the shadows and magically solve all your girl problems.

Change the word “quality” for “a girl that satisfies most of my criteria, and for whom I satisfy most of hers.”

Now, this leaves most guys at a loss, because they don’t really HAVE any criteria, other than she’s got to be hot and not throw a drink in his face when he talks to her.

So the first step is to actually determine your own criteria. What do you want in a woman? Naturally, the more women you interact with, the more you’ll find tune your criteria.

And guess what? You’ll find plenty of women that satisfy YOUR criteria, but you don’t satisfy THEIRS.

Most guys don’t like to hear this.

Most guys think all they need to do is shave, shower, put on some expensive cologne and the “quality women” are supposed to beat a path to their door.

Doesn’t work like that.

Is it easy? Not in the least. 

Will you get rejected a lot? Absolutely. 

Will it take time? Yes. 

Will it happen like in the movies? Probably not.

But it is possible. Just not easy. But finding a woman that matches your criteria, and for whom you match hers, is something that you should aspire to as one of your life goals. (If building a relationship is indeed one of your plans in life).

Not something that just “happens” when you’re out with your buddies.

Now, let’s be honest. A lot of guys aren’t willing to put in the work. That’s fine. They’d rather spend their entire lives without a woman, or short term relationships, which for many guys is perfectly fine. 

Ultimately it’s up to you.

What do you want?

What will it take to get it?

Are you willing to put in the effort?

mindpersuasion.com

Do You Have Portable Skills?

Which Skills Should You Carry With You?

The Best Skill Of All

When I was a kid I got a Swiss Army Knife for Christmas.

All kinds of tools, knives, scissors, saw, magnifying glass. I was in boy scouts, so it came in pretty handy.

Later on, as an adult, when I was into backpacking, I got all kinds of cool gear.

Since backpacking requires you actually walk a long, long ways (usually 20+ miles over a couple days) with everything on your back, you’ve got to be pretty efficient.

So a lot of the equipment is built to not only be very light and portable, but also to serve many purposes.

Especially the food. Freeze dried. Easy to cook. (Not so tasty!)

Compared to “car camping,” where you drive your car right up to the campsite, and then just unload all the junk from the trunk. You can get away with a LOT more (and a lot more enjoyable) stuff.

Huge coolers filled with beer. Lawn chairs. Plenty of wood for a fire. Big thick juicy steaks to BBQ.

The skills you carry with you will have a huge impact on how well you do in life.

The more translatable they are, the easier you’ll be able to switch from job to job, or situation to situation, and still come out on top.

One of the biggest “presuppositions” in NLP is that the more flexibility you have, the better you’ll do.

While that freeze dried food isn’t something you’d consider “delicious” it allows you to get to places that very, very few people have ever seen.

Gorgeous valleys way up above the tree line. Huge meadows filled with beautiful flowers, and NO people. Only animals.

Car camping, on the other hand, only allows you to go where everybody else goes.

Your skills are similar. If you’ve got the same skills that everybody else has got,  then you’ll only be able to go where everybody else goes.

On the other hand, if you’ve got some very portable skills, that you can take with you anywhere, and aren’t tied to a specific situation, you’ll do much, much better.

What skills are these?

Mental skills. Learning skills. Communication skills. People skills.

But there’s one “meta” skill that will let you learn all other skills.

Being able to look into the unknown future, and think to yourself, “Yep, I can do this,” and then get busy learning.

Most people cower in fear, and wait for somebody to hold their hand.

Most people wait for step by step instructions. For somebody else to “go first,” so they know it’s safe.

What about you?

Are you willing to boldly go where you’ve never gone before? So you can continue to learn new things, gain new skills, and reach even higher levels of success?

This will help:

Self Confidence Generator

Mind Tricks To Kill Fear

Is This What Talking To Girls Feels Like?

Control Your Thoughts – Control Everything

Imagine if you tried swimming using the following method.

You stood there on the side of the pool, shaking from fear. All your buddies were swimming, but you weren’t sure if you could do it.

Maybe you looked at a point off in the distance, and imagined how cool it would be to swim over there. Then you imagined the cold hand of death grabbing your ankle and pulling you down to the lonely bottom.

You grit your teeth, and jump in. Only you don’t try and swim. You just kind of float there. Then suddenly your instincts kick in, and you start dog paddling. Everybody’s laughing. You paddle back to where you came from, and climb out.

Absolutely humiliated.

This is very similar to what most guys do when they approach girls. Especially when they’re nervous while approaching.

Now, if you’re nervous and you approach anyway, congratulations. Most guys can’t do this.

But when you approach, there’s some things you can do to make it a lot easier, and some things to do that will make it a lot harder.

The thoughts you hold in your head WHILE approaching are crucial. If you don’t purposely hold positive thoughts, your caveman brain will take over.

This is like you dog paddling in the pool. Running on instincts.

But if you approach with some positive thoughts, and HOLD those thoughts, it will be a lot easier.

This would be like swimming the crawl, based on conscious thinking, rather than dog paddling, based on instinct.

Every action you take, there’s a battle going on in your mind. Your conscious, rational self, vs. your caveman instincts.

Your caveman instincts are usually only good if you’re in a caveman environment. Like there’s some sort of horrible, life threatening danger, and you’ve got to take care of business.

But when talking to cute girls, your caveman brain is NOT your friend.

Your conscious mind is.

What thoughts should you think?

Firstly, you’ll need to FORCE them in the forefront of your brain. Like you might need to consciously remember how to swim.

Any thoughts of any positive EXPERIENCES with women will do. Ideally, you should have a positive experience in the recent past, and one in the near future. Which will take place AFTER you talk to the girl you’re about to talk to.

Any positive experience will work. A girl that smiled at you. A cute girl you talked to at Starbucks (whether she was working there or not.)

ANY experience will do.

This works for many reasons.

You won’t see the girl you’re about to talk to as a life or death situation. 

Which means you’ll significantly tone down any neediness or desperation. She’ll pick up on this, and this will increase her likelihood of being attracted to you.

Now, this can be tough to do if you don’t have ANY positive experiences with women. But you can certainly go and get some.

Just hit up some shops or restaurants around town where cute girls work. DO NOT try and pick them up. Just be friendly with them. Go in once a week or so. Learn their names, and tell them yours.

Remember, these are NOT girls you are picking up or number closing or getting advice from or anything. Just some girls to have a friendly, BRIEF, chit-chat with while you drink your coffee or whatever.

THEN, when you see some girls you’d like to talk to, for real, think of those “practice girls” while you do so.

Do this long enough, and you’ll be building up a HUGE amount of positive experiences with women.

Just remember that this ISN’T automatic, at least not at first. The first couple dozen times you talk to real girls, in the real world, you’ll need to FORCE your brain to think of those positive experiences, WHILE APPROACHING and WHILE TALKING.

But if you keep it up, that feeling of “good experiences with women” WILL become automatic.

And you’ll have suddenly turned into a natural.

How To Tilt The Game In Your Favor

What Does Ben Franklin Know About Success?

Essential Daily Mental Practice

Most people are aware of the power of visualization.

Athletes have known about this for years. They visualize what they want, over and over, and it happens.

Andre Agassi, the tennis player, made a dramatic career comeback to win Wimbleton, when nobody else thought he could.

He said it was easy, because he’d already seen it a million times in his mind.

Even in University studies, it’s been scientifically proven that visualizing something is just as good as actually practicing it.

They took three groups of basketball players. One group didn’t practice, one group practiced in their mind, and one group practiced for real.

The group that did mind practice improved just as much as the group that did real practice.

No matter what you want to do, mentally practicing before hand will make it easier. 

Benjamin Franklin talked about this hundreds of years ago. He called it a “daily review.” To be sure, he wasn’t the guy who came up with it, as it’s likely been around for a long, long time.

Basically you just spent a few minutes at the end of the day, reviewing the events. The ones you’d like to “rewrite,” you do. In your mind. You practice the way you’d like to have done whatever it is you did.

The more you do this, the more quickly you’ll improve.

You can even take this to a meta level. Stepping it up a bit.

You can do this with ANY situation. Just take a few moments before you take action, and really visualize exactly HOW you’d like it to come out.

Not only will this make it much more likely, but it will significantly diminish any fear you may have.

Sadly, most people will never do this.

It’s much easier to stay stuck, and come up with an excuse why you didn’t take action.

Especially when we blame forces outside of ourselves. Nothing’s easier than pointing fingers.

It keeps us safe, and we get to pretend that it’s not our fault.

Unfortunately, this will never get us very much good stuff.

Because as you well know, the only things REALLY worth something are things you’ve got to get on your own, rather than have them plopped safely in your lap.

Part of the process of becoming a fully functioning adult is giving up that magical thinking, and taking responsibility for your life.

Sure, it can be difficult. Sure you’ll need to step outside your comfort zone. Sure, you might get some results other than what you were hoping for.

But that’s where all the juice of life is. Taking action, and seeing what happens.

Naturally, you can use the visualization process to make it much easier. Instead of charging forward and hoping for some “good luck,” you can definitely tilt the game in your favor.

How?

How To Practice Approaching

To Approach Easily, Get Your Brain Out Of The Way

Retrain Your Thinker

Your brain is incredibly powerful. The vast computing power between your ears is not even close to being fully understood. Despite what Google and other companies say about AI, it’s a long, long ways off from what you can do.

Sure, they can build these pretty impressive “Turing Machines,” that pretend to be intelligent. And they certainly respond to situations “in the moment,” but they’ve got nothing on your squishy gray matter.

You can use your brain to plan, to look into the future, to balance all kinds of potential choice that you are considering now, and how they may wind up in the any time out in front of you.

You can check back into your vast collection of memories to gauge how a situation may turn out. To the extent you can override your instincts with your rational mind, you can create magic. Generate massive wealth. Build a life that will be remembered for generations.

On the other hand, when see a cute girl you’d like to talk to, your brain can be your worst enemy.

Why?

Because all those same miracles of computational magic that help you re-invent relativity will also talk you out of approaching her.

The same genius mind that you can use to creatively solve unlimited problems will come up with about a thousand different nightmare scenarios within a couple microseconds. This, of course, will make walking over there and talking to that girl seem as dangerous as jumping into the tiger cage at the zoo.

With about a thousand pounds of steaks duct taped all over you.

What’s the answer? Train yourself to take action, BEFORE your brain starts to overheat.

How do you do that?

Same way you practice every other skill. By practicing that skill.

Good news is that practicing taking action doesn’t mean you’ve got just grab your balls and talk to hot girls all the time. (Unless of course you want to.)

All you’ve got to do is train your brain to respond to any desire IMMEDIATELY with some kind of action.

This is not as simple as it sounds. Human are hard wired to think. To contemplate. To wonder.

Which means you’ll need to concentrate on not concentrating.

Give yourself at least 30 minutes a day, if you can. Go somewhere where there’s a lot of interesting things.

The mall, the supermarket, a club with a bunch of people. Your job during this training drill is to simply walk around, and notice all the things around you.

AS SOON AS you see something (person, object, painting, whatever) interesting, IMMEDIATELY walk toward it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t think. Don’t wonder if you might get in trouble. Don’t worry what other people will think. 

What you’re doing is training in a conditioned response into your brain. Desire is to be followed by action.

Once you do this for a while, you’re ready to practice with girls.

If you see ANY GIRL you think is cute, get up and walk towards her. At this point, you don’t have to talk to her, or interact with her. Just walk over there. Pass her on the way to the restroom. Look at something near where she’s standing at the grocery store.

Don’t linger and wait for her to open you or anything. Just train your mind. Desire is followed by action.

Do this enough, and pretty soon it will be easy to walk up and talk to girls as soon as you see a cute one.

How To Make Everything Easy

Develop Deep and Lasting Confidence

Non Situational Confidence

A lot of companies have these “team building” getaways.

Where they go do something outdoors, that’s pretty scary.

The theory is that when they work together, to overcome some kind of physical “danger,” it will strengthen their relationship, making them better workers.

I remember when I went skydiving the first time. (I’ve only been twice.) I was scared as hell driving out there, and right up to jumping out of the plane, but after that, it was pretty amazing.

Once the initial terror went away, it literally felt like flying. Then when I landed, I felt like I was on top of the world.

Like I could do anything.

However, that feeling was gone within an hour. Driving back home I felt the same after driving home from work, or driving home from the movies.

They say that you get the confidence after you do the thing.

While this is true, there’s a couple things they DON’T say about this.

One is the “confidence” that you get is generally attached to that particular thing.

Two is that “confidence” doesn’t usually last very long.

Another thing I noticed is that the people who go skydiving a lot, the kind of people who had their own gear, weren’t at all what I’d expected.

I figured since they’d conquered their fear, they would be ultra achievers who could do anything.

That wasn’t the case. Most of them were regular people, with regular jobs, who spent most of their extra income on their “hobby.”

(And interestingly enough, a lot of them smoked. A lot.)

Sure, it is possible to get confidence the “old fashioned way.” 

Just DO IT, like they say in the commercial, but that’s pretty tough. And it doesn’t last long. You’ve got to keep DOING IT or else you’ll slip back down to where you started.

Is there another way?

Why yes, there is!

Instead of relying on your cave man (or cave woman) programming to consider the possible outcome of what you’re thinking about doing, you can consciously build up the positive, while minimizing the negative.

The more you do this, the easier it will seem, and the more self confidence you’ll naturally have.

Now, this IS a skill, not a magic pill. It will take some practice.

But once you get into the habit of doing it, you’ll find there’s LOTS of things out there that aren’t NEARLY as terrifying as most people think.

What would YOU like to make easy?

The Myth Of Seduction Techniques

Get In The Game And Have Some Fun

Your Own Experience Is The Best Teacher

There are two types of tasks. Ones that take a long time, and ones that are over in a hurry. Tying your shoes, cooking dinner, fixing the squeak in your front door. These are “static” tasks that are once and done.

You don’t expect your shoes to keep coming untied, or that squeak to come back every couple days. (Or time to flow backwards and your dinner suddenly becoming uncooked).

Other tasks take much, much longer. One because they are much more involved. Two because the parameters of the task changes over time.

For example, think of a baseball game. The task is to win the game. But how that’s done isn’t specified. It all depends on what the opposing team does.

And it depends on what team you’re playing. As much they can, statisticians scout the opposition, so they can better understand who they’re up against. Even then it’s based a lot on human performance. Lesser teams beat better teams all the time.

Imagine if you wanted to know how to succeed in baseball, but you were afraid of playing. Imagine you bought a book called “How To Win Every Game You Play.” And the book was filled with strategies, techniques, gambits and plays that were guaranteed to “win every time.”

Or imagine you went down to your local bookstore and saw some guy selling such a book. You walked up and asked him:

“Are these strategies GUARANTEED to work?” 

“Yes Sir! No matter WHO you are playing against, no matter WHAT their strategy is, the techniques in this book will allow you to win every single game. In fact, we GUARANTEE you’ll go all the way, AND WIN the world series! It doesn’t even matter WHO your players are!”

Would you believe him?

I certainly hope not!

Yet this is precisely what guys are desperately looking for in the world of dating. Some guaranteed, sure fire line or strategy that will make ANY GIRL fall in love with him. Regardless of the girl, and regardless of the guy.

Part of the reason is that most guys are absolutely TERRIFIED of rejection. So instead of getting some experience of getting rejected (and proving to themselves it’s not deadly) they instead look for ways to AVOID REJECTION completely.

Some spend their entire lives looking for some “Holy Grail of Seduction” that will get them ALL of the rewards (sexy gorgeous women who throw themselves at them) with NONE of the risks.

Take a step back and you’ll see this is pretty much the human condition. Humans are terrified of failure, but at the same time want the opposite of failure. This has made us easy marks since the dawn of time.

Anybody that can convince us we can get the goods without the risks is going to make a lot of money (before they blow town!)

Problem is that’s just not possible. Just like every team is different, and every day is different, every girl is different.

And every girl is different from day to day. And so are you.

Creating a relationships is not like cooking dinner or fixing a squeaky door. It’s a lifelong process. One that involves exposing yourself to a lot of risk.

If you aren’t willing to accept and embrace risk, you’ll never get the good stuff.

The good news is that you’re not really risking anything. You aren’t going to go broke if you say the wrong thing. You aren’t going to get hit by a bolt of lighting if she laughs at your lame pick up line. Your heart isn’t going to stop if you lean in for the kiss and she gives you her cheek.

Failure is essential. It teaches you what DOESN’T work, so you can try what does.

The more you fail, the more you’ll succeed.

Are You Walking Across Tightropes? 

Are Your Fears Really Real?

Fear: Real Or Fake?

If you’re ever going to walk a tightrope between two skyscrapers, here’s a good rule to remember:

Don’t look down.

Yea, I know, you already knew that!

But why is this rule so important? If you look down, you’ll get scared. If you get scared, you’ll lose confidence, start wobbling, and fall to your death.

Splat!

Now, let’s forget about a tightrope, instead let’s assume you are walking across a board, that’s a foot across, and very sturdy.

But it’s also between two skyscrapers. No wind, (or birds attacking you or whatever) but it’s still a 1000 foot drop.

Could you do it?

Most people wouldn’t even try unless there was a HUGE reward at the other end. Like not dying, or bag filled with endless money.

We’d take one step out, look down, and say, “nuh-uh!”

But think about it. 

Same board, laid across a soft field of grass. Would you walk across?

Of course you would. It would be easy. A foot across?  You wouldn’t even need to worry about your balance. You’d probably be able to play Angry Bird on your iPhone the whole time, no problem!

So why is the skyscraper so terrifying, but the grass so easy?

Same EXACT process. Only one has a potential deadly outcome, and one is you just step on some grass.

Now, these two “mind experiments” both have REAL outcomes. Grass is easy to step on. Falling to your death is horrible. (Or so I’ve heard.)

So even though the chances of falling are pretty minuscule, you’d have to have a pretty good reason, since one mistake would end you.

But most of the time when we think about doing something, the fear is really imaginary.

Especially social fear. Sales, speeches, talking to strangers, (especially attractive strangers) feels like we’re going to fall to our death if we fail.

But seriously, is it really that likely?

If we give a speech and people get bored, or think it’s silly, are they going to throw hand grenades at us?

If we walk up and start talking to somebody, and they’re in the middle of something, are they going to give us a spinning roundhouse kick to the throat?

Probably not. But we act like we THINK they will.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We can train ourselves to really appreciate the potential positive, and literally blow it up in our minds so we’re COMPELLED to do what we want, while minimizing the negatives so we don’t even give them a second thought.

Blasting away all social fears, and replacing with automatic self confidence.

What will you be able to do then?

Economic Myths and Seduction

Economics Is Everywhere

Perceived Value Is Everything

One of the biggest causes of human suffering is expectation beyond what the data suggests.

This happens to guys all the time. The claim is that they’ve been told (I don’t know by whom) or have been sold the idea (again, I don’t know by whom) that all they have to do is get a decent job, get in decent shape, and the women will somehow flock to them.

Then they show up, don’t get what they expected, and get angry.

This is a common misunderstanding, and it’s actually present in economics as well. Many producers, for example, rationalize their high prices by how much it costs to produce them. However, this isn’t how prices are determined.

Prices are ALWAYS determined by supply and demand. Producers make products that satisfy demands. But the demand only holds at a certain price.

In economics there’s something called “elasticity.” Meaning if the price changes, the demand will change. A supply-demand curve that’s highly elastic will show a significant demand change based on a slight change in price.

For example, if the price of beef were to suddenly go sky high, people would simply switch to pork or chicken, and the demand for beef would plummet.

The beef producers could argue until the cows come home (yuck yuck) about the water shortage, and how much it costs to raise a steer these days, etc.

But NONE of these “input costs” (what it costs to make the product) would get people to pay the price.

Now for some products, like gasoline, we’re pretty screwed. If the price doubles, we still have to buy it. We may drive a little less, but it’s not like we can switch to something else right away.

The bottom line is that input costs, what it cost to make something, have little effect on people’s desires to pay, ESPECIALLY if there are alternatives on the market.

Think of it this way. You’re standing at the supermarket, looking at the steaks, which are $50 a pound. Then you look at the pork chops, which are $2 a pound.

Is the cattle rancher standing there complaining how much it costs to make the steak going to affect your decision?

Nope.

How does this apply to dating?

Well, when you show up and expect women to suddenly fall in love with you simply because of the work you’ve done on yourself, you’ve got another thing coming.

The ONLY reason a woman is going to fall in love with you is if she wants you, based on how you interact with her.

And if you DEMAND a high price, meaning you expect her to be loyal and submissive and never look at another guy, JUST BECUASE of your high “input costs” (whatever work you’ve done on yourself), you’ll have about as much luck as the farmer trying to sell steaks at $50 a pound.

Ain’t gonna happen.

Just like in economics, the ONLY thing you can do to improve your odds is INCREASE YOUR VALUE.

And decrease the cost. Maybe demand a bit less from her, at least at the beginning.

Because in the world of dating, the supply demand curve is HIGHLY ELASTIC.

Meaning in the eyes of ALL WOMEN, there are many, many substitutions for YOU.

Harsh but true.

But guess what? The more you improve yourself, your confidence, your frame, your conversational skills, and everything else women find naturally attractive, there will be LESS SUBSTITUTIONS for you, and your value will soar.

Improve Your Life:


mindpersuasion.com

Is Your Life In A Repeating Loop?

Bust Out Of Your Rut

Try Something New

It’s easy to fall into a rut.

Get up at the same time every day, do the same things, watch the same TV shows, eat the same foods.

Some people get into a comfortable rhythm and never get out.

Now, if that’s all you want from life, that’s fine.

Some people are perfectly happy to stay safe, comfortable.

After all, if you’ve put in the work, and you’ve made your money, and have a healthy relationship with your family, that’s a pretty good place to be.

In fact, that’s where most of us would like to end up.

The great paradox of life, though, is to get to that place of relaxed comfort, we’ve got to go through a lot of situations that are the opposite.

Meaning before you get that awesome job that pays you what you’re worth for doing what you’re best at, you’ve got to live through a lot of crap.

To get to that great relationship, you’ve got to sort through a lot of nutjobs.

In fact, you may say that’s the whole purpose of life.

The journey where you find yourself, maximize your skills, and discover your true self.

To be sure, it ain’t easy. And it certainly ain’t quick.

A lot of people give up halfway, thinking they’ve made it when they’re really just “good enough.”

Are you ready to settle for “good enough” or do you want more?

Do you want to just “get by” or do you want to get a lot?

Do you want to just survive, or absolutely thrive?

Only you know the REAL answer to these questions, and only when you’re being brutally honest with yourself.

As it turns out, one of the easiest things we humans can do is deceive ourselves.

This is easy to see in others, but only the rare few can see it in themselves.

But those that do, and those who are not only honest with themselves generally do much, much better than those that don’t.

What about you? Are you willing to dream big, and then get busy?

Or are you willing to settle?

Nobody can answer that question for you.

But if you’re willing to move forward, this can help:

Self Confidence Generator