Monthly Archives: December 2014

How To Destroy Approach Anxiety

Destroy Approach Anxiety

Kick Fear To The Curb

I like you but I don’t need you.

This is the perfect attitude to have when talking to girls. Of course, you should never say this. Feeling needed is a very deep  and very ancient human desire. Telling somebody straight out that you don’t need them is a horrible and painful slap in the emotional face.

But, on the other hand, coming on too strong with need is really, really creepy. Any guy that expresses too much need is going to destroy any attraction that may exist.

So, in the beginning, especially when you’re first talking to her, your actions should speak much louder than your words.

And your actions should proclaim that you like her. You like looking at her. You like listening to her talk. You like her smell, her energy, her movements.

But you’re perfectly fine without her.

And on top of that, you need to also project the “energy” that the whole purpose of that entire conversation is for you to find out more about her, and for her to find out more about you.

Not to trick her into sleeping with you, or con her by projecting an image of yourself that you’re really not.

Notice all this has to do with inner game, not any kind of outer language technology.

There’s absolutely no set of “language patterns” that will project these ideas or beliefs.

Only your inner state can do that.

Inside Out, Not Outside In

How Do You Develop That Inner State?

First, see your life as the most important part of your life. Sounds silly but many people tend put things outside of themselves as very important to their lives.

Secondly, have some standards beyond physical beauty. Actually write out a list of things that your ideal girlfriend or lover has to have, besides her looks and sexy body. Personality traits. Beliefs. Ideas about her future. Levels of her self confidence.

Having a set of objective standard will make it much easier to approach.

Why?

If all you need are good looks, then you’ve accepted her before you even talk to her. Which means the whole conversation is about you hoping she accepts you. This is nerve racking, to say the least.

But when the conversation is only a means of discovering who she is, it will be a lot more fun.

So take some time. Figure out what you want in life, outside of women and relationships.

Then take some time, figuring out what you want in a woman, and in a relation.

Then have fun making it happen.

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control

Why Social Magnetism Precedes Language

Magnetism and Charisma

Ancient Secrets Of Charisma

Most of us assume that communication is to simply transfer information.

You’ve got some info in your brain, and you’ve got to get into the brains of others.

You come up with an idea, speak it out loud, see that other people understand it, and that’s that.

Right?

Maybe it’s not so simple.

The thing about something as complicated as human interaction and communication is it’s hard to tell sometimes between “means” and “ends.” The intention and the process by which we get that intention met. Or our outcome and our behavior.

Like it would seem that our intention is to convey information, and the process by which we do that is communication.

However, is that all there is?

Some psychologists, especially those focused on linguistics (like Steven Pinker, for example) believe that there’s a deeper purpose for simply “transmitting information.”

Your behavior is speaking, and the outcome is to get your idea inside their head.

But why do you want to do that?

According to Pinker, and others on the same page, the reason is ALWAYS to influence the other person in some way. That’s the ultimate goal.

We want them to do something (or not do something) or believe something (or not believe something).

In reality, the “transfer of information” is really a means to a deeper end.

What kinds of things do we normally want others to do?

They range from simple, subconscious actions to complicated conscious and extended behaviors.

Short term subconscious things like smile at us, give us their attention and companionship, validate us, and all kinds of other things.

Complex, long term and conscious things like buy our products, hire us, give us their phone numbers and start relationships with us.

Social Interactions Precede Language

Here’s something else to ponder.

Humans have been living in groups, and interacting with each other long, long before language was even invented.

So the structure of human interactions, relationship building, soliciting cooperation and going after common goals HAS to be based on something much, much deeper than language.

As complex as human grammar is, it’s really just icing on the cake.

What’s underneath?

It’s hard to measure, hard to describe. But you know when somebody’s got it, and when they don’t.

Somebody that’s got it can simply make a suggestion, and everybody’s on board. They usually drop whatever’s on their minds, and follow the leader.

Somebody that doesn’t have it can write the most eloquent words ever spoken, but when they speak them out loud, they fall flat. The words make sense, but for some reason, other people aren’t “feeling it.”

What’s that deeper quality?

More importantly, do YOU have it?

Get It:

Frame Control

The Paradox Of Becoming A Natural Seducer

How To Turn On Your Magic Love Juice

How To Boost Your Game

Most guys would love to become a natural. The guy who can just walk up to any girl, any time and just say whatever’s on his mind. Then just sit back and watch the girl transform from passive observer to drooling desirer of love.

How do you become that guy?

The answer’s pretty simple, but HOW to do it is kind of a paradox.

The answer, of course, is to practice. Picking up gorgeous girls is a skill, just like any other. To get better at ANYTHING, all you’ve got to do is practice.

HOW to practice is something that most guys never consider. Most guys see a girl, go up and get blown out, and then later convince themselves it was “practice.”

Or maybe they start to practice, but end up talking to some super cutie that feels like a life or death conversation.

Sure, if the game’s on the line and you’re making a do or die free-throw, you’ll feel like crap if you miss.

But if you’re just practicing free throws, missing won’t hurt for squat.

That’s the paradox of practicing game. In most guys’ minds, there’s no difference between practice game and real game.

Imagine this:

You’re practicing free throws, just messing around with your boys. You make one. Then another, then another. You’re about to take your fourth shot, when suddenly and magically your transformed to the championship  playoff game. You check the scoreboard, you’re down by one point, and there’s one second left.

Now how do you feel?

This is what happens if you blur the line between “real game” and “practice game.”

Practice Makes Perfect

How Can You Practice Game?

Choose an outcome. One that’s consistent with your level. Eye contact, smiles, whatever. Then go out and ONLY practice that aspect. 

NOTHING ELSE.

For example, if you’re having trouble flirting, simply practice smiling at girls while holding eye contact.

Tell yourself you’ll go out and do that fifty times. Only smile while holding eye contact.

Nothing else.

As soon as you lock eyes and smile, eject, and move on to the next practice target.

This goes with all other levels. Opening. Number closing, kiss closing. Everything.

You’ll find this is the HARDEST thing you’ll ever do.

Why?

Because once you lock eyes and smile, she may smile back. And EVERYTHING in your brain will want you to keep going. Keep smiling, go and talk to her, etc.

Don’t do this. This is practice.

If you can resist your natural tendency to keep charging forward until you get rejected, your game will quickly shoot to natural levels of easy seduction.

The ONLY thing you need to remember is whether or not is real game, or practice game.

Define that BEFORE you leave your house, and you’ll be good.

This will also help:

Frame Control

Metaphysical Secret Sauce of Success

Your Vision Is The Most Crucial Element Of Your Success

Do You Have Your Own Vision?

What’s the difference between goals and visions?

Each of those probably has lots of different words to describe them, but I think it’s important to understand what each one is.

A goal is something that’s specific. Something you’ll know when you get there. Losing ten pounds, making X amount of money per month, being in a relationship.

These are all things that you KNOW if you have them, and you KNOW if you don’t.

Visions, on the other hand, are much more hard to pin down. 

You can think of goals as certain and specific places. Visions, on the other hand, are more like directions.

Of course, the right goals will support you in your visions. Losing weight can certainly be proof that you’re on the right path to a “healthy lifestyle,” which is much harder to define.

And just as important as it is to have goals, it’s even more important to have visions.

If you think of the most successful people you have ever heard of, they got where they are because they had visions they stuck to. 

Usually for decades.

Your Life Is Only Up To You

Your Vision Will Take You Anywhere

Great inventors usually keep inventing stuff because of their visions, rather than their individual goals.

Ultra wealthy business people get there not because they have a specific goal of making a million dollars, but because they have a broad vision to keep creating things that people will gladly pay for.

Take Bill Gates for example. Before he was the richest nerd on the planet, he was an entrepreneur. When he was still a teenager, he was already finding ways to make and sell stuff.

He sold the idea of Windows to BEFORE he created it. That’s how much he believed in his Vision.

The truth of success in life is pretty simple.

Choose a vision. A powerful vision that will guide you for most of your life. Get started, and no matter what happens, never, ever give up.

Most people don’t have any kind of a vision, other than make it through the next couple weeks.

The few people that DO have visions, rarely get started, or rarely think of them as more than wishes.

But when you take your vision, and make it your overriding purpose in life, something will happen.

People will notice something “different” about you. You won’t be like the billions of other aimless souls wandering the Earth waiting to be told what to do.

You will have a true purpose in life. Something that comes through the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you look at people.

This will make you stand out in a room filled with average folks. So much that people will look at you and think, “I don’t know who that is or what they’re doing, but I’d like to help.”

This is what happens when you create a vision, and the powerful frame to wrap around it.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Seduction You’ll Never Learn From Gurus

What's This Guy Know That You Don't?

Inside Secrets Of Natural Game

Here’s a secret the dating gurus will NEVER tell you.

What’s the most important thing you need when learning about attracting and dating the girls of your dreams?

Hint: It’s not found in a book, a seminar or a DVD home study course.

I think you already know that it’s EXPERIENCE.

The more experience you have, the better you’ll do. Every single time you walk into an unfamiliar situation your brain quickly scans your history.

Then based on your behaviors in the past, and how well you did (or didn’t do) you’ll come up with both a “feeling” and a strategy for what to do.

Now, some guys walk up to hundreds of women, and they don’t succeed with ANY of them.

Why?

Perhaps because they don’t vary their approach. They don’t try different things.

Here’s the secret of success in ANY area of life.

Ready?

This is Guaranteed By The Goddess Herself

Guaranteed Success In Anything

Figure out what you want. Try something. Did you get closer? Do more of that. Did you get further away? Do something different.

This works with investing, with playing sports, with music, and with interpersonal relationships with gorgeous girls you’d like in between the sheets.

Now, you certainly CAN augment your success by REFERRING to any number of available learning material out there. But only IN BETWEEN real world experiences.

The problem is many guys tend to SUBSTITUTE learning and studying game for practicing game.

Consider two guys.

One guy knows absolutely NOTHING about game. But he is an approach machine. He remembers everything, and keeps improving his skills based only on his experience.

Guy number two has a PhD in game. But he never leaves the forums, and is always spouting off about the latest ninja technique. Or worse, he’s busily picking apart every other guy’s attempts to maintain his internet credibility and dominance.

Which guy do you think is going to get the best results?

Guy number one, of course.

Naturally, if you combine the best of both worlds, real world practice based on theoretical after the fact break down, you’ll be a super ninja seducer in no time.

One thing that will make you even better is taking on the mental attitude of somebody who can walk into any crowd and literally OWN the room.

It takes some mental practice, and some inner work, but it’s well worth it.

Learn How:

Frame Control

How To Leverage A Lack Of Knowledge

Don't Wait Too Long To Act!

How To Benefit From Not Knowing

The human brain is incredibly fast, but not so accurate.

Long, long time ago, Mother Nature had a choice to make. Humans could either have accurate brains that were really slow, or inaccurate brains that were really fast.

And because we were in an environment with a bunch of instinctive driven predators, taking a long time to come to a decision wasn’t the best strategy.

This is why we tend to generalize, delete, and distort, as they say in NLP.

This is why we also never really have anything close to a full understanding of what’s going on around us.

For the most part, this works out pretty well. While it is a good idea to think things through a little bit, and avoid leaping before you look, it’s never a good idea to think too long.

One pretty good skill to have is a sense of balance. You need to know enough about a situation to feel you’ve got a decent chance of coming out ahead, but you’ve also got to be able to move forward when the time comes, even though you may not have all the information.

Maintaining Balance Is A Delicate Process

Easy To Lose Balance

Naturally, it’s easy to over or under compensate. Too much thinking leaves you stuck. Too little thinking gets you into trouble.

Those that consistently act when they know just enough to get going generally do much better.

They realize that you’ll never know everything. They also realize that even if you mess up, you’ll gain valuable insight. Not only about the world, but about yourself.

Make no mistake, this is a very, very rare skill. I used to know a guy that barely escaped from a Southeast Asian country as it collapsed into communism. He was a genius in electrical engineering.

But he was also able to make decisions when nobody else could. Pretty soon he was the “go to guy” whenever his company was up against a fork in the road.

Because of this skill, this ability to balance knowledge and risk, and move forward with confidence, he was paid a LOT more than if he’d ONLY been a genius electrical engineer.

This is one of those rare “meta skills” that few people even know exist. One that will take you much, much farther than any “content-based” skill.

The ability to act. To make decisions. To learn from every action.

If you can do this, the world will follow.

Get Started:

Frame Control

Secrets Of Female Attraction

She Doesn't Care What You Look LIke

Why Looks Don’t Matter To Girls

Most guys, when they think of their ideal girl, think in terms of looks.

This isn’t because men are “visual” like many people have claimed. Everything that has to do with sex and reproduction is based on evolution.

The bottom line is that every generation there were small changes in our DNA makeup. Not programmed in by nature or aliens, but just random copying errors.

Changes that added benefits were kept. Changes that took away benefits or caused damage were quickly eliminated. (Those that had these didn’t live long enough to reproduce.)

If you know anything about marketing, then you know what a “split test” is. It’s when you take your ad, change something about it, and run it against the original, just to see which works better.

You can think of evolution as one LOOOONG split test. And WE are the winners.

So, back to the question.

Why do guys think  mostly in terms of looks when they think of their ideal girl?

This is most definitely NOT politically correct, but it’s scientifically and biologically correct.

Men want the most suitable mothers for their potential children. This means big boobs, smooth skin, thin legs, flat stomach, and youth.

Why youth? 

Because if you get together with a young girl, you’ll have more babies than if you get together with an older woman. It’s pure mathematics. Nothing else. Evolution made more copies of people that liked young girls, since guys that liked young girls made more copies of themselves.

Step Aside, Butch!

Mother Nature Always Wins

Mother Nature is cruelly efficient.

Anyhow, anything that makes up a suitable mate, from male standpoint, can be determined by looking at her.

This generally includes ANY sign of youth, and ANY sign of health. Boobs, teeth, hair, lips, legs, whatever.

One glance across the room will tell a guy everything he needs to know.

What about girls?

Do looks matter as much?

No. 

They do not.

Why?

Think about what’s important to a woman. After she gets pregnant, she’s out for a couple years. That means her man needs to be out taking care of business.

This means being a good hunter. Which means being able to be a strong social leader.

Why?

Any time the guys go out hunting, the dude in charge is going to bring home the most meat. The dude at the bottom is going to get the leftovers.

No woman wants to be helpless for two years while living off the leftovers.

All women want to have their man being the leader, and bringing home the most meat.

How can they tell  he’s the leader?

How he carries himself. How he speaks to others. How he handles criticism. His confidence. His body language. What he believes about himself and his future.

Can she tell this by looking?

Nope.

How does she tell?

By interacting. By seeing him under pressure. By seeing how he is around his boys.

How can you become a social leader? A TRUE alpha?

Here’s How:

Frame Control

Do You Follow The Leader?

We Are Still Governed By Ancient Laws

Ancient Secrets Of Social Authority

There’s been lots of interesting studies done on how people respond to others.

A few social scientists have made names for themselves doing pretty interesting “experiments.”

In one experiment, they took a bunch of guys all pretty random, and sent them out into the social club scene in a large city.

They followed them with “data collectors” who only asked one question. They would walk around, find people who remembered these guys. They’d flash a quick picture, and then ask the person, as they remembered them, to quickly rank them on a scale of 1-10.

So each particular guy had his own average. But then they had them behave two completely different ways when they walked in the place.

One way was to walk in with shoulders slumped, eyes down. The second way was to walk in with shoulders back, head up and eyes forward.

On the 1-10 scale, the difference was two points. Simply by walking more confidently, 6’s became 8’s, and 8’s became 10’s.

In another experiment, they sent the same group of guys out to restaurants, a bunch of different times each. (This was a long while ago, the study was done in the 70’s).

Each time, the guys said they’d left their wallets at home, and asked if it would be OK to write a check.

In half of the experiments, they were dressed professionally. In the other half, they weren’t.

And just like you’d expect, the professional looking guys had no problems. The casual guys did.

Authority Exists First On The Inside

Authority Existed Before Clothes

Humans have a long, long history of social behavior. One of the ways that manifests itself is how we respond to authority.

When a person is radiating authority, our conscious minds just kind of “shut off” and we pretty much do what we’re told.

Doctors, cops, anybody that looks official will trigger this response.

But consider this.

That automatic response has been built into us for thousands of years. LONG before they even invented clothes that “made the man.”

Long before we even knew what a doctor or a cop was, we still followed those that carried themselves with authority.

Sure, the right clothing helps. But it’s certainly not necessary.

Since the beginning of human history, we’ve been pretty good at sniffing out leaders, and following them.

Everybody is born to be a follower, but few people know how to step up and be a leader.

Do you?

Learn How:

Frame Control

Fractionation Seduction Secrets

How To Go Faster Deeper Than Ever Before

Accelerate Your Progress

Much has been spoken about the idea of “fractionation.” This is a technique from traditional hypnosis, but once you understand it,  you’ll see it in a lot of places.

It’s a vague “concept” rather than a step by step procedure. Which means that once you get what it means, you’ll be able to apply it to a lot of different areas.

So, what is it?

It all started when a hypnotist noticed that every time an old client would come to visit, he would go into trance a lot easier. The first time they were always nervous, and reluctant to release conscious control.

But with each successive visit, it got easier and easier to put them under.

So the next natural step was to try this within one single session. Meaning the hypnotist would put them under, bring them back up, then put them under again, then back up, etc., etc.

Each time they’d go deeper.

It’s called “fractionation” simply because he’s taking one single trance, and breaking it up into smaller pieces.

This happens all the time.

When you read a book from your favorite author, each time you start a new novel, it’s easier to “lose yourself” in the story. Same goes for other artists. Every new thing they “produce,” it’s easier to slip into that special “enjoying-art” trance we all love so much when we watch TV, movies, read books, listen to music, etc.

It’s also why, traditionally, it usually takes a few “dates” to get to first, second or third base.

Same with sales. Selling a customer cold is pretty hard. But when you see the same customer a week later, fractionation kicks in and it’s MUCH easier to close them.

Get Her Dreaming About You

Fractionation – Perfect For Seduction

So, how does this work in seduction?

Many ways!

The first is when you vary your language. First you use hypnotic language, then you use regular language. Keep going back and forth, and pretty soon she’ll be so deep she won’t get her mind off you.

However, this can require a lot of knowledge of covert hypnosis, which takes a lot of practice. So you can simply think of talking about things like “her future” and then regular stuff.

Any time you get a girl talking about her ideal future, while she’s looking at you, this is going to have a really good result.

But it can be hard for her to talk about her future if she’s just met you.

So talk about something easy in her future. Then talk about normal stuff. Then talk about something else in her future (NOT the same thing.) Then normal stuff. Every time she goes back to talking about her future, it will get easier and easier.

This also works with building rapport. Consciously build rapport, then pull back. Go back and forth, and every time you build rapport, by mirroring body language and speech rates, she’ll go much deeper.

You can also do this by getting her to follow you. (This is another trick savvy salespeople have known for years.)

First, get her to move a couple feet. Then get her to move to a different area in the building. Then take her outside (or inside). Then take her to a nearby location (waffle house, coffee shop, whatever).

Each time, she’ll go deeper into the idea of “following you.” And I’m sure you can figure out what comes next!

To make it much easier, check this out:

Frame Control

How To Train The World

If You Lead - The World Will Follow

How To Get Strangers To Follow You

Back in the days of Soviet Russia, folks had to stand in line for everything.

Once this guy, as an experiment, picked a random door, and then stood in front of it.

Didn’t take long before people started lining up behind him.

They’ve also done experiments in hospitals where “doctors” call up nurses, identify themselves as docs, and then tell them to do something a little strange, sometimes even dangerous. (There would be people to intercept them before they actually did anything.)

When I was a kid my brother would take me to baseball games. We’d get tickets in the cheap section, and then later on, when people started to leave, we’d “sneak down” into the more expensive seats. Since there were staff checking tickets, we had a pretty good plan.

He’d tell me to just walk in, acting like I was lost. Then he would follow me, telling the staff I was always “running away.” Then we’d find some empty seats and enjoy the rest of the game.

I’m sure you’ve found that you can get away with a lot if you simply act like you know what you’re doing.

Even if you’re going into a restricted area, if you act like you belong, chances are nobody will say boo.

In the movie “Catch Me If You Can” the main character spent his whole life acting like he knew what he was doing. He was teachers, doctors, lawyers, pilots, all simply because he acted as if he belonged.

Naturally, I’m not advocating lying or cheating or breaking the law, but there’s a lot of cool stuff you can “get away with” if you simply act like you belong.

Believe In Yourself - And The World Will Too

People Will Believe You If You Believe You

Job interviews, first dates, sales calls, high society get-together’s, you name it.

What if you took this to a completely higher level, a “Meta-Level”?

What if everywhere you went, you felt deep in your bones that you belonged? That you were right at home wherever you went?

What would you be able to do? What would you be able to get? What kinds of relationships could you create?

Well, you can. 

The real secret of “the world” out there is “they” don’t really have a clue who you are. 

Only you do.

Most people don’t really “get this,” but the world will respond to YOU, based on how YOU respond to you.

If you think you belong, so will everybody else.

If you think you don’t belong, so will everybody else.

Once you flip that “inner switch,” everything will take care of itself.

Learn how:

Frame Control