There are two phases of life. Being a kid, and being an adult.

Little kids only get stuff when the grown ups give it to them. Adults only get stuff when they get out there and interact with other adults, and create some kind of mutually beneficial exchange.

Of course, there are some adults who get things by stealing, or manipulating others. Hopefully you’re not one of those.

Not only because it’s immoral, but it’s a horrible strategy that only works in the short term.

So, how do you get whatever you want as a rational thinking adult?

First, you’ve got to figure out what you want. Then you’ve got to find somebody that has it. Then you’ve got to figure out what they want. If you’ve each got what each other wants, then you can make a trade.

Luckily, in advanced economies, we’ve created money that can get around this “coincidence of wants.”

But this only works if you can pay somebody money for what you want, and then they can go and pay somebody that same money for what they want.

But what if what you want is not based on money? What if you’re after a relationship with an attractive woman?

You’ve still got to play the same game. Figure out what she wants, figure out what you want, and see if there’s a basis for exchange.

Granted, in relationships most of this happens unconsciously. Which means you’ve got to just get in there and see what happens. If you both have what each other want, you’ll feel it. If you don’t, you won’t.

But you’ve still got to get out there and interact with plenty of girls. Interact with them enough to find out if there’s a mutual benefit.

Generally speaking, this can happen after the first couple of face to face conversations. Get togethers, dates, whatever you want to call them.

Of course, this requires that you know what you want. And you have a pretty good idea of what you’ve got to offer. And the conversational and social skills to not only elicit these from her, and demonstrate what you’ve got.

Again, it’s crucial to understand that most of this is NOT based on any kind of overtly measurable quantities. If you show her your resume or portfolio, it probably won’t go over well.

However, you must have something in your brain besides merely a hope that she’ll accept you.

You’ve got to have an idea of what you’re looking for, and an established line of communication between you and your intuition.

Naturally, this is like any other skill. To get really good at it, you’ve got to practice. How do you practice? Start talking to and dating plenty of cute girls, that’s how!

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