Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Trifecta Of Magic Relationship Generation

Have Yourself A Three Way!

One Thing – Three Benefits

There’s one thing that will skyrocket your game more than anything else.

This one thing will not only eliminate approach anxiety, but will make you much more attractive. And it will allow you to get girls that are much closer to what you’re looking for.

What’s more, the more you do this, the less chances you’ll get emotionally destroyed like some guys.

What is this thing?

Criteria.

Now, most guys don’t have ANY conscious criteria when looking for girls. All they need is that she be above a certain level of attractiveness, and she like him enough to date him and sleep with them.

Beyond that, they’re pretty much OK with anything. 

The funny thing about humans (both men AND women) is we are REALLY good at reverse rationalization. Now, many guys think this is purely a female trait, but in truth, we both do it. In fact, many neuro-biologists are starting to think one of the main purposes of the conscious mind is to be some kind of after the fact story teller. Making up stuff so our subconscious behavior fits into some kind of narrative that won’t drive us crazy.

How does this present itself in guys?

We see a girl, know absolutely nothing about her. We sleep with her. We still know pretty much nothing about her. But since our caveman brains are hard wired to do ANYTHING to keep a steady supply of sex close at hand, we’ll make up all kinds of stories about her that make her sound like the “perfect girl for us.”

No matter what her personality is like, no matter what she wants to do with her life, we somehow believe that’s EXACTLY the kind of girl we were looking for.

But this is just a self-hypnotic con. This is also why many relationships crash and burn. After that initial self-hypnosis wears off, we finally see who we’ve been with. And when we find we don’t have much in common, AND we aren’t sexually attracted any more, there’s no reason to stick around.

From both the male AND the female perspective.

How do we avoid this?

Simple. Have a list of non-physical criteria, AND the stones to act on it BEFORE you sleep with her.

Meaning if you meet an attractive lady who’s good to go, but she doesn’t meet your criteria, you’ve GOT to disqualify her.

This will make approaching girls easier since you aren’t sure if they’re qualified or not.

This will make you much more attractive because you’ll be a lot less needy and desperate.

This will make it less likely to get burned later as you’ll end up with somebody you’re actually compatible with.

Try it, and see.

Are You Truly Open To Receive?

Life Is All Give and Get

Ditch Those False Fears And Receive Truth

There’re a lot of ways we humans deceive ourselves.

In order to protect our egos, we tend see things that aren’t there, and not see things that are there.

One thing humans are pretty terrified of is risk. We don’t like doing something when we don’t know what’s going to happen.

It’s very common to think about doing something, or maybe even start doing something, and then the doubts start.

We start to worry about what people will think when they see us.

To be sure, the opinion of others is a HUGE motivating factor in pretty much everything we do.

Even when we’re alone, we can imagine that people are watching us and judging us.

Like if I told you right now the secret of getting rich quick was to hop on one foot in your room while slapping your belly and singing happy birthday in the highest voice possible, you wouldn’t do it.

Even if you saw video proof of money magically appearing, you’d start to do it, and then suddenly “feel stupid” as if the whole world was watching you.

Now, I’m not saying there’s any kind of magic money secret, but I’m sure you know the feeling of “feeling stupid” as if somebody were watching. Even when you’re all alone.

The truth is that social pressure can be wonderful and terrible. 

Long long time ago, our “tribe” was crucial to our survival. So if they started to gossip about us, or talk smack about us, we were in very bad shape.

And if they thought we were the bomb, we could get a lot more stuff (resources and love).

So Mother Nature gave us this super-hyper-sensitivity to the opinion of others. (Gee, thanks!)

This can be hard to shake.

So in order to avoid this at all costs, we tell ourselves all kinds of lies to keep us safe. To keep us from taking any action that might bring us some negative feedback from our peers.

From looking stupid.

We even spend thousands of dollars on seminars, techniques and secret methods passed down through the generations to avoid taking any kind of risk.

And looking stupid.

But here’s the thing. Most of your fears are false. Meaning that unless you are jumping off a cliff with a bunch of flying rattlesnakes chasing you, what you’re afraid of isn’t real.

And here’s another thing. Usually, when we’re scared of something that’s not real, we imagine something horrible happening.

But when we embrace our fears, walk right through them and do the thing anyway, usually the OPPOSITE of our fears take place.

In our minds, we are terrified of feedback.

But in reality, feedback is essential to our success. It tells us what works, so we can do more. It tells us what doesn’t work, so we can do less.

When you “open yourself to receive,” what you’re telling the world is that you’ll not only accept good feedback, but “negative” feedback as well.

When that happens, wonderful things happen.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

Secrets Of First Conversations With Girls

How To Avoid Those Pauses

Avoid The Uncomfortable Silences

There’s two pretty diverse schools of thought when it comes to talking to girls, especially the first time.

One is to simply be yourself. This is much more honest, organic, real and spontaneous. If it works, there’s nothing better than two people spontaneously exchanging that magical conversational energy flow.

On the other hand, it can be pretty terrifying. If you ever get to those uncomfortable silences, when nobody knows what to say, it’s a real rally-killer, as they say in baseball.

To combat this fear, many guys try memorized lines, and stories. Even the entire conversation is kind of like a stand up comedian doing his bit for the thousandth time in front of a laughing crowd.

Now, if you do this with girls, it can work and work well. Sure, the first few times you may stumble, but once you’ve got your rap down, it’s pretty repeatable. Walk up, spit out your ten minute set of patterns, and get her fired up to jump on your junk.

Of course, later on, she may wonder what the heck happened. That guy she met BEFORE having sex was super fluent and articulate, and now she’s wondering why you don’t talk with such energy, enthusiasm, or sentence structure.

If all you want is a string of one night stands, then Bob’s your uncle.

But if you want something more, more natural is more better. Less memorized and more spontaneous.

But then you may run into those uncomfortable silences.

What do you do then?

The easiest way is to simply practice talking to people, wherever you go. But instead of just talking about the weather or why the bus is late or why the local sports team sucks, see yourself as a treasure hunter.

Make it a point to try and find something interesting about everybody you talk to.

This will do three very helpful things.

The first is it will make talking to people a lot easier. Since you’ve got a specific intention in mind, you won’t worry about trying to keep the conversation going.

Two is it will give you a lot of experience with a lot of people, especially in feeling with those random pauses that WILL come up. And when you’re talking to some random dude or old lady in line at the supermarket, those random pauses won’t bother you so much.

Three is it will give you a lot of experience to draw from, especially when you find some interesting stories. You may think that woman in front of you in the supermarket is the most boring stay at home mom ever, based on her clothes and the items in her cart. But she might have been stuck on a cruise ship for three weeks without power, or gotten lost in a foreign country, or something else totally random AND amazing.

What do you do with these stories?

Whenever you’re talking to a cute girl, and you come up to one of those pauses, just whip out a story of one of your discovered treasures.

“Hey, that reminds me. I was talking this lady at the supermarket the other day, and she went on a cruise too, only her ship sunk and she was rescued by a Russian submarine!”

This will not only give you something interesting to talk about, you’ll come across as a cool guy who can talk to anybody, anywhere, any time.

Something that’s very attractive.

Are You Letting Your Subconscious Down?

Use More Tools

Hammers Nails Wishes and Choices

When all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails.

It’s funny how our brains work.

They are extremely flexible, but very, very limited.

There’s literally millions of bits of information hitting our senses every second, but if we were to consciously recognize all of them, we’d be a pool of blubbering nonsense.

So our subconscious minds have the task of sorting through all the noise and presenting us with what’s important. 

Now, some things that are essential to our survival will ALWAYS be important. Danger, money, our names. These will always get our attention.

The rest is fully programmable. However, most of us only haphazardly “program” our subconscious minds to present us with stuff to help us get what we want.

If we make a wish, for example, our subconscious won’t take it seriously, so it will only grab our attention when the magic whatever-fairy shows up to deliver out wish.

On the other hand, when we make a choice, our subconscious knows we’re serious, and will get busy presenting us with opportunities.

But here comes another problem. We may make a choice in the beginning, convincing our subconscious that we’re indeed serious.

But when we never take action on any of the opportunities presented to us, our subconscious will assume we didn’t mean “choice,” we really meant “wish.”

Only when we combine choice with action does our subconscious get REALLY fired up.

This is when that magic momentum starts, and every action seems to lead to many more opportunity, and pretty soon we notice we’re in a world of abundance with roads to prosperity at every turn.

All those things are out there, right now, as you read this.

All you’ve got to do is tune your mind to the right frequency, and you’ll see them.

Make a strong choice, and combine it with some follow through action, and you’ll be good as gold.

Now when most people read something like this, they get a bit nervous. They see the “take action” part and imagine they’re going to have to start doing things WAY outside their comfort zones.

Not a chance!

The secret is to simply take any action in the direction of the opportunity. This is all your subconscious needs to know you’re serious. Any small step in the right direction will do.

For example, let’s say you tell your subconscious you want ten grand. You make a choice, and your subconscious has your back.

Then you see a newspaper in a coffee shop. You pick it up, and glance in the business section. You have no idea why, just that your intuition lead you there.

Something simple like this is ALL you need to get the ball rolling.

Choice. Action.

To learn the entire process, check this out:

Prosperity Generator

How To Become Comfortable With Females

There's A Party Out There Waiting For You

Practice Makes Perfect

Remember when you were a kid?

Maybe, maybe not. If you’ve ever watched kids interact with each other, it’s pretty amazing.

Generally, the younger they are, the more fearless they are. They don’t stop and think about what they are going to say based on what they think might happen. They don’t hesitate in talking to somebody based on how they think they might respond.

They see all people as regular people. They haven’t learned to categorize anybody according to race or gender.

Then, as we grow up, we start to categorize people. We have to. The more we have to start becoming responsible for our lives, the less free stuff and support we get from our parents and other adults, we don’t really have the luxury to throw caution to the wind. We have to sort of pick and choose.

Now, this may not sound very politically correct, but if we didn’t do this, we’d be conned right and left. 

However, often times we make huge errors in judgment. Whenever we discriminate based on race or gender.

Now, before you think I’m going to go off on a PC-preachy tangent, hold your horses.

Consider how we perceive females, before and after we start to “judge” people.

When we are kids, they are kids, just like us, and we treat the like such.

But then we go through puberty, and they suddenly have amazing power. They can provide us with incredible pleasure, or horrible rejection. All in the way they look at us and talk to us.

If you’ve got any married guy friends that are pretty happy in their relationship, watch how THEY interact with women.

Usually, they’re much more laid back than single guys.

Why is that?

Because, for the most part, females have become normal females again.  Unless of course, they run across some incredibly hot super model who’s TRYING to create sexual energy everywhere she goes.

The secret to talking to women is to simply see them as people, instead of those amazing creatures with such amazing power.

How do you do that? Well, you could go out and get married, but that would kind of defeat the purpose!

The easiest way to see females as ordinary people, (which they are, BTW) is to simply talk to as many as you can WITHOUT having any kind of hope or expectation that anything will happen OTHER than a polite conversation.

The more you do this, the easier it will get.

Once you get to a certain level of comfort, that’s when the fun begins.

How To Rediscover Your Inner Genius

It's Still Inside You

Re-Discover Your Abilities

When you were very young, you knew the secret of success.

You knew how to put your mind on a target and then do whatever it took to get there.

For most of us, that built in strategy is “programmed out” of us as we grow older.

Nothing sinister, nothing intentional. It’s just the way things kind of happen.

Generally speaking, people that become super rich have less of that genius strategy programmed out. They retain enough to keep setting their sites on bigger and better goals as they go through life.

There comes a point in most people’s lives where our biggest dreams turn into things that we wish would happen on the one hand, but are too scared to try to get on the other hand.

We kid ourselves with all kinds of self delusions about why we can’t. We come up with all kinds of creative excuses that keep us “stuck.”

But the truth is that genius strategy still exists within you. Which means that if you start to consciously ask “as if” it will come out, it will.

Now, I’m not talking about any big huge behaviors. Not the standard “fake it until you make it” lip service gurus love to spit out.

I’m talking about making teeny tiny micro changes in your day to day behavior.

Simply because they will be congruent with your deeply programmed strategies, they will come out.

Just like being a little kid, and swinging your legs at the right frequency on the swing will get you some pretty big movements, so with your inner strategy.

You’ll slowly be building up a powerful self-sustaining cycle of success, where the energy you get out is much more than you put in.

This is the secret of all prosperity. People, nations, planets.

There comes a seemingly magical “tipping point” when the “system” is kind of humming along on its own, and just takes a wee bit of input juice for a MASSIVE output stream.

And because that strategy IS deep within you, even the smallest and easiest changes in your behavior that are congruent with this deep strategy will seem familiar, natural, and simple.

Because anytime you HAVE achieved any success, of any measure, you’ve proven that you HAVE that very strategy within you.

All it takes is to bring it up to the conscious level, see how it works, plug in what you want out of life, and then drop it back down into your subconscious.

And you’ll be on your way.

Get Started:

Prosperity Generator

Quickly Accelerate Your Social Confidence

From Zero To Social Hero

How To Build Social Momentum

Momentum is an incredible thing.

Once you get going, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

This is true for behavior as well as physical momentum, but for completely different reasons.

With physical momentum, you’re relying on Newton’s Second Law (bodies in motion tend to stay in motion). Once you get something going, all you need to do is put in enough energy in the system to overcome the natural resistance, like friction, and you’re good.

If you reduce friction, you can coast for quite a while.

Similarly, when you’re doing some kind of behavior, it’s much, much easier to keep going, than it is to get going.

Especially if you’re doing something that involves uncertainty.

But unlike pure physics, the longer you’re going, the easier it gets.

Why?

Because one of the biggest anxieties when interacting with others is you never know what’s going to happen. Usually, when you do something the first time, (like ride a motorcycle or use a pogo stick) it’s kind of shaky the first couple of times. But once you get used to it, you can pretty much do it without thinking.

But talking to people isn’t like that. Every single time is different.

So the more you talk to people, the easier it gets for a couple of reasons. One is you’re have more experience with a wide diversity of people. For this reason, it’s crucial to talk to as many different people as you can. 

If you’re trying to build up your confidence in talking to a girl of a specific type, talking to regular people will help. It will build in your deep understanding that no matter WHO you talk to, most people have a LOT in common. So when you do see that girl, you’ll see her more a human than an imaginary perfect angel. 

The second reason it will keep getting easier, is you’ll build up your experience of handling uncertainty.

Sure, it’s never going to be completely comfortable doing things where you don’t know what’s going to happen.

But the more you can prove to yourself that you can handle any conversation with anybody, no matter what happens, the fact that you DON’T know what’s going to happen will bother you less and less.

So if you want to get better at talking to gorgeous girls, talk to people. All people. Everywhere. Start slow and work your way up.

Anytime you see an opportunity, exchange a few words, and see what happens.

It will make MANY THINGS in life much, much easier.

Not just girls.

Generate Prosperity Momentum

Picture

Positive Feedback Loops

One of the coolest things to experience is a positive, self-sustaining loop.

These happen a lot, and unfortunately for some, we tend to remember and focus more on the “negative” self sustaining loops than the positive.

Since most people have some kind of experience with dieting and losing weight, that’s a good example of both.

A positive self sustaining loop would be when you start small, build up some momentum, and then find yourself six or so months later actually looking forward to exercising. You start needing less and less willpower to avoid those foods you know you should.

On the other hand, eating the wrong foods tends to make you feel lousy. And when we feel lousy, we tend to turn to quick “pick me ups” which tend to more of the wrong foods. And the cycle continues.

I’m sure you can identify cycles like this in all areas of life. They’re part of nature, and even inorganic systems like whirlpools and sinkholes.

In our own lives, one common difference is our time frame. When we’re in a “negative” self fulfilling loop, our minds tend to focus only a day or two ahead of time. When we feel like eating that “bad” food for example, we are intently focused on the present, without really focusing on the outcome a couple days later.

On the other hand, when we find ourselves in those wonderful “positive” self fulfilling loops, we tend to look at the long term. Because the long term looks GOOD. 

That affects our “now” decision making process, which helps us to make decisions in the “now” that are much better for our future.

It’s no secret that people that do well in business are VERY good at this. The ability to think about what they are doing NOW, and see how it will affect their lives years in the future.

Now, I know how incredibly hard it is when you’re smack dab in the middle of one of those “negative” self reinforcing loops. It can seem impossible to get out.

The trick is to start small. Very small. So small you won’t even notice. The secret of building a HUGE life of massive prosperity is not on gigantic thing you do.

It’s a gigantic COLLECTION of very small things you do. Things that will snowball into HUGE things out into your future.

All rich people have this in common. They all started small. (A surprisingly small number of rich people inherited their wealth). Then by slowly building that ever important momentum, they turned those small daily things into a life of HUGE success.

YOU can do the same. All humans can. We all have the capacity. And it only takes a small shift in thinking to kick it off.

If you start today, you’re future “you” will thank you.

Here’s How:

Prosperity Generator

Continuous Improvement

You're Not A Ninja Yet!

Keep Getting Better

Here’s a question for those of you who study martial arts. And even if you don’t it will still make sense.

Suppose you do the work required to earn your black belt. Are you done? Can you effectively defend yourself against pretty much anybody?

What about in tournaments? Obviously not. At the tournament level, getting a black belt is like your entry fee. There’s guys in tournaments who are way ahead of just a black belt. 

How about this, suppose you got a black belt, and were decent enough to win some local tournaments. Then you took a few years off. Could you jump right back in the ring and compete? Even if you stayed in shape, if you didn’t practice those specific skills, you wouldn’t do very well.

Most guys recognize this as obvious, with any sport. It takes a while to get to a certain level, and it takes a while to maintain that level.

But when it comes to dating, we suddenly think that we not only don’t need to practice, but all it takes is some kind of minimum understanding of game (no doubt read on blogs or forums) and we think we’re Jedi masters of seduction.

Now, I know that martial arts isn’t the best metaphor for meeting girls. After all, you’re not walking over there to spar. She wants you to succeed just as you do.

No girl wants to reject a guy who’s walking over to talk to her. She’d rather he be the man of her dreams. Or at least the man of the evening.

But the idea of always needing to practice, and always needing to improve yourself IS a good part of the fighting metaphor.

Most guys don’t get this. They assume if they can get laid, then it’s a matter of finding the right girl.

But consider this.

Once you can get laid on a fairly consistent basis, that’s kind of like a black belt. Sure, it’s a good accomplishment you should be proud of.

But it’s only the beginning. There’s ALWAYS a need to improve your fighting skills.

While you may not be fighting against her, you ARE fighting against every other guy she can potentially date.

And sure, if you’re talking to her in a bar surrounded by other goofs, she might see you as a hero.

But as soon as she starts comparing you to other guys, you may not seem like much.

Not fair? No, it’s not. But neither is life.

Everybody’s main objective on planet Earth is to get as much as they can while they’re here, for as little effort as possible. Nobody’s job is to give away stuff for free.

Mother Nature isn’t too concerned with evenly handing out the goodies. She’s not the kind grandma who makes sure all the kids get a piece of candy.

She’s a ruthless ringmaster who let’s us loose an says, “Go!”

And then steps back to watch the fun.

If you don’t step up your game to get the quality girl, and KEEP HER, somebody else will.

Like it or not, that’s the way it goes.

Now are you going to sit there and let all those other goofs get your dream girl?

Up And Down The Hills Of Life

Get To The Bottom and Go Back To The Top

Earn Your Pleasure

I used to love riding up and down hills on my bike.

As I did, I’d always play “Helter Skelter,” by the Beatles, in my mind.

Especially the first part, which goes:

“When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
till I get to the bottom and I see you again…
Yea yea yea…”

I love going up, and I also loved going down. But I also love being up on top, especially if was a particularly good hill with a particularly good view.

Some of my friends would like riding on long, flat spaces. I thought that was pretty boring.

It was easy, as you didn’t have any hills. But you also didn’t get the views, nor the massive speeds you got riding back down.

The fastest I ever clocked was 53 mph, just coasting down this big long hills.

It’s hard to separate out best part, in my mind. All three (the climb, the view, and the ride back down) all have their unique pleasures.

There’s also these trips you can take in famous places, where they haul you and your bike up to the top of a mountain and then let you coast back down. Usually places like Hawaii or Costa Rica or other Island type resort spots with high hills.

I went on a canoe trip like that once. They drove us up river, and then let us ride the current back down for a few days. 

It didn’t take much work, so we just kind of relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

(and drank lots of alcohol!)

Now, that can be fun from time to time, but it’s also pretty boring. Since you didn’t really put in any effort, there’s not much enjoyment you can get out of it.

If you’ve got kids or know anybody that’s got kids, then you know it’s not such a great idea to simply give them whatever the want without the necessary feeling of “earning it,” especially as they get older.

This can create some pretty spoiled kids. (A lot of famous people like that these days…)

What about you? What kind of life do you envision?

A flat, stable ride that’s safe, easy and boring?

Somebody to do all the work, while you get the benefits?

Or the ability to do the work, enjoy the view, AND the ride down?

And then, as Paul screamed, “go back to the top of the slide”?

Your life, your choice.

If you want it safe, it’s easy, but limited.

If you want somebody to do all the work, it’s pretty boring.

But if you want to put in the effort, your life belongs to you. And you’ll get much, much more.

What do YOU want?

Make It Happen:

Prosperity Generator