Is The Market Terrible?
I hate to break it do you, but they don’t exist. No, I don’t mean like that. I don’t mean in the bitter, “poor me” sense that you’ll find bleeding all over the “manosphere” (whatever THAT means.)
I mean that you simply can’t put labels like “quality” on people without having a specific set of parameters.
One thing that Maltz taught in Psycho-Cybernetics is to NEVER compare yourself to others.
Take the next random dude you meet on the street, for example. You’re going to be better at a bunch of stuff than he is. He’s going to be better at a bunch of stuff that you. At least today. Tomorrow? Maybe a different story completely.
Does this mean it’s hopeless finding what you might subjectively describe as a “quality woman?” Not at all. But first, you’ve got to ditch that label, because it’s pretty meaningless.
Reminds me of this movie called “Punching The Clown.” There was this guy who was a singer/comedian. He had this weird style of playing his guitar while spitting out ridiculous jokes, that “sort of” sounded like a song.
One day, a big Hollywood Exec came to see him in a studio.
“Show me your FUNNIEST gag!” The exec said. So the guy starts singing one of his deadpan, slow boiling type humor.
The exec interrupts him. “No, no. Show me one that’s FUNNY right off the bat!”
This went on for a while, until the exec gave up.
Of course, the meaning of the scene is that “funny” is not some objective thing like a law of mathematics. Even something that’s funny to one person may not be funny to somebody else.
So stop looking for some kind of magical “quality woman” to jump out of the shadows and magically solve all your girl problems.
Change the word “quality” for “a girl that satisfies most of my criteria, and for whom I satisfy most of hers.”
Now, this leaves most guys at a loss, because they don’t really HAVE any criteria, other than she’s got to be hot and not throw a drink in his face when he talks to her.
So the first step is to actually determine your own criteria. What do you want in a woman? Naturally, the more women you interact with, the more you’ll find tune your criteria.
And guess what? You’ll find plenty of women that satisfy YOUR criteria, but you don’t satisfy THEIRS.
Most guys don’t like to hear this.
Most guys think all they need to do is shave, shower, put on some expensive cologne and the “quality women” are supposed to beat a path to their door.
Doesn’t work like that.
Is it easy? Not in the least.
Will you get rejected a lot? Absolutely.
Will it take time? Yes.
Will it happen like in the movies? Probably not.
But it is possible. Just not easy. But finding a woman that matches your criteria, and for whom you match hers, is something that you should aspire to as one of your life goals. (If building a relationship is indeed one of your plans in life).
Not something that just “happens” when you’re out with your buddies.
Now, let’s be honest. A lot of guys aren’t willing to put in the work. That’s fine. They’d rather spend their entire lives without a woman, or short term relationships, which for many guys is perfectly fine.
Ultimately it’s up to you.
What do you want?
What will it take to get it?