Tag Archives: social status

Stop Getting Sucker Punched

One of the biggest causes of human suffering is an instinct mismatch.

Take hunger for example.

In a hunter-gatherer environment, if you didn’t the tendency to eat as much as you could whenever there was food, you didn’t have much of a chance of surviving.

Since food was limited. When you had some, you had to get as many calories in you (and ON YOU in terms of energy storage) as possible.

But nowadays, that’s a very dangerous strategy. For obvious reasons.

A lot of our instincts were GREAT for primitive times, not so much today.

A couple of these are authority and social proof.

Countless nations have gone nuts because they had a crazy leader (authority) that everybody rallied behind (social proof).

Even today, it’s VERY HARD to admit that we ourselves are influenced by these.

We LIKE to think we are rational, consciously driven, awake, etc.

But next time you’re considering doing something, ask yourself these questions:

Would you still do it if NOBODY else was doing it?

Would you still do it if there were ZERO authority figures behind it?

This is hard. Most of us don’t like to think of ourselves as pack animals.

But as I’m sure you know, many of the greatest inventors, scientists, researchers and explorers of all time didn’t wait around for social or authority approval.

Often times they did so despite not having ANY of that.

Another thing that can in the way of living a fulfilled life is emotional blind spots.

Things that suddenly pop up out of nowhere, and feel like a sucker punch.

Consciously, you have no idea why these things bother you.

They SUBCONSCIOUSLY remind you of some pretty scary things that happened as a kid.

When you were young, inexperienced, and were TOTALLY DEPENDENT on those around you.

The only problem is your lightning fast brain makes such fast associations, that something that is even SIMILAR today to something that happened long ago is going to FEEL just as scary.

Often times without having a rational explanation why.

Kind of like when you KNOW you just ate an hour ago, but you can’t help opening another box of cookies.

The way to “handle” your instincts is to manage them.

The way to “handle” those emotional blind spots is to RE-PROGRAM them.

This is much, much easier. You won’t have to manage them, since they’ll disappear.

Not like your HUNGER will ALWAYS be there.

Those emotional blind spots can be ERASED.

For Good.

Learn How:

Emotional Freedom

How To Watch Frame Games

Listening in to other people’s conversations can tell you a lot about human nature.

Now, I don’t mean sneaking over to your neighbor’s house and putting you ear to their door.

I mean when you’re hanging out with your friends.

It can be a lot of fun to take the “observer” position from time to time.

Keep in mind this is different than using that as an excuse for not getting involved.

But next time you’re hanging out with three or four people, keep quiet for a few minutes and just notice the exchange.

Notice how people “put their ideas out there,” notice people’s eye movements and facial expressions when they speak, and more importantly, when they finish speaking.

Some people quickly look around, hoping their idea is accepted, or hoping it’s not rejected.

Some people look away, like they can’t bear to see.

Some people stare at others, as if they are aggressively daring others to contradict them.

Now, this all happens subconsciously, and few people will EVER be aware that this is going on.

But it is.

Always.

Evolutionary scientists tell us that all human interaction is a kind of “frame war,” which is a remnant of our evolutionary past.

When we were hunter-gatherers, our social status was absolutely crucial.

Those that had MORE social status got more sex, and food. And then passed on those “get more social status genes” to more kids.

Amongst animals, there’s an idea of a “pecking order.” It literally comes from chickens, who are in a group with a certain hierarchy. The “dominant’ ones get to eat, or peck first when food shows up. Then on down the line.

Whenever a new member is introduced into the group, there’s a kind of “domination showdown” to establish the NEW pecking order.

Our human instincts are based on operating within a group of about 300 people.

Which means all the people you interact with are, on a caveman level, people who you are UNSURE about, with regards to THEIR level in the pecking order.

Which is why you see all these “frame wars” in conversations, even amongst friends.

Because part of our subconscious is ALWAYS trying to move up the social chain.

Now, if you point this out to people, they will deny it. Because admitting consciously that you want more social status sounds pretty shallow. And admitting this out loud will actually LOWER your social status.

Which is why EVERYBODY is hard wired to keep it on the down low.

Which is why watching people talk is so much fun. Like watching a boxing match.

Of course, there are plenty of ways to INCREASE your ability to carefully and COVERTLY move up the social chain, without anybody knowing.

They’ll just know there’s something different about YOU.

Something that makes them want to agree with you. Support you. Follow you.

Think that would be useful?

Learn How:

Frame Control