If you’ve ever played any kind of competitive sports, then you know what it’s like to “fake” somebody out.
You’ve got the ball, and you pretend to go one way.
If you’re congruent enough, they believe you, then you can quickly shift the other day.
This looks pretty good if you can pull it off.
Most people can’t.
It also feels pretty embarrassing to fall for this.
This is the strategy behind the curve ball.
Make it look like a ball, so they don’t swing. But it turns out to be a strike. (or the other way around).
If fact, most pitches are designed to be deceiving, unless you’re throwing pure heat.
The trickiest to throw (and to hit if it’s thrown correctly) is the knuckle ball.
It bounces all over the place, but it’s moving slowly.
Looks easy to hit, but it’s not. Quite the opposite.
Clearly, how well you deceive others in sports can help you win.
But in life, the opposite will happen. If you purposely try to deceive others, you’ll land in hot water.
You’ll develop a reputation, nobody will want to do business with you.
Or worse, you might get sued or end up in jail.
Scientists tell us we have a highly evolved “cheating” filter.
Meaning we are really good at sniffing out social cheats.
In hunter gatherer societies, we didn’t need it. Everybody knew everybody else.
But when societies started getting really big, it became easy to con people.
Which meant people had to develop a “sixth sense” for people who were con artists.
Unfortunately, sometimes this can be a hair trigger.
Meaning we feel like we’ve been conned, when we really haven’t.
This happens when we “expect” something, but don’t get it.
We “assume” that we “should” get something because of commonly understood social rules or something.
Like a guy will flirt with a girl. She gives him her number. Then they go on a date, but she’s not interested any more.
This certainly FEELS like she “tricked” him.
But in reality, she was attracted, then she wasn’t. Happens all the time. Nobody tricked anybody.
One thing that can make it worse is if you are PREDISPOSED to see “trickery” where none exists.
This comes from your childhood experience. If you EXPECT people to manipulate and take advantage of you, you’ll see it where it doesn’t really exist.
Likewise, if you EXPECT people to be friendly and kind, you’ll see THAT as well.
And since our BEHAVIOR creates our world much more than we realize, we can be trapped in a horrible world if we don’t address these underlying issues.
Meaning we need to understand that the world is only a reflection of our expectations. Since these are largely unconscious, it take can a while to uncover and change them.
But when you do, you’ll literally be living in a completely different world.
Much better. Much friendlier, and much more prosperous.