Most guys don’t know what to say when they talk to a girl. To be sure, walking up is one thing. But once you’ve stopped your approach, and she’s waiting for you to say something, it can get pretty nerve wracking.

There are a few ways to help. One way is to have a few opening questions. Not memorized patterns mind you, but just a few easy things to say, so you don’t have to come up with something on the spot.

To be sure, when you’re in the moment, you can easily riff off each other. She’ll say something that reminds you of something, which you’ll say, then that gets her thinking of something.

When both people feel relaxed and open enough to share whatever pops in their head, AND there’s plenty of stuff popping in each other’s heads, that’s a pretty good feeling. 

That’s when you’re creating that seemingly magical back and forth energy flow that can take on a life of its own. That’s when the minutes turn into hours, and before long you wonder where all the time has gone.

But getting to that point isn’t always easy, nor is it automatic. It can only happen between two people that have enough in common, and enough natural rapport.

One way to test the waters, when you first start the conversation, is to simply know a few easy things to say.

The best thing is to simply pace the situation. This means to say things that are absolutely true. Things that she’ll naturally agree with. When you do so, mix in a little about yourself, your opinions, your feelings.

This is to let her know that you’re not going to put her on the spot and make her do all the talking.

Something like this is pretty good:

“Hi, I saw you across the room and I thought you seemed interesting, so I decided to come over and introduce myself and maybe find out more about you. My name’s George.”

You’re not putting her on the spot, you just said what happened, so you’re not saying anything crazy. You’ve said something about your intentions, AND you’ve said your name. And because you said “maybe” there’s not any kind of pressure.

Then you simply see how she responds. If she looks like she’s under attack, she’s not feeling it. If she clearly closes off her body language, she’s not feeling it. If she looks around desperately for her friends or a cop, she’s not feeling it.

But if she looks at you, faces you, and gives you her name, then it’s on.

Just keep it easy. Talk about easy stuff. Explain what you’re doing there. Avoid direct questions.

If you say something, and she naturally reciprocates, that’s a GOOD sign. If you’re talking and she’s listening politely, but not really adding much to the conversation, that’s not exactly bad, but it’s not that great, either.

What you’re looking for are girls that are comfortable enough around you, and self confident enough around you, to actively participate in the conversation.

You find someone like this, you’re doing pretty good.

mindpersuasion.com