Monthly Archives: May 2015

Why You Must Be A Leader

Become A Leader To Create Attraction

Essential Skills To Create Attraction

On a deep and fundamental level, it’s easy to see what women want, and what men want.

Look back into our long evolutionary history, and it becomes pretty obvious. Women want a strong, confident, socially comfortable man to lead. Men want a supportive, loyal, feminine woman to stand behind him.

Sure, this sounds very old school, very anti-feminist, very anti-modern and empowered. But consider the vast majority of human history, where our instincts and gender roles were pretty much set.

Men went out every day and hunted. Took risks, found new places to live, and pretty much built all the tools of society. Women stayed behind while the men were hunting, and gathered. They took care of the kids. They got roots, nuts, other food in case the men got skunked.

Scientists tell us that this “sexual diversification of labor” was one of the main drivers of our evolutionary success. In all other mammals, both men and women searched for the same type of food.

Because humans looked for different food between men and women, we could live in twice as many places.

This is also why men are good at some things, while women are good at others. Men have narrow, long range vision, for example. Women have short, very wide vision. One is good for hunting, the other is good for gathering while watching kids at the same time.

Men don’t talk much, women talk all the time. Hunters vs. gatherers.

How does this translate to the modern dating scene?

On a deep level, she wants you to lead the way. She wants to follow you. But if you assume she SHOULD follow you, you’re in for a surprise.

Sadly, many “men” today are simply not worthy of being followed.

Are you?

When you make a decision, do you immediately take action, or do you wait to make sure it’s OK?

If you are on a date, for example, this is the worst thing you can do. Ask your date if your decision is OK.

Now, you don’t want to be rude, but you also don’t want to radiate a sense of weakness, and lean on her to call the shots.

In the very early stages, this means you MUST lead in all aspects. You MUST be the one who approaches. You MUST be the one who carries the conversation. You MUST be the one to set the first get together.

Will she follow? Maybe, maybe not. The ones that don’t follow simply aren’t into you. Let them slide.

But the ones that do follow you are the ones you’re after.

Start leading, and see who follows. That will tell you everything you need to know.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Find Gold

Set Your Vision

Clear Goal With A Strong Desire

One of the biggest migrations in human history was the California Gold Rush.

A bunch of people, hanging out on the east coast of the United States. Working regular jobs, living in regular houses with regular families.

Then somebody discovered gold. Now, human nature is human nature. If you go to any point in human history and ask people if they’ve got enough money, they’ll all say the same thing.

“Well, if I had just a little bit more, I’d be OK.”

Study after study shows that’s true today, no matter HOW much they’ve currently got. So you can imagine what it felt like, back then, to just want a “little bit more” and hear the news.

Out yonder on that there west coast, people are digging gold nuggets right up out of the dirt!

And this was enough for a significant amount of people to up and leave. Leave their jobs, take their kids, their belongings, pack them up in a covered wagon, and start heading West.

There was no health insurance back then, no 7-11’s every twenty feet, no 911, no cops, no paramedics, no Triple A to call if they got a flat.

Only a burning desire, and a destination. Not a vague destination. A clear, easy to imagine picture with clear benefits.

Even now that’s easy to imagine. Digging up some dirt, and finding a gold nugget. One’s that’s big enough to solve all your financial problems.

Now, all of those people, up to that point, had a desire for more money. But it was a vague desire, without any real plan of making it happen.

But when they heard news that it was really possible, enough of them made the sacrifice to literally change U.S. history.

That visualization they kept in their heads kept them motivated to traverse thousands of miles of dangerous territory.

This is the power of a clear, specific, burning desire.

This is what happens when you take those vague desires and wishes we ALL have (money, love, career, etc) and turn them into a specific desire that seems real when you imagine it.

Now, back then, people imagined more money all the time, but they didn’t have much of a reference. No internet, no TV. All they had were newspapers and dime store novels.

But once they heard of specific evidence, and a specific method of finding their riches, they were off.

Today, it’s EASY to find specific evidence AND the techniques to get what you want to create.

All you’ve got do is the up front planning, and get going.

And today, it’s a lot easier than spending a few months crossing barren deserts!

Get Started:

Goal Setting

How To Plan Your Relationships

Do You Depend On Blind Luck?

Don’t Rely On Blind Luck

Do you have any seduction goals?

Most guys don’t. Most guys are happy with their preprogrammed desires for sex, intimacy, and companionship. They go out, keep trying, until these get fulfilled.

For a long, long time, this was all men needed. Only in recent times did people need to consciously plan what they were going after. Why?

Up until fifty years or so ago, once a guy and a girl hooked up, there were plenty of “negative incentives” to keep them together. Meaning if they broke up, especially after they were married and had kids, everybody would know.

Even on “Mad Men” there was that one single mom in the neighborhood that everybody gossiped about.

The thing about having “negative incentives” is that we don’t tend to notice them. Kind of like having a boss that will fire you if you show up late. So long the rest of the job is pretty good, and you get paid well, getting up early in order to show up on time (so you don’t get fired) will kind of slip into the back of your mind.

At first it might be pretty difficult, but pretty soon it will be just be something that you do without thinking.

This is the kind of world couples lived in a generation or so ago. Since they were many more negative incentives regarding breaking up, they were much more motivated to work on the relationship, and deal with whatever issues came up instead of ignoring them.

Nowadays, people don’t do that. There’s zero stigma with breaking up, getting divorced, or being a single parent.

Which means if you want a happy relationship, it’s going to take a lot of SELF MOTIVATION, rather than relying on those external negative incentives.

However, most guys don’t even realize this. They just hook up with whoever they can hook up with, cross their fingers and hope for the best.

Now, sometimes you’ll get lucky. Sometimes you’ll meet a girl from a similar background, who has similar beliefs as you, and shares plenty of the same interests. This will make it much more likely you’ll both WANT to work on any issues, as you genuinely like each other’s company, beyond just sex and intimacy.

But if you just get with whoever you can get with, this isn’t very likely.

Instead, consider the type of girl you’re going after. Consider the type of girl you’d like to hang out with AFTER that initial thrill wears off. Consider a girl who has the same basic life plans as you, instead of some girl who you expect will blindly follow you wherever you go.

To be sure, this is a lot of work. But the work you put into today will save you a lot of pain tomorrow.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

Who’s The Boss Of You?

Choose Your Own Course

How To Take Control Of Your Life

I love walking in the mornings. 

Especially really early, when it’s still dark. Normally, I follow a pretty standard route. Down to the big park near the main library, and then back home.

But sometimes I take a detour. Sometimes I’ll see something down a side street I feel like checking out.

My only intention for walking is to let my mind wander, and as a side benefit get a little bit of exercise.

I’m not going anywhere in particular, just out and back.

This is a great strategy for a lot of things. When the process is more important than the outcome.

Going on holiday is another example. Sure, the destination is important. But most of the time, the main outcome of a holiday is just to relax and unwind.

Even some things that seem to have a clear outcome are really process focused. People that have certain hobbies for example. Building stuff with wood. Painting, other forms of creative expression.

The intentions is not so much the outcome (unless it’s your career or you want it to be your career someday), but the process. Just losing yourself in the creative process and seeing what happens.

Other things require a much more detailed focus on the outcome.

When you’re boss tells you to have a certain report by a certain date, for example. You wouldn’t write the report the same way you enjoyed one of your hobbies, would you?

Or if your job was a truck driver, for example, and you were carrying perishable materials. You wouldn’t lazily take the scenic route, stopping for photos along the way.

You’d have a specific outcome, to be in a specific place at a specific time. 

Most of the time, it’s easy to tell the difference between process activities, and outcome activities.

One huge indicator is when somebody tells us to do something. Then it’s clear there’s some kind of outcome we’d better achieve.

However, only leaving those “outcome based” activities up to the directions of others is a mistake.

A potentially HUGE one.

See, the biggest process of all is your life.

And your life is filled with outcome after outcome.

Most people are content to let others choose each of these intermediary outcomes, and then just relax on process stuff in the middle.

This is certainly safe. It’s certainly low risk. If you get into trouble, you’ve always got somebody to blame.

But it’s INCREDIBLY limiting.

The truth is that choosing your OWN outcomes is a lot easier than many people realize.

Now, I’m not talking about vague wishes that most people have.

“I want more money. I want to lose weight. I need a partner.”

Everybody’s got these.

I’m talking about rock solid plans to make them happen.

This is what happens when you “become your own boss” of your life.

You can build whatever you want.

Get Started:

Goal Setting

How To Measure Her Attraction

Always Be Testing

Always Be Testing

There are plenty of ways to measure how much a girl is attracted to you. There are also different methods to use during different stages of the relationship.

This is important to know how to do, but it’s also important to know WHY to do this.

Many guys make the tragic mistake of assuming once she’s attracted to you, she’ll ALWAYS be attracted to you. This is absolutely false.

In reality, her attraction, especially in the first few weeks or even months, will fluctuate. Even in it’s not set in stone. Guys who have been married for years are FLOORED when she suddenly announces she wants a divorce.

He thought everything was going smooth, but in reality, her attraction was slowly declining. Sometimes for YEARS.

And for better or for worse, there are few negative incentives to keep women in “bad” relationships these days.

So if you ARE intending to create a mutually happy, long term relationship, you’d better be ready to accept the fact that it takes CONSISTENT EFFORT on your part.

And measuring her attraction is the first step. Once you know if it’s high or low, you can adjust accordingly, or even decide she’s not the one for you.

In the first conversation, it’s pretty easy. Is she looking at you most of the time? When you break rapport slightly, does she follow you to get back into rapport? How does she respond when you apply some light and socially appropriate kino? Does it make her happy? Does she respond in kind?

If you’ve been dating a couple weeks, all of the same apply, but you’ve got to be able to measure her deeper behavior.

Does she show up on time? Does she return your calls promptly? When you ask her out does she agree happily or suggest another time and place if she’s busy?

These all things a highly attracted girl will do. A girl with medium or low attraction won’t.

If you’ve determined her level of attraction is less than you’d like, you’ve got a couple options.

One is to try and ramp it back up. Do something different. Measure again.

Another is to simply realize it’s not in the cards.

The cold harsh truth is that relationships are a LOT of work.  If you choose a girl that takes a lot of effort to begin with, you know you’ve got an uphill battle for the duration.

Often times, it’s much, much easier to just realize it’s not in the cards and move on.

Ideally, you want to find a girl who’s willing to work as hard as you to maintain the integrity of the relationship.

When you do that, it will make everything worthwhile.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Uncover Hidden Roadblocks

Release Internal Resistance

Release Internal Resistance

Most people have heard about that Harvard “Goal” study.

Or maybe it was Princeton? Who knows.

Anyhow, the story goes that they did some kind of study on one graduating class. They checked to see which of them had written goals, and which of the didn’t.

Then they checked later on, like twenty years later on, and were surprised.

They figured the people who had written down their goals would be more successful, but they were shocked to find out how much.

Turns out that small group of folks who had written goals upon graduation (about 5%) made more money than everybody else combined.

Now, at first it seems like all we’ve got to do is write down what we want, and like magic it shows up!

But it can be one of those chicken and egg questions.

Did those people make all that money because they wrote down their goals, or was there something else?

Maybe they had some quality that compelled them to not only write their goals, but achieve them.

Maybe writing down their goals was not a  cause, but merely one small piece of evidence of their internal drive to achieve.

Of course, because you’re reading this now, YOU also have that deep drive to achieve. Otherwise you’d be spending your time following the latest twitter trend, or wondering how long the sale is going on down at the mall.

One thing that’s not taught in almost every “goal setting” course or even workshop is how to maintain present positives.

This is the one hidden roadblock that keeps MANY of us from achieving our goals.

For example, many people would LOVE to lose weight, but somehow can’t. The reason is there are some benefits that we are usually not aware of that we simply aren’t ready to give up.

And this goes beyond the wonderful sensation of letting that chocolate ice cream melt in your  mouth!

Eating reduces stress, being heavier than you would like can give you a ready excuse to not get out there and mingle, or any other kinds of reasons.

These are just examples of course, but many things we THINK we’d like, there’s part of us that is not really willing to move forward.

Unless we address THAT part of us, we’ll stay stuck. We can either charge through with super human will power and determination (like those dudes from Harvard), or we can do it the easy way.

Just figure out we want to keep, and make sure we keep it AFTER we get what we want.

Once you figure this out, it’s pretty easy. Goal setting isn’t boring, isn’t scary, and once you realize that you really CAN get anything, it’s pretty exciting.

Learn How:

Goal Setting

How To Deal With Boundary Violations

Setting Boundaries Is Easy

Easy Ways To Assert Yourself

Many guys have problems setting boundaries with girls. Partly because most guys aren’t getting nearly as much affection as they want, when they start getting it, they’ll put up with a lot of junk to keep it.

The trouble with this is when she’s violating you’re boundaries, and you don’t say anything, she correctly assumes that it’s OK.

One of the big myths about boundaries is that people somehow “know” what they are without you saying so. Like there’s some kind of social contract that everybody has read and agreed to that regulates what’s OK and what’s not OK.

But the harsh truth is that people will do whatever they think is appropriate, based on what they want, and what they imagine the repercussions will be.

And when it comes to male-female interactions, what people think are appropriate are largely based on how they were raised, parenting issues, early childhood experiences, and tons of other stuff that you simply will never know about.

Which means if you’re making assumptions about how she “should” act, you’re setting yourself up for a letdown.

So, what do you do?

First, you need to know what your boundaries are. You can’t define them if you don’t know them.

Now, this can be hard to do if you don’t have much experience. A good system is to simply listen to your gut. If she does something and it doesn’t feel “right” say something.

Of course, it can get confusing when you don’t know whether it’s a “test” or a “boundary violation.”

Usually a test is based on what she says, and a boundary violation is based on what she does.

And once she does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s YOUR responsibility to mention it.

How do you mention it?

Don’t tell her what she should or shouldn’t do. That will only make things worse. Nobody likes to be told what they should or shouldn’t do, in any circumstance.

Instead, just say something like, “I don’t like it when you do that.” And let her respond.

This is pretty powerful. 

Why?

Because if she acts like she doesn’t care how her actions affect you, she’s not worth your time. She’s effectively disqualified herself.

On the other hand, if she genuinely makes a honest effort to not do that again, if only because it bothers you, that means she’s REALLY into you. 

Sadly, this won’t happen very often. Girls will ALWAYS push the boundaries to see what they can get away with.

Which is why you should ALWAYS be willing to simply walk away from her if she repeatedly violates your stated boundaries.

Because the ones that DO make an effort to respect your boundaries are the girls you’re looking for.

THESE are the girls that will create heaven on Earth for you.

Find Yours:

Girlfriend Generator

Are You Wandering Through Life?

Plan Your LIfe

Make A Plan

Imagine if you decided to build a birdhouse. 

So you went down to the dumpster behind the do it yourself shop, and grabbed some boards.

You thought maybe you had some tools at home, so you didn’t worry too much.

You got home, and kind of nailed the boards together. Then you got bored, and went to do something else.

Is this a good strategy for building a bird house?

How about this. You’re hungry, so you decide to cook something.

You fire up the stove, and put on your favorite frying pan. You aren’t sure what you want, so you start chucking things into your pan haphazardly. Pretty soon it’s smokey, and pretty stinky. You give up, and head down to the local convenience store.

OK, one more example.

You feel like going somewhere. So you go down to the bus station. You put down a handful of bills and coins on the counter.

The guy behind the counter looks at you and says, “OK, where to?”

And you say, “Uhh…I dunno…anywhere.”

And he says, “Well, how much do you got?” while he looks at your pile of cash.

“Beats me,” you say.

Are any of these good strategies?

Of course not. Silly. Ridiculous.

But that’s how most of us live our lives. We put in half baked plans, without knowing what we really want.

Sure, we all want more money, better relationships, a better place to live.

But beyond that, we just kind of wander through life and hope for the best.

Sure you might get lucky. You might bump into dream lover in the produce section.

You might accidentally sit next to your next boss for your ideal job on the bus.

But if you’re plans are based on luck, they’re kind of out of your control.

The truth is you really can create any life you want.

But you not only need a specific goal, but you need a specific plan.

Once you’ve got these set up, it’s pretty simple, really.

With the right set of plans and tools, anybody can build a birdhouse, cook a decent meal and plan a vacation anywhere.

It may take some time, but planning is half the fun.

If you want to get more out of life, you aren’t alone.

EVERYBODY wants more out of life. Few people do anything about it.

Luckily, there’s a step by step method. 

Tons of videos, worksheets, even a hypnosis session.

Get Started:

Goal Setting

Why To Expand Your Social Circle

Always Be Friendly

Always Be Friendly

A long time ago, I had a job selling insurance. It was the first day out, and we were going to people’s homes who had requested information. I was with my trainer, and she was showing me the ropes.

We were talking to this one couple, and I could sort of tell right away they weren’t “qualified.” Meaning they didn’t likely have the income to be able to afford what we were selling, nor would they really get much use out of the benefits.

But my trainer kept talking to them, asking them all about their problems and concerns. She even gave them some free advice that seemed to help them out.

Later, I asked why she did that, when she clearly wasn’t going to make any sales.

She explained that she recognized that they belonged to a couple of “networks” of similar workers from retired industry. Meaning they knew a LOT of people. People that would likely be able to afford what we were selling and would want what we were selling.

She explained that in the office we were working out of, the most successful salespeople made the bulk of their sales from referrals. Not cold clients, or people who responded to mailers.

Later I learned this was true in most sales jobs, other than retail. Even then if you make a good impression on a customer, they’ll send other people your way.

Most people will judge you based on how you interact with others when you have clearly nothing to gain.

Hopefully, you do this as well. If you’re out with a girl, for example, and she is exceptionally rude to the wait staff or other “help,” this should be a red flag. As least it is for most guys who know their worth.

The moral of the story? Be nice to people. Be interested in people. Even for the pure selfish boost to your self-confidence.

But chances are, if you are genuinely friendly to everybody you meet, it will send out a LOT of positive signals. One is that you’re a genuinely friendly guy. Another is that you’ve got pretty decent social skills and self confidence.

Of course, if you are social like this, you’ll meet a LOT of girls who are either interested in you, or know somebody that is.

Get Started:

Girlfriend Generator

How To Maximize Psychic Profits

Pay Attention To The Bottom Line

Keep An Eye On Your Bottom Line

Many people tend to think of “profits” as a bad word.

The other day I was reading some blog post about some new show on Netflix. A commenter didn’t quite like Netflix’s strategy, so they complained about “profit chasing.”

What are “profits” anyhow?
 
In a very basic sense, it’s any time you get more out of a system than you put in.

If you grow corn, for example, and it costs you $1000 to grow the corn, and you can sell them for $1200, that means you’ve made a profit of $200.

If this particular corn farmer wanted more profits, he’d figure out a way to grow more corn. And so long as people weren’t FORCED to buy his corn, the more he sold, the happier people would be, since they were buying them based on their own choice.

In this simple case, more profits is good for everybody. More people that want corn get it, the farmer has a job he knows is benefiting people, AND the farmer’s making some decent money.

Of course, whenever there are all kinds of complicated laws and hidden agreements it can spoil the system.

But on a basic, fundamental level, profits are a good thing.

Even on a personal level, we seek profits.

For example, any time you think about doing something, you imagine yourself in the future, with your new “state” better than your current “state.”

Then you imagine the action and the risks involved in going from your current “state” to your imagined better “state.”

If you are successful, you could say that the difference between the two states (the better future state minus or current state) is your own personal “profit.”

In fact, many economists have called this “psychic revenue.” Meaning you get a benefit, but since it’s not money, it’s based on your own feelings, emotions, and subjective values.

And unless we think we’ll be better off, we won’t take action.

Now, this pretty easy when we don’t perceive any risks.  Then it’s simple, and often times pretty boring. Like some routine process.

Baking a cake. Buying something from a vending machine. Driving across town to buy something you want.

But when perceived “risk” comes into play, that’s when things get tricky.

If we perceive a huge risk, then we won’t take action. We imagine the outcome as better, but we don’t want the costs associated with it (going through those scary risks).

This is why it’s so crucial to get a handle on your fears.

Since most fears are imaginary and NEVER happen, there’s plenty of things that are easily within our reach, but we simply talk ourselves out of it.

Get rid of those imaginary fears, and life becomes a LOT more fun, and a LOT easier.

Ready to blast YOUR fears away?

Get Started:

Kundalini Activator