Monthly Archives: December 2017

They're Everywhere

Protect Your Most Precious Resource

When you get into trouble, you call the police.

When the police get into trouble, they call SWAT!

At least that’s how the TV show (from the 70’s) started.

They’ve made a few movies, about SWAT in particular.

But there are endless cop shows.

One of the best TV shows of all time (The Wire) is about cops.

Another one of the best TV shows of all time (The Sopranos) is about criminals.

Seems we are easily entertained by TV shows and movies about cops and robbers.

Or good guys and bad guys.

In fact, all movies and stories need both.

You CAN get away with a movie that only has good guys, and good things, and happy endings, but that’s like eating a bowl of sugar.

It might be a fun thing to do once in a great while, but it’s not something you do every day.

Even music is surrounded by the idea of tension and relief. Chord and discord.

We like those structures for two main reasons.

One, they resonate with us. Every day we have “good parts” and “bad parts.”

If we were to separate the people we deal with, or potentially deal with, we could easily separate them into “good guys” and “bad guys.”

The second reason is that most of the time, the good guys win.

And we like that feeling, even if we know it’s fake.

Because in real life, the good guys don’t always win.

In fact, even if you DID get into trouble, and you DID call the cops, they best they might do is give you paperwork to file with your insurance company.

One of the great promises of an organized society based on laws is that we are protected from the bad guys.

Yet bad guys are everywhere.

And when they come at you with their badness, how do you respond?

If it’s a physical attack, there are plenty of options.

Dial 911.

Run.

Stand your ground and fight.

But what if it’s a verbal attack?

A carefully crafted emotional attack?

In front of others?

These are the hardest to defend against.

At least, they are for most people.

But when you learn the skills of verbal self defense, you can stop them dead in their tracks.

Faster than a spin kick to the head of an attacker.

BAM!

Learn How:

Weaponized Hypnosis

Make Fantasies Come True In Their Mind

Bank Shot Or Kill Shot?

When I was much younger, I used to play a lot of racquetball.

I would stop by after work where they had a challenge court.

One with a glass back wall.

You’d write your name up on a board, and you’d play the winner.

Most I ever won was three in a row.

One guy I played frequently.

I was in my twenties, he was in his sixties.

And he always beat me.

Every. Single. Time.

I would run around like a jack rabbit on crack, trying for a kill shot whenever I could.

He would just hang out in the center of the court.

My shots were hard and powerful.

His shots were soft, and very, very well placed.

I would just swing as hard as I could and try to kill it.

He would just barely tap it.

By the time it got to his racquet, it still had plenty of my energy.

So he didn’t need to use all that much.

And it would be placed to perfectly, usually as a bank shot into the corner, so I’d have to chase it all over the place.

I was ALWAYS behind.

On points, mentally and emotionally.

He was always in control, and I was always chasing the ball.

Those games are a perfect metaphor for youth and mindless power, and age and experience.

Young people want things, and they want it now.

Older folks with a lot of experience know that some things take time.

Young people want to hit it hard and fast.

Older, more experienced folks know that bank shots can provide much better results.

It’s not what you do, it’s what happens as a result of what you do.

And these results (like bank shots in the corner) can unfold in some very interesting ways.

Luckily, you don’t need to be physically old to use this mind set.

You just need patience.

And an understanding that it’s not the direct result of your efforts, it’s the lingering secondary and tertiary results.

Like planting a seed, and waiting for it to grow.

If you plan a flower seed, you’ll some pretty flowers.

They’ll bloom, look good, and then whither and die.

On the other hand, if you plant the seeds for a fruit tree, you’ll have fruit for many, many decades.

You can get whatever you want.

With enough patience and the right seeds.

Learn More:

Love Hypnosis

Mutual Benefits Are Everywhere

Mechanics Of Relationships

One of our biggest human issues is an instinct mismatch.

The easiest to see is hunger.

Way back in the day, we had to hunt for food.

And hunting for food was dangerous.

So only those that were ALWAYS hungry were the most motivated to get out and hunt every day.

Or spend all day foraging.

Today, that never ending hunger instinct gets in the way.

Which is why most people (70%) are overweight.

Unfortunately, this is only ONE of the instincts that can get us into trouble.

There are plenty of others.

However, once you understand that hunger will never go away, you can learn to manage it.

It’s not easy by any means.

But through consistent effort, you CAN get into decent physical shape if that’s important to you.

Luckily, all of our other goals can be made much easier by managing all of our various instincts.

The first step is understanding what those instincts are.

Think of when you fell in love with somebody.

In the very beginning.

When you had “one-itis” for them.

You liked them, but you weren’t sure if they liked you.

In that situation, it’s very hard to NOT contact them.

But if you know anything about relationship building, contacting somebody TOO OFTEN in the early stages is the last thing you want to do.

Making yourself TOO available will kill attraction.

Fortunately, this desire to contact them is JUST LIKE our hunger instinct.

If we are OBEDIENT to our instincts, they won’t help us much.

Imagine if you ate all you could, whenever you were hungry.

If you learn about all your other instincts, and how to manage them, you can CREATE a wonderful relationship JUST LIKE you can create a healthy body.

Sure, it’s not easy and automatic.

But nothing worth doing is.

But just as sure as you can create a healthy body, you can create a healthy relationship.

All you need to do is understand the mechanics, the underlying instincts that you need to manage, and get busy.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

She Wants You

Mastering Greed, Fear and Love

I love reading about and learning about the stock market.

Not just because it’s a way to make money (and also a way to lose everything).

But because it’s based on human psychology.

Sure, there are all kinds of technical and fundamental indicators.

GDP growth or not, job growth or not.

Technical indicators, MACD, slow and fast moving averages, etc.

Some of the indicators like the VIX (which measures volatility) is EXTREMELY complicated.

You need a couple semesters of calculus just to understand how the VIX is calculated.

But hidden inside all those indicators and equations is the human brain.

All of it is so we talking monkeys can have an idea of what to do.

And despite HOW we make our choices (buy, sell or hold) they are HUMAN choices.

Subjective choices.

I suppose of Spock decided to trade stocks for a living, he’d do pretty well.

But we humans cannot escape our emotions.

Experienced stock traders say that even after the BEST trade, they STILL have regrets.

I should have held on a little longer.

I should have bought more in the beginning.

I could have made MORE money.

Greed and fear are ALWAYS present.

Traders can’t get rid of them any more than we can get rid of hunger.

Jesse Livermore, a famous trader from back in the 1920’s, wrote a book about the stock market.

One that is JUST as valid today as back then, nearly 100 years ago.

Why?

Because human emotions haven’t changed.

Even back then, Livermore remarked that the psychology behind the stock market is as “old as the hills.”

Humans want the same things today as we did 1000 years ago.

More money, less work, better relationships, better sex, more love, more affection, less frustration.

Despite the MASSIVE complexity of daily live, the human condition is the same as it ever was.

Which means if you understand the human condition, it doesn’t matter what else you know or don’t know.

Because you’ll have a huge advantage.

Learn More:

Love Hypnosis

Blast Off Butterfly!

Are You Jumping Without A Parachute?

There are a lot of “law of attraction” type sayings that sound pretty good.

And like a lot of things, if we repeat them enough, we feel like we “know” them.

But there’s a difference between being familiar with the words (and examples) and actually discovering them on your own.

If you’ve experienced this, it presents a strange problem.

For example, many people have heard the expression, “Fake it till you make it.”

And most people can give a couple examples of why this is true.

All without ever having actually faked it until you made it.

But then something happens, and you actually have to fake something, and then you make “it” (whatever “it” is) and it hits you.

It’s true in an experiential way, whereas before it was true in an intellectual way.

But when you say it, while recalling your own true life experience, it sounds EXACTLY the same.

It’s somewhat similar (but only somewhat) to the famous Bruce Lee quote.

(Paraphrased)

“Before Jeet Kun Do, a punch is just a punch. During Jeet Kun Do, a punch is a careful combination of energy, focus, balance, concentration, and intention. After Jeet Kun Do, a punch is just a punch.”

It’s the same thing, but very, very different.

One of the often said truisms (much like faking it till you make it) is that you need to have belief before you have results.

Most people say this, but few people have the experience of believing something BEFORE they believe it.

It’s also easy to rewrite your beliefs so that you can pretend you believed it before you saw it, when in reality, you had your doubts.

The human brain is very clever at always making us the heroes of our own stories.

But one area where you MUST believe in what you’re creating is when you are purposely creating relationships with others.

This is when what you WANT to do is usually the direct opposite of what you SHOULD do.

But if you believe in what you are doing, and you can NOT do what most people do, you will GET what most people don’t get.

One way to make it much easier is to get an intellectual understanding of what you are doing.

Kind of like having an intellectual understanding of the physics of parachuting before jumping out of a plane.

Still pretty terrifying, but not nearly as terrifying as jumping out of a plane WITHOUT a parachute and hoping for a miracle.

The “hoping for a miracle” strategy is what most people use.

But when you understand the structure of relationships, you can create them with as much scientific precision as the air that lets you and your parachute drift gently to the ground.

Learn More:

Love Hypnosis

Dreamland is Loveland

Plant Emotional Seeds

When I was very young my sister and I tried to make a pizza.

We threw a bunch of stuff haphazardly on top of some bread.

No idea what we were doing.

As expected, it tasted like crap.

I’ve been on a lot of backpacking trips.

Some of the coolest parts are the meadows that are way up there.

No humans around, gorgeous streams and flowers.

A single trail going through a huge valley.

Some people get pretty intense with their gardens.

They spend a lot of time planting and pruning and weeding.

The result is very nice.

Even though they know exactly what it’s going to look like, it’s still beautiful.

Compared to the naturally occurring wildflowers up around eight or nine thousand feet, which is more beautiful?

They are both beautiful in their own way.

One is because of the setting, the backdrop.

The other is because it’s a creation of the mind, and of the soil.

Which is doing more work?

The mind or the soil?

The mind can understand what seeds to plant, how much work to put into the weeding, how much space to allow, etc.

But the seeds do everything else.

Sure we can describe what’s happening.

At least, up to a certain point.

It’s nice to think of ourselves as creators of the garden.

But in reality, we’re just putting the right ingredients together in the right proportion.

Then we only stand back and wait for nature to do what nature does.

How or why THAT happens is anybody’s guess.

But you don’t need to understand it to create a beautiful garden.

You just need to appreciate it.

Many things are that way.

At the same time they are mysterious, but also simple.

Food is simple to cook, but the emotional gratification we can get from eating is indescribable.

Human relationship are the same way.

At least they CAN be.

You don’t need to understand how or why they work, only enough to mix everything together in the right proportions.

And give it the space to happen.

And just like a garden, if you create it correctly, it will grow.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Alchemy Of Love

Scientific Emotions

There’s a pretty cool video on YouTube on chord progressions.

It shows a ton of different pop songs that all have the same chords.

This is one of those things you’d never notice unless you learned enough about music.

Then after you notice it, it’s hard to not notice it.

Same with story structure.

Most modern movies and books have the same basic structure.

The “Hero’s Journey.”

Usually starts out with the hero as an orphan of some kind.

Then he or she is more or less forced to go on some kind of journey.

Could be a metaphorical journey, or a real one.

Along the way they meet friends, learn skills and eventually have to fight the bad guy.

Or overcome their internal demons.

But even if you study music, or story structure, we can still enjoy movies and music.

Sometimes even more so.

In order to become a world class chef, you’d have to know what tastes good and what doesn’t.

While they are making pizza and burger robots, they’ll never make a robot that can invent new dishes and tastes.

Because a robot will never have the purely emotional experience of tasting something for the first time.

In order to “test” a new recipe, a robot would HAVE to have some kind of pre-programmed ranges or parameters.

Human senses, on the other hand, have an infinite amount of range.

An infinite amount of capability to somehow “transfer” between purely chemical combinations, and emotional descriptions of flavor.

Robots will likely be able to create things with absolute precision.

But they’ll never be able to enjoy things from a human experience.

Only we humans get to do that.

But just like chefs can produce delicious dishes and musicians can produce emotionally moving pieces, we can both create and enjoy a wide range of emotions.

All it takes is being able to shift outside, as the creator, and then shift inside, as the enjoyer.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

Yeah Baby!

Be Their Spark Of Life

When I was in elementary school, we experimented with bacteria.

This pretty much amounted to spitting in a petri dish, and then watching the mold grow.

Same stuff that grows on bread if you let it sit too long.

On the one hand, it’s a pretty basic process.

You mix a bunch of ingredients and watch the stuff grow.

If you buy a hundred loaves of bread and let them sit in your kitchen too long, they’ll grow the same kind of mold every single time.

Yet at the same time, WHAT that mold really is has baffled scientists since forever.

Sure, they can describe it, predict how and where it grows, but WHAT exactly is “life?”

How did it start?

Their best guess was that lightening somehow gave the primordial ingredients the energy they needed to transform from inorganic matter to organic matter.

Or God intervened.

Or maybe aliens.

Who knows?

On the one hand, it’s very, very predictable.

On the other hand, it’s almost magical.

Our emotions are the same way.

From inside our own minds, from our own subjective experiences, emotions can be wonderful, horrible, confusing, inspiring and everything in between.

Yet at the same time, certain chord progressions, which can be mathematically described and explained, tend to evoke the same emotions in many people.

On the outside, it’s purely scientific and rational.

But on the inside, simple songs can evoke very deep and powerful emotions.

Same with movies.

Produced with rational thinking creators, who know what type of story structures work, and which ones don’t.

Even cookie cutter Disney movies make people feel deep emotions.

At the same time, our emotions are indescribable, but easy to “manipulate.”

Not the best word.

But every time you specifically choose to see an action movie, or a horror movie, or a romantic tearjerker, you are HOPING your emotions will be manipulated in the right way.

The more effective a movie manipulates your emotions, the BETTER the movie is.

If the movie DOESN’T manipulate your emotions, it’s not believable.

What about one on one?

Can we use the same process?

Absolutely.

And if you create the RIGHT emotions, it doesn’t matter if you are creating them as rationally as the directors and actors and writers to get paid gobs of cash.

Because your target will feel WONDERFUL.

Learn How:

Love Hypnosis

They're Everywhere

What If Angels Were Watching You?

Once upon a time Jesus decided to come back to visit Earth.

So he strolls up to the Vatican and is standing in the courtyard, kind of looking around.

One of the Cardinals sees him, and runs to tell the Pope.

“Father!” he cries, rushing inside in a panic.

“Yes, my son, what is it?” The Pope asks.

“Jesus! He has returned!”

“What do you mean?” The puzzled pope asks.

“He’s outside! In the courtyard! What shall we do?” the cardinal desperately asks. The pope thinks about it, then looks up.

“Tell everybody to look busy!”

Yuckity yuck….

Everybody has the experience of sitting around when you’re supposed to be working.

And the boss shows up, and you suddenly pretend you were just finishing something, or were just about to do something REALLY important.

This is normal behavior, and it happens all the time.

But when it’s unhelpful is when we are tricking OURSELVES that we are busy.

Sometimes we do this to avoid doing unpleasant things.

Maybe you’d planned on doing your taxes, but suddenly your daughter needs help with her homework, and you’re than willing to help all day if that’s what she needs.

Sometimes we do things that we THINK is “progress,” but it’s really just busy work.

Perhaps you’ve been wanting to write a novel.

But instead of sitting down and actually writing, you’re doing “research.”

You may even tell people you’re a writer, but you are still in the “planning stages.”

Of course, planning is absolutely necessary.

But things like that are VERY EASY to stretch out.

Sometimes for YEARS.

Which means it’s very EASY to trick ourselves we are “on purpose,” that we’re living an extraordinary life.

But all too often, the things we do are really the same things we’ve always done.

We just somehow redefine them.

So instead of wasting time online, we’re doing “research.”

Or instead of dreaming about what it would be like to actually finish a degree, we’re “investigating online classes.”

Or instead of window shopping on Amazon, we’re “choosing the right equipment for our exercise plan.”

Redefining events is a very good skill.

Like all of our mental skills, we can use them to get ahead, for example reframing a “failure” as valuable experience that can help you do better next time.

Or we can use them to stay in our comfort zone, when we pretend we’re researching the best running shoes, but we’re really just browsing Amazon while watching TV.

How do you know the difference?

Figure out a way to keep score.

Objective score, that is observable from your behavior, not your thinking.

Imagine angels are watching you, and they can only see your behavior, not your thoughts.

And the more your behavior moves you forward, the more they’ll help you.

This metaphor can help you move forward, instead of just pretending.

Learn More:

Seven Disciplines

Pull Your Future Forward

Human Condition On Steroids

Monty Hall, the famous game show host, passed away recently.

I read an interview he gave a while ago.

He described how he tried to “con” the contestants.

He actually used the word, “con.”

Without his input, the contestants would have to use brain skills to choose which choice was the most appropriate.

Which is interesting in itself.

That’s the whole premise behind the popular game shows like, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,” and “Jeopardy.”

There’s a difficult question, the contestant has to answer, and we can play along at home.

But on “Let’s Make a Deal,” (the show Monty Hall hosted), it was a lot more emotional.

While the contestant was trying to decide which was better, Monty was messing with them.

He’d start offering more money if they made a certain choice.

And since he KNEW which was the right choice, he knew which direction to push them to make it more interesting.

Remember, he used the word, “con,” to describe this behavior.

And while this was happening, everybody in the audience was screaming at the poor guy or gal up on stage desperately trying to think.

This is the human condition on steroids.

You’ve got a decision, that in itself is not so easy.

But there’s also money at stake.

And there’s your social reference group.

And while they do sort of have your interests in mind, they won’t pay the price if you make the wrong decision.

In fact, it may even make them feel better if you make a mistake.

How do us poor humans ever do anything right?

Luckily, there is a simple way.

All those people on Let’s Make a Deal never knew what was at stake until they were up on stage.

Which means they don’t have much time to come up with a strategy.

They see the choice the same time everybody else does.

And there’s a huge amount of time pressure.

But in real life, you can easily avoid that.

Choose what you want ahead of time.

Before anybody else knows.

That way, choosing what to do will be a lot easier.

Because the right choices will take you closer, or teach you skills that will get you closer.

The wrong choices won’t.

The stronger you choose, the easier it will to move toward that choice.

So choose carefully, and start moving.

Learn How:

Seven Disciplines