Most people hate to be micro-managed.
Meaning that your boss (or husband or wife) is standing right over your shoulder.
Telling you exactly what to do and exactly how to do it.
Humans are hard wired to have a strong need to feel in control.
Only when WE decide WE want somebody else to tell us what to do, is it OK.
This is why unasked for advice is almost always taken the wrong way.
There you are merrily going along, and some goof comes and tries to tell you what to do.
Think about what this means. They think they know MORE about the situation than you do.
Which may be true, but part of being human is discovering and learning on our own, instead of having some busybody sticking their nose in our business.
Which is why most of us absolutely HATE salespeople.
They are pushy, obnoxious and are always telling us THEIR reasons why we should do things.
If they are being sneaky, they might use some manipulation tactics. You want to buy something for $200. They try and sell you something for $500. They push it really hard. Finally, you “win” and buy the one in the middle for “only” $300.
Most people are so turned off by these ultra pushy and manipulative sales people that they’d never DREAM of working in sales, despite the ENORMOUS amount of money you can make with very little education.
However, even if you aren’t in sales, you ARE going to have to persuade people.
You might persuade that girl or guy to date you.
Or that boss to hire you instead of the fifty other candidates.
Or your wife or husband to watch and action movie instead of a romance.
The truth is that it’s very difficult to squeeze through life without having some kind of persuasion skills.
Luckily, you don’t have to be pushy, or manipulative, or sleazy.
You can use THEIR ideas to help them understand YOUR point of view.
And when they finally agree to do what you want them to, it will be THEIR idea.
They won’t feel conned, they won’t feel tricked, and they won’t feel suckered.
They probably won’t even realize you “helped” them come to a decision.
And they’ll start to associate YOU with their decisions to get what they want.
Which can help out in a lot of ways.
To be sure, doing this is a skill, and it takes practice.
There’s no magic words or shortcuts.
But it is a skill that few people know exist, let alone know how to use effectively.