In Japan they have an expression called “reading the air.”
It means to understand the subtext of a conversation.
Here’s a pretty common one. Guy and his girl are at a party.
Some other girl comes up and starts talking to him. He thinks it’s just a normal conversation.
His girlfriend, on the other hand, sees it as direct threat against their relationship.
Since females are much better at “reading” body language than guys are, she can see all the subtle cues of flirtation.
To her, this “other woman” is completely throwing herself at him.
Later on, they get into a fight. She says, “How could you do that?!”
He says, “Wha??”
And she later complains with her friends about men being so dense.
Maybe you’ve been in this situation before (on one side or the other).
The truth is that in ALL human communication, there are MANY levels. Most we ourselves don’t even know about.
One of my favorite lines is from a Tom Clancy book, “The Sum of All Fears.”
About a third of the way through the book, he explained what it meant. When you get a group of experts around a table, you don’t get the sum of their experience. You get the sum of their fears.
Think about that next time you’re in a meeting. Everybody tends to be most concerned with keeping bad things from happening AS MUCH as trying to make something good happen. (Bigger profits, more market share, etc.)
One of the big breakthroughs of NLP was that it leveraged Noam Chomsky’s theory of “transformational grammar.”
Meaning you could look beyond the “surface structure” of what people were saying, and see what they REALLY mean.
Their fears, their desires, what they are going to do next, etc.
If all you do is pay attention to the surface structure, you can easily run into trouble.
But when you can not only see what the other person really means, as well as communicate on that level, it’s like getting conversational super powers.
Even if you never want to do any persuading or influencing, it makes social situations a LOT more enjoyable.
Like putting on X-Ray glasses and seeing into people’s brains.
This is exactly what happens when you start writing out the Covert Hypnosis language patterns.
After a while you’ll see a whole new world that few people know exist.
And since you’ll be able to read people a lot better, you’ll be much more likely to create fantastic relationships, for WHATEVER reason you want.