Approach anxiety is a common barrier to successful relationship creation. And often times, guys don’t even admit they’ve got approach anxiety. Humans are pretty good at lying to ourselves in order to cover up uncomfortable truths.

We say things like, “She’s not my type,” or, “I’m not really looking to hook up,” or “I’m just here chilling, I don’t really want to talk to anybody.”

So even admitting to yourself you’d LIKE to approach, but feel to anxious is making a huge leap most guys never will.

Even then, there’s a misconception. Guys tend to think they are afraid of rejection, but that’s not really the case. What’s really nerve racking is being in the spotlight.

Approach a girl, especially from a distance away, feels very similar, on a gut level, to giving a speech. You feel that all eyes are on you, and if you make a mistake, everybody’s going to know and adjust their perception of you accordingly.

This is a holdover from our hunter-gatherer days, when the collective social opinion of us was absolutely crucial to our survival.

Even though it’s not any more, because it’s a deep instinct, you can’t really “switch it off” any more than you can “switch off” being hungry or horny.

So, how do you deal with it?

Very slowly.

Meaning you don’t walk over there slowly, but you simply recognize it’s going to take some time to get over that uncomfortable “everybody’s looking at me” feeling when approaching.

But if you start small, and slowly expand your comfort zone, it WILL happen.

How do you do that?

Luckily, there are plenty of ways.

Public speaking is one. Joining your local toastmasters and giving a speech once a week will get you right in a hurry.

Or you could simply see “flirting with girls” as some kind of weekly “exercise” to do. Not because you want any kind of tangible results.

Kind of like jogging on the treadmill. You’re not running on the treadmill because you think you’re going somewhere, you’re doing it to build up your endurance and burn away some of that flab.

If you did things like purposely go out to flirt and say “hi,” you’d slowly get over that social anxiety. If you coupled this with some weekly public speaking, it would happen even quicker.

So long as you acknowledge that while you can’t “switch it off” you certainly CAN slowly “turn it down,” you’ll be in good shape.

Pretty soon you’ll be in such good shape that walking over and talking to a cute girl feels perfectly normal.

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