Category Archives: Uncategorized

Is Your DNA Holding You Back?

Kick Darwin To The Curb

One of the most interesting conversations is nurture vs. nature.

When we behave a certain way, is that our nature, or is it because that’s how we were raised?

Since they’ve only just begun decoding DNA, that question is still very unanswered.

It’s easy to see both sides of the argument.

It’s kind of like Einstein’s famous unsolvable mind experiment.

Imagine you’re in a room. No windows. You are either on a spaceship that is accelerating slowly, or you are on some planet that has gravity.

If you drop something, it will fall to the floor. The question is what experiment can you do, that will measure whether or not that thing drops to the floor because of gravity, or because you are accelerating?

So far, nobody’s been able to come up with an answer.

Kind of like obesity. Is it in your genes, or is it because of your childhood?

Most people don’t like the idea of things being in our genes. That means we can’t change it, unless we rewrite our DNA.

(BTW, did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans…)

One thing that is certainly NOT hereditary is your ability to make money.

There are plenty of examples of people with super poor parents becoming super rich.

Sure, it’s easy if you are brought up to believe that making money is easy, overcoming obstacles is easy, but it’s certainly not required.

A recent study has shown that rich people have more of a mindset than anything else.

A mindset that they tell themselves, “I can become rich, and I will become rich.”

A mindset that says their wealth comes from their consistent efforts, and not some magic money fairy that comes during the night.

A mindset that says no matter what obstacle they come up against, they’ll find a way around it, AND learn something in the process, so long as they don’t give up.

On the other hand, if you subscribe to some theory that if you ONLY say the right affirmations twice a day, and the money will somehow poof itself into existence, even a small obstacle will give you problems.

But here’s the thing. The feeling of “getting something” in the form of a gift is much, much different than “achieving something” due to your efforts.

The first one feels great, but it’s kind of like a sugar rush. Lasts for a little bit, but then you want more.

The second one, achievement, is in a class in and of itself. Getting something you worked for is a drug like no other. Because it’s totally under your control, it feels so much better than getting free stuff.

It actually gives you a deep knowing that your life is under your control. Not anybody else’s.

Getting to this point requires that you ditch those old beliefs about money once and for all.

This will do that:

Money Love

Are You Scared Of Setting Goals?

Make It Because Of You

Most people know that goals are important.

Yet at the same time, most people don’t have goals.

One of the reasons is that most people are terrified of failure.

AND people like an unknown, potentially bright future.

Being an entrepreneur is often thought to be a skill only a few lucky people have.

But the real truth is that EVERYBODY is an entrepreneur. It’s really just a matter of degree.

What does an entrepreneur do? They look at what they have. They imagine what they can do with that. Then they try to make something better out of what they have. If they are in business, they take raw skills, raw equipment, raw ideas, and turn them into products and services. If they produce something people want, they get more money out of the system than they get in.

On the one hand, it makes perfect sense. But on the other hand, it’s like magic.

Consider one experiment an economist did. He had a large class of college kids. In each chair, he placed an object. A random object worth a couple dollars. He had everybody look at this random object, and measure their current state of “happiness,” on a scale of one to ten. Then he calculated the “total happiness” by multiplying each person’s score, times the number of people.

Then he let people trade. Their “stuff” for other people’s “stuff.” They had fun trading, and most people ended up with something better than what they started with.

Why?

Because everybody’s “junk” is somebody else’s “treasure.”

And after the experiment, he did the same thing. Measured their individual “happiness” and the “total happiness.”

And guess what? As you’d expect, the total happiness INCREASED. By a lot.

Nothing new was introduced into the room. Same people. Same amount of stuff. More happiness.

The reason we “like” having “vague” goals is that it allows us to imagine some awesome future way out there.

Once we set a goal (we imagine) we think we’re stuck. Especially if we fail.

The problem is that if we only have a vague set of goals, it’s hard to get motivated. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it will happen “to” us, instead of “because of” us.

Luckily, there are three simple cures for this.

One is to make your goal super big. Concrete, and well defined, but super big.

Two is to add on the simple statement, “or better” at the end. That won’t lock you in to anything.

Three is to allow yourself to redefine your goal as you get more information.

This way, you get the best of both worlds.

You get to dream big, AND you get to be motivated by something big, so you’ll be motivated to take action.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

Leverage The Invisible Hand

Feedback Magic

There’s this pretty cool theory in economics called “spontaneous order.”

It’s been misunderstood by some, as Adam Smith referred to it as the “invisible hand.”

People thought he was referring to God, or some Creator, but he wasn’t.

Instead, he was referring to the idea that people, on their own, working together, will come up with incredibly creative solutions to problems.

Basically it works like this. There’s a unfulfilled need. And somebody comes up with his or her best guess on how to fulfill that. It sort of does, for a while. Then somebody else sees that, and copies it, only they make it a little bit better. Then somebody copies THAT, and makes THAT a little bit better.

In a short while, you’ve got some crazy invention that NOBODY would have thought of.

Another thing that happens is that people start to think if DIFFERENT ways to use that invention, whatever it is.

Then THAT will spin off into a bunch of different directions as people riff off each other and keep the magic going.

Despite how “obvious” these things seem to be, these inventions evolve in ways that NOBODY could have predicted.

This is the “invisible hand” or “spontaneous order.” The vast “hive mind” that is continuously upgrading all of it’s collective ideas, and inventions, so people can more easily get their needs met.

It’s about as close to a REAL PRESENCE of a “super conscious mind” that you can get.

No top down management. Nobody checking to make sure everybody is following the “rules.” Just people being creative in solving each others problems, and fulfilling each others needs.

This also happens very much the same way on an individual level. Often times, people have goals or dreams but are afraid to start, because they don’t know how. They seem to think there is some kind of step by step plan to make it happen.

But just like no society can predict what inventions will exist in five or ten years, there is no way YOU can predict the path between YOU and your goals.

Because every single step will require you interact with the world, and see what happens. Then you take THAT feedback, which is necessarily UNKNOWN until it happens, and use that information to act again.

Every time you act, you get feedback. All feedback helps you act better next time.

Nearly every major success story you’ll find is somebody who had NO IDEA HOW they were going to be successful at the beginning.

All they had was a strong desire, and the motivation to keep going, no matter what.

So long as you know what you want, you keep taking action, and you learn from all feedback, it is impossible to fail.

Get Started:

Mind Persuasion

Are You Waiting For Meaning?

Choose Your Own Direction

Once I was dating this girl. We’d been together about a year.

It was pretty clear that the magic was starting to fade. Every time we’d get together, we’d just kind of go through the motions. Eventually we parted ways, both realizing that was best.

Sometimes on the weekends I’ll go to the local mall. If there’s decent movie to see, and I happen to be in the middle of a good book, I’ll get there a couple hours before the show starts.

Hang out in a coffee shop and read. Catch the show. Do some window shopping, then head out.

Sometimes when I’ve got a couple hours to kill before a meeting or event, I’ll go downtown and wander around.

Most people find that it’s pretty easy to feel lost. That life doesn’t have a point. That there’s no meaning.

But here’s the thing. Most people are waiting for somebody else to give the meaning. Some external “thing” that defines their lives. Some people happen to “meet” the right person, and it works out. Then they happen to “find” the right job, which turns into a career. Then you can feel like you’re onto something.

But for more and more of us, that doesn’t really “happen” any more.

The world is different. The economy is different.

Which means it’s up to YOU.

Only YOU can define what your life is for. Only YOU can give your life direction. Only YOU can choose where you are going in your life.

Most people have very vague wishes of things they’d like to have “happen” in their lives.

Very, very few take the time to take those vague wishes, and turn them into concrete goals, backed by concrete plans.

In reality, it doesn’t take long to do that. We humans come preprogrammed with very STRONG desires.

Money. Security. Companionship. Recognition. Self-fulfillment.

It’s up to YOU to take those vague instincts, and turn them into action plans. How long will that take? If you’re serious, not very long.

And once you get started on your action plan, you’ll simply redefine them as you go along. The more things you try, the more feedback you’ll get, and the more enlightened you’ll become on how to get there.

Only THEN will your life have real meaning. A meaning few ever feel.

Why?

Most people are terrified. Most people think that if they choose one big goal for their lives, they may fail. Which means their life is meaningless.

But the paradox is that the only way for your life to NOT be meaningless is to choose your life. Live your life. Leave your mark.

Stop waiting, and start acting.

These will help:

Mind Persuasion

Are You Working Numbers?

Half Baked Thoughts

What makes two people “click”?

You meet somebody, either a friend or potential lover, and everything just kind of “works.”

You be yourself, they be themselves, and everything just works out.

If you’re building a business, meeting somebody like this can be the difference between struggling for years, or suddenly making it big.

Most people think this is simply kind of “numbers game.” And to an extent, it certainly is.

After all, not every single person on Earth is going to be your best friend. Or you lover, or your business partner. If you are intending to meet that person, there is going to be some “sorting” involved.

This requires you know what you want, and you’ll know when you find it.

However, most people lean too heavily on the “numbers game” model.

You walk up, spit out some words that vaguely represent the thoughts in your mind. They hear them, and interpret them based on the thoughts in THEIR mind. Then those thoughts in their mind (caused by your randomly chosen words) are mixed up with the thoughts they had before that.

Then THEY spit out some random words. If everything works out, a conversation ensues. If THAT works out, then maybe you’ll create a relationship.

When most folks approach somebody else, they just “hope” it works.

However, you CAN significantly increase your odds. Instead of just spitting out some words, you can choose them carefully.

Instead of “hoping” that your thoughts are going to hopefully overlap with theirs, you can make it much more likely.

How?

Simply by asking them the right questions, in the right way.

Most people lead with their own desires. You walk over, you break the ice, and then you start with your “pitch.”

Since most people mostly talk about themselves, the end result is many people aren’t compatible. Which is when that “numbers game” theory comes up.

But by asking the right questions, in the right order, you’ll be STARTING with their wants and needs.

Only then do you start talking about what YOU want.

And when you do that, somebody pretty amazing will happen.

Instead of just hearing about you and what you want, they’ll be hearing that THROUGH the filter of their own wants needs and desires.

Making YOUR wants, needs and desires seem so much better.

Which means you’ll have a lot more success, with a lot more people.

No matter WHAT you want.

Learn How:

Interpersonal Resonance

One Trick To His Wealth

Only Your Words

I like to watch apocalyptic type movies.

Zombies, end of the world, stuff like that.

Sometimes, though, I get a bit curious (especially if the movie is a bit slow) and start looking stuff up just to see “What if…”

For example, I watched one movie where they were these two neighbors up in the hills. One group was some ultra yuppie type that liked drinking wine and talking about the world’s social problems.

The other group was a bunch of hippies that were cooking meth.

They were both in their respective cabins when the end came. The movie was about how they had to work together to survive. It ended with them happily planting some vegetables in their garden.

Which got me a bit curious. How big of a garden would you need?

As it turns out, in a modern economy, each person requires about an acre per year for enough food.

And in the movie, there were about ten people all working on something MUCH smaller than that.

But then again, movies aren’t known for their scientific accuracy!

I saw an interview with this ultra rich guy. A guy that was born poor, and clawed his way up to wealth. It took most of his life, so he wasn’t some kind of Law of Attraction guy that was promoting any kind of metaphysical magic.

Rather, his was a story of hard work, measured risk, self-belief, and perseverance.

The interviewer asked him what skills he would need if he was dropped into a strange city with only a few dollars to his name.

The MOST IMPORTANT skill, according to him, was the ability to communicate effectively AND persuasively to others.

Even if you had the best idea, it wouldn’t be worth squat unless you could not only communicate your idea to others, but do so in a way where they could see how THEY would benefit if they helped you.

After all, no matter HOW good your ideas are, few people will work with you unless you not only have a strong belief that your ideas will pan out, but that EVERYBODY INVOLVED will benefit in some way.

Which means you have to have an idea, (or several) and you have to have the ability to talk other people into helping you.

If you can do that, you can build anything.

Get Started:

Interpersonal Resonance

Are You Waiting For Free Stuff?

What Are You Willing To Trade?

When I was a kid I would love to go trick or treating.

I’d spend at least a week on a costume, and make sure I hit all the good houses.

The BEST houses were the ones with all kinds of decorations, and lights.

It was pretty cool to go door to door, say the magic words, and get free stuff.

Of course, it wasn’t free, but it felt like it. The people giving away the “free stuff” were also getting something as well. They got to see all the neighborhood kids dressed up. They got to get recognition from the kids if their house was particularly well decorated.

A lot of people, even as adults, seem to have the same strategy. We believe that all we need to do is say the “magic words” and we’ll get “free stuff.”

If you’re saying affirmations (magic words) and you’re not getting “free stuff” then all you’ve got to do is change your affirmations, right?

Not quite.

The whole purpose of saying affirmations is to change your beliefs. Then with different beliefs, you will change your behavior. Your behavior, of course, is how you interact with other people.

And when you get “stuff” it’s NEVER going to be free.

Why not?

Because everybody who will “give” you “stuff” will ONLY give you stuff if THEY think they are getting something MORE in return.

All those adults who passed out candy on Halloween didn’t do it as an obligation. They did it because they got MORE out of the night than they put in. They emotional pleasure they got seeing all those cute kids dressed up was MORE than the effort they put on their decorations and the few bucks they spent on candy.

The only time you will ever get any kind of “stuff” is when you are giving the other person kind of “stuff” in exchange.

This can be actual stuff, this can be an experience, this can be good feelings. But it has to be SOMETHING. Otherwise, why would they give you anything?

This sounds harsh, and contrary to what many “Law of Attraction” gurus are preaching these days.

But if you ARE expecting “free stuff,” ask yourself these hard questions.

Where does this “stuff” come from? Who is giving it to you? Why are they giving it to you? Why aren’t they giving it to any one of the other SEVEN BILLION people on Earth?

The flip side of these harsh questions is that you really CAN get anything you want. Provided you find out what other people want FIRST, and then figure out a way to give it to them.

How do you do that?

Here’s How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Fun With Mind Filters

What Do You See

There’s a lot of ways to see the world.

Some people see the world as a dangerous place, filled with deceit and treachery.

Other people see the world filled with happiness and puppy dogs.

Still others see the world filled with necessary evil to get what they need to survive.

To be sure, it all depends on what society you live in, what the government is like and what the economy is like.

There have been plenty of horrific regimes that made it impossible to see the world as anything other than pain and suffering.

On the other hand, even in the worst situations, like in Nazi concentration camps, people managed to look on the bright side of life.

To be sure, not all of us have super human levels of optimism.

But we CAN change our filters, and see the world in different ways.

Next time you’re out in public, try a few filters on, just to see what it’s like.

Like maybe see everybody as a potential customer of some sort. Imagine you had a magic box that could produce any product, and start to wonder what everybody wants or needs.

Or see everybody as having some kind of specialized skill. Imagine you are a world class “fixer” and you are always on the lookout for new team members. Try and guess what everybody’s secret skill is as they walk by.

Or imagine you are a world class chef and you have a magic kitchen. Try and guess what everybody’s favorite dish is.

Or imagine that you are a world class grief counselor. As you see people walking by, imagine what each individuals biggest memory or source of emotional pain is.

The truth is, that to a large extent, the world is VERY accommodating. If you look for problems, you’ll find them. If you look for opportunities, you’ll find them too.

If you look for dream lovers, you’ll find them. If you look for people that will hurt you, unfortunately you’ll find them too.

Take some time to think about what you want. And the kind of people that will help you get it.

Then get out there, and look for them. Find them. And get what you want.

How do you do that?

Here’s How:

Interpersonal Resonance

Do You Have Forward Momentum?

Keep Going!

When I was a kid, my sixth grade class took a week long trip to the local mountains.

It was the first time I’d seen snow up close.

I was amazed how easy it was to make a HUGE snowball. We’d found this field, and started rolling one across the field.

By the time we’d gotten it to the other side, we needed about four kids to push it.

Of course, then we made another, and another and piled them up.

For some reason I thought making a huge ball of snow was a lot harder. But all you need to do is start with one no bigger than your hand, and just keep on rolling.

Most people start all kinds of personal improvement projects, and get discouraged. If you go to your local gym a week after New Year’s it will be packed. But go a month later and they’ll be the regular old people.

Why is this?

People have HUGE goals. They start of with HUGE motivation. Then they push themselves WAAAAAY to fast to soon.

Then they realize there’s NO WAY they can keep this up, so they quit.

But when you start ANYTHING, the most important thing is momentum. Instead of going balls-to-the-wall, start of VERY slow.

Instead of trying to lose 500 pounds in the next week, for example, shoot for fifty in the next year. That’s only a pound a week!

Even if you don’t know what you want out of life, try SOMETHING different each day. This will build up your “trying something different” muscle.

Even if it’s eating in a strange restaurant, or ordering a different drink at your local coffee shop.

The absolute most essential ingredient in ANY kind of self development program is consistent ACTION.

Not consistent planning, or consistent excuse making or consistent whatever.

ACTION is everything.

How much action? Just a little bit. Not so much you need super human willpower to keep going.

Enough to look back on your day, and think to yourself:

“That was interesting. I wonder what I can try tomorrow?”

If you try something every single day, and keep a journal, you WILL amaze yourself in a few months.

In a few years, you’ll not only be MILES ahead of where you were, but pretty much everybody else on Planet Earth, who spend most of their time on Facebook complaining that nothing ever happens to them.

It all starts with small, easy to take action.

Where to start?

Here are some ideas:

Interpersonal Resonance

How To Kill Social Anxiety

Be The Thing People Want

I went to this party once, and I was supposed to meet a friend there.

But just as I pulled up, he called me to tell me he couldn’t make it.

And the party was a friend of HIS friend, so I didn’t know anybody.

So, what did I do?

I played a game with myself. I looked at my watch, and gave myself an hour to get everybody’s name.

Did I make it? No, I didn’t.

But the reason I didn’t was pretty interesting. Seems that just by setting that internal goal, I was getting “caught up” in conversations with people. Pretty soon I started to think to myself, “Geez, I need to get out of this conversation, as I still have people to meet.”

Other times, I’ve gone places, even with friends, and just sat there looking around.

Waiting for something to happen.

And what happens if you sit around waiting for something to happen? It usually doesn’t happen.

Because when it comes to social situations, that seems to be everybody’s game plan. Wait around for somebody else to make the first move.

Since in the first instance, I was the one making the first move in every single conversation, people didn’t want to let me go.

I was the “thing” that they were waiting to happen.

Now, you don’t have to meet everybody every time you go out. But ANYTHING is better than just kind of winging it and hoping something happens.

Think of going on a mental scavenger hunt. Try and collect things, like three hobbies, three jobs that people have, or anything else like that.

That way, you’ll remove the BIGGEST social fear people have. And that is rejection.

If all you’re doing is trying to find three different hobbies, the ONLY way you can get rejected is if nobody has any hobbies, or everything thinks their hobby is a matter of national security and won’t tell you unless you’ve been cleared by the CIA.

See, when most people talk to somebody interesting, they really don’t have a specific goal, other than to “be accepted.”

So long as you choose any other goal, that will push your default fears to the back of your brain, where they won’t bother you.

And once you start walking up and talking to people, they will see YOU as the most charismatic and magnetic person in the room.

To learn more tricks like this, check this out:

Interpersonal Resonance